“First food, then talk. Get your dress on; we can sit by the water and eat.”
Lotte got up and put her dress on while Marie opened the great glass door that faced the water. They were hit by a wall heat even though it was early in the day and the sun glinted off the sea just fifteen meters away as small waves licked the beach close to the Bale Bengong. They got comfortable on the mattress, and out of the blue appeared three waiters. One with back supports so they could sit comfortably, and the other two came with a table covered with food, coffee, juice and water.
Lotte was so overwhelmed by the large selection that it was difficult to choose, but her stomach was of a different opinion, so she reached hungrily for a slice of bread.
“No no. That’s what the waiters are here for. They will be here while we eat breakfast so we can just sit and chat in peace and quiet. Settle in and let the waiter do his job.”
Lotte was awestruck. She looked at Marie and then at the waiter and it seemed to her that they were more like slaves and it made her uncomfortable
“Don’t worry about it. They love their jobs and they get very good tips so they are happy.”
Again, it seemed as though Marie read her thoughts. It was a little scary but also somewhat comforting. Lotte smiled at one of the servants which he returned - a genuine smile that reached his eyes, and he said “Thank you,” showing that he had understood what Marie had said.
Lotte and Marie leaned back, and let the servants do their job while they ate and talked.
Marie told her how she had investigated Lars because she had a feeling that there was something odd about him. She told Lotte that everything he had said about himself was a lie. Seven years ago, he had been convicted of violence, and received a suspended sentence. He had also threatened Marie if she persuaded Lotte to leave him. It was obviously a lie, but the end justified the means. Marie frowned and looked grim.
“I am sorry but I was right about Lars. You deserve better and it’s such a shame you had to meet a predator like him after having been with The Ruminant so long. You could use some real love.”
Lotte had tears in her eyes and she felt as she’d been hit right in the heart. She immediately got a napkin from a servant, and he looked like he wanted to pat her consolingly on the shoulder.
“He is threatening, violent, abusive and self-righteous. You can’t talk to him sensibly and he doesn’t believe he needs to change in any way. It’s always the fault of others when he behaves like an asshole. I’ve met men like him before I knew Verner; He was not the first of the kind. They are not capable of change.”
Lotte looked like someone who was about to collapse in convulsive weeping. Her whole body seemed knotted together and she looked like a scared little girl who hid from her abusive father under a desk.
“But what can we do? The whole holiday, and your lovely gift will be destroyed by this. We can’t force him to leave, and leave us alone. He destroys everything. He behaves as if he owns us. And then the humming! It drives me crazy!”
“Yes ... “ Marie answered and then she made a decision about Lotte. “… he must die.”
“Die?! Oh good God Marie! Sometimes I’m almost afraid of your humor!”
Marie looked out over the sea. Her expression was very determined and single-minded, but she was also completely quiet and still. Her mouth was closed and lips slightly tense. It was impossible to guess what she was thinking. She looked at Lotte again.
“Do you trust me? I’ll take care of Lars, but it’s going to take a few days. You just put a good face on until I get him to disappear. I know exactly how his type should be treated.”
“And what can you do? Oh, Marie, I’m so sorry that I’ve got you mixed up in all this. You’ve just finished mourning your own idiot, and then you talk about taking care of my idiot. I can easily understand if you want to get rid of me, too, when all this is over.”
“Nonsense! Of course I still want you in my life. We’ll have a good holiday together, I’m sure you want that too. There are so many wonderful things I want to show you, Lotte. But you must trust me and do as I say. Just give it a few days and you’ll see what I have in mind. Can you do that?”
“Yes, of course,” replied Lotte, still totally unsure what Marie had been suggesting when she talked about Lars dying. “Thank you, Marie. You are a wonderful and caring friend and I’m just so lucky to have you in my life, but…”
Lotte was just about to ask another question when they heard a male voice behind them say mockingly, “I’m so lucky to have you in my life!” But his tone was more than mocking, it sounded angry.
Lotte’s heart jumped into her throat when she and Marie turned around and saw Lars standing there.
“Where did you come from?” exclaimed Lotte. “And how long have you been there?”
Lars smiled smugly.
“Yes, you would like to know, huh?”
He looked at Lotte’s bruised and swollen eye.
“Well, you fell in the bathtub again, klutz? You would think you would have learned to stand upright as an adult, but it’s probably too much to ask!”
Lotte was about to protest, but Marie interrupted her.
“Want some breakfast? I think we need some food before we dive. Have you dived before, Lars?”
Soon she got them all chatting away about diving and Lotte was initially grateful for Marie’s intervention. But as she sat there and looked at them, there was something in Marie’s eyes that really disturbed her. In a way it was quite like flirting, but seemed something far more dangerous. It made Lotte very uneasy so she got up and went for a swim.
At noon a car came and drove them to a diving school, where they were given a basic course in diving; Marie pretended it was her first time. Initially they practiced in a pool and then they went out into shallow water in the sea. The diving instructor was eager and talented as he assisted them and taught them relaxed breathing through the scuba mask.
