“I spotted a sign for an outlet mall ahead…near Washington, Pennsylvania.” She deliberately changed the subject, wanting to distract him from pressing her on her pain levels. “The weather’s bad and not getting better.”
To underline her point, a heavy wind gust tried to shove the vehicle toward the center line. Vanko handled the recalcitrant wind easily.
She exhaled with relief and continued, “And it’ll be dark soon. Could we stop for the night? Take a break…maybe do some shopping?”
Vanko dealt with some sharp S-curves made even more treacherous by ice and snow before addressing her questions. “Shopping?” He threw her a quick glance, a grin on his lips. “Women and their shopping.”
Even though she was aware he was teasing her, she explained her reasoning anyway. “I need more practical clothing.” She shivered in the wool cardigan, her only outer wear. Even with the vehicle’s heater, her feet felt like chunks of ice in the thin, supple Italian leather half-boots meant for a temperate autumn day and not a freezing, snowy December.
Vanko’s smile and playful eyes turned serious in a split second. “Yes, we can stop. But are you well enough to shop?” His visual scan pierced her. “You’re in pain. This isn’t acceptable. I will take your sizes and—”
She cut him off by placing her hand on his right thigh and squeezing the solid muscle under her fingers. His nostrils flared, and she noted desire in his eyes before he blinked.
Oh my.
A pleasurable ache between her thighs pulsed in response. She swallowed past a sudden tightness in her throat. “Um…uh…I couldn’t walk a whole outdoor mall. But I could handle one store. There was a Gap Outlet advertised. We both should be able to get enough clothes to last us until our final destination.” She looked over the seat back to his duffle on the floor behind the driver’s seat. “Your bag doesn’t look like it could hold much winter weather gear.”
“It doesn’t. We’ll stop.” Vanko yawned, a sign of his exhaustion. “We both could use a good night’s sleep.”
He crooked a finger. “Come closer. Look me in the eye and tell me what really put the frown on your lips and the faraway look in your eyes. It wasn’t our lack of winter clothing.”
Elana turned and leaned toward him. The movement pulled her wound, but it was bearable. Even if it had hurt more, she couldn’t resist getting closer to him. His scent calmed her. “Tired. Worried about the future.”
Vanko’s long-lashed eyes narrowed with concern. “I’ll accept those reasons. But you’re in pain and are trying to hide it from me. Don’t do that. I wish to take care of you, zaychik, and I can’t do so properly if you aren’t open with me.”
“I don’t want to be more of a burden…”
“Hush. You are not a burden.” He stroked a finger along her jaw where the muscles were taut. “But I think that isn’t all that’s on your mind, angel moy. Once you realize you can trust me with anything…you’ll tell me what’s really bothering you, yes?”
I care for you. So much so, I don’t want you to leave me after all this is over. How needy is that?
Elana slowly pulled away from his light and very disturbing touch. “I trust you…never, ever doubt that. It’s…me…” she trailed off. She had to shut her mouth or all her deeper feelings for this wonderful man would come out. She leaned back in her seat. “…um, I’m not sure what I’m feeling.”
Liar. You love him. Her little voice chided.
He’s not ready to hear that.
He’s attracted to you. You aren’t scared of him. You can build on that. Be a whole woman for once.
That’s sex. It doesn’t mean happy-ever-after. God, now she was arguing with the little voice in her head. She must be more tired than she’d thought or the drugs had driven her slightly batty.
Vanko, both hands on the wheel again, shot her another quick glance. “I’m pleased you trust me. Once I’m sure you’re safe, I’d like to get to know you better. Maybe—”
At his words, Elana burst into tears.
“Elana, dushka! What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. Words that couldn’t be unsaid stuck in her throat and fought to get out. It was too soon. If she told him of her love, of wanting a happy-ever-after, she’d scare him away. So she bit her lip and forced the words back into her heart.
He’d like to get to know her better wasn’t a declaration of undying love. But she wanted it to be.
