But there was still a part of her that wanted him, even though the pain he caused her drove her to isolate herself. Those few moments when he held her today, kissed her, she’d wanted to simply sink into him and hold on. Because she finally felt whole again.
*
Unable to sleep, Gage rose at six to call the hospital and check on Mama, then scrambled some eggs. After eating, he took stock of what Mama might need when she returned home and put the list on the refrigerator. The house was spotless. Cleaner than Decker could ever manage on his best day. It had to have been Mia.
He gave up focusing on the house because it wasn’t working. He lay awake all night, thinking about how they’d been with each other. How they fit together like matching pieces of a puzzle. How she’d never once looked down on him for not being in the same economic or social circle. And even her grandmother had treated him with respect and affection.
But how could they ever get back what they had before? He lived on the West Coast and she lived here. She had her business to run. And he was only home six months out of every year. There were just too many issues.
But it didn’t keep him from wanting to find out if they could connect again.
And if they did, what then? Would it just cause them both more pain? He shook his head. He didn’t have time to keep going over and over this situation.
He’d just gotten out of the shower when the doorbell rang, so he wrapped a towel around his waist and went to look out the side window. It was Decker.
Gage opened the door.
“What the hell, Gage? My key doesn’t work anymore.”
“Hello to you too, Decker.”
His brother looked a little healthier than he did the last time Gage visited. Decker had gained a little weight, and his dark eyes looked clear for once. He was darkly tanned.
Decker shrugged one shoulder. “Sorry, I just got upset, thinking I was locked out.”
“Let me put some clothes on and we’ll talk about it.” He went down the hall and went into the first bedroom on the left, where he pulled on underwear and a white T-shirt and jeans.
He entered the living room to find Decker standing right where he left him. “I changed the locks, and I’ve installed cameras to monitor the house. I want Mama to feel safe when she comes back home.”
Decker raised his dark brows. “Is she better?”
“Some. They’ve still got her sedated, but she squeezed my fingers yesterday, so I think she knew I was there.”
“Good.” Decker stuck his hands into his back pockets. “How does she look?”
“Her face is black and blue and swollen, and there are bruises around her neck. She almost died. If Mia hadn’t found her, she probably would have.”
“Don’t you think it’s funny that Mia showed up out of the blue just in time to save her? Do you think she could have done it?”
Gage wondered what she told the police. Getting them to believe she showed up because of a dream might have been a bit of a stretch.
“It takes a man’s strength to do what was done to Mama. Physically, Mia wouldn’t have been able to do so much damage. And Mia would also have had physical signs of trauma to her hands and blood on her clothing. I’m sure Mama fought back.”
He eyed Decker. He always had nicks on his hands from work, his nails were never clean, and his T-shirt looked like he’d been working in it for a couple of days. Having a job hadn’t improved his appearance. But he was working.
“Her brother Mason could have hired it done. She said he was buying up property in the area. Do you know if he offered to buy Mama’s house?”
Decker slumped down on the couch. “Not that I know of. I’m sure she’d have said something to us if he did.”
Gage sat in a chair across from him. “Roman told me about the job. Congratulations.”
Decker looked away. “Thanks. I’m good at working on the bikes, and I’m kind of my own boss as long as I get the work done.”
“Sounds good. I finally had to sell my bike and buy a car. I have to haul around too much gear to ride a bike.”
“Sucks.” Decker picked up a cat toy on the coffee table and kneaded it with his fingers. “Have you seen Mia since you got home?”
“Yeah.”
“How was it?”
Gage was surprised by the question. He wasn’t sure Decker even remembered they used to date. He’d been too involved in his own mischief.
“She’s still as beautiful as she always was.”
“And she’s running that big-ass business now.”
“I’m glad she’s successful and has broken away from her family.”
Decker looked up from his study of the rug. “What do you mean?”
“Mason and Camille Blanchard are bad news. They’re like sharks churning the water, looking for something to eat. Keep your distance from them, Decker, and if either of them approaches you, call Roman right away.”
He wouldn’t tell Decker the story. His younger brother didn’t need to deal with anything that might throw off his current success. Decker was weak, always had been. They all protected him. Too bad they couldn’t protect him from himself.
“How come you changed the locks?”
“Whoever broke in didn’t have to expend much effort getting in. I’ve put deadbolts on both doors, and I’m arming the windows with sensors today. By the time Mama gets home, this place will be as safe as I can make it for her.”
“That’s good, but what if she can’t take care of herself? What do we do then?”
“We’ll deal with that if we have to, Decker. If she has to go into a care facility, we’ll have to sell the house to pay for her care.”
Decker stared at the floor for several moments. Though he looked a lot like Gage and Roman, his long, thin face gave him a more fragile appearance. “But this is our home, too. I thought she’d leave it to us one day when she got old and…you know.”
“You have your apartment, I have mine, and Roman has his house. She took us in and raised us after Mom and Dad died, and we owe it to her to take care of her when it’s her turn. She’s our Mama Bet.” He shouldn’t have to say that. Was Decker really that clueless? Or was it that he had no empathy unless it concerned himself?
