by Billi Jean
Still crying softly, she nodded, and let him guide her to sit on a fallen palm tree. He squatted down near her. “You believe me, about that night?” he asked. He had to. This wasn’t the end of this. She thought he’d called her so she could see another woman touch him. The implications of that were deep. Even though she’d said she’d figured out it wasn’t him, at first, when she’d walked into that bar and seen him, she’d thought he’d called her to come and watch him.
He had more to make amends for than he’d ever dreamt. But first he had to get them some shelter and figure out where they were.
Chapter Sixteen
This was terrible. Mandy was in bad. Real, real bad. Deep even. Helping Mac cut up some of the banana leaves to make shelter had been bad enough since Mac didn’t put a shirt on, but now, sitting near him, and watching him get the fire going? She couldn’t take her eyes off him. She’d dried, but right now? Her pussy was so wet she was surprised he didn’t smell her.
Had there ever been a time in her life she’d not loved him? Even when he’d been in that bar, with that woman, she’d loved him. That’s why it had hurt so badly. His betrayal had even dimmed the attack. For months, she had cried herself to sleep, numb inside, over him, not the attempted rape.
Now? Now he’d eased that hurt. He’d never touched that woman. Never let her go down on him. All those years of nightmares, seeing that woman doing things to Mac she hadn’t had the chance to try, had killed her a little each time. Doubts had filled her until the night they’d spent together had turned from something special into a pity fuck.
Now the truth was slowly easing away all the reasons she couldn’t have him. Couldn’t trust him. Couldn’t touch him. Now, all she could do was stare at him.
They were alone. Really alone. And he was hard. Oh, he wasn’t at full erection but he was sporting wood. She could tell. The BDUs were dry now, but the long, thick cylinder bulging under the soft green and brown camo was obvious to anyone looking. And she was looking.
Mac had been her first, but, out of curiosity, she’d looked up men online. He was far bigger than most of the pictures she had seen. Thick, with a broad rounded head and a ridged shaft that stole her breath away. Just thinking of licking along all the veins of his cock had her creaming her panties. Her blood sizzled through her body.
Nervously she glanced away from his hips and watched his muscles flex as he worked on the fire. He had amazing arms with strong wrists and large hands. She could see scars she’d not seen before. The scar on his jaw drew her eyes. The jagged cut traced a path through the rough blond stubble on his cheek and on down over the square line of his chin ending up as a white line against his tanned neck.
He glanced up and scanned her face, dipping quickly to her breasts then back up to her eyes. He’d loved her breasts so well that night, she’d felt him for days afterwards. Both nipples had been so sensitive when she’d showered she’d brought herself to orgasm from simply letting the water hit them while she’d fingered her still tender clit. Heat rushed her cheeks at the memory and she looked down at her hands.
“What you say we go get some fish for dinner?”
Mandy rubbed a shaky hand through her sandy hair and tried to get her mind off sex. Sex with Mac. She was dirty, had a gritty feeling all over. The sand in her hair was only part of it—she had sand in places that were going to become a problem soon. He probably knew that. No doubt, he counted on her caving in and stripping for him. Well, what if she wanted him to strip for her? Gathering her courage she met his light eyes and nodded, standing and brushing her hands on her dried BDUs.
“Sure.”
“Good ‘cause that’s dinner.”
Memories from their childhood bubbled to the top. She used to say that over making Mac-n-Cheese. He’d always just smiled and dug into the creamy noodles like he loved them. For once the memories of them didn’t hurt. The burst of the past almost felt good.
“Not Mac and Mandy Cheese, huh?” That had always been Rob’s joke. She’d glued herself to Mac so often, Rob used to call them that. She’d secretly changed it up to M & M. She had a tattoo with two little candies, one for her, one for Mac on her left hip, hidden even under her bikini bottoms. Mac had never seen it, or if he had, he’d not realised what those two little candies meant.
Mandy fought a rush of new tears at the thought and smiled up at him.
