“I hope you know she doesn’t mean it.” Hannah’s voice was so strained, he had to dip his head lower to hear her over the Bruno Mars song blasting from the dance floor.
“Mean what?” Isaac knew exactly what Hannah was talking about, but he wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to know if such a thing was even an option with them.
“What she said about us making up,” Hannah whispered. The flush stealing up her cheeks suggested that, although she didn’t repeat it, she was definitely thinking about the kissing part of the equation. “Especially since people are now starting to look this way. I should probably go check on...um...something.”
Her eyes darted around the room, but it was clear that there was nothing left for her to do tonight but relax and enjoy herself.
“I think Kylie’s right,” he told her, pulling her free hand into the crook of his arm. “You definitely need a distraction.”
Chapter Eleven
Hannah would’ve protested if Isaac had tried to lead her onto the dance floor at that exact moment. So it was a good thing he’d suggested taking a walk outside the ballroom, instead. On their way, they stopped at the bar in the lounge and she hung back while he ordered her another drink. Coming out, they saw that one of the small seating areas near the grand fireplace in the lobby was empty and, without much discussion, she soon found herself sinking into one of the velvet-upholstered club chairs opposite him.
With the cozy fire, the dim lighting and the small flickering candle on the low table between them, the scene was way too intimate for Hannah’s liking. Especially with Kylie’s words about needing a long make-out session still echoing in her ears. However, she also didn’t want it to seem like she was purposely avoiding him because that would only reinforce the awkwardness between them. She might as well get used to making small talk with the guy because, clearly, neither one of them was going anywhere.
“I can’t believe this place already has all their holiday decorations up,” Isaac said, taking the lead on the small talk as he nodded toward the fifteen-foot Christmas tree separating the lobby from the hotel’s registration desk. Fresh evergreen wreaths with red velvet bows were evenly spaced out just above the dark mahogany wainscoting along the walls, and a brass menorah stood proudly in the center of a display table under the wide window near the entrance, still waiting for its candles.
“Sammy said the same thing when we checked in on Wednesday.”
“So, then, did you have Thanksgiving dinner here?” he asked.
“Yeah. With all the wedding preparations going on, nobody in my family really wanted to cook. What about you and Jonesy? Did you guys do anything special?”
“I was on duty and the crew did a potluck at the station and invited a few of the local seniors who didn’t have anywhere else to go. Somehow, my uncle and Scooter talked Freckles into making her famous biscuits and a couple of sweet potato pies.” At this rate, they were going to be discussing their favorite stuffing recipes next. Isaac must’ve sensed the same thing because he leaned closer and rested his forearms on his knees. “Hannah, listen. I don’t know what’s going on between us. And, as much as you like to act as if you’re in control, I’m getting the feeling that you aren’t really sure, either. So maybe we should stop beating around the bush and just say whatever we feel and see where things take us.”
That was the problem. Hannah knew from experience where things would take them if she wasn’t careful. And she wasn’t quite sure that was a path she should go down again.
Sighing, she massaged her temples before diving in headfirst. “Just so you know, I don’t always get into heavy conversations with my son in front of puppies and strangers.”
“I’m not exactly a stranger, though, am I?” Isaac asked. His knowing stare and the strong outline of his chiseled jaw when he smiled weren’t making things any less intimate.
Hannah shivered, then shifted in her seat. “It’s just that I didn’t realize that Sammy was going to bring up his biological mother or my mom like that, and it was kind of an intense family conversation that he and I probably should’ve had in private.”
“You do that a lot.”
“Do what a lot?”
“Like to have conversations in private. Or not even have them at all.” He held up his palm when she leaned forward defensively. “Relax. I’m not bringing up the past. I’m just pointing out that you don’t like confrontation about your personal business. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You like peace and harmony and for everybody to be happy. It can be quite endearing, actually.”
“Careful, Isaac, or it might sound like you’re trying to give me a compliment.”
He rolled his eyes. “My point is that it’s okay for you to let your guard down in front of other people. Even me. The kid was being honest with his feelings and you don’t want to teach him to stifle those.”
He was right. She shouldn’t be ashamed that her son was straightforward about how he felt. As a mother, she wanted that for her child. It was just the bad timing of the whole thing. Hannah sank back into her chair, letting the heat from the fireplace lure her into a warm reprieve.
“Would it be incredibly nosy to ask you how his mom died?” Isaac’s eyes were sympathetic and his mouth formed a soft line of concern. Hannah knew that he was being sincere and not just looking for juicy details like many of the other people who’d asked the same question.
“He was an infant. She was only fifteen and was also an orphan at the children’s home. Nobody even knew the girl was pregnant until the night she gave birth.”
“How terrifying that must have been for her,” Isaac responded.
“I know. The director told me that the lack of prenatal care was a big factor. She had preeclampsia and the spike in her blood pressure caused her brain to just shut down.”
“And his father?”
“Nobody knew, since she’d recently arrived from another town and died so soon after giving birth. Normally, they don’t allow international adoptions if the child still has living family, so that was one of the reasons I was able to adopt Sammy. Well, that and the fact that I established residency by living in the village when I was a teacher there.”
