A Heart's Forgiveness

by Joanne Schwehm

  “You’re ridiculous.” She giggled again, then in true Julie fashion, she flipped it on me. “It’s a shame you aren’t here because we could pretend we were there, but now I’ll have to satisfy myself.” Her sensual groan and teasing tone set me off.

  Holy shit. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Who needed sleep when I knew my girlfriend was priming herself for me? “Don’t hang up. I’m going to talk to you until I get to your place.” I slid on my shoes, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door.

  “Are you serious?”

  I started my SUV, and my Bluetooth kicked in. “You still with me?”

  “Yes.” She exhaled, and I adjusted my pants.

  “What are you wearing?” I asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Jesus Christ, Julie. I’m going to get in an accident.”

  “Did you want me to lie to you?”

  “No.” Traffic was moving, but I felt as though I caught every light. I finally pulled up to her apartment building. “Buzz me in.”

  “Okay.”

  I heard her shuffling around. Once I was inside, I took the stairs two at a time and got to her door. I knocked once and looked around to make sure no one was in the hallway. The last thing I wanted was for someone to see her naked. She opened the door, and I walked in and saw the most beautiful woman standing completely naked except for a pair of black patent leather stilettos.

  I closed the door and clicked the deadbolt. My eyes took their time drinking her in from head to toe. “I thought you said you were naked?”

  She glanced at her feet. “I threw these on because they make my ass look better. See?”

  Julie slowly spun on the balls of her feet, giving me a three-hundred-sixty-degree view of her fantastic body. Her toned abs, beautifully formed legs that led up to her glorious ass, and her bare pussy made me lose all composure. I stalked toward her, and she rested her hands on her hips.

  “You like?” She tossed in a wink.

  “No, I love.”

  I placed my hands on hers right before I scooped her up, carried her to her room and laid her on the bed. My clothes landed on the floor in record speed, and she perused my body with her gorgeous bright green eyes.

  I hovered over her. “So, about that dream.”

  Our lips melded together, and our tongues made love to each other. I skimmed my finger down the center of her breasts until I slid it inside her. She moved her hips up, and I added another finger and then another.

  She broke our kiss. “I need you, Brett.” Her hand found my stiff shaft, and she stroked it.

  I grabbed a condom out of my pocket.

  “Can I?” she asked. I gave her the condom, and she rolled it on, letting her hand linger and rub me.

  “I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that.”

  My left arm supported me as my right hand pulled her leg around me. I noticed that she’d never taken off her shoes, and I about came on the spot. I easily slid in and arched my back. I moved my hips, meeting hers with each thrust.

  “Is this what your dream felt like?”

  She shook her head, “No, this feels better… much better.”

  Her slender neck arched. I needed to taste it. My tongue swept from the base to the tip of her chin. Julie’s fingers gripped my back as we picked up the pace.

  I wanted this to last longer, but I wasn’t about to stop. “You’re ready, aren’t you?”

  I watched her cheeks color as she tilted her head back. She tightened around me, and her legs shook. I increased my speed with each thrust until she screamed my name. My release hit me quick, and I grunted as I plunged as deep as I could into her core.

  “Oh my God, Brett!” Her heels grazed my lower back.

  I collapsed on her chest and kissed her hard. My hands held the sides of her face. “Next time you dream, that’s what I want it to be—what we just did.”

  Her lips curled into a sexy smile. “That’s what it was—except for the airplane hangar.” She snickered then said with all sincerity, “But this was much better… much, much better.”

  I pulled her into my arms and held her back to my chest. “Good night, Julie.” I kissed the back of her head.

  She sighed and wiggled closer to me. Our legs were bent together, and her ass was pressed against my abs. “Sweet dreams, Brett.”

  Over the last few months, my days had been fantastic and my nights even better. When I was with Brett, something inside me was different. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but it was there. Each kiss and embrace had become more and more important to me. It was as if he awoke a side of me that had been dormant or maybe didn’t even exist.

