"I have no idea what you're talking about." His voice was flat and emotionless, but the fear I could see in his eyes belied his words. Talking about this was obviously something he didn't want to do. I didn't want to darken the mood tonight after everything that had happened between us, but I couldn't let it go.
"I saw you outside by the detached garage. You looked so angry, and I was worried about you," I said in a low whisper, my fingers still caressing his scalp.
"I..." he trailed off as he struggled to talk to me, his eyes still fixed on the television. "That was my dad's garage. I just didn't want to go in there." His voice was barely audible as he answered me, the pain in his eyes speaking volumes.
"Oh," I answered quietly. No wonder he didn't want to talk about it. I decided to let it go. "I loved your mom. She seemed really nice."
"She loved you," he replied, the pained look on his face still tightening the skin around his eyes. "The kids loved you."
"I loved them, too."
"I love you." He turned his head and looked up at me, the sincerity of his words filling his eyes, and supplanting the pain that had been there a moment ago. I leaned forward and kissed him deeply, showing him what hearing those words meant to me. I pulled back panting breathlessly.
"And I love you," I whispered back, placing a hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes at my words and sighed.
"I'll never be tired of hearing that," he said and grabbed the back of my head to pull me down for another kiss. "Never." He looked deep into my eyes, showing me how he felt with his eyes.
He turned back to the TV, and I returned my hand to his hair to stroke him. We sat like that for a while, and he fell asleep, his breathing becoming slow and even. We both jumped when the doorbell rang sometime later.
"Fuck," he said as he sat up. "That scared the shit out of me."
"You're such a potty mouth," I told him with an amused grin. He shrugged.
"I'd apologize, but you'd get tired of me having to say I was sorry every time I opened my damn mouth," he said with a smile. He left the room to go to answer the door. He returned with bags of food that looked like entirely too much for only two people.
"How many people are you planning on feeding here?" I said with a snort of laughter. His face turned sheepish as he set the bags on the coffee table in front of me.
"I'm hungry," he defended himself. "I've got to refuel so that I can sex your brains out again."
"Well, if you put it that way." I smiled flirtatiously. "Carry on."
We pulled out all the boxes and dug in. My orange chicken was perfect, and I ate all of it as I watched Jensen put away enough food for an army. This time I didn't tease him about it.
"Shit, I forgot to tell you," he said as he set his last box down on the coffee table. "I got a call from Andy earlier. Someone jumped Denny at Purcell's tonight."
"What?" I cried in shock. "Is he okay?"
"He's banged up pretty good, but he'll be alright." His eyes were filled with anger.
"Who would do such a thing?" I asked incredulously.
"I'll tell you exactly who I think did it," he answered with a low angry growl. "It had to be McCallister."
"What? No, that can't..." I stammered. "Why...?" Realization hit me. "Shit. It was him, wasn't it," I finally admitted. I could still see the insane look on Clay's face when he cornered me yesterday. This seemed exactly like something that vindictive asshole would do. "Is he going to get arrested?"
"I doubt it," Jensen said in a clipped tone. "Denny didn't see who did it, and there aren't any security cameras at Purcell Auto."
"So there's nothing we can do then," I said with a sigh of disappointment. "Do you think he'll come after me again, or you?" I asked in sudden distress, my heart rate pounding in my chest. He leaned forward and pulled me into his arms.
"Don't worry, baby," he reassured me. "I'll keep you safe. I won't let that fucker touch you again. I'm not afraid of him, and he knows that I can take him." I sighed into his embrace. I'd never felt this safe with anyone. I knew he'd do anything to keep me safe. "I'll take you to work tomorrow again, just to make sure you're safe."
"I don't have to work tomorrow," I told him as I hugged him back.
"Really?" he asked with interest.
"Nope. I've got the whole day off."
He leaned forward and took his phone off the coffee table and started typing feverishly.
"What are you doing?" I asked with curiosity.
"Telling my uncle that I'm taking a personal day tomorrow."
"You can do that?"
