“So, you want to play tough, huh? I’ll show you which one of us is tough, Nokea. It damn sure isn’t you.”
Travis lifted me up high, slamming me on the floor, then the bed. By now, I had no more fight left in me. He dove on top of me, ripping my bloody pajama top away from my body. It was so banged up, sore and bruised from what I could see. But that didn’t matter to Travis. He wanted more, and when his dick entered me, I just . . . just laid there, staring at the ceiling that looked as if it was caving in on me. My staggering cries and dry vagina angered him even more.
“This is fucking ridiculous!”
He pulled out of me and walked over to my dresser drawer, yanking it open. He found a picture of Jaylin then reached for lotion that was on top of the dresser. He rushed back to the bed, laying over me again. This time, he squeezed nearly the whole bottle of lotion between my legs and covered his dick with the rest. He put Jaylin’s photo in front of me, forcing me to look at it.
“Here you go, Nokea. This is who you want, right? Think about him fucking you, instead of me. I’m sure your thoughts of him can get you wet, can’t they?”
He slapped Jaylin’s photo on my face, holding it there as he inserted himself again. I tried to push him away, but so much pain was rushing through my body that I couldn’t do much. All I saw was Jaylin’s picture in front of my face. He stared at me, I stared at him. I prayed that Travis’ hang-up call would prompt Jaylin to head this way. But after being tortured by Travis for this long, I knew that Jaylin had honored my wishes and had given me my space.
“With that look on your face,” Travis said, pulling out of me again. He crumbled the picture in his hand and threw it on the floor. “I can tell you’re thinking about him. And since you are, why don’t we call him. Let’s call to wish him a Happy Birthday, alright?”
Travis reached for my cell phone, turned it back on and called Jaylin. I laid there hoping he would answer as Travis put phone on speakerphone. Unfortunately, Jaylin’s voicemail came on. And after the beep, Travis threatened to kill me if I didn’t sing with him.
“Yo, Jaylin!” he yelled into the phone. “Listen up, you punk ass bitch. Nokea and I want to sing Happy Birthday to you. We’ve been practicing all night, and I think we’re good now.” Travis started to sing, but when I didn’t, he grabbed my neck and yelled for me to sit up. “Sing,” he shouted. “This ho over here tripping, but she probably can’t speak because I done tried my best to knock out every last one of her fucking teeth! She still should be able to sing, though, can’t you, baby? Sing now or sing while you’re six-feet under.”
I lowered my face into my hands, covering it as I tried to sing along with Travis. My words were near a whisper. “Ha—happy bir—birthday to you. Hap—py—” I paused then screamed for Jaylin to come help me. Travis hit the end button, and all I remember after that was another blow to my head.
Morning came, and with my curtains wide open, bright sunrays lit up the bedroom. Travis was kneeling beside the bed, holding my hand as I laid there unable to move. I was numb. Felt like I had died and was in another world. Wished it was a dream, and I kept asking myself . . . what had I done to deserve this? Travis’ head was resting on my sore arm. His cries were loud, snot drizzled from his nose. He apologized over and over again, begging and pleading for me to forgive him.
“Baby, please,” he shouted and pounded his fist on the bed. “I . . . I was drunk and I totally lost control. I never meant to hurt you like this, Nokea, you know this isn’t me. I promise you that I will never do anything like this again. I’m going to get help. Today, okay?”
I didn’t say, couldn’t say, one word. My face was stiff and swollen, as well as my lips. From the vision in one eye, I could see dried blood on my face. My body had never experienced this much damage, and with so much wetness and stickiness between my legs, I wasn’t sure if I was bleeding or not. Travis raised his head to look at me. His face was covered with sweat and tears. Eyes were fiery red. Hands trembled as he touched my forehead, gently rubbing my hair.
“Say something to me,” he pleaded. “I love you, and I need to hear you say that you love me too. Help me get through this, my love, please help me. All I need is for you to be there for me, and everything will be okay. You, me and the baby.”
