by Eason, Mary
“Yes, I do.” And she did. She absolutely did.
*****
“Thanks so much for coming in early, Cara.” Lucy unlocked the door and held it open. “Whew, it’s really getting colder by the minute. The weatherman is saying we’re going to have a white New Year.”
When Lucy had called and asked her to come in early, Cara had just assumed there was a new clothing drop off that she needed help tagging and getting out on the shelves. But Lucy seemed nervous.
“No problem. Did something come in after I left yesterday?”
Lucy made a beeline for her special coffee blend. “No. I wanted to talk to you before we get busy.” She poured a cup of coffee. “You want some?”
“Sure, that’d be great.” Cara took the cup from Lucy. “So, what’s up?”
Lucy tested her coffee. “Um, good. How about we go into my office.”
Cara had never known Lucy to stall. This couldn’t be good. “Alright.”
Once Cara sat, Lucy did the same. “Sorry to be so vague. I would have told you before today, but we just received the final word. Okay, here’s the deal. We just found out Bob’s been promoted.” Lucy stopped for another sip of coffee and studied Cara for reaction.
It all sounded nice to Cara, she just didn’t see how it involved her. “That’s good news.”
“Oh, sorry, I guess I should tell you the rest. Yes, it is good news, but it looks as if we’ll be moving back to New York. At least temporarily.”
Nothing Cara could have imagined prepared her for hearing this news. “Oh…no. I mean, that’s great. I guess I don’t really know how to react. It’s just that I’ve come to consider you a friend. I’ll miss you.”
Lucy actually teared up at her reaction. “Aw, that’s so sweet. I feel the same way. It’s so difficult to think about leaving Cartwright. Even though it’s been a short time, we’ve come to consider this town as our home. It will be good for the family financially in the long-term anyway. It may end up that we’ll be back here within a year. Bob believes he can work from Cartwright even with the new promotion, but they’ve told him they need him back in New York by the end of January.”
“So soon? What about a place to live? Will you rent something in New York? Sell the house here…what?” Cara’s thoughts reeled. Would she need to look for another job soon? Although Resale Dreams wasn’t anything close to what she’d gotten her degree in, she actually enjoyed working there.
“Well, we still own the house in New York. We’ve been trying to sell it, but it’s taking forever. So we’ll move back there for now. My mother has agreed to stay with the girls until spring break, and then we’ll rent out the house here in Cartwright. Which brings me to the reason I asked you to stop by early today. Since everything is up in the air, I don’t want to sell the shop outright. I was wondering if you’d be interested in managing it for me until I can decide.”
Cara’s jaw must have dropped a mile, but Lucy plunged ahead. “There’d be a substantial raise in it for you and…well, depending on what happens in the future, I might end up selling the place. You’d have first dibs on buying it. If you’d be interested, that is.”
Cara hadn’t really thought about it until now, but the idea was appealing. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you know what? I just might. I’d need to discuss it with Jase, of course, if the opportunity ever arose.”
Lucy smiled at her. “Of course. And as I’ve said, it may be that we’ll be back here within the year, but I can’t say for certain and I want someone I can trust looking after my baby. I want you if you’re interested.”
Running Resale Dreams would be a challenge, but Cara believed she could handle it. “I’d love the opportunity. Thank you, Lucy, for considering me. And as much as I might want to buy the place someday, I hate the thought of losing you as a friend.”
Lucy appeared close to tears once more. “I know. Me, too. I’m so happy you stayed in Cartwright, stuck it out with Jase. You too seem so happy now. He’s a different man with you back. So honest with everyone and with you about his drinking. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man grow in the Lord so much. It’s so important to be honest with each other, isn’t it? God doesn’t want us to keep secrets from Him or from each other.”
Cara caught her breath. Had Lucy seen the truth somehow? All the things she’d said about Jase were true. He’d confessed all of his secrets and held nothing back from her. Jase trusted her, and she didn’t deserve that trust. She hadn’t been completely honest with him. She still kept something from him. Something that could destroy them. She hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him the truth.
“Okay, unless you want me to spend the entire day crying, I say let’s get out there and take our minds off things. As I recall, there’s a couple of boxes of clothes in need of sorting.”
Cara managed to smile as she followed Lucy out to the storage area.
Father, please help me. I don’t know what to do.
Trust him. Trust Me. The words slipped into her thoughts as an answer to her prayer. She would. She would trust Jase not to hate her for keeping this secret, and she’d trust God to help her say the right words.
She wouldn’t wait any longer. Tonight. She’d tell him everything tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Want me to grab some dinner on my way home?” Jase called just as she walked in the house. Lucy insisted they close Resale Dreams early since it was New Year’s Eve. Cara had stopped off at the grocery store and planned to make homemade chili for dinner. The weather had been threatening most of the week, alternating between sleet and snow. The perfect temperature of chili, Jase’s favorite.
“No, I’m making chili.”
He let out a low whistle. “I’m a lucky man. Thank you, God.”
Cara chuckled at the way he made everything she did seem special. “I’m glad you approve. I’ll see you soon. Jase?”