Yeah, she was needy, pathetic and selfish, selfish, selfish to think a strong, handsome, and wholly sane man like Vanko would want the mess that was her. She sobbed and covered her mouth with a hand as she tried to stop crying.
“Elana, talk to me.”
Talk to the man, already.
She was afraid.
So, get unafraid.
Swearing under his breath, Vanko looked in all the mirrors, slowed the large vehicle, and pulled off onto the slush-and ice-covered berm. Once the Hummer was in Park, he released his seat belt and leaned over the center console. He pulled her hand away from her mouth and kissed the palm, with his other hand he turned her to face him. “Angel moy…what’s wrong? Am I assuming too much? Moving too fast?” He kissed the knuckles on the hand he held.
Not for me, he isn’t.
God, she loved this man. He deserved so much better than her.
Plu-u-eeze. There’s nothing wrong with you…us. Talk to him.
“No…I want…want y-y-you…want a chance at…an u-u-us. I kn-know it’s crazy…it’s too…too soon.” Elana sniffed. Despite her earlier resolve, she’d gone ahead and opened the lid to the Pandora’s Box of emotions inside her, opened herself up to a potential world of hurt when he realized just how damaged she was. It was a long way from Vanko’s light kisses and touches to handling sexual intimacy with a strong dominant male.
“You want me also? Good.” Vanko’s eyes glittered. He kissed her lips lightly and then whispered against them, “So, once we’ve eliminated all danger to you, you will be in my life.”
It wasn’t a question, but an order. It also wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was more than she deserved—and God help her, she was going to grab the opportunity and hold on for as long as she could.
About damn time.
Elana nodded since she couldn’t stop crying. It was as if the years of being alone were washed away with Vanko’s words. She had the promise of a future with him, however long it might last.
“Good, that’s good,” he whispered over her lips. “I’ve never felt this way about any other woman.”
That couldn’t be right. Elana frowned and pulled away so she could see his expression. “You must have had other women, um, lovers, you’ve cared for.”
“I’ve had many over the years. I’m almost thirty-five, after all.” Vanko let go of her hand and combed his fingers through her hair and then cupped the back of her head to pull her closer to his mouth once more. “But I’ve never…ever…wanted a woman as much as I want you. You, angel moy, I want as a permanent part of my life…forever.”
Forever? He loved her…he hadn’t used the word, but he had said forever.
Yay! Told you.
More tears flowed down her face. Her soul, her heart, felt lighter. Maybe, with him, she could open up and share all of herself. Then…maybe not, but she was damn going to try…for him. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint—”
“Shh.” Vanko brushed his lips over hers. “None of that kind of talk.” He gently nipped her lower lip with his teeth before licking the slight sting. “We’ll go at your pace, Elana moy. I’m a very patient man when I want something.” He then took her mouth with a deeper, more sensual kiss, his tongue caressing hers until she responded.
Lost in the sensual wonder of his lips and needing to get closer, she leaned further over the console and reached for his neck. She couldn’t hold back the gasp of pain when she pulled on her wound.
At her sharp inhale, Vanko released her mouth and settled her back into her seat. “Elana, dushka, are you all right?”
Concern in his eyes, he examined her face, then checked the area over her wound. “Good. No blood,” he said on a harsh exhale.
He stroked her shoulders and kneaded her tense muscles. “Damn me for an idiot.” He grimaced. “I meant to be so careful with you.”
“Now you shush.” She inhaled and shoved the pain away. “The pain is nothing. I wanted that kiss just as much as you.” Probably more so. “And I want other kisses from you. I want it all…with you…only you.”
Elana stroked his thigh which flexed under her touch and then boldly covered the noticeable bulge in his jeans. His erection was hard, large, and pulsing against her palm. Her sex ached and her clit throbbed as she imagined all his hot strength plunging into her depths…over and over…and over again.
He groaned and covered the hand she’d placed on his erection. “Never doubt I want you…all of you. But you were shot yesterday and are still a bit afraid of me, I think.”
“I trust you. I’m not afraid of you.” Just afraid of freezing at the wrong moment and disgusting you.
