A female voice began speaking, and my eyes flew open. I sat up abruptly and strained my ears to be sure. Yes, that was definitely a woman's voice speaking. What the hell? Still unable to make out any words I climbed out of the bed to investigate, but I paused as I realized all my clothes were downstairs. I glanced around to find Jensen's green T-shirt lying on the floor and pulled it on over my head. It was just long enough to cover my ass and would have to do.
I crept out of the doorway and peered down the stairs near the bedroom door. I couldn't see anyone, so I tiptoed halfway down until the voices became clear, and I froze as Jensen's voice rose in anger.
CHAPTER FOUR
Jensen
I felt the moment Sydney fell asleep, her warm body relaxing into me with a soft sigh of satisfaction. My arms tightened around her, and I buried my face in her hair and inhaled. God, she felt so good with her back pressing into my chest and my cock still inside her, but I needed to discard of the condom. With a sigh of regret, I pulled myself out of her and rolled onto my back. I pulled off the condom and reached over to the trash next to the bed, and dropped it in. A smile played across my lips when I realized that I could still smell her on my face whenever I inhaled.
I rolled back over to Sydney and pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder. Her face looked beautiful in repose, her long lashes lying just above the flush that still colored her cheeks. I had been happy to discover that her cheeks did indeed flush a lovely shade of pink when she came. I traced my fingers down her side to her hip, and she hummed in her sleep and shifted into my touch. My cock was already starting to perk up again. I turned away reluctantly, got up off the bed, and crossed the room to my bathroom. I left the door open, so I could still see her as I washed my face and brushed my teeth.
My eyes locked on her while I stood in the open doorway with my toothbrush in my mouth. Something about her called to me, and I felt helpless to resist it. She made me feel normal again, like I did before my life fell apart. How was that even possible? Today was the first time I could remember actually enjoying spending time with anyone since that night. I felt centered and calm, without anger threatening to engulf me at any moment. When I had lost myself in the grief earlier, she had been able to pull me free and bring me back. I was so grateful for that, that it made my hands itch to touch her again.
After I rinsed my mouth, I put my toothbrush back in its stand. Walking to the bed, I noticed goose bumps scattered across Sydney's arms and legs. Gently, I eased the chocolate brown comforter and sheets out from under her body without waking her, and pulled them up to her chin. She immediately snuggled down deeper into them, and I smiled again.
I grabbed my jeans and boxers up off the floor and pulled them back on. She would be thirsty when she woke up, and I wanted to have something for her when she did. I took one last look at her, then went down the stairs just past my bedroom door. As I walked through my living room, my eyes were drawn to the eschewed coffee table. I paused long enough to push it back into place, and a corner of my mouth curved into a grin as I noticed Sydney's clothes scattered on the floor.
I padded barefoot down a short hall between a bathroom and the stairs to the foyer, and entered my kitchen. There was still daylight shining through the large window behind my kitchen table, and I glanced at the microwave clock. It was almost six-thirty, and it felt like it should have been later. A lot of shit had happened today, and I was already tired.
I turned to the refrigerator, and opened it to grab a bottle of water for Sydney and a large jug of orange juice for myself. Closing the door, I moved to the table and set down the water, opened the jug, and took a long swallow of juice. The sudden sound of my doorbell startled me into spilling juice down my chest. Who the fuck could that be? I thought as I set the jug down, grabbed a towel, and wiped myself off.
I headed down the steps to the foyer hoping the doorbell didn't wake up Sydney, and saw a familiar silhouette through the thin curtains on the door's small window. I cursed under my breath as I reached the door to unlock it. Annie stood there as I opened the door, her angry face glaring at me.
"Where the hell have you been?" she demanded. "You're mother has been worried sick about you! I've been trying to call you all afternoon!"
"I went for a drive," I said with irritation. "I'm fine."
"Then why didn't you answer your phone?"
