He said, “You have a quality of womanliness, of femininity, that is rare these days.”
She frowned a little. “Do you dislike women who have careers?”
“Nothing to do with that.” He smiled a little ruefully. “If I was a fiction writer, I’d have smooth phrases to explain why I find myself so relaxed and happy when I’m around you.”
“I understand,” she replied, relieved. “I feel the same. As if I don’t have to pretend or be on my best behavior. I can be myself with you.”
Bruce picked up her right hand and kissed the back of it softly. She shivered with delight, feeling a thread of electricity coursing through her body.
After dinner, still in a haze of happy discovery, they drove back to Bruce’s house. He invited her inside. She knew what he wanted. He didn’t bother making any excuses. He wanted her. Was she ready for this step?
They could continue talking and learn more about each other, but why stretch things out? Must she carefully weigh the merits of Bruce’s long-term intentions? Must she ponder her own? Why not go with her feelings and let the romantic evening end in lovemaking? Enjoy herself without considering lifelong plans? She wasn’t an ingénue anymore, even though Bruce had made her feel like one.
Yes, she was ready. She wasn’t interested in beating around the bush, either. It had been a long time.
They went upstairs to his bedroom. The lovemaking was swift and satisfying. There was no substitute for a real, live man. She was a little uncomfortable at first, but Bruce took care of her, and soon she was taking care of him. Still, she could sense each of them had held back. Their emotions, if they had them, were not on display. They made no confessions of love.
Afterwards, she lay next to Bruce and wondered silently what came next. So she asked him.
“More,” he said and drew her into his arms again. She went willingly.
Finally, it was late. “I have to get home,” she said.
Bruce helped her dress, kissing body parts as she covered them up. That was sweet.
“I wish you could stay,” he said. Perhaps he meant those words, but he didn’t try to convince her further when she shook her head in refusal.
She slipped into Dorothy’s house, which of course was unlocked, and found her mother had gone to bed but left a few lights on. She turned off all but one on the ground floor and went upstairs to her own room.
Then she lay in her bed, only a few dozen feet from Bruce, but with many walls between them. How strange. She’d had sex for the first time since her husband died, and she hadn’t felt a thing. Nothing. Oh, Bruce knew how to please a woman in bed. Somehow she’d lost the spark of excitement she’d had about him before. Even earlier today. Or rather, she had scratched the itch? Sex had been enough. Being comfortable with Bruce was enough. She would see him again, but romance didn’t have to be the biggest thing in her life, not as it had been when she was young.
What occupied her thoughts right now was the Chanel suit hanging on the door of her closet. It signaled an exciting new life direction for her. It symbolized danger, and risk, and trying to become a bigger person. Even though Bruce was new in her life, having sex with him, being his lover, was not an adventure on the same level.
Neither of them had spoken words of affection to tie each other to a commitment. Even if they had, she had no clue about how to integrate a new love and a new life. Of the two, the new life seemed the more important right now.
Which didn’t mean she would refuse to have sex with Bruce on her next visit. No vibrator was a satisfying substitute for a man, and she had enjoyed their time in bed. She had responded physically. That’s all it was. Sex. Not love. When she was younger, she had confused the two, but not anymore.
Their big date at the arboretum the next day was pleasant, but a letdown now they had become lovers. It had been planned as an opportunity to talk and get to know each other, but they’d already said all they needed to say. They cut it short and managed another hour in his bedroom. Bruce surprised her with some inventive and playful sex she enjoyed. Her body was satisfied but her emotions were no different. It was an empty emotional experience. Maybe that was a good thing. They had fun but nobody was likely to get hurt.
As before, she didn’t linger in bed with Bruce. She dressed and they said goodbye. Then she went next door to wrap up her visit and return to the city.
In line with the oddness of this short stay, she was feeling clingy about her mother. For the first time, Pam had the thought that moments with her mother were precious and limited. When she had packed her car and they were standing by it in the driveway, she said, “I’ll be back here soon, Mom.”
Dorothy radiated self-assurance as always. “To see me, or your young man next door?” her mother asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You, Mom. I’ll come back to see you.” She gave Dorothy an impulsive hug.
Dorothy looked surprised. As they let go, Dorothy stared at her searchingly, then smiled as if she was finally seeing something in Pam’s face she’d been hoping for and never saw before.
“You mean that, child.”
“I do,” she said solemnly.
“Then I’ll look forward to it.” Her mother patted her a little and then pushed her toward the car. “Get going now. You don’t want to hit the traffic.”
Chapter 19
Linley was at her desk when she got an excited call from her friend at NBC. “This is amazing considering the economy. We’ve received stacks of checks and envelopes with cash in them. All for your mom’s friend, this Magda. How do we get her the money?”
“I’ll call my mom and have her contact you.”
“Would you explain to her we can’t release the money to her? Only to Magda?”
Linley assented and then hinted she’d have some news about her own career soon. Her contact perked up her ears, begging to be the first to know. Excellent. A little more chitchat, and this contact would be someone she could count on to call her when the Today Show needed a substitute expert. It was a long shot, of course. They already had a batch of well-known people, but there would always be that holiday weekend or summer vacation week when Linley might be the only game in town. She made sure her contact knew she was free to be interviewed on financial topics at any time.
