Let Me Love You: Beautifully Broken Book 1

by Samantha Wolfe

  "I...I don't know," I mumbled and looked back at Jordan. I took a closer look at him this time and wished I hadn't. When my eyes scanned down to his chest, I could see the tip of a metal fence post sticking out of the right side of his chest.

  "Jensen?" a female voice asked.

  I felt a soft touch against the backs of my hands and when they were pulled away from my face, I saw an angel looking down at me.

  "What are you doing out here?" Sydney asked in confusion as she squatted down in front of me. Her gray eyes were wide with worry. She reached down, picked up my phone, and handed it to me. "Did the call to your mom not go well?"

  "No, not really," I answered as I pulled myself back to reality. That was twice now that I had gotten lost in the past today. What the hell was happening to me?

  "The foods almost ready," she told me. "You were out here so long, I was beginning to think you had left."

  She stood and held a hand out to me. I took it and let her help me stand.

  "I wouldn't do that to you," I said and squeezed her hand. She smiled.

  "Come on. Let's go eat." She began leading me back to her apartment, and I let her. I'd follow her anywhere if she let me.

  As it turned out, Sydney was a fantastic cook. The chicken was perfect with some sort of crunchy cheese topping on it. The rice and broccoli were excellent as well. I told her as much, and the smile my compliments induced was heart stopping. It made me hungry for something else.

  I ate quickly out of sheer hunger, realizing that I hadn't eaten in hours. Sydney was only half way through her food when I finished mine. With a laugh, she got up, took my plate, and filled it again without me even having to ask. She sat it on the table in front of me and sat back down in her chair.

  "Try tasting it this time," she suggested with amusement. I slowly took a bite of the chicken.

  "Is that better?" I said after swallowing it. She shook her head and continued eating. I shoveled more food into my mouth. Damn, it tasted good.

  "Hey, what did your friend say about my car?" she asked.

  "I'm dropping your key off in the morning," I answered her. "They'll even come get the car. What time do you need to be at work tomorrow?"

  "I'm working eight to five and I...I don't know how to thank you," she said with a smile.

  "You don't have to thank me." I smiled back. "Just keep feeding me like this."

  "You have a deal," she said and reached across the table with her right hand. I put my fork down and grasped her hand in mine to shake it, but when our eyes met across the table, our hands stayed clasped between us, and I couldn't speak. Her eyes seemed to capture mine, and I couldn't pull them away. I rubbed my thumb in a circle on the back of her hand, thinking of another part of her body that I had done the same to earlier. Her pupils dilated in reaction to my touch, and I knew she felt it too. This unbearable need. Abruptly, she pulled her hand back with a startled look on her face. She stood and started gathering the dirty plates and glasses from the table.

  "Um...I'd better get these in the sink," she mumbled with discomfort. The intensity between us was overwhelming. I sat and watched her walk to the kitchen in helpless need. She stopped at the sink with her back to me, and I heard the clink of the plates as she set them down. I stood up and moved toward her unconsciously.

  "Sydney?" I said, my voice filled with need. She turned facing me, her lips parted and eyes bright. "I need..."

  "Yes," she whispered before I could finish my sentence. She pushed herself away from the counter and met me halfway across the room. She crashed into me and practically climbed up my body to get her mouth on mine. I clutched her to me to keep her from falling and kissed her back fiercely, our lips and tongues dancing together. The kiss was almost bruising, like we were trying sink into each other. She pulled away with a gasp, panting to catch her breath. I blazed kisses along her chin and down to her neck, nipping the tender skin there with my teeth. Her answering whimper made me growl deep in my chest.

  "Fuck me," she whispered. "Fuck me right now."

  I answered with another growl and ripped her T-shirt up and over her head. I knelt and undid the fly of her jeans and pulled them off each leg. I lifted her into the air as I stood and took her over to the kitchen table. I laid her on her back across it, and reached down to undo my jeans while I stared at her body. Her chest heaved with panting breaths and her eyes never left mine, her hands clutching the edge of the tabletop with white knuckles. Her need called to me, and I pulled my cock out of my boxers and leaned over her. I pulled her panties to the side and thrust into her sharply. She was so wet and tight that the sensation sent a violent tremor through me. Her hands came up and started clawing at my chest as her insides seemed to writhe around my cock. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the table on each side of her head as she wrapped her legs around my waist.

