by Mays, Nikki
“Of course not. He’s an asshole, not brain dead. I overheard a conversation Mellie and Shell were having. Shell was telling her why she wanted to get her boobs done. He really did a number on her those years that they were together. After she finally left his ass, she wouldn’t go out on a date for a good year and a half. She was a shadow of her former self. She would barely smile throughout that entire relationship. And any that she did give were completely false. It took her a long time to become okay with herself again.”
“Shit.” Is the only thing that I can say. I roughly scrub my hands down my face. “I’m such an asshole. I scared those other fools away from her, making her think that there was something wrong with her.” Wow, I feel like shit right now.
“Yeah, that could’ve gone a bit better. I really didn’t think that it would take you two fucking years to pull your head out of your ass. Otherwise, I would’ve told you to just leave them alone.” Marc says with a grimace while rubbing the back of his neck.
“Why did you let it go on like that for so long?” Darren asks and I’m curious as hell too.
“Honestly?” Marc asks us and we both shake our heads affirmative. “It was the way he looked at her. Like she was everything that he’s ever wanted in this world. Like he would chew off his own tongue and arm before he would ever use those to cause her any damage. Like she was the only bright spot in a sea of darkness.”
Well if he didn’t hit the nail on the head. Morris warned me how creepy and insightful the gigantic bastard could be, I just didn’t really believe him until now. I am now extremely curious as to what exactly he did for Uncle Sam over the years. Green eyes that are normally guarded are now wide open and peering into my soul. And people think that I’m the creepy one in the group. Marc has me beat by a mile.
“Ah, okay,” Darren says looking uncomfortable. Join club pal. “So, do you think that he could’ve had something to do with this?”
“I doubt it. He’s been out of the picture for years. Maybe check some of the clients from their shop. I heard Shell bitching about some bridezilla before. We all know women can be petty as hell.” Marc says while looking at me. I go to tell Darren to check out the douchebag exe when Marc shakes his head no at me. Huh, okay.
“Alright, well I’ll go ask the ladies for a list of their clients. I’ll let you know when you can have this place cleaned up.” Darren says before shaking both of our hands and walking out.
“Wanna tell me why we shouldn’t be looking into her ex?” I ask Marc genuinely curious.
“I never said that we (he points between the two of us) shouldn’t check him out. I said that he (pointing at Darren’s retreating back) shouldn’t.” He says with a smirk.
“Okay, I’ll bite, since you’re obviously chomping at the bit here. Why shouldn’t the very capable detective check him out?” I ask the man who looks way too excited for his own good.
“What I may have accidentally left out is that Gerry was working for an alarm company when Shell was dating him.” He says.
“And?” I give him a look as to say why does it matter. He just rolls his eyes at me in return.
“She’s not dating you for your brains is she?” Marc asks like a dick. “It’s relevant because obviously someone had to be able to get past the alarm system that she has. I would put money on the fact that this was probably not the first time that someone has been in here. How many times has shit been not right here and at the shop?” He says with a smug ass look on his face. But motherfucker he’s right. We all really just thought that it’s been him messing with the girls.
“It really wasn’t you?” I ask just to make sure. You really never know with him. He likes to annoy them way too much to be normal.
“No, after I got her and Mel back I was pretty content. Then they kept saying how shit has been moved and I purposely haven’t done anything to keep track of when it happens. There’s somewhat of a pattern, I’m just not sure of what it means. Hence, why I think that it’s time that you and Dec dust off your twin spooking skills.” He says with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
“You’re a lot more intelligent than any of us give you credit for, aren’t you?” I ask the man I’m beginning to fear a bit.
“I’ve always found that it’s better to be underestimated. People can’t stop what they don’t expect.” He says with a straight face.
“And your childish behavior with the girls?” I question. He gives me a genuine smile.
“I grew up dealing with barbies, Polly pockets, makeup, sleepovers and boy talk. It is my God given right to give those two shit. You have a brother. You have absolutely no idea of the horrors that I’ve faced with them. One word...tampons. You’ll just never understand man.” He says with a shudder.
“You act as they tortured you. They’re just two tiny girls.”
“It’s a hell all its own growing up with girls. I still keep an app on my phone keeping track of when they each get their periods so that I don’t accidentally come upon them during shark week without making sure that I have wine and chocolate on me.” Marc replies.
“You’re completely ridiculous,” I tell him with disgust.
“You’ll just never get it. Ask Rocco...he’ll tell you. It’s probably why he’s so easy going. His sisters have probably broken him down so much over the years that he has nothing left.” He says while shaking his head sadly.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. We have gotten way too far off course. “Anyway, besides your need for therapy, is there anything else?”
“Nope, I’ve already got an idea how to handle this.” He tells me.
“Are we going to end up in one of our jail cells?” I ask warily.
