The music started again, Garrett tilted his head, and she nodded. She was about to follow him when someone stepped up beside her.
Reagan.
He took her by the hand and went in the opposite direction, toward the side exit leading out to the Cantina’s parking lot. She should have protested. She should at least have dug in her heels and made it more difficult for him to walk off with her like this. But she couldn’t help wanting to know why he was here and what he wanted with her.
Outside in the lot, he released her hand when they reached a parked truck she recognized as Cole Slater’s. She frowned, puzzled. He had leaned back against the pickup with his arms folded.
He said nothing. She was used to his silences but wanted more than that now. She wasn’t about to let him drag her from the dance floor just to leave her standing here in front of him. “Well?” she demanded.
“You know what the guys in here tonight are looking for, don’t you? You’re too good for all of them.”
Her mouth dropped open. She snapped it shut again. She tried not to think about the hollowness in the pit of her stomach. This was all he wanted? “I’m choosing to accept you meant that as a compliment, but I don’t think I like where you’re going with it. And it’s none of your business, anyway.”
She scanned the parking lot to make sure no one else was in earshot, then leaned forward and said quietly, “Sleeping with me once—or a dozen times—doesn’t give you the right to decide who I can go out with.”
“You’re dating that creep?”
“You know Garrett’s not a creep. And what I’m doing isn’t your business, either.” She forced a laugh. “I don’t have to answer to you or anyone else, Reagan. I don’t have to be anything to you or anyone. In fact, I don’t even have to be with you anymore.”
As sad as the words made her feel, as much as they hurt, she knew she’d had to say them. She needed to follow her heart—as soon as it finished breaking and she pieced it back together again.
She needed to tell Reagan a lot of things he wouldn’t want to hear. After all the years she’d spent waiting for him, she owed herself that.
She only hoped she could hold on to her temper as fiercely as she was hanging on to her self-respect.
“You’re the one who came after me tonight,” she reminded him evenly, “not the other way around. I’ve got plenty of pride, you know. I’m done chasing you. I’m done waiting for you. I’m done being anyone but myself—no matter which self I choose to be.” She laughed again, and this time she didn’t have to fake it. “You know, it’s ironic, but you were right. I can’t keep my life on hold anymore. It is time for me to move on. To face the truth.”
She edged closer to him and lowered her voice. “But what about you, Reagan?”
He shifted his feet, resettled his crossed arms. He wanted to run, but she would be darned if she would back away and let him off that easy.
“What do you mean?” he asked finally.
“It was obvious you didn’t want me with Garrett—‘that creep,’ as you called him. But you claim you don’t want me, either. You can’t face the truth. You refuse to see how much you’re kidding yourself.” Her voice broke. She had to wait a moment before she could continue. “All along, I’ve been honest about my feelings. About loving you. But you won’t even admit you care.”
“I’ve already told you the truth. I’m not getting involved or sticking around.”
“You’re still not hearing what I’m saying.”
“Maybe you’re the one not listening. Ally, I’ve been clear about everything. From the beginning.” He sidestepped and lowered his arms.
She hadn’t realized how close she’d been to him, how much she had felt the heat of him, until he’d distanced himself from her.
He took another step away. “We... Considering how we left things today, I think it’s best I pick up Sean from now on. I won’t need your help with the baby anymore.”
The glow of party lanterns strung around the parking lot burned her eyes. She blinked several times. Took a deep breath. Nodded. “Then give Sean all my love,” she told him. “Since you don’t want any of it, I have a lot left over.”
Even as she turned and walked away with her head held high, the already broken pieces of her heart shattered.
She had waited for Reagan and loved him and made love with him. She had done all she could. And it wasn’t enough. He was never going to wake up and see the truth.
* * *
EARLY FRIDAY MORNING, a few days after his trip to the Cantina, Reagan eyed the coffeemaker in frustration. He had never realized how slowly a pot brewed. Maybe it was more sluggish than usual this morning since he’d made this batch so strong. He would need the added caffeine to get him through the long day ahead. To keep him awake after his even longer night.
He’d had plenty of nights like that one in the past few days, but his mornings hadn’t gotten off to such a fast and busy start until now, thanks to his boss.
He glanced down at Sean, lying in the playpen and looking as slow and sluggish as his daddy and the brewing coffee. “We’re going to be a fine pair today, aren’t we? At least at Mrs. B’s, you’ll get a chance to sleep.”
Reagan would have to stay awake, which was why he’d need the strong coffee. He had to put in a lot of time on the road.
A lot of time in which most of his thoughts would be of Ally.
Still, the phone call from his boss this morning had given him a few other things to think about.
Like Reagan, the sales manager who handled New Mexico was on vacation. Lucky for the other man, he was in Hawaii. Along with some positive reinforcement—and the faintest hint of a threat about Reagan’s dwindling vacation hours—his boss had convinced him to visit a potential and very promising customer.