  "Please..." she pleaded and I started pounding into her, the silverware still on the table rattling across the wood and clattering to the hardwood floor. My almost inhuman grunts punctuated each of my thrusts as she moaned along with me, her voice rising higher and higher. Her back arched up off the table as her climax hit her, a wailing scream bursting from her lips. I thrust harder into her, dragging her orgasm out as long as I could, a dark part of me loving the feel of her arms fighting against my grip on her wrists.

  Her body fell back onto the table again, and I slowed to let her catch her breath. She opened her eyes and smiled at me, but I wasn't done with her yet. I changed the angle of my hips and thrust hard into her again and hummed in satisfaction as her eyes rolled back into her head. I slammed into her time and time again, my own climax swiftly approaching. I could feel it building as Sydney started screaming my name over and over. Her back arched up again, and I let myself go, my cock pulsing as I came hard and long inside her. I shouted her name as waves of pleasure coursed through me, and I collapsed on top of her, my head between her breasts, the lace of her bra catching on the stubble on my cheeks. Harsh breaths heaved in and out of my lungs as my heart pounded inside my chest.

  I could feel Sydney's heart beating strong and fast under my right ear. When I finally raised my head to look at her, her head was turned to the side with her eyes closed. She opened her eyes and lifted her head to look at me, a huge smile curling her lips up. Her wrists broke the now weak grip I had on her and she twisted her fingers into my hair. I smiled back in amazement over what had just happened, until reality suddenly smacked me in the face. I didn't use a condom. I felt my face slacken in horror.

  "Fuck," I blurted out in a whisper.

  "What?" she asked in reaction to my facial expression, her brow furrowing.

  "I forgot to put on a condom," I answered her.

  "Don't worry," she assured me. "I get birth control shots."

  A wave of relief washed over me, and she laughed at me. I pulled out of her to stand upright and reached toward her to take her outstretched hand and help her up onto her feet. I pulled her into my arms, and she snuggled into me with a sigh. She smelled so good as I breathed her in. She looked up at me, put her hands on the sides of my face, and pulled me down for a kiss that ended much too soon.

  "Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked softly and pressed her forehead to mind.

  "I thought you'd never ask," I replied with relief. I didn't want to go home and sleep alone with my nightmares again.

  "I need to go to the bathroom," she said, and I let her go reluctantly, watching her disappear down the nearby hallway. I pulled my boxers back up and refastened my jeans. I turned to the kitchen table and snorted in amusement. The whole table had been moved over quite a bit, and several pieces of silverware littered the floor around it. I took a few moments to set everything right and put the silverware in the sink. I noticed Sydney's phone sitting on the breakfast bar and realized I didn't even have her number. I picked it up and dialed my phone. I ended the call and put hers back down to get my own phone out and added her number to my contact list.

  I paused as a tho
ught occurred to me. On impulse, I picked Sydney's phone back up and scrolled down through her contacts until I found Clay's name. After a quick glance toward the empty hallway, I looked down once more to see his last name, McCallister, and noted his cell number. Unfortunately, his address wasn't there. I suddenly realized what I was doing and put her phone back down as if it had burned me. What the hell was I going to do, hunt him down in his own house? Thank God the address wasn't in her phone. I was acting like some crazy stalker.

  I looked up to see Sydney walk back into the room. She looked incredible in her bra and panties, standing there with her hair in a wild disheveled mass around her head. When my eyes finally made it up to her eyes, I could see how tired she was.

  "My eyes are up here, buddy," she said with a sexy smile, pointing to her face. Then she yawned, and I couldn't help laughing. "What are you laughing at?" She asked with a glare.

  "Sorry." I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. I ran my hand down the curve of her spine to her ass and squeezed gently. Her skin was so soft, her ass fitting perfectly in my hand. She sagged against me and sighed, then I scooped her up into my arms. She squeaked in surprise.