"Family business, remember?" he answered with an easy smile and a wink.
"I need a family business, so I can take off whenever I like," I mumbled under my breath. "Must be nice."
"Oh, I'll probably pay for it later with overtime," he said wryly. "But it'll be worth it."
"What are we going to do tomorrow?" I asked with excitement.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, his voice suddenly serious. "You thought I took the day off to spend it with you? Wow, that presumptuous."
"Not funny," I said and punched him in the arm.
"Ow!" he hollered. "Has anyone ever told you how violent you are?"
"Not and lived to tell about it," I warned him. He put his arms up in surrender.
"Okay, okay. I guess I'll have to spend the day with you," he said in mock disappointment, and I glared at him.
"You're kind of hot when you're violent, you know that?" he said and pulled me back into his arms. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend a whole day with then you, baby," he said, his voice full of affection. I sighed and snuggled closer as he stretched his body across the sofa, and I laid my head on his chest. We settled into comfortable silence as we watched TV again for a while. Eventually, we both fell asleep.
I woke up later to the sound of Jensen's steady heartbeat in my ear, and I raised my head to find him fast asleep. I stared at him in wonder. How did I get this lucky? This gorgeous sweet man loved me. His face was relaxed in sleep, and I admired his flawless cheekbones and perfect lips in the dim light from a nearby lamp. I crawled higher up his body and pressed a kiss to them. He responded with a low hum, his lips moving slowly against mine.
"Wake up, baby," I said to him. "It's late and we should go to bed."
"I don't wanna," he mumbled, his lips starting to turn up into a grin.
"I bet there'll be a naked girl in your bed," I said salaciously.
"Well, if you put it that way." He opened his eyes and looked at me. The sleepy sensuality in them made my heart beat faster. He kissed me, and a jolt of need pulsed out from my core. He stood up, carried me across the room, and onto the stairs.
"Are you ever going to let me go up these stairs on my own two feet?" I asked him with a laugh.
"Nope," he replied. "I have a caveman fetish, be happy I'm not dragging you up them by your hair."
"Caveman? I was thinking more like a Prince Charming fetish." I giggled.
"Prince Charming would never be this good in bed, baby." His answering smirk was in opposition to the searing lust that suddenly appeared in his eyes.
"Or humble, apparently," I said with a smile.
"Do you have any complaints?" he asked as he crossed the threshold into his room.
"Nope," I said as he set me down on the bed.
"That's what I thought. Now take off your shirt." His voice made my insides clench as it lowered into the low sexual tone that I adored. I couldn't get my shirt off fast enough. He grabbed my ankles and yanked me toward him until my ass was practically hanging off the edge of the mattress, my legs straight up in the air and resting against his torso. He gripped my panties in his hands then pulled them roughly up my legs and threw them aside with a growl. I gasped at how rough he was being, loving it completely; a caveman fetish, indeed. He pushed his pants down and began rubbing the head of his cock against my already wet opening. I whined with need as he teased me, sending sweet shocks of desire coursing through my entire body
.
"Do you want my cock, baby?" he asked me, his eyes locked on mine and filled with barely restrained lust. "Tell me how bad you want it."
"Oh, God, I want you so bad, Jensen," I moaned. "I need your cock inside me."
He crossed my ankles on the left side of his chest, wrapped his arms around my legs, and then thrust suddenly into me with a groan that I could feel vibrate through my lower legs. His cock hit a spot deep inside me that made me gasp in sudden pleasure. He slammed into me repeatedly again, hitting that sweet spot every time. My orgasm built swiftly, and I could feel my body tensing for my release.
"Come now," he said and pure pleasure spiraled out from my core and racing out to my limbs. I screamed his name as I flew up to the sky with my climax. He leaned over me and began pounding into me even harder. "Keep coming, baby. Don't stop," he growled as he made my climax linger on and on, until I was out of my mind, unsure of who I even was anymore. My body finally came back down, aftershocks still convulsing through me, and I caught my breath.