Mac’s grin grew, and he seemed to relax for the first time since they’d landed on this island. “Naw, but I loved that stuff.”
They began walking, Mac in front, her almost at his side. “Still?”
“Shit’s the bomb.” He pushed a banana leaf out of the path he was making and shrugged a big, tanned shoulder. He had more tattoos now. Ones so light against his darkly tanned skin she’d need time to trace all the intricate patterns. Would she have time to trace them all?
She jumped up onto a fallen tree and grabbed his offered hand to make it through the next obstacle. His hand was calloused, rough in ways she knew could bring pleasure like she’d never known existed before him.
“You’re a nut.”
“Case,” he retorted and turned, suddenly pulling her up against his bare chest with both arms before letting her down with a crooked grin. Her breath caught. “For you, sugar.”
“When are you going to stop playing coy? Strip for me.”
Mandy laughed. Mac acted as if they were on a vacation, not running for their lives and now stuck on some island. It might look like paradise, but she knew they were in danger still. Heck, she’d just jumped out of a helicopter—a Black Hawk—and survived. This was serious, but watching Mac, seeing him lower his defences, his soldier attitude, she felt safe. Maybe that was insane, but it was true. Maybe she should simply take what she could, when she had it, and think about tomorrow—tomorrow.
“You are a nutcase. Seriously, besides—” She hesitated only a second, then before she could chicken out, she said, “I think you should strip for me.”
One dark eyebrow lifted at her suggestion and his lips quirked up in a half smile. He set her down until her feet touched the ground and kissed her deeply. He tasted like sunshine—warm and so delicious she had to hold in the moan that threatened to break free. She drew her hands over his hot, firm chest, savouring the feel of his skin once again beneath her hands. He was so big, so hard, and strong. Her fingers found the small rise of muscle along his shoulders and she followed the bulge up to his neck. She traced over the scar there and blinked back tears at the feel of the raised tissue.
Mac tightened his arms around her and slid his tongue more insistently along hers, bold and demanding. He’d been that way, at least that night. He’d demanded responses from her. She gave herself to him now, trying not to think of the woman and the bar, or any of the other women he’d been with since.
“Damn,” he breathed along her jaw, causing minor tremors down her spine and up along her sides and breasts. It was like he was kissing her there, brushing those warm lips along every inch of her. He brought his mouth back quickly, taking her in an open-mouthed, hot kiss. Her body tingled. She needed more.
Suddenly he broke the kiss and breathlessly stepped back, big blunt hands on his belt. Her stomach did a nosedive. He unbuckled and drew the belt open, reaching the buttons of his BDUs and unbuttoning two so quickly the fabric covering his erection bulged up and over. She glanced up his tight body to his face and swallowed hard. He quirked his lips and gave her a teasing look. The brat.
Two could play. He’d been teasing her with sexy looks and kisses since she arrived. Just thinking of the way he’d made her come in her room brought a rush of lust through her system.
“Slow down, make it count,” she whispered, hiding her smile when he looked shocked. She eased her tank top off very slowly over her stomach and inched it up the rise of her breasts and over her head. Holding it with two fingers, she met his hungry gaze and tossed the fabric over her shoulder.
Mac just might break his hands from clenching them so tightly,
she thought. Mandy could see the white of his knuckles and, all along his lean arms and rounded biceps, his body tightened. Even his pectorals hardened. She loved his chest. He wasn’t a fake strong man—a body builder type with muscles for no reason—Mac had hard, manmade weapons of war muscles. Sleek, ripped, with the supple energy to kill with just his body. To have all that power centred on her, on her pleasure, turned her on so badly she felt like melting every time she caught him staring at her like he was now. Hot. Needy.
“You get naked and I’m not letting you up for air until we both fuck our brains out.”
The shock of hearing those husky, dirty words with birds calling overhead and the surf hitting the beach, while the wind blew hot against her naked flesh, made her nipples harden under her lacy bra. Playing it cool, she shrugged as if that was great. Heck, it wasn’t—it was fantastic!