Decker dropped his head into his hands. “I can’t believe she’s going to be disabled.”
“They haven’t said that, but there was concern that the lack of oxygen from being strangled might have caused some brain damage that might affect her cognitive abilities.”
Decker ran his fingers through his long, unkept hair, then looked up. “What do you need me to do?”
“I can’t think of anything right now. I’m going to go to the hospital and spend some time with Mama right now.”
“Okay.” Decker stood. “Glad you’re here, Gage.”
“It’s good to be home.” He needed to warn Decker without going through the whole story again. “While I’m here, Deck, you need to be careful. Mason Blanchard resented Mia and me being together, and he’s caused trouble in the past. Now I’m seeing her casually while I’m here… Just be on your toes.”
“Is that what happened before?” Decker asked.
“Yeah.”
Decker’s features hardened. “Okay. I’ll be on the lookout.”
“Do you want to go to the hospital with me?” Gage asked.
Decker shook his head. “I can’t see her like that. She’ll be home soon, and I’ll see her then.”
“Is there anything you want me to tell her? I think she hears me.”
Decker looked away. “Tell her…I love her.” He looked very close to tears as he turned away and left.
At the hospital, Mama’s bruises were darker, but some of the smaller ones were also fading to yellow. When the doctor came in to check on her. Gage cradled her hand gently.
“We’re cutting back on her sedation, so she may come in and out, although I doubt she’ll be able to speak. Her throat is badly traumatized.”
“How long do you thi
nk it’ll take for her to recover?”
“Physically, at least a month. And it will take at least three months for the bones to knit. Emotionally it will be much longer. She may need therapy to get past this.”
“I’m making her home as secure as I can while she’s in here, and I’ll make sure she feels safe.”
After the doctor left, Gage continued to hold Mama’s hand. The joints were a little enlarged by arthritis, and two of her fingers were bruised from defensive wounds. She must have raised her hand to try and fend off her attacker.
If he found out who did this to her, he would beat them bloody and drop them into the bayou for the gators to eat.
He leaned forward in his seat. “Mama. Decker came by the house to see how you were doing. He wants you to know he loves you. We need you, Mama. You have to fight and get better.”
Her breathing changed at the words.
“I saw Mia yesterday. I told her everything that happened before I left. She knows I didn’t want to leave her. But I don’t know what to do about the six years we’ve missed.” Or if there was even any point in trying to build something between them since he’d be going back to San Diego once Mama was better and back in her home.
Her fingers tightened weakly around his, and she opened her eyes a slit, seeming to focus on him.
With a tube down her throat feeding her nutrition, and one eye so swollen it remained a slit, her injuries looked so horrible that his eyes stung with tears. She was so strong. She’d taken in him and his brothers, loved them through their grief and anger, and Decker through addiction. Could she find her way back from this? He had to believe she could.
“You’re going to be okay, Mama. It’s just going to take time.”
She squeezed his hand again and closed her eyes right before the nurses came in to turn her and tell him his ten minutes were up.
He couldn’t do anything else, but he could work on making the house safer. And if she never came home, it would make the place more saleable.
Installing the sensors and the control panel kept Mia and Mama Bet off Gage’s mind. Each element had its own battery and the keypad that controlled it. Each had a backup battery as well. And if a burglar decided to cut the power, the alarm would still go off. And Gage had the key fob that would disarm the system from outside so he could enter the house without setting it off.
He debated about calling Mia for a long time before taking out the card she gave him and punching in the number. At the sound of her voice his heart raced. “Will you have dinner with me?” he asked.
“We just had dinner last night.”
“I mean out in a restaurant. Just the two of us.”
She remained silent for a moment. “What if Camille or Mason should find out?”
“Let them. I’ve done everything I can to protect Mama’s house and myself from them. I’ve reported them to a police detective, and I’ve put cameras up in every room. The alarm system is installed. I can’t live my life running from them anymore. And I need to see you, talk to you.” He sounded fucking pathetic.
“Where would you like to meet?”
“I could come over and pick you up.”
“I think it’s best if I meet you.”
He couldn’t argue with her suggestion. “Where would you like to eat?”
“Let’s meet at Deja Vu around seven.”
That seemed like an appropriate choice of restaurants since they went there often in the past and he’d been having déjà vu moments ever since he got home. “Okay. I’ll meet you there.”
“How’s Mama?”
He was glad to be able to share some good news for a change. “She opened her eyes and looked at me for a few seconds, and squeezed my hand. They’ve been keeping her sedated, but they’re backing her off of it now. I’ll be going back to the hospital in a few minutes to check on her.”
“It’s encouraging to hear that she’s responsive and becoming more aware. Jazz is doing well. Please tell her that when you see her.”
“I will.” Every time he talked to Mia, he ran into a wall of reserve and polite distance. He understood how badly his leaving had hurt her. Or did he? He’d told her how much pain it caused him. But she said little about what it did to her. “I don’t hold you responsible for what Mason did, Mia. You have every reason to be angry with me for leaving. But I hope you can forgive me.”