With a sigh, I ran a hand through my hair. I had turned my phone off and thrown it on the floor of the Camaro after I had left Mom's house. It must have slid somewhere under the seat, and I hadn't thought about it until now. I didn't much care either.
"I turned it off," I answered her quietly. "Sorry."
She huffed out a breath of exasperation and pushed past me through the doorway. I closed the door and followed her up the steps, grateful when she turned right and entered the kitchen. I didn't want to wake Sydney or have to explain the women's clothes scattered around my couch. She paused in the middle of the kitchen and surveyed the room, probably noting the dirty dishes in the sink and the clutter on my table. A petty part of my brain hoped the disorder drove her crazy. I felt like my privacy was being invaded by her very presence. She turned back to face me as I stood in the doorway.
"What's going on with you?" she asked, her anger replaced with concern now. "I've hardly seen you at all lately, and when I do, you freak out at the dinner table and scare my kids half to death."
"I'm sorry," I said in shame and dropped my gaze to the floor.
"You're mother has been crying all afternoon, thinking you're dead on the side of the road somewhere," she said, her voice rising in anger again. "Sorry, isn't good enough, Jensen."
"What am I supposed to do then?" I said with growing irritation.
"Just talk to me. Tell me what's wrong with you," she pleaded and stepped closer to me. I met her eyes again and the pity I saw there pissed me off.
"There's nothing to fucking talk about!" I shouted and she stepped back in surprise, hurt feelings in her eyes.
"Jordan would never have let you talk to me that way," she spoke bitterly, with angry tears pooling in her eyes. Rage flared again at her words.
"Well, Jordan's not fucking here is he?!"
She gasped in shock, and the tears in her eyes began falling down her cheeks. I stared blankly back at her pain filled expression, in shock myself at my words. A sudden sob tore from her chest. She shoved her way past me to hurry down the steps. I turned as she reached the bottom and I watched her open the door. She slammed the door as she rushed out, the force of it rattling the walls of the foyer. What the fuck was wrong with me? A massive wave of guilt hit me. Why had I just done that, lashed out to hurt Annie, when all she wanted was to make sure I was alright? I didn't go after her, afraid of what else I might say to her.
I walked down the hall to the living room and slumped on my couch with a sigh. I leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees and held my face in my hands. The guilt filled me with a nauseating sick feeling. Annie was right; Jordan would have kicked my ass for talking to his wife like that. Thoughts of my brother dredged up horrible memories, and I was barely able to stuff them back down again. The struggle was getting harder each time. When would it finally break me?
"Jensen?" the voice of an angel spoke. Sydney. I looked up from my hands to see her standing at the foot of the steps to my room. She was wearing my green T-shirt, and her legs looked amazing in it. Her face was unsure, and I wondered how much of my conversation with Annie she had heard. God, what if she thought that I was a complete asshole now?
"Sydney," I spoke with a longing and need I didn't even know I was feeling, until I said her name out loud. I tensed as I waited for that horrible look of pity that I was so tired of seeing on other peoples faces. To my surprise, all I saw was understanding in her eyes as she crossed the room to me. She sat on the couch on my right side, curled her legs up under her, and laid her head on my shoulder. Her left arm wrapped around my waist; the other came to rest on my bicep.
"Who was
that?" she asked softly.
"My sister-in-law," I answered, my voice sounding raw and hoarse.
"Oh," she said as if that explained everything she needed to know and said nothing else. Her left hand began rubbing soft circles on my back, and I sighed into them with grateful relief. I leaned my head against hers, and we sat there for a long moment as I just enjoyed her body being close to mine. Finally, I had to speak.
"Aren't you going to ask me about it?" I asked quietly.
"About what?" she whispered back.
"About why I yelled at Annie and made her run out of here crying."
"I already know why," she said with assurance in her voice. I sat up abruptly and stared at her in confusion. "You're not the only person to have lost part of their family," she explained with sincerity. "or done something to the ones that they love that they regret, because of the pain they were in."