Then he did it time and again, each orgasm lasting longer than the last. By the time he got to the third one, I didn't think I could take it any longer. I felt like I was being pulled apart from my own head, like it was some sort of out of body experience.
"Please, please, no more," I mumbled between screams of overwhelming pleasure.
"One more, baby," he said with a groan. "One more." I started shaking my head in denial, but I started coming again, and I couldn't stop it, didn't want to stop it. My mind seemed to splinter apart and then slam back together again, my incoherent scream sounding like someone else's voice. I was vaguely aware of Jensen groaning and gripping my legs tighter against him as he climaxed right after me. The aftershocks spasming the walls inside me around him, his cock jerking as he came violently inside me. "Holy fuck!" he cried as he panted for air after it was over. He put one hand down on the mattress to keep from collapsing.
"Yeah," I mumbled in disbelief as I panted along with him. "Holy fuck."
A deep rumbling laugh escaped his mouth as he pulled out of me and rolled me onto my side. He pushed me further onto the bed and crawled in beside me to spoon me against his chest. He pulled the blankets up over us and hugged me tighter.
"Let's see Prince Charming pull off that shit," he growled into my ear.
"Prince who?" I asked him with a smile.
"Good answer," he mumbled. When our breathing finally slowed down I spoke again.
"Aren't you going to clean us up?" I asked curiously.
"Honestly, I'm not sure I can even stand up right now," he said with a laugh.
"Fuck it, let's just go to sleep," I said as my brain started shutting down.
"And you call me a potty mouth. I must be rubbing off on you." He snorted with laughter.
"You can rub whatever you want on me," I mumbled with a smile.
His deep sexy laugh was the last thing I remember before sleep overtook me.
Something woke me up. My eyes opened in the dark, and I listened. I heard nothing, and my brain started drifting back into sleep. A low moan came from my left, and I turned toward the sound. I was lying on my back in Jensen's bed, and he was on his side with his back to me. He was curled in an almost fetal position. Another long painful moan came from his direction, and his body tensed as it tried to fold in on itself.
"No..." he mumbled. "No, no, no."
I sat up abruptly and rolled toward him, placing my right hand on his back.
"Jensen?" I asked softly, but he didn't respond.
"Jordan...don't die," he suddenly sobbed. "Please don't die."
Shit, it was another nightmare. I pressed my body against his back and tried to soothe him with gentle hands as I caressed his back and shoulder.
"Shh...I'm here. You're okay," I whispered to him, but the sobs wouldn't stop, and he tried to move away from me as his body curled into itself even tighter.
"There's so much blood," he said. "So much."
"Baby, wake up," I spoke more urgently this time. God, his painful sobs were breaking my heart.
"It's my fault, my fault you're dead."
"Jensen!" I practically shouted. I grabbed his shoulder and turned his body toward me. His face was twisted into an expression of pure agony; his eyes squeezed shut. "Wake up, baby, please."
His eyes fluttered several times before they finally stayed open. He stared at me unseeing and still sobbing in horrible pain until recognition filled his eyes.
"Help me," he sobbed. "Please, help me Sydney. It hurts so bad." His eyes pierced into mine, the pain in them devastating with its intensity. I felt my own tears start spilling down my face as I wrapped my arms around him.
"I'm here, Jensen. I'm here," I whispered and started pressing kisses to his face. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, and he buried his face in my neck.
"Help me," he whispered between panting sobs.
"Shh," I soothed him. I clutched him against me in desperation as he suffered in my arms. All I could think to do was hold him as the sobs wracked his body, wishing I could take the pain away from him. God, I felt helpless.
"I love you, baby," I whispered. "I love you, and you're safe here with me." For some reason, those words seemed to help him. I felt him sigh, and some of the tension in his body started to relax, so I started repeatedly telling him I loved him. Eventually, the sobs stopped, and his body relaxed on the bed. His arms went limp as he fell back into sleep. I leaned over him, and watched his face relax as his breathing became even and steady again. I caressed the side of his face as my own tears continued to fall down my cheeks.