  The smell of coffee made my senses wake and my stomach rumble as I waited for the barista to create my morning indulgence. While I sat in the coffee shop with my latte and scone, I watched the people walking down the busy city streets. They all blended into a sea of hurry-up-and-go. I wondered if I had always been the same way. Maybe that was what Brett was changing in me—making me stop and take time to enjoy other things in life rather than just my job.

  I picked apart my pastry, put a bite in my mouth, and savored the juicy blueberry explosion. Once I was done, I headed to the office again, becoming one in a sea of many.

  Brian had decided to try to expand into the international market, which meant long nights trying to figure out which companies would be viable for us to approach. I disliked that part of marketing and advertising. Multiple agencies pitched their services to one company on the same day—cattle calls if you will. I didn’t know what the agency before or after me said to the potential clients, and it was nerve-racking.

  I stared at all of the work on my desk. Brian needed to hire more people. I loved my job, but when the end of the day came, I was exhausted. For the past few weeks, Mark and I had been trying to get the job done. Aubrey and Alex’s relationship had hit a major bump in the road, the thought of which broke my heart. Alex ended up finding out about Aubrey’s secret journal she kept for her novel. It listed romantic gestures Alex had made throughout their relationship and how she could use them in her book.

  When they’d first started dating, Aubrey hadn’t expected to fall in love, but she did. What started out as research turned into a diary of sorts. However, Alex didn’t ask her about what the journal meant. He assumed she’d been using him. He was hurt and angry.

  That night, Alex went to his club and drowned his aggravation in liquor. Aubrey rushed to the club to try to explain, but when Alex spotted her, he grabbed Leah who was passing by and kissed her.

  I had just arrived at the club when Aubrey ran by me. The next thing I knew, Brett was yelling for someone to call 9-1-1 because Aubrey was lying unconscious on the sidewalk. Apparently, when she ran out of the club¸ she was accidentally shoved to the ground and sustained a horrible concussion when her head hit the concrete.

  At the hospital, Aubrey woke to darkness. My best friend was blind, and I was terrified for her. Not only did she lose Alex, but she had lost her sight.

  There wasn’t anything the doctors could do. She received the standard, “In time, your vision may return,” prognosis. Looking back, I supposed they didn’t have the necessary information to tell her more than that, but for Aubrey, their prognosis was enough for her to realize her life was forever changed.

  When she’d decided to move to Paris to be with her parents, I went with her to help her while her mom and dad made their home handicapped accessible for her. When she was settled, and I came back to the States, I was heartbroken for my friend. She was lost and confused. Alex did everything in his power to stay by her side, even though she fought him every step of the way.

  All Aubrey had wanted was to be a writer, and although she taught herself, Braille, it wasn’t the same. She was a pen-to-paper writer, and that was no longer an option for her. I prayed that my best friend would have the strength to go on living a completely different way of life.

  My heart ached for her. Aubrey had been working on overcoming h
er anxiety, but this was a major setback. I didn’t know if she’d recover - emotionally or physically.

  Brett and I did our best not to let our friends’ breakup affect us, and for the most part, we succeeded. We didn’t take sides, but it was a difficult time. Although my thoughts were with Aubrey, I was plagued with guilt for feeling happy. I couldn’t help but appreciate what I had—especially, Brett.

  I looked at the clock. It was already after six. I wanted to leave, but before I left, Brian called me into his office to discuss a new client that wanted a marketing plan for his vineyard in Italy. Brian had heard this vineyard wanted to market their wine in the States but wanted to partner with an upscale club, and the White Orchid would be an ideal fit. And since it was my client, giving me the project was a no-brainer since I was the lead on the White Orchid’s account.

  He filled me in on the details of the family-owned vineyard, what they desired and their budget, which would be easy to work with. I told Brian I’d come up with something brilliant. Thankfully I had about a month to give him my preliminary draft.