“This is a big opportunity I don’t want to miss,” the man had said. “And you’re right there, anyway. The client’s in the far northwest corner of the state. Any man I could send would run up a few hundred miles. You’ll be saving him—and me in the long run, since I pay gas bills for all my employees,” he added pointedly.
“No problem,” Reagan had told him, though it was more of a problem than it would have been a few days ago, when he’d had babysitting coverage all day long.
His day job wasn’t one he might have chosen if life had been perfect, but life would never be that. Still, like his dad, he took pride in his work. And he needed to provide for his son. He had told Ally about the lean times, when his parents had struggled to put enough food on the table. He just hadn’t mentioned how often they’d faced that situation. He would never let Sean experience that. Not if he could help it.
“Send me the details,” he had told his boss.
Now the phone rang again. He frowned. The details were supposed to come by email, not phone. He checked the display. Recognizing the number on it, he immediately tensed. Was this call going to ruin his plans for the day?
He heard the worry in Mrs. B’s gasped breath before she even spoke a word. “Reagan, dear, I’m so sorry to do this to you, but I won’t be able to watch the baby today. I’m...um...indisposed.”
He recognized the polite word for “feeling sick.”
“That’s okay, Mrs. B. You just worry about taking care of yourself. Get in touch whenever you’re up to it, and meanwhile, I’ll make other arrangements for Sean.”
We’ll probably need to get another babysitter.
Damn. The last time he’d replayed Ally’s words was the afternoon when Cole had called to invite him along to the Cantina. What a mistake it had been to accept that invitation. But now, it made him think of Cole...and Tina. Tina would watch Sean for him.
As if she’d read his mind, Mrs. B said, “Jed said... I mean, I’m sure one of Jed’s girls would be happy to sit with the baby. Here, I’ve got the number f
or the Hitching Post. Have you got something to write with?”
“Yeah.” He dragged over the pad he’d used to take down some notes from the conversation with his boss. “Ready.”
He got the number from Mrs. B, told her again to feel better and assured her he would call the hotel. He didn’t have much choice.
He wondered what Mrs. B had meant when she started to say, “Jed said...” No doubt, he’d find out when he got to the hotel.
He had almost finished tapping out the number for the Hitching Post when it occurred to him he could have redialed Cole’s call from the other night. He hadn’t heard from Cole since that evening. Oddly enough, he hadn’t seen a sign of Jed Garland, either.
And, of course, he hadn’t talked to Ally. He pushed that thought out of his mind and focused on his current disaster.
Even as early as it was, Cole would be out on the ranch already, working.
The way he would have been if he’d never gone to college. Never met Elaine. Never had Sean.
Regardless of all the bad things that had come of his decision to leave Cowboy Creek for school, he could never regret having his son.
The main number of the hotel was answered promptly by a voice he recognized.
“Jed, this is Reagan. Good morning. I’ve got myself in a jam here.” Before the man could ask—and he would ask—Reagan told him the story. “So,” he finished, “I was hoping one of your granddaughters could help me out.”
“Well, I’m afraid a couple of the girls have gone off to Santa Fe for the day.”
“At this hour?” he blurted.
“They’re going shopping once they get up there, then for lunch and then more shopping. More than enough said, I’d reckon.” The man laughed.
“Maybe I can try to contact Layne.”
“Nope. Cole said she’s headed out of town with her husband and kids, too.”
He searched his memory. “How about Shay O’Neill?”
The man laughed harder. “Son, where was your head the other day when we were talking about her at the barbecue? She’s not an O’Neill anymore, and she’s just had three babies of her own.”
“Right. Layne told me that. I forgot. Well, I guess I’ll take Sean with me.” Not the best idea. Walking into a potential customer’s office with a baby in his arms wasn’t going to make the client or his boss happy, which in turn wouldn’t do much for his job security. Come to think of it, his son might not like it, either. They had both been up half the night, and Sean would need a few extra naps.
“You’ve got a long ride even one way,” Jed objected. “And then you’ve got to drive back. Out in the hot sun all day long, that’s not good for a newborn.”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right, Reagan,” Jed said. “You need to give that some thought.”
“I will.”
“But don’t fret. Tina’s here.”
“She is?” He hesitated. He had thought of her originally. “But she’s got Robbie and a new baby to take care of.”
“Don’t worry, between Tina and Paz and me, we’ll have plenty of folks pitching in to watch the babies.”
“Great. Then I’ll be there in about a half hour.” He hung up the phone and turned to Sean. “Sorry to drop you off for the day, little man. But daddy’s got a job—and a lot of thinking—to do.”
About Ally.
Since their last conversation, he had sworn he would get this house emptied out and ready to sell and get himself out of here. Yet he hadn’t made much progress.
His thoughts had been jumbled for days now, but every so often he’d get hold of a piece of something that seemed it might form a pattern, like the pieces of souvenir T-shirts Mom had cut up and turned into a quilt.
Slowly, much too slowly, he put all those pieces together and had finally come to his senses—about everything.
About those times he’d told Ally more than he’d intended to, more than he’d even realized he knew himself at that point.