Elana moved her hand from under his and caressed his suddenly very stubborn Slavic jaw line. “So, sladkie, you’ll have to figure a way to make love to me without hurting me.” She swept her thumb into his mouth and he nipped the pad gently. “Because I ache for you and that has never happened with any other man…just you.”
Vanko’s eyes blazed green and gold. “I’m glad. But there’ll be no sexual intercourse until I’m sure I won’t cause you pain…or fear.”
“It won’t—”
“Zaychik moy, no. We’ll wait. We’ll have many years to make love to one another.”
Vanko’s autocratic stubbornness was etched into every line on his face. Well, they’d just see about that. She’d pit her Russian-Italian passion against his bullheadedness any day and win.
Elana didn’t want to wait to know Vanko’s intimate caress and to touch him in return. There had to be a way. Because her sex was aching in a counter-rhythm to her wound, and both caused her pain. While drugs could help with her wound pain, only Vanko could take away the sensual pain.
She sighed and proposed a compromise. “Will you hold me all night? I’ll rest easier with you near.”
“Nothing and no one will keep me from sharing your bed.” Vanko leaned back into the driver’s seat and put the vehicle into Drive, then pulled onto the highway in a spray of slush, ice, and gravel.
Chapter 17
Sunday, December 4th, 6:00 P.M. (EST), Gap Outlet Store, Washington, Pennsylvania
Vanko leaned a hip against the wall outside of the changing booths at the Gap Outlet store. He scanned and mentally profiled each person entering and leaving the dressing room area. It wasn’t that he thought their enemies could’ve found them so quickly, it was just what he did. He was in protector mode and wouldn’t let up until Elana was within a more secure perimeter.
“Vanko? Are you still there?” Elana’s voice drifted through the slats of the fitting room door. Her voice sounded weak and more strained than a half hour ago. The shopping expedition, while necessary to outfit them, was as he’d predicted, proving too much for Elana’s reserves. While she hadn’t issued a single word of complaint, he knew she was hurting—and he felt helpless to ease her pain. It was a feeling he didn’t like at all.
“Yes?” He moved to the door and tried the handle. It was locked. “Let me in, dushka.”
The door opened a crack. Tired, gray eyes peered out at him. She was far too pale. The sooner they bought the clothing, the sooner he could put her to bed. She needed rest.
“Move, milaya moya.” After she stepped back, Vanko entered the small cubicle and shut the door behind him. He looked her up and down. He wanted to howl. She was in pain and hiding it. He leaned closer and whispered next to her ear. “Do you need another pain pill?”
“Yes. But not now…later with food.” She stepped back and turned to face the mirror. “I need you to tell me if my butt looks too big in these jeans.” She looked over her shoulder, a glimmer of mischief twinkled briefly in the cloudy gray of her eyes.
There was that sense of humor he adored. He looked forward to years of teasing and laughing.
“Your sweet ass looks perfect in those jeans.” He swept his hand over her tight round bottom and then leisurely trailed it over the rest of her. Her looks, while not pin-up material, appealed to him on a primal level. This was his mate. “The whole outfit looks good. Are you almost done? You need to rest.”
“Just need to pick out a few more things, and then we can go.” She winced as she turned her face back toward the mirror.
“I say you’re finished.” Vanko rubbed his hands up and down her arms as he delivered the edict to her reflection. “You’re in no condition to try on more clothing. What you have will have to do.”
Elana turned slowly and put her arms around his waist. He watched for signs of pain on her face, but she had herself back under control. His Elana was indomitable.
“Okay. I’ll change back to my other clothes. While I do that, would you take these jeans,” she indicated the ones she wore, “and get me another pair in a darker wash?” She stepped back, unzipped the jeans, and then gingerly shimmied out of them. She inhaled and then bit her lip, but kept going.
Despite the knowledge she was in pain, the unveiling of her long, toned legs was a pleasurable sight. Vanko would have to have been dead not to notice how sexy she looked half-dressed. He wanted to watch her undress every night for the rest of his life.
