“Naw, I’m not really hungry. I just want to stay here, until he comes. Besides, I don’t want to be away from Nokea for too long. She jumped a few times in her sleep last night. I’m real worried about her. If only you can see what he did to her. I’m sick to my fucking stomach.”
“I don’t want to see. I’m sure it’s bad. I told Tiffanie about it last night; she was in tears. I can’t imagine a man doing that to a woman. What made him that mad, where he felt like he had to do something like that?”
“He was upset about how close we were. And I don’t care who Nokea and me are in relationships with, when certain situations happen in our lives, we always find our way back to each other. There’s a level of comfort that is needed during those times. The only way to heal is if we have each other. As for her condition, Dr. Birch said she’ll be okay. He wrote her a prescription for pain and swelling. Said he’d be back in a couple of days to check on her. I just hope she comes out of this okay. Travis was a monster. There was something so devious in his eyes when I saw him. He got a kick out of that shit for sure.” With one hand in my pocket, I walked over to the window and looked outside. “It was something I should have noticed, and something I can’t help but to wonder if Nokea knew was there. Maybe she ignored the signs, because she was so adamant about making things work. I mean, had he hit her before? Did she hate me so much that she was willing to accept whatever he dished out? She had to feel something negative about him. I can’t believe that, out of nowhere, he just snapped and did that to her.”
“I can believe he snapped. We all can snap, just like that.” Shane snapped his fingers. “Even the kindest person can do it, and when certain things trouble you, and you find yourself in a situation where you have to protect the people you care about, your mind start racing. Before you know it, you’ve done something that you may have done before, but you told yourself you’d never do it again. I won’t say much else, but I can promise you this, though. Travis wasn’t laughing in his final moments. I’m sure he expressed his regrets to the killer, before he pulled the trigger.”
I slowly turned my head, looking at Shane who stared at me with a blank expression on his face. Mine was scrunched—I was in a state of shock by what he’d said. “Ar . . . Are you saying to me what I think you’re saying?”
“What I’m saying to you is, there are certain things that a best friend should never know. Every man has secrets, and pertaining to murder, sometimes, silence is golden.”
I stood as if cement had been poured over me. I continued to examine him—I had no words right now. My mind traveled back to yesterday. I started thinking about some of the things he’d said. There was nothing that led me to believe he was thinking about doing what I set out to do. Then, the delay in traffic. He had every opportunity to get to the hospital before me, if he’d taken a different route. And who in the hell would suspect Shane? I was the obvious one, not him. I wanted to hit him with many more questions about this, especially about why the other two doctors were shot. Maybe to throw people off, but whatever the reason was, Shane was right. Silence was golden. This was one secret that would go no further. I owed him my motherfucking life.
Everything wrapped up around six o’clock that evening. All the police said was an investigation was ongoing, and they would be in touch if anything came up. I refused to let Shane go to the police station with me; Frick and I were the only ones there. For the most part, I was satisfied with how things had turned out. Frick wasn’t happy, but after I wrote his ass a fat check, he got on the plane with a wide smile on his face. I returned home. The second I entered the house, Nanny B snatched me into her bedroom. She was highly upset with me.
“Listen to me, you high-yellow Negro. I will not be ignored by you. I talked to Nokea, and how dare you not tell me what Travis did to her?” I had rarely ever seen Nanny B cry. To see tears rolling down her face wasn’t a good feeling. “Why did Travis do that to her, Jaylin? And what in the hell did you do to him? Please don’t tell me you killed him. Please, Jaylin, don’t tell me you did something like that. If you did, Lord have mercy on us all.”
I gave Nanny B a hug to calm her. “I didn’t kill him, but I had every intention to. I don’t know what caused him to snap like that, but it doesn’t matter because he shouldn’t have done that to her. Nokea isn’t saying much, but when she’s ready I’m sure she’ll talk more about it. I left the police station earlier, and, hopefully, I’ve cleared my name. I have no idea who killed Travis. There’s an investigation going on. I didn’t pay anyone to do it, and that is the truth.”
Nanny B squeezed me tighter. I hated to lie to her, but there were certain things that even she didn’t need to know. She backed away from me, wiping her wet face.
“Since Scorpio is taking the kids to Belize, I’m going back to St. Louis to spend some time with Gloria and my sister. While you’re here, see about Nokea. She really needs you. Don’t make her feel guilty about being with Travis and try to be more understanding. You’ve been so crabby, and you need to stop fussing about things that don’t even matter, like soda. I’m grown and you will not tell me what I can and can’t give my babies. That’s all to it, and like it or not, your gripes go in one ear, out the other.”
“Look, I’m the nicest man you know. I’m a pretty damn good father too. But if you continue to go against my wishes you will get cussed out. You can ignore me all you want to. There will come a time when I may have to utilize my belt. Not on Justin, but on you for not listening.”
She threw her hand back at me and laughed. “You will need more than a belt to deal with me. Now gon’ upstairs to see about Nokea. I think she’s still up. She just got finished eating a little something. Did you eat anything yet?”
I told Nanny B I would eat later, and then I went to my bedroom. The doors to the balcony were wide open. Nokea was sitting outside, gazing at the ocean. I stood in the doorway, leaning against it.