“Sounds good to me.”
He lunged for her. The move made her scream and try to race off even though she wanted him. He caught her within one step and pulled her back into hot, muscled skin.
“Sounds good to you?” he husked against her throat.
A thrill shot through her at the hard length of his erection butting up against her ass. Mac seemed to feel the same way. He groaned heavily into her hair before he began pressing hot, wet kisses along her shoulder blade. His hands were everywhere, cupping and caressing every inch he could reach. The rough abrasion of his unshaved jaw teased her, filling her with images of him between her spread thighs, tonguing her so deeply she knew she’d orgasm until she couldn’t any longer. She had before.
Suddenly he tightened his fingers on the front of her thighs, and brought her ass tight to his erection with a low growl into her ear, “I’ve dreamt of this ass, sugar.”
Mac’s hot breath hit the sensitive spot behind her ear and drove her wild, but he knew that—he’d done the same thing to her that one night they’d had in each other’s arms. Using his hands on her hips, she pushed back and rubbed along his body. His cock pointed straight up, the thickness of it so hard she just knew the move would bring out a rough sound from him. It did. He also bit down on her shoulder where it met her neck. Her pussy contracted and blossomed with a rush of wetness as he rubbed his hips to her ass and brought his warm hands up along her stomach and ribs until he stopped right under her breasts. Oh, she was going to love this. And not regret it.
Once more, Mac took his lips away but he didn’t stay gone long. He sucked along her shoulder, brushing his hands up and down her stomach in a caress that made her breathless. She wanted his hands on her breasts, his mouth sucking the nipples as he filled her, but he stopped just shy of them each time.
“Why the sudden change, scaredy cat?”
The words didn’t make sense past the arousal simmering through her system. She reached back and cupped her palm along his jaw. “You’ve been threatening me, teasing me, and driving me insane with this since you first saw me. We almost died. You’re hard. I’m horny. Why not now?”
He dumped her on her feet and spun her around so quick she stumbled. “What did you say?” he demanded.
Shocked, Mandy jerked from his hands, or tried to, but he held on tight, not hurting her wrists but holding her hard enough that she couldn’t break free. His expression was furious. The green in his hazel eyes was darker with…anger…at her?
It took a moment for her lust-filled thoughts to make sense of that. He was pissed off at her for saying she wanted sex when all he’d been saying since she’d laid eyes on him again was how he wanted to get inside her. Was she somehow not to say what she wanted? She didn’t think so. This was an equal opportunity event, not a poor little virgin to the manly SEAL.
“What?” She pointed at him with her chin to indicate his too tight cargos. “I can’t tell you what I want? You’ve not made it secret what you want. We’re adults. We want to have sex.”
Mac’s hazel eyes darkened to something that was truly frightening. He dragged her up to his face, both hands tight on her upper arms. “Baby, we’re adults, but this will never be about wanting a quick fuck. I don’t know what the hell you’ve been doing the past five years, but that shit stops here.”
He glared down at her for an intense moment then stood back, dropping her wrists, and turned away. He waved an arm towards their small camp. “Go back to camp. I’ll get dinner alone.”
Mandy watched him, stunned, confused, and aching. Mac’s sexy muscled back tightened as he parted the jungle and left her. She blinked. What had she been doing the past five years? Sleeping alone, that’s what she’d been doing. Why now, when she wanted to feel him, did he freak at her for saying plainly she wanted him? Was she supposed to say, fuck her? Or maybe not let him up for air?
The double standard hit her like a slap of reality.
Was she supposed to be his little woman? Prim and proper until he wanted dirty, then have sex with him wherever he wanted?
He’d changed. He was harder, more focused, more serious.
And more confusing. Or not.
He’d always pulled her close and pushed her away. Was that the way it was going to be, still? What did he want that she just didn’t seem to have?
She cut the thought off, too confused to focus on anything, let alone Mac.
The man was insane.