After a long pause, Isaac lifted the corner of his mouth and said, “I can see why you would want to be his mother. Sammy is an incredible child.”
Hannah swallowed the lump of emotion that clogged her throat. If she wasn’t careful, her heart was going to be putty in Isaac’s hands once again. She blinked back a few tears, but her voice was raw when she said, “Thank you.”
“Speaking of mothers, how’s yours?” he asked, probably thinking he was doing her a favor by giving her a chance to unload about her mom. He wasn’t.
“She’s...well, she’s... I don’t know what to say.”
“Come on, Hannah. It’s okay to talk out loud to someone. Even to me.” It was almost as if he were daring her to open up, and damn if she wasn’t tired of holding it all in. Besides, she’d already discussed Sammy’s family situation, why couldn’t she talk about her own?
She took a sip of her champagne, the cold bubbles turning into a warm fizzle as it made its way to her tummy. “About six years ago, my mother went in for a mammogram and they found a small tumor. She had the lumpectomy and the radiation and hoped for the best. We all did. It was hard on her, but it was especially hard on my dad.
“A year and a half after that, they found the same thing, smaller this time, but in the same breast. Mastectomy, chemo, hormone treatments, she went through all of it and hated every second. It was way more intense the second time around, and really took a toll on her. But she fought hard and got through it.
“Afterward, she went into remission and got a clean bill of health at every follow-up appointment for the next couple of years. So she and my dad decided to celebrate by buying an RV and going on their dream trip, camping their way across America. I figu
red—we all figured—there was nothing left to worry about.
“The day they bought the motor home was the same day they bought me my plane ticket for Ghana. They knew I’d always wanted to teach abroad and that there was no way I would leave the country if there was even the slightest possibility that my mom was still sick.”
“You’re the ultimate caretaker, so I could see why they would think that.” Isaac nodded. “Then, if she was better, what happened?”
“Then...pow.” Hannah made the sound of an explosion because that’s what it had felt like when her dad picked her and Sammy up at the airport her mom already wasn’t feeling well enough to come meet her newest grandchild, despite the fact that Hannah had expedited the adoption process to get home sooner. “She’d been doing so well, we were all lulled into thinking that as long as her PET scan results were normal again, she was as good as cured. But now the cancer is showing up in the nearby lymph nodes.”
Isaac wasn’t even sure what to say. He felt awful for the Gregsons. “Man, that sucks.”
“You know what? You’re right.” Hannah felt the emotional dam she’d erected around her heart begin to quiver. “Usually, everyone wants to apologize or ask what’s going to happen or give a suggestion on what she should do, since their cousin or their neighbor or their mechanic’s wife had the same thing. Sometimes, it just feels good to hear someone say what we’re all thinking. It does suck.”
A blast of party music sounded behind them as one of the ballroom doors opened up, but it was only a wedding guest—someone from Carmen’s side of the family, Hannah assumed, since she didn’t recognize them—heading toward the lobby exit. She and Isaac should probably get back to the reception before anyone noticed that they were both gone. But Hannah didn’t feel like putting her happy-bridesmaid face back on just yet.
She felt like having some time to herself and drinking away her disappointments. She felt like being human and acknowledging her feelings, like relying on someone else for a change instead of always being the one to volunteer to fix the world’s injustices. Before Sammy came into her life, she’d known that being a single mom would come with very few breaks, and she wouldn’t trade that for all the vacations in the world. But since Drew had just texted her a picture of her son happily doing the Chicken Dance inside with his cousins, she pushed her guilt aside and used the few minutes she had free to finally get everything off her chest.
“The first time it happened, my mom didn’t want to tell anyone.” Hannah instinctively made a move to push a strand of hair off her forehead, only to realize that the hairdresser had used so much extra-firm spray, nothing had budged from the tight updo. A nervous chuckle escaped. “I guess avoiding unfortunate topics runs in my family.”
Instead of laughing at her self-deprecating joke, he stood up and moved his chair the short distance across the lobby rug so that it was right next to hers. He took her hand in his own, laced their fingers together and brought it up for a kiss. But he didn’t say anything. Which made Hannah more determined to keep talking, otherwise she would start thinking about how soft and warm his lips had felt on her skin.
“Anyway, it was easier for everyone in my family to not talk about it—even with each other. Well, besides my brother Drew, but he’s a psychologist and was on deployment. It was right after Luke’s first wife died and nobody wanted to think about the possibility of losing my mom, too. The second time, it was harder to keep quiet because everyone at my dad’s church started noticing that the youth pastor’s wife had been missing a lot of services. Some members thoughtfully tried to organize a dinner rotation and drop off meals for them, but my mom hated the extra attention.”
“And this time?” Isaac asked.
“This time,” Hannah started, but she had to choke down her sadness before she could continue. She lifted her glass to her lips for a swallow of champagne. “This time, she’s just done with fighting. She refuses to go through with any more intensive treatments. We don’t know how much longer she has, but the goal is to just keep her as happy and as comfortable as we can.”