“Peaceful, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Very much so. I forgot how beautiful the view is out here.”
“I’m surprised that you forgot, especially since we spent so many days and nights out here.”
“For many reasons, I forced myself to forget.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to tell me what those reasons are. And then, I have so much that I need to tell you too. For now, I’m going to get out of these clothes, get something to eat then come back and chill with you, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine. Before you go eat, I want to apologize for getting angry at you about Travis. I know that seeing me like this is difficult for you, and I know how you prefer to deal with things on your own terms. That’s just who you are, and so many years later, it makes no sense for me to gripe about the way you react to certain things.”
“I agree, but we’ll talk more later. Can I bring you anything when I come back?”
“Maybe some popcorn and a deck of cards. I also need my cell phone so I can check my messages. It’s at my place, but I don’t want to go back there again.”
“I’ll go by there tomorrow and get it. And you don’t have to go back there, unless you want to.”
Nokea sat silent. I went to my closet, changed clothes, and while in my office, I got down on two seasoned pork chops Nanny B had made. I talked to Shane for about thirty minutes, following up on how things had gone at the police station. Frick also called to tell me that my stop at the gas station saved my ass. The cameras showed I was there, almost at the same time Travis was killed by the person in the video. The clerk also vouched for me. I told Shane about that, and I also told him I needed to take a short break from business. He understood why, and he didn’t elaborate on Travis’ killing or the video because smart people involved in shit like that didn’t go around bragging about it or discussing it.
“Go all in, my brotha,” he advised. “See about Nokea and focus on nothing but her. I’ll handle things in your absence, as I have done plenty of times before. Besides, I tend to make more money when you take a
back seat anyway.”
I had to laugh. “Shane, don’t fool yourself. If it wasn’t for me, you would still be in business with Felicia, catching pure deep hell. If not that, you’d be somewhere on an island, still professing your love for Scorpio and broke as hell.”
This time, he laughed. “Yeah, you did save me. I don’t mind giving credit when it’s due. But I do mind how long this conversation is going on. Tiffanie and I are going dancing tonight. She signed us up for Salsa classes that have been kind of fun. I think we may be ready for Dancing with the Stars soon.”
“That would not be good, and on that note, I’ll holla tomorrow. Be sure to tell Tiffanie not to let you break a leg.”
We ended the call with laughter. It felt good to laugh. I couldn’t help but to think about what Nanny B had said earlier—what many people close to me had been saying all along. I needed to release some of my anger inside, stop being so serious all the time and laugh a little. It was good for my soul. Hopefully, I would be able to do just that, now that Nokea and I were in a position to do us again.
By the time I returned to the bedroom, she was back in bed. Her back was against the headboard that touched the ceiling. A magazine was on her lap, and unfortunately, it was a pornographic magazine that had been in my drawer for a long time.
“I got bored,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “But I didn’t think you still had this kind of stuff lying around. Why not utilize the internet? There’s plenty on the net for you to see, isn’t there?”
After putting the popcorn and cards on the nightstand, I lay sideways across the bottom of the bed.
“If you really must know why that magazine was in my drawer, I’ll tell you. Your curious, precious son had it. I removed it from his room.”
Nokea rejected my explanation. “Don’t you dare lie on him like that. If it was in his room, where did he get it from?”
“It had been in a drawer in my office for a long time. LJ be going through my things. I guess he found it.”
“If that’s the case, you really need to have a talk with your son. He shouldn’t be looking at stuff like this. Lord knows it’s too soon for all of that.”
I reached for the magazine, taking it from Nokea’s hand. “You shouldn’t be looking at stuff like that either, and just so you know, we had a looong talk about that already. Some kids are more curious than others, but I guarantee you that he won’t be doing any of the things I was already doing at his age.”
“I hope not. I don’t even want to imagine it.” She held out her hand. “Now, give me back the magazine. I told you I was bored.”
“If you’re bored then let’s go do something. Tell me what you want to do and we’ll do it.”
“I’m still a bit weak so I can’t do much walking yet. But I did start on something interesting today.” Nokea opened the drawer, pulling out a piece of paper and pen. “I started working on my bucket list. Came up with several things I wanted to do, before I get too old or before I leave this earth.”
I wasn’t sure what made her create such a list, especially since she was nowhere near old. I also didn’t want to think about her leaving here, but I was interested in what was on her list.
“What are some of the things you came up with?”
“A few of them include you too, so I’ll let you read it.”
She gave the piece of paper to me. I studied it. The first thing I saw was a big fat no. “Bungee jump with Jaylin, go skiing, build a treehouse with the kids, climb to the top of a mountain with Jaylin, get a tattoo, run a marathon, meet the Obamas, jump from a helicopter, go to an NBA game, and enter a hotdog eating contest.” My eyes shifted to Nokea. “You couldn’t be serious.”
She snatched the paper from my hand. “I’m very serious. I have a lot more to add to my list. That’s only the beginning.”
“Well, leave me out of it because I won’t be doing any of that shit. The only thing I will help you do is build the kids a treehouse. That’s it.”