His eyes shifted to my stomach. He lowered his shaking hand, felt my stomach and released a loud, deafening cry that caused him to quiver more.
“You . . . You need a doctor. Let me get you to a doctor, so stay right there and don’t move.”
Travis stood and stumbled backward while looking at me. Tears ran from the corners of my eyes, my head throbbed so badly. He bent over, placing his lips on mine. I was sure they felt like stone to him because I didn’t reciprocate. He gave me two quick pecks then headed to the door. He turned around, before exiting.
“You just don’t know how sorry I am for this. Please forgive me, okay? I’m going to go get you some help, so wait right here until I get back.”
He rushed out of the room, and the second I heard the door close, I struggled to get up. When I lifted my head, I felt nothing but pressure. My body was real stiff and blood was all over me, as well as on the sheets. I didn’t know if I had miscarried or not, but the pain was unbearable. I wasn’t sure where my phone was, but as I turned in bed to look for it, I wound up crawling to the floor. I rolled on my back, gazed at the ceiling, and released a thunderous scream to release my hurt and frustrations.
JAYLIN
For whatever reason, I couldn’t get a lick of sleep last night. I had too much on my mind, pertaining to business and Nokea. I was furious about being hung up on, and just as I got in my car to drive the fuck over there, I changed my mind. I didn’t appreciate how funny acting she had been. She was coming off as being fake. She had never been like this before, and she had to know how concerned I was about her. There was no way in hell for me not to be concerned about her, especially after all that had happened. I knew how difficult it was for her to lose her father, and I wanted to find out how her mother had been doing too.
Since Nokea didn’t want to talk, I rolled over in bed at six in the morning to call her mother. She was wide awake and was happy to hear my voice.
“I’m doing as well as I’m going to get, Jaylin. I sure do miss my husband, and this old house will never be the same. Nokea wants me to move to Florida with her. I don’t know because I’m so attached to this house. If I leave, it’ll be like leaving the love of my life behind. I surely don’t want to do that, but I also don’t want my child to worry so much. I’m deeply concerned about her, Jaylin. She just didn’t seem like herself. She and Travis were arguing a lot, and I hate to say this, but there is something about him that rubs me the wrong way.”
“Same here, but Nokea loves him. I’ve noticed a change in her too. When I question her about it, she tells me she’s okay.”
“I don’t care what that child of mine says. The only man she loves is you. Ju . . . Just keep an eye on her for me. If I decide to come there, I’ll let the two of you know.”
“We’d love to have you here, especially the kids. And this time, I think you may be wrong. Nokea doesn’t feel the same way about me anymore. I can feel it in my heart, but you know I’m not going to give up on us.”
“Please don’t. Thanks for calling to check on me, and when you see Nokea, give her a big hug and tell her I said to be nice to you.”
I laughed, before telling her goodbye and ending the call. My thoughts turned to Nokea again. I wasn’t sure if she was heading to work this morning or not, but I was dying to find out why our call ended so abruptly. I tapped my phone against my hand, and when I got ready to call Nokea, I saw that I had missed a call from her a few hours ago. I immediately called her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t leave a message, but as I hung up to listen to her message, Nanny B buzzed me on the intercom.
“Jaylin, will you come downstairs and open this jar of jelly for me? I may need a hammer, if you can’t pry it open
.”
“I’ll be there in a minute. Are the kids up yet?”
“Of course. Don’t you hear them?”
Actually, I didn’t, but I laid my phone on the bed and left my room to go open the jar of jelly. After that task was done, I showered, put on some clothes and decided to drive by Nokea’s house to see what was up. If she wasn’t there, I intended to go to her shop where I was positive she would be.
I arrived at Nokea’s place almost forty-five minutes later. I was surprised that the door was unlocked, but just in case she and Travis were in the bedroom getting busy, I knocked and waited for someone to come to the door. No one answered, so I pushed on the door and went inside. Instantly, something eerie came over me. Broken glass was all over the floor, a few items were strewn here and there, a golf club was on the couch and there was a hole in the wall by the door. I could tell there had been some kind of scuffle.