“Yes, babe?” She never got tired of hearing the tenderness in his voice when he used that endearment. He loved her. She’d been such a fool for doubting him.
“I only wanted to say I’m looking forward to you coming home,” she answered. “I love you, Jase. So much. I’ll see you when you get home.”
Please, Father, don’t let him hate me for keeping this from him.
Cara had just enough time to put the chili together and start it simmering before she heard his truck on the gravel drive.
“Help me say the words.” Her fingers shook as she went to meet him at the door. She was so nervous. She knew if she had any chance at all of telling Jase the truth she’d need to say the words before she lost her nerve.
She opened the door and saw him standing before her Stetson in hand and dressed in jeans, flannel shirt and faded blue jean jacket. Like some cowboy hero from the past. Jase was one of the good guys. He lived the cowboy code.
“Well, hello there, Mrs. Cartwright.” He swept her up in his arms and tenderly kissed her. Every gesture seemed accentuated by his love for her.
He shut the door against a gust of wind, still without letting her go. “Chili smells mighty good.” Jase smiled down at her, the corner of his eyes crinkling with happiness. For a moment, she let him envelop her in his love. His strength. He was one of the good ones, even though at times he still didn’t believe it. God had taken a good man and molded him into this wonderful person standing before her. Jase deserved to know what he was getting into by committing to her.
As he continued to watch her, he stopped smiling. “Is something wrong?”
Cara shook her head. “Yes. No…I don’t know. Jase, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” His expression didn’t change. None of the love he felt for her disappeared. It was almost as if he’d suspected she still kept her secrets from him. “Let’s go sit down.”
She kept her arm around his waist as they walked together into the living room. “What’s bothering you, babe?”
They said side by side on the sofa. Cara fought the
urge to put distance between them. She was holding God to His promise. She’d trust Him and Jase. “This is so hard. I should have told you this earlier, but…” She shook her head. “Oh, Jase. I don’t know how to say it.”
He never once wavered. “Just tell me. It doesn’t matter what it is I love you, Cara. Nothing will ever change that. Trust me.”
Trust him. It was as if God had chosen Jase’s words.
“Jase, when I told you about my miscarriage in Paradise, I didn’t tell you everything.”
She looked at him. She could feel the prickly sting of tears in her eyes. She knew she was going to cry, but she couldn’t help it. She’d lost so much. She couldn’t lose him as well.
Jase took her hand and held it. “Just tell me.” He seemed so calm. So sure of her.
“There was a lot of damage. I was in the hospital for a while. Jase, the doctor told me I might not be able to have any more children. He said there was only a fifty percent chance I can have more babies. Oh Jase, I’m so sorry…”
The words were barely audible as the sobs came. She couldn’t look at him because she feared she’d see rejection. She was wrong. Tenderness was etched on his handsome face. The love shining in his eyes made her regret that she hadn’t trusted Jase with everyone so much sooner.
He tugged her into the shelter of his arms and held her while she cried. When she finally gained control, she pulled away. “I’m sorry. We never really talked about children, but you’re so good with Emma and deserve to have babies of your own. What if I can’t give them to you?”
He smiled and some of her fears slipped away. “Oh, babe, trust me. Please, just trust me not to screw this up again.”
“Jase…”
“Do I want babies? Yes. But only if I can have them with you.”
“But, Jase…”
He touched his finger to her lips. “No. No buts. If we can’t have children of our own then we’ll adopt, or we’ll become foster parents. I don’t care what we do as long as we do it together. With God’s blessing.”
Cara started to cry again, tears clouding his image. She saw his face crumble with pain. “Oh babe, don’t cry.” He was trying so hard to be strong for her.
He brushed his thumbs across her tear-streaked cheeks. “Oh, babe, please don’t cry.”
Cara needed him to understand this was different. “No, I’m not crying because I’m sad. I’m crying because I’m so lucky. I don’t deserve you, but I thank God for you.” And she always would. She’d thank God every moment that they had together, whether it turned out to be just the two of them or if God blessed them with a houseful of adopted children.
Epilogue
Cara had almost forgotten how much she loved springtime in Cartwright. This year, well, the world just seemed to come alive with green and the wildflowers of Montana covered the surrounding pasture. On Baby Elizabeth’s memorial hillside, she’d never seen so many daisies in all her life. It was as if God was smiling down from above, reminding them that while their child was lost to them for the moment, they’d see her again someday.
Cara found herself drawn to the memorial Jase had planted on the hill behind their house and the bench beneath the Ponderosa pine tree. It was the perfect spot to come and talk to God.
Today, her heart filled with happiness. God had blessed her so much. She and Jase had begun the paperwork for adoption just this week. They knew it would take a long time before they had a baby, but that was okay. They’d wait for the child God gave them.
She’d settled easily into her career as owner of Resale Dreams. Jase had been so supportive of her decision to buy the store once Lucy called with the news she and Bob would be staying in New York. She still missed talking to Lucy every day, but they made it a point of chatting each week, especially since Lucy was opening her, own Resale Dreams in New York. The store in Cartwright had grown immensely. Cara had ended up hiring a couple of high school girls to help after school and on weekends.