  "What are you doing?" she asked with a laugh.

  "Taking you to bed," I replied and her eyes lit up with renewed desire. "Get your mind out of the gutter. We're going to sleep," I said as I flicked off the light switch to the room.

  "You're no fun." She pouted at me.

  "I'm sure you'll be able to persuade me into doing something," I assured her. "Which room is yours?"

  "On the right."

  I carried her into the doorway of her room, and she flicked on the light switch nearby. I moved to the side of her bed and laid her down gently on the red comforter. She looked up at me and smiled, making me want her all over again. Sleep suddenly wasn't a priority anymore.

  "Oh, I left my phone in the kitchen," she suddenly said. "Could you get it for me?"

  "Sure, I'll be right back." I smiled indulgently at her. I went to use the bathroom first and then back out to the kitchen to retrieve her phone for her. By the time I got to her room once again, she was on her side fast asleep under the blankets, her bra and panties lying on the floor. So much for her persuasion. I placed her phone on the charger next to the bed and stripped out of my clothes. I set the alarm on my phone for six, thinking that would give me plenty of time to get Sydney to work on time.

  I put my phone down on the other bedside stand and crawled into the bed to spoon behind her. She sighed in her sleep and wiggled her hips against me. I clutched her against my chest and buried my face in her hair breathing in the scent of her with every breath. I drifted off to sleep almost immediately, with the feel of soft warm skin against mine and visions of beautiful gray eyes in my head.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Sydney

  My bladder woke me up sometime in the middle of the night, and I found myself lying on my back trapped under Jensen. Pale moonlight illuminated him through the window at the head of my bed. His head was on my belly with his right arm wrapped around my hip, pulling me against him. He felt so warm against my skin that I really wished I didn't need to move him. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he sighed and pulled me even tighter to his body. My fingers drifted down over his shoulder to the tattoo that circled his right bicep. I traced a finger along the black lines of ink crossing in and out of each other in intricate Celtic knots around his arm, wondering why he had chosen this particular design. He mumbled my name in his sleep and nuzzled his face against me, causing my bladder to remind me why I needed to get up.

  With a sigh of resignation, I gently lifted Jensen's arm off of me and slid sideways out from under his head. He settled on his stomach and continued sleeping soundly. I stood next to the bed for a moment and looked at him lying there with the blankets riding low on his hips. The top curve of his perfect ass was just visible above the edge of the sheet with two dimples above each cheek. The sight made me want to sink my teeth into one of them, but unfortunately my bladder had other ideas. Besides, his ass would still be here when I returned. I hurried to the bathroom anxious to get back to him.

  I shut the door and turned on the light in the bathroom before taking care of my protesting bladder, then I looked at myself in the mirror while I washed my hands. My hair was a hot mess, and my eye makeup had run down under my eyes. I looked like the bride of Frankenstein. Yikes! I grabbed a makeup removing towelette from one of the drawers and gently wiped all the makeup off my face. A quick run of a brush through my hair and I looked presentable. Maybe I could mess my hair up again? I smirked at my reflection.

  My God, that man was hot. The things he did to me today. I don't think I would ever look at the kitchen table the same again. However, it was more than the sex. He was so easy to be with. He was funny and sweet, and always taking care of me. The exact opposite of Clay who, in hind sight, had been manipulating me and telling me what I wanted to hear from the beginning. Thank God I had only been seeing him for a few months, before I figured that out. Clay only looked out for himself. Jensen wasn't like that at all and didn't seem to have an insincere bone in his body. I was really starting to think I could fall for this man.

  That thought sent a moment of panic surging through my body. Please don't let me be wrong about him, too. I wanted something like my sister and Adam had, but did that desire make me blind to reality? For my own mental well being, I hoped not. It had taken me a long time to want to connect with anyone after my parents were killed. I had spiraled into out of control drinking and casual meaningless sex after that, leading up to a failed suicide attempt that nearly destroyed what was left of my family. I never wanted to go back to anything like that again.

