by Becky Wade
She wrestled the door open, then slammed and bolted it behind him. He set Max down. The retriever shot into the living room, leaving muddy tracks in his wake. He hid under an armchair, his tail between his legs, trembling. Mrs. Mapleton meowed at the bad-mannered houseguest, and Lyndie’s dogs blinked nervously at her from where they sat beside her sofa.
The remains of Jayden’s hero house rested on her table, uprooted, a reminder of what could happen to things that had been carefully built, when forsaken to the wind.
It took effort to make herself meet Jake’s gaze. When she did, she felt the clash of it all the way to her toes. The hazel depths of his eyes, rimmed by wet lashes, glowed with emotion. Water slicked his dark hair. The power of his blunt handsomeness, slashed by his scar, had never been so obvious.
Her mouth went dry. She was sorry she’d sent him into the thunderstorm and grateful to him for helping her rescue the hero house and Max. At the same time, the painful memory of what had happened between them the last time they’d seen each other hung in the air, destructive. “Thank you for getting the dog.”
He didn’t respond. His chest was hitching in and out, and he was no doubt trying to organize a blistering lecture on tornado safety.
She didn’t want a lecture. She wanted honest answers from him. Did she have the guts to deal with him head-on?
She had a great many faults. But a lack of guts had never been one. “Ever since I moved back from California,” she said slowly, distinctly, “I’ve been trying to pull the truth from you, Jake. I haven’t succeeded. But I think the time has come for us to be honest with each other. Even if it ends up hurting me, I need for you to tell me the truth now.”
His forehead furrowed.
She gathered her courage. “Do you care about me?”
Sheets of rain drummed the roof. “Yes.”
“Then why did you ruin what we had?”
“I . . .”
She gave him time to finish. He didn’t. “Was it because of how I jockeyed Silver Leaf?”
“No. It was never about that. I lied.”
Her adrenaline began to race. He was finally opening up to her. “Then why did you take me off Silver Leaf?”
He appeared to be wrestling internally with whether to trust her with all of it.
Trust me, she wanted to beg—
“I took you off Silver Leaf because I can’t stand to put you in danger. I can’t do it. It overwhelms me with fear, and I can’t . . . I can’t risk your safety.” His face looked anguished. “Not for any reason. I’ll lose it if I have to.”
Lyndie’s sympathy swelled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m not proud of it. And also I . . .” His lips set.
“Yes?”
“I worried that you might understand.”
“Which would have been a bad thing because . . . ?”
“Because then I would have had a chance at happiness.”
Comprehension dawned. It had been his fear for her and his survivor’s guilt that had sabotaged him—them.
“You love riding,” he said. “I hope you can forgive me for taking it from you and for the things I said to you at Lone Star. I won’t blame you if you can’t.”
What she’d learned from her life with Mollie was proving true with Jake, also. Loving someone wasn’t about their perfection. It was about coming to accept every part of them, their good qualities and their weaknesses and flaws—looking on everything they were and loving it all.
As she looked on everything Jake was, right down to his center, she loved him.
She closed the space between them. “You’re right. I love riding. But is it worth more to me than you? If I have to choose between it and your sense of peace, then I choose you.”
“Lyndie,” he rasped. He studied her as if trying to find enough hope within himself to put faith in her words. His hands remained at his sides.
“I think I’ve made a mistake with you, Jake.” She took fierce hold of his rain-soaked shirt, intent on keeping him right where he was, on making him hear her. “I didn’t tell you exactly how I felt about you because I didn’t want to scare you or rush you. But now I see that I was wrong, that maybe I should have made myself very plain from the beginning.”
She felt his big body brace, as if preparing for bad news.
“Given a choice between my riding and your sense of peace,” she repeated, “I choose you. Do you understand me? Am I being plain enough?” Tears piled up on her lashes.
“Yes.”
“I choose you because I love you. Just so that there can be absolutely no doubt or worry about it in your mind from this day on, I love you.”
His face revealed heartbreaking uncertainty. “You love me?”
“I love you.”
“I’m not—” His voice broke. “I’m not . . . whole. I’m afraid I never will be.”
“None of us is whole. Only God is.”
Tenderness filled his gaze. “I love you, Lyndie.”
“Then what more could a girl ask, Jake Porter?” She smiled shakily. “You’re something better than perfect. You’re mine. We’ll trust God with our shortcomings.”
He dug his hands into her hair and took her mouth in a kiss of such spiraling adoration and passion that Lyndie felt her tears tumbling down her cheeks. He walked her backward while they kissed, finally settling her against the smooth hallway wall and kissing her like he was never going to stop.