A beat of silence, then two, followed. “You could have called me any time during the past six years and told me everything you shared with me yesterday. I might have been able to do something about it with my grandmother’s help. But instead you stayed silent.
“I’m not angry with you for running, Gage. I’m angry because you lived the lie my brother perpetrated for the last six years without once trying to reach out and explain to me what happened. You left me to grieve and doubt that you ever loved me. You stayed silent and left me to doubt my self-worth and distrust every man who’s attempted to find a place in my life since.”
Every word ripped into him like a knife. “I did love you, Mia. More than any words could describe. I’ve never stopped regretting that I had to leave. Never stopped wondering what our lives could have been like if only.
“But if you think spending time with me will cause you more pain, I’ll stay away.”
After another beat of silence she said, “I don’t know what I want, Gage. I’ll meet you at Déjà Vu and we can walk Bourbon Street. I don’t imagine you’ve done that in a while.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Neither have I. I’ll see you at seven.”
CHAPTER 9
‡
Mia changed into jeans, a summer sweater, and a baseball hat. It didn’t do to dress up to wander down Bourbon Street.
She wondered if she was making a mistake by meeting Gage at all. She wondered if they’d managed to escape to Baton Rouge together…would they still be together? Until the day he came to her and broke things off, she never doubted his love for her. He’d spoken so emotionlessly about deciding it was too much, too quickly. That he wanted to take a break. That he was leaving on a road trip. She’d been too stunned to fight.
How had he been able to stay away? How had he been able to not pick up the phone? She supposed being out in the ocean for months at a time had limited his ability to call. How had he stood it?
But then she was forced to move on with her life, too. She escaped her mother. Built a wider distance between her and both Camille and Mason. And she built a business, but never trusted anyone enough to lower her guard for more than an occasional date.
Her Uber driver texted her, and she grabbed her small purse, slipped the strap across her body, and checked one last time for the money she thought she’d need.
Jazz followed her to the door, and she scooped him up to give him a cuddle. “I’ll be back in a little while. I promise.”
She slipped out the door and locked it before Jazz could make a run for it, and the Uber dropped her at the restaurant with five minutes to spare. Déjà Vu was crowded, even though it was a weeknight. She paused a moment inside, looking around till Gage stood to get her attention. With his olive skin and dark eyes and hair, he had an overt masculinity that triggered feelings of pure lust every time she saw him. She dragged in a breath and moved forward to meet him.
He’d chosen a booth, perhaps to give them more privacy, and waited for her to be seated across from him before he slid into the seat himself.
“This place hasn’t changed at all,” he commented.
She looked around at the familiar red chairs and booths. The framed posters that lined the space. “Neighborhood restaurants and bars don’t change, because the locals are comfortable with the way they are.”
A waitress came to the table bearing silverware and menus, and she greeted them, set out the silverware, then took their drink orders and left.
“How’s Mama?” she asked.
“She’s coming out of the sedation. I swung by the hospital to see her before I came h
ere, and she opened her eyes again. And I’m certain she knew I was there. Also, I’ve wired the house with an alarm system with sensors on every door and window.”
“Good.”
“It will alert to my phone if anything is opened while the alarm is on.”
“Hopefully Mama will feel safe now that’s done. And you can relax while you’re out.”
“Some.”
The waitress came back to take their order. Gage settled on the catfish with mashed potatoes and deep-fried green beans, usually an appetizer, but he wanted them with his meal. Mia ordered a salad with grilled chicken.
“I remember a time when you wouldn’t even touch a green vegetable,” Mia commented after the waitress left.
“They’re fried, so I’m not sure they count.”
She laughed.
“If you drop it in hot oil or throw it on a grill, I’ll eat it. And after eating MREs for weeks when I’m deployed, I’ll eat anything that looks like normal food.”
Why did he put himself through such discomfort, both physically and emotionally? “What inspired you to join the Navy?”
“One of the guys on the rig was retired Navy. He’d share stories about the guys in his unit, and the idea of the brotherhood appealed to me.”
Perhaps because he missed his own brothers. He’d always been so close to Roman, and Decker too, until Decker got caught up in things Gage couldn’t condone.
“After being on the rig for a year, I needed something different. I already knew how to scuba, and the company was trying to talk me into training for saturation dives, but I couldn’t see myself inside a saturation chamber for weeks on end. So when my year was up, I decided to go talk to a recruiter. Since I was in pretty good physical shape, and could swim like a fish, he urged me to go for the SEALs.”
“From what I’ve read, a lot of what you do is dangerous, Gage.”
“It can be, but we’re trained.”
“Don’t try and make light of it with me. I saw some of what you go through on the internet. How did you adjust to all that?”
“Training. Muscle memory. And you learn to compartmentalize your emotions.”
Hot SEAL, Midnight Magic (SEALs In Paradise) Page 7