She should call all the other stations she’d been on, to ask if they’d received money for Magda. Any excuse to talk to her contacts and improve on them.
Three had. She’d have to call her mom. That could wait. Right now, she had a show in a few minutes with Jason and the guys. She downloaded a couple of charts to her laptop, and posted her notes on the desktop so she could easily refer to them.
She hoped Jason would have settled down from earlier today. The more she thought about it, the crazier he had behaved. Kissing her at ten-thirty in the morning? In the office? He didn’t show his emotions much so he must have kissed her because he was thrilled at getting the new show. That’s what his first kiss was all about, anyway. The rest were about sex. Yum. She was hungry for more of him. Too bad she was on a no-Jason diet.
The show went off smoothly. As she was packing up for the day, she realized no one had asked them why they had been in Marty’s office. Television stations were hotbeds of gossip. Someone would have seen them. Someone probably saw them in enter the file room, too. At least Jason had closed the door. She hoped she and Jason weren’t unconsciously beaming, telegraphing their secret. Or if they were, perhaps their coworkers would think the secret was only about the new show. Not about how hot they were for each other.
“Good night, Ernie,” she said, as she headed for the elevator.
“Wait up, Lin,” Jason called, as he sprinted down the hall carrying his leather messenger bag. She held the elevator door.
“Thanks.” He bolted inside as the doors closed.
They were alone in the elevator, as he quickly noticed with one comprehensive look. Without hesitation, he swooped her into his arms and planted an enthusiastic kiss on her lips. She felt his
warmth all over. She began to heat up.
He released her. “Great day today,” he smiled. The doors opened and he strode out, tossing words behind him. “See you tomorrow.”
Hit-and-run bastard. She’d need the girl equivalent of a cold shower now. He’d revved up her engines and then left her spinning her wheels.
Car analogies. Bah. She hauled out her cell phone and texted her longtime pal, Caitlin.
R U up 4 dinner
A few seconds later, she got a ping back.
Call me
“Whassup, girl?” Caitlin answered. She only texted when she was in meetings or on conference calls. Caitlin hated typing of any sort.
“Want to meet me at Dutch’s in five?” Linley asked.
“You’re upset about something. I can hear it in your voice.”
“You got that right. Coming?”
“Yup. Make it ten minutes.”
Caitlin worked nearby, farther up Sixth in one of the sterile, gleaming towers built by an oil company. Linley’s studio, closer to 42nd Street, looked about the same from the outside, all chrome and glass. It had been a famous cable entertainment headquarters years before. When she was a teenager she used to go there with her girlfriends, including Caitlin, and wait outside, hoping to see rock stars. Now an entire floor was rented to her cable news network. Ironic that a major network or its corporate overlord was willing to rent to anyone, especially its competition. Further proof that old-style television was losing out and the corporate owners were grasping for income wherever they could get it. Broadcast television was far from dead. It still had major hit shows watched by millions even though the many cable stations offered strong competition. She intended to get famous on television, although she didn’t much care in which kind, broadcast or cable. So far, she’d only worked for cable.
She was in the café section at Dutch’s restaurant and bar, seated in a booth when Caitlin came in. Her neat dark pants suit and pulled-back hair signaled she was a serious career woman.
“I didn’t order you anything. You still on the wagon?” Linley asked. In the past year, Caitlin had been frank about struggling with her drinking.
“For the moment. At least I haven’t had a binge in seven months.”
“You’re looking good.” Caitlin was back to looking ethereal and very Celtic. She’d lost that little alcohol pooch to her tummy. Linley complimented her new slenderness.
“Yeah, no more puffy face, either,” Caitlin said. She ordered a latte when the waitress came around.
“Or weird adventures in bed?”
Caitlin grimaced.
“Oh, come on. You have to admit it was funny to wake up with two completely strange guys in your bed and no memory of what happened,” Linley said.
“Har har. I never knew I was the threesome type until then.”
“If it wasn’t roofies.” Linley still thought it was hilarious. Although it had been tacky of her to bring it up. Maybe she ought to give it a rest.
“The truth is, when I’m drunk, I’m a slut,” Caitlin said. She shrugged.
“Not any more,” Linley raised her coffee cup in salute.
“Yesterday’s excitement. So tell me your news.”
Linley explained what had been going on, from beginning to end, leaving nothing out. By the end, Caitlin looked amused.
“Ambush kisses? That’s so cute.” She got a devilish look on her face. “Maybe next he’ll bring you flowers.”
“Or chocolates in a heart-shaped box,” Linley said to show she thought it was funny. Although she didn’t.
“Or…I know. A balloon bouquet.”
“No, no. An edible bouquet with chocolate-covered strawberries.” Linley was giggling by now.
“Or…a diamond engagement ring.” Suddenly, Caitlin was serious. “You wouldn’t laugh at a ring, would you?”
“No way would that happen,” she replied. “Jason is playing. He’s not serious. We don’t even have a relationship.”