When he lifted his head, they stared at each other, breathless. In the candlelight, his eyes glittered with his dedication to her. “I’m sorry that I took jockeying from you,” he said.
She set a hand on his uninjured cheek, marveling over him. He loved her! He loved her. “Whispering Creek has a lot of horses, and not all of them are in training. When I feel like taking out a horse, I’ll take out one of those. I don’t have to ride on a racetrack to enjoy it.”
“It was your dream.”
“It was one of my dreams. You’re giving me reasons to dream new dreams.” She interlaced her fingers behind his neck, feeling muscles there. Jake loved her! He’d said it in a way that could not be mistaken. “I’ll go to Elizabeth and tell her we’ve decided that she’ll be Silver’s jockey from now on. I’ll show her how to win him over.” She could see how it would be, and though the sacrifice stung, she wasn’t sorry. “It’ll take Elizabeth time, but for Silver Leaf, she’ll be willing to put in the time. And she’ll be excellent. She is excellent. They’ll win together, and you and Bo and Meg will have your champion horse.”
“Lyndie,” he whispered. “I don’t care about having a champion horse so long as I have you.”
“Even so, you’ll see what’ll happen. You’ll have me and your champion horse, too.”
He caught an escaping tear on his thumb, wiping it away with incredible softness. “Will you come to the track and train horses with me?”
“Of course I will.” Standing next to him at the rail had been the best part of her day.
“When my horses go to New York, they’ll go without me.”
“You’ll stay in Holley?”
“Yes, because you can’t leave Mollie.”
“No. I can’t.”
“And I can’t leave you.”
She sniffed, used the back of a hand to dash away the last of her tears, and returned her hands to behind his neck. “Speaking of Mollie, I want you to know that she’s improved. We brought her home today.”
“That’s very good news.”
“Very.”
He gave her a small and crooked smile.
“Did . . .” Her brows lowered as sudden suspicion twined through her. “Did you go see Mollie this past week?”
“Just once.”
“And God used her to help you, didn’t He?”
“God helped me. I don’t know if He used Mollie.”
“Of course He did! He always uses Mollie to heal.” She laughed, then found herself getting choked up all over again. “You’re different. And it’s be
cause God changed you.” She could see it in him. She could sense it. Jake had finally made his way back to the God who loved him and had never stopped pursuing him.
Jake’s fear for her safety, she knew, stemmed from his mistaken belief that her protection rested on his shoulders. One day, he’d see that it didn’t. In time, she believed that Jake could learn to trust the God who was able, the God who was good, with it all. If God had the power to overcome Jake’s darkness and return Jake to Himself, then He had the power to accomplish still more. In time.
In her mind she saw a picture taking shape. The once gloomy prince stood in the center of the page, with beams of sun pouring down on him from heaven. And not just upon him. The sun was also inside of him, illuminating. He’d swept the grinning blond fairy into his arms. The unicorns and the red-haired fairy circled them, applauding while roses fell from the sky.
“I guess,” Jake said, “the roof of this building isn’t going to get ripped off by a tornado.”
The lightning and thunder had bowled past them. She could hear their fury receding into the distance. “I guess not. It looks like you and I aren’t going to get blown away this time.”
“You blow me away.” Seriousness overtook his features. “I love you, Lyndie. I’ll always love you. As long as there’s an earth and a sun,” he promised. “Longer. I will love you.”
She rose on her toes to kiss him again, elation singing through every fiber of her. She could sense the awe-inspiring generosity of God’s blessing. God had made a way for her to return to Jake and him to her.
Jake. The best friend of her childhood. Her defender. The one she would defend.
Her future.
Epilogue
He felt Rob’s wrist for a pulse. No pulse. He rose up, placing his joined palms on Rob’s chest to begin chest compressions, counting out loud to focus his mind and his efforts.
A part of him knew it was too late for CPR to help. But he couldn’t stop. It wasn’t too late. He wouldn’t let it be too late.
Panzetti and Scott and Barnes were his men. He’d picked them all to ride in his Humvee today. This couldn’t be happening. He was responsible for these men—my God . . . his men. Their safety depended on him and he wanted to go back in time and let all of them—any of them—live and him die. He hadn’t seen the IEDs. He’d overlooked something.
He continued CPR, devastated, wild inside, as the chopper lowered. Whipping wind and the roar of the blades pounded him. He was a shattered man who shouldn’t be alive, and all he could think while the blood dripped from the wound on his face onto Panzetti’s torso was: no. No! No, no, no—
“Jake.” A hand gripped his shoulder, calm and reassuring. “Wake up. You’re having a nightmare, my love.”
Lyndie. Though his heart was racing and confused panic beat against him from the inside, her presence instantly began to settle him.