Times he kept assuring himself he’d wanted what was best for her...he was only looking out for her...he didn’t want her to get hurt.
Times he wanted her and told himself it was just about sex.
Times he made it clear he cared about her, but that was it...
Yeah, he’d come to his senses—a little too late—and realized what he should have understood a long time before now.
He did more than care about Ally.
A lot more.
* * *
REAGAN FELT EAGER to get on the road so he could get back home again.
At the Hitching Post, Jed greeted him and Sean and led them into the sitting room, where Tina’s newborn lay in a portable playpen.
“You just put that little fella in with her,” Jed said, “and the two of them will have a nice chat.”
Reagan laughed. “I’m sure they will.”
“I’ve got good news for you. We’ll have an extra pair of hands around here to help out. Somebody who’s got time off from her day job today. And she’s been trained to work with kids, so you’re all set.”
“Great. What’s her name?”
“Ally Martinez.”
“Jed—”
“Son,” the man said, as if he hadn’t spoken, “whether or not you realize it, I’m doing you a good turn, something I venture to say you could use. I heard it looked like you two had words at the Cantina a few nights ago.”
Jeez. The man had spies everywhere.
“But,” Jed went on, “if this trip you’re taking is important to you and you want your son in good hands, you shouldn’t let your pride stand in the way.”
I’ve got plenty of pride, you know. I’m done chasing you.
Reagan swore under his breath. If Jed only knew.
Heck, knowing Jed, he probably already did. Tina and Ally were best friends. What were the chances the conversation he’d had with Ally at the Cantina hadn’t been repeated?
He heard the sound of the hotel’s front door being opened and closed, then the tapping of footsteps in the lobby. Evidently, Jed did, too.
“If you’ll excuse me...” he said hurriedly, not bothering to wait for Reagan’s response before turning to leave the room.
The man must be expecting fireworks, or he would never have taken off in such a rush.
He heard the murmur of Jed’s deeper voice and Ally’s lighter reply.
Reagan looked down at Sean, now staring up at him from the playpen, his blue eyes half closed in sleep. “Hey, little man. You remember what we talked about the other day, about Ally not being your babysitter anymore? Just for today, it looks like you might get to see her again, after all.”
Eyes open now, Sean kicked his legs and waved his arms.
Reagan wished he could feel half that enthusiastic about the conversation ahead.
Chapter Eighteen
Ally fully believed what she had told Reagan. She needed to stop putting her life on hold.
And yet four days later, when Tina had called her with the news of his request for a babysitter, her heart had given a little jolt. That didn’t mean she wanted to see Reagan. Her wounded pride could take only so much, and it refused to allow her to run after him again.
But as unready as she felt to face him, once Tina explained the situation he was in, Ally couldn’t say no to spending her day off at the Hitching Post. She couldn’t turn down what might be her last time to see Sean.
When she crossed the lobby with Jed, he left her to go down the hallway to the hotel kitchen. She clamped her fingers on the sack from SugarPie’s holding the sweet rolls she had brought with her. The way to a man’s heart, as Mama and Paz would say.
She was beginning to wonder if Reagan had a heart.
Hers bea
t wildly as she stepped into the sitting room and met his gaze without blinking. Without saying a word.
He looked at her, glanced at the sack, then blurted, “It’s not Saturday.”
“No, it’s not,” she said coolly. “But having Sugar’s sweet rolls on a Saturday isn’t a ritual with me. I can eat them any day of the week.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He shifted his key ring from one hand to the other. “Jed said you’ll be giving Tina a hand with the kids. I was surprised to hear you were off for the day, it being Friday.”
“I took a vacation day,” she said evenly.
“Nice. My days are getting used up fast. That’s partly why I’m working today.”
He seemed rattled and definitely more talkative than usual. Ironic, considering all the hours she had spent trying to get him to open up.
“Well,” she said, “I’m here now. If you’d like to get going...”
...if you wouldn’t mind leaving the room...
How could it be that, only a few days ago, they had made love and she had been so happy and content, and then everything had fallen apart so quickly?
He turned to say goodbye to Sean.
This might be the last time she would see Reagan, too. Deliberately, she focused on his profile. Dark hair, blue eyes, solid jaw, strong shoulders. It was as if she were taking inventory at the store, making a list of things she needed to order. A list of things she just needed.
He was taking his time. Why didn’t he leave, already?
As if he heard her thoughts, he said, “Maybe you’d better say hi to Sean before I go. He hasn’t seen you in a while.”
Her throat tightened. Her stomach did a crazy flip. She had been avoiding this moment, wanting to wait until Reagan was on his way before she approached the baby.
She joined Reagan beside the playpen.
Sean showed his excitement the way tiny babies did, the way she had seen him do before, flailing his arms upward and kicking his feet in tandem. Her heart raced at the sight of him. Smiling, she leaned down to take him into her arms. She wanted to close her eyes and cuddle him close and inhale his fresh baby scent.
The Rancher's Baby Proposal Page 17