At first Lotte was a little scared, but once she was underneath the water and could see all the colorful fish and coral she was like a child in wonderland. She pointed excitedly at all the miracles she saw. Lars was more cool, but he seemed determined to do everything right, maybe to impress Marie. But she appeared calm and sensible, not easily impressed by his attempts at looking cool.
When they had come out of the water the instructor apologized for the rigidness of his tuition, but explained that tourists died every year in the sea at Bali because they did not take the dangers of diving seriously.
“Always stay with your buddy. Never panic. Never do anything that could jeopardize safety. We do this on land and on the water surface, but when we dive we always follow rules of survival.”
“Do we even think for ourselves?” Lars asked sarcastically and looked like he might mock the instructor for his faults with English, but perhaps he then thought that his was not so great either. Marie looked at him with an expression of a mother who patiently tries to teach her child an important lesson.
“Understand that you are not skilled enough yet. Do as you’re told, so nothing happens” added Marie and the instructor nodded his head in agreement. Lars laughed, a little too high and forced and Lotte thought that if this was a fight between Lars and Marie then she had won the first round.
26
The next day, Marie had ordered a car to pick them up at ten. They were headed to the north side of the island and they would see some sights along the way. Lotte sat quietly and took it all in, overwhelmed by all the breathtaking landscapes, the lavishly beautiful scenery and the friendly and welcoming people she saw on the road. Their happy smile made her feel welcome.
They visited some hot springs where holy water trickled out from seven stone heads, into a large pool. Many people stood and prayed in the water with all their clothes on. Marie explained that they had to go into the pool and get water on their head to have thei
r prayers heard. Lars laughed mockingly with a condescending expression on his face but Lotte was thrilled. Marie loved the side of Lotte that enjoyed life as if through a child’s eyes, inquisitive and happy with everything that was new and exciting. After ensuring that she wasn’t breaking any rules or mocking religion, Lotte went into the water with her clothes on and got her hair soaked by the heads of the holy water fountain.
She noticed that those praying around her looked at her and smiled. She felt welcomed and relaxed and began to pray while she felt the water run from the heads and down her back until it was united with the water in the basin. She was completely soaked as she prayed with a tense body, “Spare me the idiot,” she murmured, pleading and desperate.
When Lars shouted, “Come on, Lotte, we don’t have all day!” she clenched her hands and teeth and prayed even more intensely. Up on land again, she smiled and winked at Marie to Lars’ obvious irritation.
“Maybe you asked that I would be really nice to you, but then you have to be a real woman, and not a silly little goose,” he growled as she walked past her back to the car.
Her heart sank and again she felt ashamed. He was right. Although he did not treat her properly, she was not even close to being the perfect woman for a sweet and decent man. The only thing she deserved was an idiot like Lars, or The Ruminant. Her eyes filled with tears but she resisted the urge to cry. She took some deep breaths and thought she was done with men. If that was the only kind she could have, she would rather do without.
Marie noticed the tense atmosphere and proposed a cease-fire.
“Can’t we just pretend that we are good friends on vacation for a few days? We can all three go our separate ways when the holiday is over, but right now it’s better if the mood is at least bearable. Put your enmity away, try just being in the moment and enjoy this beautiful island, okay?”
Lars seemed to ignore what she had said, but his expression changed from irritation to indifference. He looked out the window as they drove on to their hotel and Lotte did the same feeling shame as she did so. Sitting beside him, Marie was engaged in a conversation with the driver and she chatted away in Indonesian or Balinese; Lotte could not tell the difference. The air in the back of the car was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Late in the afternoon they arrived at a large resort hotel built between beautiful mountains and overlooking the sea. The hotel was on the side of a mountain that stretched above them on two sides of the buildings and below the terrace ran a small river with green banks. Further out, they could see the beach where the river ran out into the sea. The sand here was black, but the sea seemed more calm than at Sanur.
They didn’t say much as they ate, and Lotte tried to concentrate on the view, the food and the beautiful surroundings. Marie told them they’d be picked up at ten the following morning and get a boat out to Menjangan Island, where they would eat a picnic lunch and after diving.
“And tomorrow night we’ll see a fire dance, a very special Balinese tradition. It is probably just right for you, Lars; beautiful women dancing just for us. The day after I’m going to Hong Kong, and then home from there. Lotte can come with me and Lars, you can stay here or travel as you please. There’s an open ticket in your name.”
“Although I highly value your donation, Marie, I think it was a mistake that we traveled together.” He put emphasis on the word ‘donation’ to clarify that he really did not need charity and his expression was hostile.
“Well, maybe... but it’ll be over soon since I have to travel further because of work.”
Marie was interrupted by a man in a suit who came to the table. He looked sad and a little timid, and first looked at Marie. As he spoke her expression changed to anger, and it sounded like she scolded the poor man. Lotte was worried.
“What happened, Marie?” Nightmares-like scenarios rushed through Lotte’s brain. Silently she prayed that Marie didn’t have business dealings that would leave her alone with Lars.
The man left and Marie still looked annoyed. “They have messed up my reservation so we have only two rooms.”