Life had seemed so bleak when she’d left Cartwrigh. Now God's promises filled her world with hope.
She glanced at her watch. Almost time for Jase to return from the field. He’d taken a chance with his free-range turkey and chicken ranch as well as the organic foods, but they were slowly beginning to show profit. The Cartwright ranch would be there for their children to pass on, and she’d make sure they knew how hard their father had worked to save their inheritance.
She got to her feet and touched the marble headstone lovingly. Their first child. She’d make sure all their children knew about Baby Elizabeth as well.
She headed back to the house. Lately, it seemed as if her energy level was next to nothing. She’d been fighting a cold for weeks now and had finally listened to Jase and gone to see their family doctor. Doctor Sinclair had insisted there was no need for worry but had run a series of blood tests as a precaution.
Cara reached the house just as Jase walked in. He gathered her close and kissed her. She felt so loved. So special
“Hey there, babe. You’ve been visiting Baby Elizabeth today?”
She smiled at how easy it was to talk about their child together. They’d turned a great loss into a blessing together. “Yes. There are daises covering the hillside. It’s gorgeous.”
They stepped into the house. “Yeah, I know. I was over there earlier. She’s got a great view of the pasture.”
Cara opened the fridge but promptly closed it. The temperature had climbed to nearly eighty degrees today. Nothing heavy seemed appealing for dinner.
“Let me help you with dinner, babe. I’ll just grab a quick shower and be right with you.”
He kissed her cheek and headed from the room. Cara looked out the kitchen window. A picture-perfect sunset was in the works. Perhaps after dinner they could sit out on the back porch and listen to the crickets. It was supposed to be a full moon tonight. The perfect setting for romance.
“How about a salad?” Startled, she turned and found him watching her from the doorway. She hadn’t heard him return.
Cara grinned at him. He looked good enough to eat himself, dressed in a crisp, white tee shirt, and faded jeans. His collar-length, blond hair wet and combed back from his face.
“Sounds perfect.”
Together, they began preparing the perfect green salad when the phone rang.
“I’ll get it.” Jase wiped his hands on a towel and grabbed the receiver. “Hello? Oh, sure, Doctor Sinclair, she’s right here. Hang on a second.”
Jase handed Cara the phone. A strange expression on his face.
“Hello, Doctor Sinclair. Is anything wrong?” Her heart plunged with fear. Why would her family doctor call so late?
What he had to say sent her heart sailing.
Cara almost dropped the phone. “Are you sure?” She could barely speak, listening as her doctor repeated himself. She glanced over at Jase. There was fear in his eyes that he couldn’t hide. He’d suffered through so much along wit her. “Yes, okay, thank you.” With shaking fingers, she handed Jase the phone.
“Cara? What is it?” he asked.
She wanted to reassure him, but she couldn’t speak.
Jase dropped the phone on the counter and turned her to face him. She could read all the fear he didn’t want her to see in his eyes. “Is everything all right?”
Cara took a deep breath. “Everything’s fine, Jase. The checkup went well. Turns out, I don’t have a cold after all, but…”
It took her another moment before she could say the words. “But what? What is it?”
Then Cara started to cry, but she was smiling. “I’m pregnant, Jase. I’m pregnant! We’re going to have another baby. A child of our own. Can you believe it?”
“We’re having a baby?” For the first time ever, Cara saw her husband cry and she knew everything would be all right. It didn’t matter what the future held for them. She had both the strength and hope she’d need to face it in those beautiful blue eyes.
“Oh, Cara, I can’t imagine being happier.
Can you?”
“No… God is so good. He’s given us another child, Jase. What a gift.”
He drew her into his arms and held her close. “And he’s given me the most beautiful woman in the world to share my life with. We’re finally home, aren’t we? We’re finally exactly where God wants us to be.”
And so was Cara. She was absolutely home. Back home to him.
The End
Standing On The Edge Of Goodbye – Book One – Treasures Of The Rockies
Chapter One
Kate brought the beat-up Jeep to a halt in front of the last known address of Rachel Bowers. A weather-beaten cabin her grandmother rented outside of Silver Mountain, Colorado. Kate had spent the last twelve hundred miles fighting morning sickness almost every waking moment, and the throbbing pain left over from the accident had been her constant traveling companion.
The cabin was dark even though it was barely mid-afternoon. There wasn’t any sign of the woman who’d filled Kate’s life with light for so many years.
Something about the deserted appearance of the place brought all the uneasiness back that Kate had struggled with the beginning of this trip. Had he found out about her grandmother’s existence? Had he beat Kate here and…dear God, no.
She’d almost given up hope on every single one of those miles. The promise of seeing her grandmother again was the only thing that kept her.
She got out of the Jeep and walked the half dozens steps up to the cabin’s door. Not a single sign of life inside and no evidence that anyone had been for quite some time. She knocked several times but there was no answer.
Rachel had told her once that the owner of the cabin, a man by the name of Matt Stevens, lived just a few miles up the mountainside. Grandma "Where are you, Grandma? I need you so much."
Rachel talked about Matt as if he were a friend. If she drove up the mountain and asked the property owner where Rachel had gone what would he know?