I’m insane.
Mandy was right there, in his arms, ready for him like a wet dream, and he’d got his head all screwed up thinking she’d been with other men. She wanted to have sex with him. Sex. Fuck. He wanted to make love to her, not have sex with her.
Damn woman.
She’d been aggressive. Even challenging him.
Where had the girl gone who’d watched him in half fear, half shock when he’d taken his jeans off and revealed his dick that first time?
Obviously, she’d seen a bit more of the world.
He speared down into the shallow water and finally nailed another fish. He bent and retrieved it, being careful of its sharp spines. A second later it landed next to the other two on the banana leaf he’d set on a rocky outcrop. Glancing at the sun fast approaching the line of the ocean he waded a bit farther out in the bay’s warm waters.
She’d wanted him and he’d been so damn hard he could have broken through his BDUs with very little effort. And he’d left her. Hot. Probably wet. Probably? He knew she’d been wet. He remembered how wet she’d been last night. She’d drenched his fingers at the hotel room. When he’d made love to her that first time, she’d coated his cock.
“Fuck!”
Was there a way to get his head on straight? Not when Mandy was horny. Not when they were out here alone. She was horny. She’d said she was horny.
He squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled through his nose. Had he ever seen anything as hot as Mandy stripping off that tank top? Teasing him? Telling him to strip for her? Hell no. And, damn it, he wanted her demands. He’d dreamt over the past five years of bringing her out of her shyness and into her sexual maturity. She’d be a wildcat, he’d thought. But now, once she was a wildcat, for him, what did he do? Let the idea of other men teaching her to be wild turn him into a jealous, stupid bastard.
Mac tossed the spear downward, missing a silver striped fish, and stopped to wipe the sweat from his eyes. The sun was still strong along the horizon, but it would be night soon. He’d have to go back to their camp.
He’d fucked up.
Why? He smacked his forehead. He knew why, because he’d been celibate the last five years thinking of her. And before her? He’d fucked around but every single woman had been a replacement fuck for her. He’d always felt like shit afterward because none of them were her.
So why was he out here? Because jealousy was tearing his guts to shreds. She’d let another man touch her. Maybe even more than one. She was beautiful, and clearly eager to have him. Any man would kill to have her. Someone had—
He froze with the spear up. Some women grew more promiscuous after being raped. They had it taken, so why not give it out? He’
d heard that from women before, even. Was that it?
Fuck. He had no idea.
He took a deep calming breath and let the spear fall to his side. They had enough fish. He’d had enough time. He’d simply have to tell her that there was no fucking, no sex with him. It was him, making love to her, or it ended here. Either she was his, or she wasn’t. He stopped halfway to the beach.
No way, he wasn’t accepting defeat like this. He had her now. All he had to do was convince her that he was worth spending the rest of her life with. His chest felt like someone had tightened a band around his lungs, making it hard to breath. What if she didn’t think he was worth it?
She’d thought he’d cheated on her—for five years she’d thought he’d called her to a bar to see him cheat on her. How fucked up was that? After thinking such a stupid thing of him, how could he blame her for sleeping around? He might have too, if he’d thought she’d left him for another man. And called him to rub his damn nose in it.
“Mac?”
He twisted around and spotted her on the shore. She waved tentatively when he saw her and that band around his chest loosened. She looked so damn beautiful. He met her halfway. She looked serious, and a bit hesitant. He’d been angry. Had he frightened her? Feeling worse, he opened his mouth but she cut him off.
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck, you have nothing to be—”
“No, listen. I don’t just want sex, Mac. If that’s what you thought?” She shrugged a shoulder and gave him a look he remembered, a look like he’d made her do something she didn’t really want to do. “But I do want to be able to say what I want, when I want it. If you don’t want that, you need to tell me. I can’t be whatever it is you want me to be, I guess, but I—”
“Mandy, baby I want your demands, I just, fuck, I just screwed things up, didn’t I?”
She bit her lip, but shook her head.