The warmth and softness of her body stretched alongside him in their bed. He opened his eyes to see her in the semi-darkness, raised up on one elbow, looking down at him. Strands of her hair trailed onto his bare chest. The scent of a waterfall, fresh and peaceful, filled his senses. Her scent.
Hoarsely, he whispered her name.
“Yes, I’m here.”
Here. He was no longer left to deal with his memories alone, thank God. He pulled her against him, holding her with fierce, possessive power and rolling them both onto their sides. She clung to him, her slender arms surprisingly strong.
In the six months leading up to their wedding and in the two months since, he’d only had the nightmare a handful of times. It was losing its power over him, slowly letting go.
Jake could just make out her features in the dim glow of the nightlight she always left on for him. Their bedroom, here on the second story of the building she called the Candy Shoppe, surrounded them. Antique windows, blankets, snoring animals.
“Are you all right?” She stroked her fingers over his cheek and into the hair above his ear.
He nodded, even though he wasn’t yet. The scene in Iraq still had its hooks in him, but he didn’t want to say so and worry her.
“Liar.” She spoke the word gently.
He’d told her every detail of the things he’d seen and experienced on his tours.
“It wasn’t your fault, Jake.” She assured him of this every time he faced a setback, like now. Did she know that her words flowed into him like light? “God had a reason for sparing your life. He has plans for you and a future.”
“With you.”
“With me. A love like ours only comes along once in a hundred years, you know.” She smiled.
“Once in a thousand. I love you, Lyndie. I love you so much.” Fervently, he clasped her to him and kissed her.
He loved her. He loved her with single-minded commitment as deep as the ocean. As powerful as the tide.
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.”
—Jeremiah 29:11
Questions for Conversation
Lyndie and Jake were childhood friends. Did you have someone you’d consider to be your childhood “best friend”? Do you still have clear memories of that person? Do you still feel fondly toward them? Still keep in touch?
A Love Like Ours begins with a prologue that gives the reader a glimpse into Jake and Lyndie’s childhood. What did that glimpse add to the story and why do you think Becky Wade included it in the novel?
This novel is the third in a four-book series about the Porter family. Do you enjoy reading series? What are some of the things you most appreciate about them in general or about the Porter Family series in particular?
Jake is a quintessential brooding hero. How did you feel toward Jake? Why do you think this hero type has had such enduring popularity?
According to statistics from the Department of Veterans Affairs, 11-20% of veterans who served in Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom have PTSD in a given year. Civilians who’ve endured a trauma are also at risk. Have you been personally affected or known someone who’s been affected by PTSD?
Thoroughbred horse racing plays a large role in the plot of A Love Like Ours. Becky Wade loved horses as a child but never owned one of her own. She enjoyed “owning” Silver Leaf while writing this story. What did/didn’t you like about the horse-related plotline? Did you learn anything about horse racing that you didn’t know before?
How do you think God used Lyndie’s history with Mollie to prepare Lyndie for a relationship with Jake?
The theme of this book is “finding hope.” Jake tries to make Lyndie the source of his hope, but he soon discovers that even his powerful love for her isn’t enough to redeem him. Why do you think we’re so susceptible to looking for hope in sources apart from God?
Those of you who read the first two books in the Porter Family series might remember Amber Richardson’s appearance in Undeniably Yours. In A Love Like Ours Amber wrestles with waiting on God’s timing instead of giving in to the temptation to force her own timing. Has waiting on God’s timing ever been difficult for you?
After Lyndie and Jake’s first kiss, Lyndie struggles with her feelings for Jake because she knows he’s an unbeliever and that her hopes of him changing in the future might prove futile. Have you or your family members ever struggled with this dilemma?
What scenes from the book stick out most in your memory?
How did you feel about Lyndie’s decision at the end of the novel to give up her dream of jockeying Silver Leaf? What did her sacrifice prove about her character?
Becky Wade is a native of California who attended Baylor University, met and married a Texan, and moved to Dallas. She published historical romances for the general market, then put her career on hold for several years to care for her children. When God called her back to writing, Becky knew He meant for her to turn her attention to Christian fiction. She loves writing modern, h
umorous, heart-pounding contemporary romance. Her Christian fiction debut, My Stubborn Heart, was a finalist for both a RITA and INSPY Award, and the first Porter Family novel, Undeniably Yours, won the 2014 Carol Award for Romance. Becky lives in a suburb of Dallas with her husband and three kids.
To find out more about Becky and her books, visit www.beckywade.com.
Books by
Becky Wade
My Stubborn Heart
THE PORTER FAMILY NOVELS
Undeniably Yours
Meant to Be Mine
A Love Like Ours
www.beckywade.com/contact_me.html
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