  I took a deep breath and let those thoughts go. No point borrowing trouble right now, not when there was a beautiful man in my bed who wanted me. I fluffed my hair with my fingers, nodded to myself, and headed back to bed. Half way to my room, I paused when I heard noise coming from my room. It was Jensen's voice. I hurried the rest of the way and stopped in the doorway. Jensen was curled into a fetal position on his side, mumbling under his breath, his face a mask of pain.

  "Jensen?" I asked quietly, but he didn't respond at all. I approached the side of the bed slowly, realizing he must be having a nightmare.

  "No, no, no..." he mumbled and curled into a tighter ball, his voice raw and filled with pain. "I...I'm so sorry..."

  I stood staring at him helplessly, not sure if I should touch him or not. His pain was heart wrenching, and I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't want to make it worse either.

  "Jordan," he continued. "I...I...I killed you...should have been me."

  Oh my God, he was having a nightmare about his brother. A sudden sob wracked his entire body, and I couldn't take it anymore. I crawled across the bed to him, and pulled his head into my lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around my waist and held onto me tightly as another sob tore through him.

  "Shh," I whispered as I began running my fingers through his hair. He kept sobbing, and I leaned down to curl myself into him. "It's okay, baby. I'm here."

  "Sydney," he mumbled as his body finally started to relax against me.

  "Yes, it's me. Go back to sleep," I breathed into his ear as my fingers continued sliding back and forth through his hair. He mumbled something else I couldn't make out and quieted down into a sound sleep again. I kissed the top of his head gently and held him a little longer, just to make sure his nightmare was really over.

  My heart broke for him and for the unbearable pain he must be going through. I had been there, lived through the nightmares, both waking and sleeping. I had at least had Lauren to comfort me at night when my nightmares got so bad that my screaming would wake her up. I suspected that no one, not even Jensen himself, had any idea how much he was suffering. He hid it that well.

  When I was finally satisfied that he was fast asleep, I scooted down the bed and into his arms. I pressed my back up against his chest, and he pulled me in tigh
t. He breathed out a deep sigh into my neck and settled into stillness. I sighed in relief and let his warmth lull me back to sleep.

  I woke again to the sound an unfamiliar alarm going off. I felt cold air on my back as the sound was suddenly cut off. Then a warm muscular body was pressed up against me again. Soft lips caressed my shoulder, and Jensen's hand slid down the side of my body to my hip. He pressed his erection into my lower back with a thrust of his hips, and I wiggled against him.

  "Good morning." His sexy voice rumbled against my skin.

  "Good morning," I sighed back to him as his hand moved up to surround my left breast, his thumb tracing lazy circles around my nipple. A whine of need escaped my lips at his ministrations. I could feel my pulse beating a steady rhythm between my thighs as desire pooled inside me.

  "I need to be inside you," he growled in my ear.

  "Yes," I whispered, need flaring hotly through my body.

  He reached down between us and began rubbing the head of his cock against the growing slickness around my entrance. I shuddered with need at the sensation and pushed my hips back against him.

  "Do you want my cock inside you?" he asked in a low tone.

  "Please...please..." I begged, desperate to be filled by him.

  "Tell me you want my cock inside you," he demanded, his words causing a long moan to leak out between my lips.

  "I...I want your cock inside me," I told him with another moan.

  Without another word he pushed into me slowly, my pussy so wet he slid in easily. I gasped at the exquisite sensation, and a tremor shot through my body. He moved slowly in and out of me at a leisurely pace with his hand on my hip. I could feel his hums of pleasure vibrate against the skin on my shoulder where his lips touched me.

  "Is this what you wanted?" he asked me with a growl.

  "Yes."

  "Do you love my cock inside you?"

  "Yes, oh yes," I whispered. His filthy talk sending waves of pleasure through my entire body. He let go of my hip and slid his hand through the short curls of hair down to my pussy. My hips bucked as his finger swirled around my clit. His finger circled repeatedly, building up pressure higher and higher, until it burst out of me with a keening moan of pleasure as the orgasm hit me.