She stretched her right hand in front of me with her palm up. I studied it for a moment before I could make out a faint jagged scar crossing her wrist. It took another moment for me to understand what it meant. My eyes flew back up to hers when I figured it out.
"You..." I trailed off unable to say the words.
"Tried to kill myself," she finished with a tight smile, "after my parents died."
"I...I don't know what to say," I said after a moment.
"You don't have to say anything," she said to me. "I just wanted you to know that you're not alone." I gaped at her in amazement for a second, then I took her wrist and pressed my lips to her scar. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap, tucking her against my chest with her head under my chin. I was sure of it now; she was my salvation.
"Thank you," I whispered, clutching her tighter against me. She leaned her head back to look up at me. The most beautiful smile I had ever seen lit up her face, and I had to kiss her. Her lips were warm and pliant as she opened her mouth to me. I ran my tongue along hers until she sucked my lower lip into her mouth and bit down to the point of pain. I groaned into her mouth as she released me and sucked the pain away. My hips thrust forward unconsciously pushing my growing erection up against her. She moaned in response and clawed at my chest.
I lifted her hips up and straddled her legs across mine, her knees pressed into the couch cushions, feet dangling from the front. I pulled her hard against my cock, grinding her into me. Her hands tangled into the hair on the back of my head, and our kiss suddenly turned desperate with our desire. My hands grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up until she raised her arms to let me pull it over her head.
She arched her back, presenting her breasts to me, and I latched onto her left one with a growl. She moaned in delight, and pushed her nipple farther into my mouth, and I sucked harder.
"Oh, Jensen," she sighed in ecstasy. Her hands moved down to my fly and worked the button open. I smiled against her nipple, happy that this time I didn't have to stop her. Her answering giggle amused me to no end. When she finally got the zipper pulled down, I lifted my hips up and helped her push my pants and boxers past my knees.
I paused to grab a condom from my wallet before kicking my jeans off. She took it from me with a smile, and I watched in fascination as she opened the wrapper and eased the condom down onto me with a deft gentle touch. She raised up on her knees and lined my cock up with her entrance. I felt my eyes roll up into my head as she lowered herself onto me. It felt so wet and tight inside her, and it was all I could do not to come on the spot. I gripped her hip in one hand and started moving her back and forth, moving in and out of her in a slow easy rhythm. Her hands rested on my shoulders, and her head fell back with boneless pleasure. I reached down between us and began making slow circles on her clit with my thumb, watching as her breathing became ragged. I felt her fingernails dig into my shoulders, and I let out another deep growl.
Our rhythm picked up speed along with my clitoral stimulation. I could feel the walls inside her rippling in anticipation of an orgasm, so I pressed down with my thumb and sent her flying over the edge. The incoherent scream she made was the sexiest damn thing I had ever heard, and I wanted to hear it again. When she quieted after coming back down to earth, I sent her up once more. This time she stopped breathing for a moment before screaming my name repeatedly with her head flung back. Her nails dug deeper into my shoulders, and I didn't care. The sharp bite of pain a welcome sacrifice to Sydney's pleasure.
I released the pressure on her clit and gripped both her hips tightly and pumped her against me hard and fast, drawing her climax out as long as I could. I watched her breasts bouncing in front of me as she came and came, her body shuddering uncontrollably. My own orgasm hit me hard. I felt my cock begin pulsing inside her as I came violently, growling her name and pulling her against my chest as waves of hot pleasure surged through me.
When it was over, we stayed connected to each other, our foreheads pressed together, panting from exertion. Her arms wrapped around my neck as I held her tight. I could have stayed this way forever, holding her, smelling her, feeling her. I brought my hands up to cradle her face between them and kissed her softly then leaned back to look at her. Her face was flushed and glowing as she smiled at me.
"Thank you," I said again, my voice raw with emotion. She replied by peppering my face with soft kisses and ending with one hard one to my lips that made my cock twitch inside her. She gasped at the sensation.