  I walked back to my office, looked at the mounds of paperwork and storyboards, and decided I’d had enough. I grabbed my purse, turned off the light, and closed my door. My body screamed at me to go home and soak away my day in a lavender bubble bath, but I wanted to surprise Brett at the club. I needed a drink and, more importantly, a hug. We hadn’t seen each other in a couple of days due to my many business dinners and his schedule at the club.

  I hopped in my car, dropped it off at my apartment building, and called a cab. I didn’t want to deal with city traffic when I was this tired—it was bad enough when I was wide awake. The yellow sedan dropped me in front of the club and knowing Brett was beyond the double doors sparked enough adrenaline in my body to wake me up a bit. I couldn’t wait to see his smile and how sultry his eyes became when he looked at me.

  As usual, the club was hopping, and the energy inside was powerful. Young professionals, with their ties loosened, were at one end of the bar, unwinding over a pitcher of beer. At the other end, a party was going on. Women were hooting and hollering, and one even wore a small white veil and a sash that said “Bride.” It must have been her bachelorette party.

  I saw Brett’s back. I’d have known his form and the effortless way his body moved as he mixed cocktails anywhere. I couldn’t help the sense of want and belonging I felt when I was around him. The closer I got, the more my body came to life. The tension in my muscles fell away, and contentment washed over me.

  As I rounded the corner, my feet stopped moving. A stunning brunette was leaning across the bar, and her sultry round breasts protruded from her blouse. She was laughing with Brett at something he’d said, and I watched like a smarmy voyeur as he tossed her a wink and gave her his award-winning smile—as he had when we’d first met. He poured two shots, one for her, and one for himself. They clinked glasses. She never took her eyes off him as she tossed it back. He wiped the bar and continued their conversation.

  Never once had I felt jealous, not once had I felt possessive, but at that very moment, I did. I didn’t care for it. A small part of me wondered if this was a common occurrence when he worked. What a ridiculous thought—of course, it was. He was a sexy bartender with a reputation as long as the mahogany wood that was his workplace.

  The pounding bass of the music mimicked the pounding in my ears as I slowly walked toward them. But I didn’t feel like dealing with it, so instead, I turned toward the door without paying attention to anyone around me. My brain felt foggy, and my heart ached.

  “Julie?”

  I blinked and looked to my left.

  Tyler chuckled. “Damn, I’ve been calling your name.”

  A fake grin appeared on my face. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. It’s busy here tonight.”

  “Yeah, every night has been like this lately.” He beamed with pride.

  Every night is like this. Every night is like this. Every night. Like this.

  Tyler asked, “Can I get you a drink?”

  I tried to blink away the haze that had formed in my brain. “No, thank you. I think I’m going to head out.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. Just a bit tired.” The confusion that had washed over me, not to mention the jealousy that had infiltrated my heart, drained me of any spark of energy I’d had. Numbness took over.

  “Let me get Brett for you.” His face softened, and his voice was laced with worry.

  I panicked a bit and put up my hand. “No, it’s fine. I don’t want to bother him. I’m just exhausted.”

  He tightly smiled. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

  “I am. Thank you, Tyler.”

  “Take care of yourself.”

  I nodded, and he shifted to his side and brought the business guys another pitcher of beer. I chanced one more glance at Brett. He was back in front of his new friend. Maybe it was because I was worn out, but I felt so defeated. What irritated me the most was that I’d let a man make me feel that way. This situation was getting ridiculous. I was ridiculous, but what was worse… I was jealous.

  I heard my name and stopped dead in my tracks. I turned. Brett was behind me.

  “Hey, did you just get here?” He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  I relished the tenderness of his action. “No, actually, I was about to…”

  He glanced at the doors. “Were you going to leave?” Worry lines formed above his eyes.

  Before I could answer, I lowered my head and did my best to conjure up the appropriate word. Instead, I went for an honest one. “Yes.”