“Nokea!” I shouted as my stomach felt tied in knots. My heartrate started to pick up speed. I rushed down the hallway, and when I got to her bedroom, my heart slammed against my chest. I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at the fresh blood smeared on the floor and on the messy sheets. My thoughts were spinning so fast that I couldn’t even think straight. I panicked as I sprinted over to the bed, examining the blood-stained sheets and snatching them off the bed. A crumbled picture of me fell on the floor; I picked it up to look at it. My hands shook as I held it, and as sickening thoughts flooded my mind, I shouted again.
“Nokea! Are you here?”
There was no answer. Feeling myself on the verge of an anxiety attack, I dashed through her condo, calling her name and searching for her.
“Baby, where are you?” I said, busting into the other rooms. I rubbed my aching chest while traveling from one room to the next. “God, please, no, daaaamn, no!”
With clenched fists, I tried to invade my negative thoughts of something horrific happening to her. My thoughts became more realistic when I saw a bloody handprint on the wall in the hallway. I stared at it with tears at the rims of my eyes that were without a blink. There was no denying that something tragic had happened, and all I could do in the moment was lash out and punch the wall in front of me. A gaping hole appeared, causing a picture on the wall to crash to the floor.
“Damn, baby, daaaaamn!” I hollered and spun around in circles with my hands locked behind my head. What knocked me out of the zone I was in were whimpering sounds coming from the closet in her bedroom. I hurried to it, and when I yanked on the door, I gasped to catch my next breath. Nokea was crouched in the corner with a gun in her hand. She aimed it at me; I quickly jumped to the side in fear of being shot.
“It’s me,” I shouted and was in complete, utter shock by what my eyes had witnessed. “Don’t shoot!”
“Jaaaaaylin,” she cried out in agony. That was when I heard a loud thud; I knew she had dropped the gun.
I hurried into the closet, filled with so much grief as I examined her face and naked body close up. Seeing her like this was un-fucking believable; I almost didn’t recognize her. The swelling was so severe. Bruises were everywhere on her body, as well as blood. With tears in my eyes, I snatched her into my arms, holding her close to my chest. I didn’t know how severe her injuries were, but I knew that I needed to get her to a hospital fast.
“I’m here, baby,” I said, rocking her in my tight arms that calmed her quivering body. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Ca . . . Can you move?”
She didn’t respond. I backed away from her, struggling to look at her face that made more tears slip from my eyes. The lump in my throat was stuck, and as I lifted her from the floor, my legs were almost too weak to carry her. I carried her over to the bed, before rushing to a linen closet to get a clean sheet to cover her. After I got the sheet, I covered her battered body, lifting her again. She wrapped her very weak arms around my neck.
“Tell me where it hurts,” I said while carrying her as fast as I could down the hall and out the door. “Can you tell me where you’re hurting?”
“All over,” she mumbled through her cries.
I took the stairs, nearly tumbling down them as I moved so fast. The security guard at the door questioned what was going on, but I breezed past him and didn’t bother to respond.
“Jaylin,” he shouted after me. “Is she okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?”
An ambulance wouldn’t get here fast enough, so I hurried Nokea to my car. I dropped the seat back, strapped her in on the passenger’s side, and then got in the car too. I sped away, eager to unleash hell on somebody. This was an out-of-body experience; I kept speaking to myself out loudly about this being a dream, about hurting somebody . . . asking why. So many questions flooded my mind, but I wasn’t sure if Nokea was in any condition to answer them. I reached for her hand, squeezing it with mine as she lay next to me with her eyes closed.
“Wake up, baby.” I was full of emotions; my devious thoughts were dangerous. “Tell me what happened to you. Who did this to you?”
She whimpered and held her shuddering stomach that moved in and out as she tried to catch her breath. “I’m tired, Jaylin. Tired of being in all this paaaaain. It hurts so bad I . . . I just want to die right now.”