“You’re no fun, Jaylin. I guess I’ll have to tackle those things by myself then.”
“It’s your list and you should.”
We both laughed. After Nokea put her list back in the drawer, we got comfortable in bed and started watching a movie. I was all into it, before she interrupted me.
“I’m so angry at myself for falling in love with a man like Travis,” she said. “My poor judgment really hurt me a lot. I feel like such a fool for not knowing what he was capable of doing.”
“Well, it’s not like men like him go around with signs on their foreheads, saying: I’m a woman beater. But I can’t help but to wonder if you saw any signs from him that would’ve let you know what was up.”
“Not really, Jaylin. He raised his voice every now and then, but for the most part, Travis was kind, sweet and very charming. He started drinking heavy about a year ago, and then he’d bring you up and accuse me of still being with you. My father’s funeral seemed to trigger something in him. That was when I noticed a big change in him. It was like he was a different man. I was so shocked by what he did to me. It’s obvious that he had issues I didn’t know existed.”
“Yeah, people just don’t turn that way overnight. I bet if you had a heart-to-heart conversation with his mother, she could probably tell you an earful about her son.”
“Probably so. She’s a nice woman. I didn’t care too much for his brother, but I’m sure they’re suffering right now. I guess they’re probably wondering where I’m at, but I don’t have anything to say to them. I just want to move on and be done with it.”
“Sounds like a plan. Hopefully, the police will get to the bottom of what happened. They’ll be able to give his family the answers they’re looking for.”
Nokea nodded and released a deep breath. She reached for the aspirin and water on the nightstand. After she downed the aspirin, she moved closer to me, laying her head on my chest. Before she went to sleep, there was something that I needed to know.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“Will you be honest?”
“Always.”
“Did you fall out of love with me?”
Nokea hesitated to answer. She lifted her head to look at me. The sight of her bruised eye tore me up, as did her reply.
“Yes, I did. I was so upset with you after our divorce, and even though we continued to see each other, I was dying inside. I just didn’t feel the same anymore. When I met Travis, it was so easy for me to forget about us.”
I figured that was the case, but to finally hear her say it didn’t make me feel good. I planted a kiss over her eye and told her to get some rest. She laid her head on my chest again, and within minutes, she had fallen asleep. I, however, was wide awake. I couldn’t help but to think about the long road ahead of us. There was no telling how long it would be before Nokea fell back in love with me again. I damn sure had my work cut out for me. This time, there would be no fuck-ups.
NOKEA
A couple of weeks had passed and I was starting to feel better. The kids were on vacation with Scorpio, and Nanny B was back in St. Louis with my mother. In no way did I tell her what had happened. When she inquired about Travis, I told her we had gone our separate ways. I didn’t even tell her about him being killed. That was still a big mystery to me, and as I watched the video of the killer numerous times, to make sure it wasn’t Jaylin, I believed that he wasn’t the one. I kept thinking about who could’ve done it, but then I’d gotten to a point where it started not to matter. I was sad about the whole thing. Couldn’t believe it had come to this; I was just thankful to be alive.
Since everyone was away enjoying themselves, Jaylin and I were alone at his house. The swelling in my face and legs had gone down. My eye was open, bruises had started to fade. I still felt slightly weak, but Dr. Birch recommended some vitamins that gave me plenty of energy. Jaylin and I took slow walks on the beach nearly every morning. We worked out in the workout room and swam in the pool. This morni
ng, we were playing basketball. I was no good at it, and the only shots I made were when he lifted me on his shoulders so I could shoot at a high level. I threw the ball at the rim, it rolled right in.
“I told you I could beat you,” I cheered with my arms in the air. He squatted to lower me from his neck.
“If that’s how you want to see it, cool. But if you ask me, you cheated.”
“I don’t cheat, Mr. Rogers. I won that game fair and square. But now that we’re done with basketball, I’m ready to move on to bigger and better things that were on my bucket list. Are you ready to go bungee jumping with me today?”
Jaylin picked up the basketball, tucking it underneath his arm. “Listen, I have some rope somewhere around here and I’m sure we can find a high enough place to jump from, like the second floor. I’ll be happy to do that with you, but jumping off cliffs and from planes ain’t exactly my thing.”
“I know, and that’s what’ll make it so much fun. Besides, jumping from the second floor is more dangerous. There’s no way to secure the rope. We could seriously hurt ourselves.”
“No, we could seriously hurt ourselves bungee jumping. I’m not ready to die yet, so count me out. Now, if you would like to do it, I’ll go to watch you.”
“Okay, fine then. I’ll go and you can watch.”
Jaylin agreed. If he thought I was going to tackle this alone, he was crazy. I would beg him to do it with me. Deep down, I had a feeling he would change his mind.
After breakfast, I made reservations and we left. Jaylin had to stop by Shane’s house to drop off a package. When we got there, Shane was outside washing his convertible. His shirt was off, dreads were pulled back and his Nike shorts matched his shoes. He smiled as he saw Jaylin’s car pull in the driveway. Excited to see me, he came up to the car and bent over to kiss my cheek.
“What’s up, beautiful?” he said. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I’m almost there, Shane, and thanks for the compliment.”
Jaylin Page 24