  “Without saying hello? Why?” His brows drew together in a confused expression.

  “I didn’t appreciate seeing you flirt.” God, I hated how I felt. I wasn’t the lovesick-fool type, and that was how I sounded.

  Loud laughter that sounded like cackling took my attention. Brett looked back to where it came from, then with a tilt of his head, he looked at me. He took my hand and led me to a quieter spot in the club. “Was it the bachelorette party? Was that it? There’s no reason to be jealous or angry.”

  “I’m neither jealous nor angry.” Okay, I was a tad jealous. “I saw you having a great time with Miss Boobs Galore flirting with you, and I was too tired to deal with it. All I wanted was to see you, and there you were laughing and having a great time, so I was going to leave you to your… business. As I said, I didn’t want to interrupt, and that’s exactly what I would have done.” My blood pumped hard. I was so irritated that I sounded immature.

  “It was nothing. We make more money and sell more drinks when we toss in some flirtation here and there.” He was so nonchalant about it that my skin crawled, and my stomach rolled.

  “This is why I don’t do boyfriends. I don’t want my man giving another woman the wrong impression. One day, that’s going to backfire on you, and you’re going to break a heart.” Pressure built beneath my eyes and my face began to tingle. The realization hit me that the heart he would break could be mine.

  He placed both hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry.” His voice sounded an infinitely compassionate. “Your heart is the one I care about, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He wrapped me in his strong arms. “That’s the last thing I’d want to do, but please don’t doubt what I feel for you. If something bothers you, I want to know about it so we don’t have misunderstandings.” His arms loosened, and he lifted my chin so our eyes met. “Okay?”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “Now, can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, I really am tired and want to go home.” That was the God’s honest truth.

  “I’ll call you later.” He pulled me close and kissed me. “Just you, Jules.”

  His killer smile and those three words made me feel better as I left the club.

  I padded across my living room into my kitchen and poured myself a glass of chardonnay. A bath would have been too much effort at that point, so I put on
my pajamas and sat on the couch with my wine and a movie. Why I decided on a sappy love story was beyond me. I set down my glass and rested my head on a pillow as I watched a couple kissing under an oak tree. Enough of that crap. I grabbed the remote and flipped to a Law & Order marathon. Better.

  My mind drifted to Brett. Love. Was I…? I let out a sigh, rolled to my back, grabbed a throw pillow, and held it to my chest as if it were a shield that could protect my heart. I had a feeling it was too late. Brett had taken down the walls that I’d built over the years, and I hadn’t even realized it. Had he? Did he know he’d penetrated a barrier I had erected?

  When I woke on the couch, I cursed myself for not going to bed. I needed to get to work when I could have used more sleep.

  Mark was in the break room when I got to the office.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  “Hey, Jules. Are you ready to clear off some of our workload?”

  “Sounds great, thank you.” I poured myself a cup of coffee.

  His brows lowered as he studied me. “Are you okay?”

  “Sure. Want to come to my office so we can sift through the files and prioritize accordingly?”

  Mark stood and followed me in. He closed the door, and I sat in my chair and opened my laptop.

  He sat in the chair opposite mine. “Spill it. What’s bothering you? Don’t tell me nothing, because I know you, and you’re acting strange.”

  I slumped back in my chair. “I don’t know how to explain it.” I exhaled. “Being in a relationship is new to me, and most of the time, I love the way it makes me feel. I never even think about it, because it’s so effortless, and then bam, I’m hit over the head with reality, and it makes me feel vulnerable.”

  Mark nodded. “I’m not the best when it comes to relationships. When I was with Jessica, I thought we had it all and we were great together, but then she decided to study in London. I was hit with the harsh reality that she didn’t want me the way I wanted her.” He shrugged. “But everything happens for a reason. Now I have Val, and she’s great.”

  I remembered how upset he had been when Jessica moved. It prompted me to ask, “Are you happy?”