When I was sure that he was really sleeping, I sat up on the bed and pulled my knees up to rest my chin on one of them. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rocked back and forth, trying to comfort myself. I knew what was wrong with Jensen now. All the pieces fell into place in my head. The signs had been there all along, if I had only bothered to pay attention.
He refused to talk about anything to do with the accident, or his brother and father. There was the angry outburst with his sister-in-law and his withdrawn and shutdown behavior at his mother's house. The nightmares, and the guilt and shame he had during them. The untouched guitars that he obviously hadn't played in months. I suspected now that he must have been having a flashback the other day when I had found him sitting in the hall outside my apartment, and it had taken several attempts to rouse him out of it. I knew all these symptoms well, because I had suffered through all of them myself. Jensen had PTSD and now I didn't know what the fuck to do.
He needed help, but I didn't know if he would admit to himself that he needed it. He hid it so well. He seemed so strong that if it weren't for the nightmares that I had witnessed, I'm not sure I would suspect anything at all right now. Did he realize how broken he was? It was astounding that he was even capable of the emotional connection that we had had in the last few days. Now I understood why he was so surprised that I loved him. He didn't think he deserved to be loved.
I sat on the bed like that the rest of the night, wondering what to do until the first light of morning began filling the room. I was distracted from my dark thoughts by the faint sound of a phone ringing. It wasn't my ring tone, so I assumed it was Jensen's phone down in the living room. Jensen didn't seem to be bothered by it as he continued to sleep soundly next to me, so I ignored it. The ringing stopped and had probably gone to voice mail, but a few moments later it started ringing again, then again, after that. Shit, it must be something important. With a sigh a reached over and touched Jensen's shoulder and shook it gently.
"Jensen," I said. "Wake up, baby." He startled awake with a confused look on his face.
"Sydney?" he mumbled sleepily. "What do you need, baby?"
"Your phone keeps ringing downstairs," I told him.
"What time is it?" he asked still looking confused.
"I'm not sure."
He sat up and started running his hands through his hair as he tried to wake up the rest of
the way. "I'm so fucking tired," he mumbled under his breath. I wondered if he even remembered what happened a few hours ago. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to or not. He swung his legs over the side of the bed as his phone started ringing again. He stood and hurried out of the room and down the stairs. A few moments later, the ringing abruptly stopped.
"Hey." Jensen's voice came from the living room. There was a long moment of silence before he spoke again.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" His voice rose in sudden anger. Another moment passed as whoever was on the line spoke.
"How bad is the damage?" The suppressed rage in Jensen's deep voice was startling in its intensity. There was another long silence.
"Do you need me to come in right now?"
What the hell was going on? I sat wide eyed, staring at the doorway to the stairs.
"Okay, but I'll probably stop by later to see for myself. I'll see you soon." There was a long moment of silence once more, and I was starting to wonder if he was alright. Then a heard his rage filled voice again.
"Motherfucker!" I heard a loud thump that shook the walls, followed by three more punctuated by a shouted "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" A moment later, I could hear Jensen striding up the stairs. He stormed into the bedroom and the rage flashing in his green eyes made me shrink back unconsciously. I'd never seen him this angry before.
"What happened?" I asked quietly, almost afraid to find out.
"My work site was fucking vandalized last night!" he growled angrily as he paced around the room.
"Oh my God," I whispered in shock. "Is it bad?"
"Bad enough," he seethed. "All those man hours wasted, and it'll take fucking weeks to get back on schedule." He began running his hand through his hair again. "Not to mention the lost time while the police investigate the site. Son of a bitch!"
Realization hit me like fist. "It was Clay, wasn't it?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
"Probably," Jensen said. "What the fuck is wrong with that asshole? Is he too much of a fucking coward just to come after me himself?" Jensen continued pacing around the room, cursing. He wasn't calming down, and I was starting to get worried.
Let Me Love You: Beautifully Broken Book 1 Page 20