“I can live with you!” said Lars a little too fast. Lotte looked at him and looked at Marie and felt an uncomfortable warm tightness in her chest. Had they perhaps been up to something? Marie smiled, but it was slightly condescending.
“I think now that would not be appropriate, Lars. I suggest Lotte stays with me. I had looked forward to having time to myself, but they have promised that there will be an extra room for us tomorrow. I can probably survive one more night with Lotte on the couch.”
When they returned to their rooms, where staff had placed their suitcases, Lotte apologized profusely to Marie which the latter found slightly irritating.
“It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize as if you are to blame. It’s the hotel’s fault, but really it’s alright. I’ll just get a room to myself tomorrow. You are not the cause of any trouble I can wait to enjoy being alone and have time for myself.”
When they were lying in bed Lotte wondered what it was about Marie that made her become so suddenly controlling and then irritated by having to share a room for one night. Lotte figured she wasn’t used to being with others even though during their time in Bali they had been pretty close. Keen to discuss something else, Lotte asked Marie about her childhood, but said she apologized in advance if her question was too much of an intrusion.
Marie was silent for a long time and Lotte could see that she was thinking about it, maybe seeking a way to avoid answering, but then she spoke.
“My father was very much like Verner. He abused my mother and didn’t care if I saw. He was at once indifferent and then conversely really vicious. He thought he was a king over all the earth and everyone his subject. He beat both my mother and me regularly over dumb stuff, as though he enjoyed seeing us crying and hurt and pleading for him to stop.
“I remember long nights when my mother and I huddled together and held each other in a corner in the hallway. We tried to sit still so he wouldn’t touch us because he threatened to kill us if we moved. We hardly dared breathe. I also remember that even though I had my own room it could not be locked and as I grew older he began to take an interest in me in a really disgusting way.”
Marie paused to collect herself. She stared straight ahead, as if in a trance, with a worried look on her face.
“Marie, I’m so terribly sorry. That’s just awful!” Lotte took her hand, but Marie yanked it away as though Lotte were fire. But then she reconsidered and reached out to pat Lotte on the arm.
“Thank you.”
Marie breathed deeply several times and it sounded like something heavy was pressing her down on the bed where she lay beside Lotte. Then she continued.
“My mother wasn’t that caring, but she had no one else but me. She would come to my room and sleep in my bed, crying and smelling of sweat, his stink all over her. She would tell me the things he did to her which I didn’t want to hear, but she had no one else to talk to. I couldn’t tell her to go somewhere else, to find someone else who would listen.
“My father would just come into my room as if he owned it, but also as if he owned me. He told me how my mother was stupid, and sometimes stroked my hair as he talked about how unique I was - his own lovely girl. At one point he stopped beating me and I knew it would not be long before he would do something really nasty to me. I was not quite sure what it was; it’s probably just something that kids can sense, I think. They can feel danger in a different way than adults. I just tried to stay away from him.”
Marie paused, as if she were about to say something really terrible. Lotte held her breath and tears ran down her cheeks as she felt sympathy for Marie’s horrible childhood.
“One day they had a terrible fight and he hit my mother with a piece of wood until she died. Then he took me by the hand, and wanted me in his bed. I convinced him that he needed a drink, and that I would
get it for him. While I was away, he fell asleep with a lit cigarette in his hand - and the house burned down.”
“The house burned down?”
“Yes. Well, I’m tired. Is it okay if we just sleep now?”
Lotte was deeply shocked. She had the feeling that Marie had been about to confide something to her but had changed her mind. Now she lay there in Bali’s deep darkness, with a cruel tale, and sick to her stomach. She kept seeing a little girl who saw her mother being beaten to death and a father who wanted her in bed.
“Yes of course. I am thirsty. I would just like something to drink and sit outside a little. Just call me if there is anything you need.” Lotte said.
Marie nodded, half-asleep, so it seemed.
Lotte went out on the patio and sat down with a bottle of water and stared long into the night. She felt an uneasiness that she couldn’t quite put in words.
27
The sun shone gently over the island, the air was already thick with heat. Inside the ageing car, the air conditioning made a noise like a rusty tin being pulled over a bumpy dirt road. The strange trinity drove half an hour from the hotel before they arrived at the boat dock for visitors and divers going out to Menjangan island. Ramshackle buildings made of old wood and corrugated iron formed basic shower rooms and stores for the diving equipment. Out on the water twenty or thirty boats in vary shades of blue, were tied up awaiting business, but by the dock three small boats were tied up to the rotting wooden poles. One of the boats had a mountain of equipment lying at one end, and a diving instructor was waiting to take them out; Lotte was surprised that he was European when she was expecting a Balinese guide.
Inside the broad inlet, its edges comprising either mangrove swamp or white beaches bathed in sunlight, the water was calm, but as they got out to sea there was a slight swell. They sailed in silence for an hour, with Lars’ sporadic humming heard occasionally above the chug of the boats small outboard engine. As the island grew closer it seemed to simply be a long, love wedge of green, sitting alone in the sea; in the background were the volcanoes on the east coast of the island of Java.
Dead Men (Marie and Lotte Book 1) Page 16