“Forget the phony diffidence.” Caitlin could be hard line when she wanted to be. “You’ve already done the sex. He’s asked you out on a date. He even made a booty call, and now he’s kissing you whenever he feels like it.” She ticked off the incidents with her fingers. “I’d say at least one of you thinks you’re involved.”
“Maybe,” Linley admitted. Which was confusing because despite all her recent efforts to ensnare his interest, she kept waffling about how she felt about having it.
“How do you feel about Jason? I’ve seen the show, remember, I know he’s a prime hunk.”
“That’s the problem. I thought I knew.”
“What do you mean?”
“I guess I’ve succeed in getting Jason interested in me as a person. Now what do I do with him?”
Caitlin’s answer was pithy and obscene. Then she relented. “Oh, okay, serious answer. What do you want from Jason?”
“I’m not sure,” she replied. Why hadn’t she asked herself this before? “I know what I want in a man,” she continued. “I want someone who won’t get in my way. Who will help me get famous and let me enjoy every ounce of it. Who won’t be jealous when I hit the big time.”
“Fine, but will you get jealous if he does better than you? Because face it, girl, most of the time this is a man’s world and women are still supporting players.”
“Jason wants to be a major late night talk show host. A household name. My ambition isn’t quite that grandiose.”
“Why not?” Caitlin was logical when she was sober.
“Good question. Something to ponder.” Linley had never thought about her own ambition as limited. Not until she’d met Jason, who wanted to be even more famous and rich than she did. “My dreams are modest and conventional compared to his, aren’t they? No big leaps or twists in style. A straight shot up to have my own TV show and dispense good financial advice.”
“Don’t put yourself down. You want a lot, girlfriend. You want to win out over every other blonde clawing her way onto a TV screen.”
“That’s how I’ve been looking at it.” Linley sighed. “From Jason’s perspective, I want mere peanuts.”
“You can think about why some other time. Let’s get it back to the personal.” Caitlin sipped her latte. “Either you’ll be a power couple, or you won’t have time for anything but a convenience relationship. Which is only one step away from hooking up or booty calls.”
“Do I even want a boyfriend right now when I have to concentrate on not screwing up my big break? Then again, Jason might be the only man who’d understand and not get in my way.”
After dinner, Caitlin went to the evening knitting class that was part of her no-drinking regimen. Linley returned to her condo to collapse.
It had been a relief to talk it all out with someone who understood. Caitlin’s ambitions lay in a different sphere, but she sympathized with Linley’s determination to reach the top of the heap she’d chosen.
Pam would not relate to Linley’s ambitions at all. She would be confused by Linley’s drive to be a television success. Pam would get hung up on the sex part, wincing away from it, no doubt and pushing her toward convention and getting married. Maybe her grandmother would understand. Maybe not. She’d been a suburban warrior. She became a somebody without taking over a man’s role as a wage earner. Although she did invade offices to make her activist goals. There had been a sit-in at the mayor’s, for instance.
Once Linley was home and comfortable, she called her mother to report on the contributions the media outlets had received.
Pam got excited. “There’s money for Magda? Oh, wonderful. How do we get it to her?”
Linley relayed what her Today Show contact had said, which had been echoed by the other media outlets.
“Dear, do you know how much money it is? I don’t want to raise Magda’s hopes over small amounts. She needs a lot of cash to pay her son’s tuition.”
“No. The rep from the Today Show was pretty excited though. It’s likely to be in the hundreds o
f dollars at least.”
“What a godsend. We owe it all to you, Linley, for arranging the publicity. You have done a good thing, dear.”
She was surprised to feel a warm glow at her mother’s words. Since when did her mother’s praise matter to her? She quickly banished that thought and gave Pam details on how to contact the various media reps. Her mother’s voice turned uncertain, as it usually did. “Would it be all right if I tell them now about the foundation I’ve started? Or should I wait? Do you think there will be more donations? I do want to publicize the new foundation.”
“You actually went ahead with it?”
“I had to. Magda is very deserving, and there are so many other people who have suffered catastrophic job loss. I want to help everyone I can.”
“You’re beginning to sound like Grandma.”
“Is that good or bad? Oh, don’t answer. Anyway, I visited her lawyer and he’s filing all the paperwork for me.”
“Mo-om. You should have gone online to do it. There are companies that provide legal services cheaply.”
“Oh? You didn’t tell me before.”
“Yes.” When would her mother catch up with the twenty-first century? Probably never.
Pam said, “I guess I could have saved some money but I’m used to the personal touch, dear.”
“This is the cyber world, Mom. You’ve got to get with the program.” Her mother was so quaint. Sweet, really, but clueless about how the world had changed since she was young.
“Do I have to?” Her mother’s voice sounded wistful. “Human contact is so important. I wouldn’t want to lose it.”
That was unanswerable. Okay, enough time wasted with her mother. Except…maybe there was some publicity they could create over picking up the checks.
“Mom, I’ll arrange the Today Show pickup. Maybe they’ll want to do a minute on you and Magda receiving the checks. As a follow up.” Maybe with Linley coming on to explain the exclusive footage, which she would shoot herself with her iPhone if necessary. Yes, that would work nicely to give her more air time.
A Daughter's a Daughter Page 18