"You're insatiable, aren't you?" she asked with amusement.
"I can't get enough of you," I told her with a bemused smile. Her head slumped down onto my shoulder, and I cradled her there with one hand. She suddenly sat up with a gasp.
"Your bleeding!" she cried. I reached up to one shoulder and came away with a small amount of blood on my fingers. The wounds were starting to sting a little, and I liked it.
"I don't care," I said with a huge grin. "You can mark me anywhere you want. Except the face of course. Don't want to mess up the money maker."
"Otherwise, the other hot construction workers won't listen to a thing you say," she added in a serious tone and then laughed. I lifted her off of me as I laughed with her, feeling a tinge of regret at the lost connection. I sat her down next to me and stood to go get rid of the condom.
"Don't move. I'll be right back," I told her as I walked toward the hall bathroom. She nodded just before I walked out of sight. I entered the small bathroom and tossed the used rubber in the trash. I paused in front of the mirror to survey the damage to my shoulders. It wasn't bad, only a couple of her nails had actually broken the skin. Part of me hoped it scarred. It was weird seeing me smile at myself in the mirror. I grabbed a washcloth out of the cupboard above the toilet and ran some warm water to soak it in. Once the water warmed up enough I ran the cloth under the stream and then wrung it out. When I returned to Sydney, she was still right where I left her, looking around the room with interest.
"I like your place," she said as I approached her.
"Thanks," I replied as I stopped in front of her. "Now lay back for me."
"Why?" she asked in confusion.
"I'm going to clean you up, silly," I answered and held the warm washcloth up to her. Suddenly, her face flushed with embarrassment, and I snorted in amusement. "Really? Now you're embarrassed?"
"I...I've never had anyone do that before," Her discomfort was obvious as she averted her eyes.
"Let me do this for you. You have no reason to be embarrassed around me. Ever," I assured her. She raised her eyes back up to mine. "I take care of what's mine." Those last words hit her hard, and her eyes softened in acceptance.
"Okay," she whispered, the pale gray of her eyes threatening to suck me down into them. I knelt in front of her and spread her thighs apart. I kissed the inside of each thigh with reverence and then gently wiped her clean.
"There," I said as I finished. "Was that so bad?"
"No," she said quietly as her eyes misted over. I realized then that no one must have ever cared enough to do this. It was a shame; she deserved this
and so much more. I was glad I could give this to her. I changed the subject to save her from anymore discomfort.
"Are you hungry?" I asked her. "For food?" I clarified. That earned me a glare. I just smiled at her; she looked adorable when she was annoyed.
"Yeah," she answered, her glare turning into a smile. "I'm starving."
"Me too. Let's get dressed and go fix that." I stood and started gathering up her clothes from the floor.
"I could cook something for us," Sydney suggested as I handed her her bra.
"You can cook?" I asked, intrigued by her suggestion.
"I'm pretty good at it," she replied. I watched in disappointment as she covered those beautiful tits of hers. She took her panties and jeans from my outstretched hand.
"You just got even hotter." I had a sudden image of her wearing only an apron. She rolled her eyes at me, and I smiled again. "We'll have to go to the store though. I doubt I have anything worth cooking here."
"We could go to my place. Lauren always keeps the kitchen stocked, and she's over at her boyfriends tonight."
"That sounds like a great idea," I said as I watched her slide her black lace panties up her toned legs. I quickly pulled my boxers and pants on before I got other ideas. "I'll get my boots, and we can go."
I ran up the steps to my room, and picked up my boots and socks from the floor where I had left them. When I came back down the steps, I found Sydney dressed and slipping on her shoes. I sighed; I liked her better naked. She looked up and smiled as I entered the room, her eyes drifting down to my still bare chest. I suspected she was thinking the same about me.
Let Me Love You: Beautifully Broken Book 1 Page 7