Frustrated, I hit the steering wheel and moved my head from side-to-side. “Please don’t say that. You can’t die and you won’t! Just chill and tell me exactly what happened? Did Travis do this to you or someone else?”
Nokea sobbed so badly, I could barely decipher her words. And with her mouth swollen, I knew it was difficult for her to speak. I squeezed her hand again, letting her know that everything would be okay.
“You don’t have to talk right now. Whenever you’re ready, alright?”
She removed her hand from my grip and covered her face. Her cries became louder. “Travis hurt me. He hurt the baby, too, and I don’t want to do this anymore, Jaylin. I just want to go be with my father, because I’m sick of people hurting me. Wha . . . What am I’m doing to deserve this? I’ve given every relationship I’ve been in my all, and . . . and look what keeps happening to me.”
Her words caused more tears to fill my eyes; I wanted to pull over to gather myself. Instead, I blinked to clear my eyes and pressed hard on the accelerator so I could get to the hospital sooner. I knew she was speaking about being hurt by men, me in particular. Saying I was sorry just wasn’t enough, but I said it anyway.
“We . . . Men do some real fucked up shit sometimes, and I am so sorry for putting you through what I did. You never deserved any of it and you will never have to hurt again—I will let no one hurt you again. So you can’t go be with your father because you have to stay with me. With me and the kids, okay? So stop talking like that. I love you so much, so you can’t be saying things like that, alright?”
Nokea didn’t respond. I kept taking my eyes off the road to look at her, and with every glance, I sunk to a level I had never been. I kept checking her pulse to make sure it was still there. She was so out of it. She kept mumbling, and much of what she said I didn’t understand. I did, however, understand that Travis had done this. That angered me to the core of my soul.
“Stay with me, baby.” I rubbed my hand up and down her arm. “Talk to me and tell me something good.”
My eyes shifted to the rearview mirror so I could check my surroundings. Several cars hammered their horns because of the way I swerved in and out of traffic. One lady spewed that I was an ignorant bastard. I couldn’t even entertain her foolishness right now. The white parts of my eyes were fiery red, and mixed with gray, I looked like a demon. I continued to breeze through traffic like a maniac, and it was a good thing there were no cops around. Regardless, I wasn’t about to stop, until I reached my destination.
“I can’t hear you, sweetheart. Let’s talk and tell me something real good.”
“I . . . I don’t know anything good right now. It hurts, Jaylin, why is there so much pain?”
“Try not to think about the pain. Think about me
and you.” I squeezed her hand then brought it to my lips to kiss it. “Us, okay? Can you think about us?”
I glanced at her, she slowly nodded.
“Good. That’s my girl. Hang on because we’re almost there.”
Nokea’s head was slumped to the side. And as my car zoomed down the street, her head shifted from left to right. She mumbled again, but I was so out of it that I didn’t understand what she was saying. All I could think about was killing Travis. There was no way in hell that he was going to live to see another day.
We bounced around in my car, after I hit a curb that was in front of the hospital. And just as I got ready to drive up to the emergency entrance, an ambulance speeding in the same direction as me sideswiped my Maybach, causing a huge dent on the left side. I didn’t give a damn. I hopped out of the car, hurrying to get Nokea out of it. The ambulance driver was out of his vehicle, apologizing and telling me he would help.
“Let me go inside to get her a wheelchair? What happened to her?”
I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t have time to wait for a wheelchair. I rushed her inside, telling the first nurse I saw at the counter I needed some help. Within seconds, a nurse and a doctor charged my way with a gurney. They helped me lay Nokea on it, and when they looked at her face, their faces showed shock.
“What happened?” The doctor asked, feeling for her pulse.
I wasn’t sure if Nokea was going to say anything about Travis, but knowing what I was about to do, I had to lie.
“She walked in on an intruder who was breaking in. I’m not sure when it happened, but I found her in this condition this morning.”
“Who are you?” he asked while touching Nokea’s arms and legs to see if anything was broken.
Jaylin Page 20