When she began to bend over to pick up the jeans, he stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. “Don’t strain yourself. You’re moving around too much. I’ll get them.” He retrieved the jeans and put them over his arm. “Anything else I can get you?”
She leaned into him and kissed his chin. “Yeah…that.” She laid her head on his chest and rubbed her cheek over his thermal turtleneck through the opening in his bomber jacket.
His willful cock grew within the confines of his now much tighter jeans. He swallowed his groan of desire. Cupping the back of her head, he stroked her long, silky hair and imagined it brushing over his body as she kissed her way to his cock.
“I also want more of that later.” He brushed her hair away from one side of her neck and kissed the pulse threatening to beat its way through her delicate skin.
“Yes-s-s, please,” she breathed her response into the base of his throat and then stepped back.
She kept her eyes lowered as she unbuttoned the denim shirt she wore. Her high Slavic cheek bones were delicately tinged with color as if she were embarrassed or…aroused.
“Would you see if they have this style of shirt in white?” Elana slipped out of the shirt on the left side and then pulled it off her injured side with more care. Vanko noted she wasn’t able to lift her right arm much above waist level.
He made an instantaneous decision. They’d stay for more than one night near the outlet mall. Elana needed to regain her strength and heal. Plus, the extra day would allow the weather system with its strong winds and snow to blow through.
It was only Sunday. They were, at most, a two days’ drive from Vanko’s goal of Chicago. Ren wouldn’t be able to get the SSI jet to them anywhere until late Wednesday at the earliest or Thursday. He and Elana could afford the extra night on the road. By paying cash, they’d remain off the grid.
Vanko took the blouse from Elana and added it to the jeans on his arm. For a single second, he allowed himself to gaze at her body covered only in the black lacy bra and matching panties he’d chosen for her. The bandage over her wound was an abomination, marring her natural beauty, and the wound it covered was the only thing keeping him from taking her against the wall in this semi-public place.
Control, Vanko.
He fought the primal need to claim her and show her she was his. After several slow, long breaths, he’d harnessed his sexual urges. No woman had ever reached his primitive side so strongly. For now, he would keep his baser instincts under control for Elana’s sake
. But later, when they were settled in for the night, he’d allow himself the pleasure of removing her clothing and the delicate underwear. All under the guise of helping her avoid further strain on her wound, of course. He might not be able to make love to his woman, but he could touch her in other ways, get her used to him being intimate with her body.
“Vanko?” Elana touched his arm. “Are you okay? You looked as if you were somewhere else for a second.”
Yeah, he’d been away. He’d fast-forwarded to a future when he could examine, touch, kiss, and love every satiny inch of her. He ignored his cock as it twitched and demanded to be released. He manfully avoided adjusting his member.
“Just thinking we should take our time going to Chicago. How about we spend a couple of nights near this mall before hitting the road?”
Elana’s whole face lit up. “That would be great.” Then her smile disappeared and a line of worry etched her brow. “What about the men after us? What about Demidas?”
“We’ll be fine.” Vanko wouldn’t allow it to be any other way. He caressed her face, smoothing the distress from her forehead with his thumbs. He couldn’t stand the strained look on her face; she was meant to smile. It would be his life’s goal to make her happy. “Now, I’m to find jeans and a blouse. What about the sweaters?”
He glanced at two pullovers on a seat and wondered how she’d tried them on since she couldn’t lift her right arm without pulling on the wound.
She followed his line of sight. “Don’t worry. I didn’t try them on. They’re mediums, my usual size. I only needed to try on the jeans to make sure they wouldn’t rub my wound.” She let out a sigh. “I’ll be happier when I can move again.”
“Give it time, angel moy.” He took the clothes over his arm and placed them on the bench seat with the sweaters. “Let me help you into your clothes. Then we’ll go together to pick out any other items you require. That way you can lean on me. When you’re tired, the pain is always worse.”
Weather the Storm (Security Specialists International #3) Page 17