“Hence the reason your brother didn’t want any tension between the two of us today in front of your mom.”
Hannah sighed. “That’s partly it.”
“And the other part?”
“This afternoon, right before we took the family pictures, my dad gave me and my brothers this big speech about how important it was for my mom to see all of her children settled down with steady career paths and families of their own. You know, happy with their life choices and all that.”
“And are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Settled down and happy with your life choices?”
“I think I am.” His fingers were playing with hers and the sensation was doing something weird and wobbly to her insides. “I mean, of course I am. I have the job I’ve always wanted and a wonderful son. What more could she want for me?”
Isaac was saved from answering by the appearance of Luke opening the ballroom doors. The groom, who had to be at least fifty yards away, cupped his hands and yelled out, “Time for all the single folks to try and catch the bouquet and the garter. That’s right, I’m talking to you two all cozy over there by the fireplace. Let’s go!”
Hannah buried her face in her palm. It would’ve been less obnoxious if Luke had just paid to display the same message in the marquee lights of the Remington Theater in downtown Sugar Falls. She finally raised her eyes to Isaac. “I am not going back in there until all the ridiculous matchmaking customs are over.”
“Why do you have to go in there at all?” Isaac’s voice was low and smooth and caused her lady parts to forget why she was out here in the first place.
“Well, I can’t very well stay in the lobby and have all the well-meaning busybodies looking for me. Plus, I should probably check on Sammy.”
Hannah rose to her feet, her arches protesting the resumed torture of her high heels. Isaac cupped her elbow as they slowly made their way toward the ballroom. Very slowly. As in, a box turtle could’ve made it there quicker.
He had no sooner opened the door for her than a boisterous cheer erupted. Hannah instinctively stepped in front of Isaac, as though she could hide him from view, as though the party guests wouldn’t already have figured out that they’d been together this whole time.
“Don’t worry.” Isaac’s breath tickled her ear as his hands came to rest on either side of her waist. “Your secret is still safe.”
It was true. Nobody had even noticed their return because everyone was too busy cheering for Monica Alvarez, who’d just caught the bouquet. Still, Hannah felt ashamed at his implication that she thought of their time together as some sort of secret, even though that was exactly how she’d just reacted. It was more about preserving her privacy.
“Hey, Chief Isaac, look.” Sammy ran up to them waving a scrap of fabric in his fist and Hannah tried not to frown at the fact that her son was more excited to talk to his new hero than to her. “The garter landed right on top of one of Uncle Luke’s friends. Right on his head. He wasn’t even trying to catch it because he said it was the same thing as catching a dog collar. So I asked him if I could have it and Pop Pop said we can take it out to the RV right now and give it to Big Dot. But if it’s too tight on her neck, she can only use it for chewing.”
Hannah rubbed at the crease forming above her nose when her father joined them. She knew she should’ve gotten a dog sitter instead of bringing the pup on the trip with them. “Dad, are you seriously going to let Carmen’s wedding garter be used as a chew toy for my dog?”
Jerry Gregson shrugged. “It’s not like Carmen needs it anymore. Come on, Sammy, let’s go take the girl for a walk before bedtime.”
“Have Grammie and Pop Pop call me if you need anything,” she told Sammy before giving him a kiss on his forehead. Then she gave him a hug. And another kiss.
Her eyes follo
wed her father and her son as they made their way to the lobby exit. She’d forgotten that Isaac was still propping the door to the ballroom open until he asked, “Is it his first night away from you?”
Hannah let out the breath she’d been holding and nodded as the DJ started a slow song. People were drifting toward the dance floor, but she wasn’t paying much attention since she kept looking over her shoulder to see if Sammy had forgotten anything. Or needed another goodnight kiss.
“So, are we going in or going out?” Isaac asked. “Or, if you want to just stand here all night, we can ask someone to find us a doorstop so my arm can take a break.”
“Sorry,” she said, giving her head a little shake as she tried to focus on her options.
Cessy Walker was tugging Jonesy’s arm as she pulled him onto the dance floor and Freckles lifted up a forkful of cake in a salute as she yelled from her table a few yards away. “Hey, Chief, isn’t this your song?”
It was then that she recognized the song playing as the same one they’d danced to at the VFW hall a couple of weekends ago. Hannah gulped. “I think I may still need a distraction. Preferably in a place where there’s a lot less people.”
“Luckily, I have access to somewhere a little more private.” Isaac smiled at her and Hannah’s knees went limp. She’d said exactly the same words to him ten years ago. Right before she’d invited him to the small boatshed behind the Gregson cabin and given him her virginity.
* * *
Isaac couldn’t believe Hannah was following him upstairs to his hotel room. Not that he was planning for anything to happen. Hell, he hadn’t even kissed her yet, although he’d been thinking about doing just that since the night of the VFW dinner dance. Down in the lobby, when he’d pulled his keycard out of his pocket and asked if she wanted to go somewhere more private, he wasn’t sure what his intention had been, other than to give her a few moments to get herself composed after that heavy conversation they’d shared about her mom.
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