“Not if you do everything I say, exactly how I tell you to do it.” He says simply. I have a feeling that I’m going to regret this.
Chapter 8
Damon
I knew that I was going to regret ever asking Marc for help. Did I listen to my gut when it said Don’t trust that fool? Nope...not me. I went right along with his damn plan with very little resistance. Being the great brother that I am, I even dragged Declan along for the ride. Sitting here in JJ’s office with him staring the three of us down, I’m really regretting my decision. Alright, not fully regretting it, just regretting getting caught.
I, in no way, shape or form regret terrorizing that pissant of an ex. Judging by the looks on Marcs and Dec's faces, I’m pretty sure that they feel the same exact way. Morris and Rocco are sitting behind us looking just as smug as I wish I could look right now. But the scowl on JJ’s face is making sure that I keep my expression blank. I’m not dumb enough to piss him off any more than we already have.
“So,” JJ says while giving us a look that would have lesser men shitting themselves. “Would any of you genius’ like to explain how Michelle’s ex-ended up in the hospital but is now suddenly too frightened to press charges?” JJ finishes his question with his back straight and his muscular arms crossed on his chest. He looks each of us over with pure menace in his eyes.
It is definitely a good question. A question that I’m sure none of us really want to answer. I mean, there’s really the no good way to explain how you had a part in someone getting hit by a car and fracturing several bones. It was somewhat gratifying to watch though. Just because I’m a cop doesn’t mean that my dark side just disappeared. His screams really will fuel happy daydreams for many years to come. I know...I’m demented...at least I’m self-aware.
“No one wants to answer?” He asks. Does he really think any of us want to put our foot any further into our mouths? “Okay, how about I go over the recent events and you all can tell me if I got anything wrong? How about we do that?” He hisses at us. I have a feeling that he’s not actually waiting for us to reply at this point.
“Hmmm, okay let’s see. I’m going to going to go out on a limb here and say that you three.” He says while pointing at Marc, Declan and I. “Are the main instigators in this debacle and you two (pointing at Morris and Rocco) are
the follow-ups. How am I doing so far?” Again, I have a feeling that he really doesn’t want us to answer. But of course, my twin is a moron.
“Why do you think that I’m involved? I could be an innocent bystander in all of this.” Declan says with a sniff. n
JJ’s head does a slow sweep to look at Declan as he finishes his statement. If looks could kill, I would finally be an only child. Declan wisely decides to keep his trap shut. I just scrub my hand down my face, noting that I am in desperate need of a shave. I’ve gone past scruff territory and am now in beard mode.
“Anyway.” JJ starts again while giving Declan one last meaningful look. “So you three imbeciles decided that tormenting her ex would be a lot better of an idea instead of just having someone else question him? Am I in the ballpark here? What I can’t comprehend is how he ended up getting hit by a fucking car but is too terrified to press charges against you three. Even though several witnesses saw you jackasses there!” He ends his rant on a huff. His face is getting progressively redder and I’m starting to worry that his blood pressure is getting dangerously high.
“In our defense, that car came out of nowhere,” Declan states with wide eyes. He has a point. That fucking thing literally appeared out of thin air. I mean, were we a bit preoccupied with trying to get Gerry the douchebag to piss himself? Sure. But still, no one saw that car coming. Just bad luck all around.
“I can’t believe that there were so many witnesses.” I hear Marc mumble beside me. Regrettably so does JJ. His head is twisting around so much he looks like he could that chick from the Exorcist a run for her money. If he starts puking up pea soup I’m fucking out of here.
“Yes Marc, I can see how you would be distraught about having so many witnesses to your illegal behavior.” The sarcasm coming from JJ is so thick that you would need a hatchet to cut through it.
“I don’t believe any of it was illegal. It’s not like we purposely pushed the jerkoff in front of the car. That was a completely happy accident. One I’m sure was orchestrated by Karma herself.” Marc states while wearing a self-satisfied grin. I do agree with him though. That was an extremely happy accident. Too bad no one recorded it. I would watch that shit on repeat.
“Marc will you please quit while we’re already behind.” Morris coughs out behind us.
“None of it was illegal?” JJ asks with a raised eyebrow. “Last I checked, stalking was illegal. Threatening someone is illegal. Having that person end up in the hospital is pretty damn illegal!”
“Okay let’s break this down. Then we can all see how it wasn’t truly illegal.” Marc says like this is just a random conversation. I’m beginning to think that this fool is just straight up insane.
“Please do break this down for us, would you. I’m dying to find out how my officers haven’t been engaging in anything illegal. The suspense is killing me.” JJ deadpans.
Marc sits up making sure that we can all see and hear him. Considering this office is the size of a closet, that Isn't too hard. “First, the sarcasm really isn’t necessary.” Marc starts while holding up one finger. JJ’s eye starts twitching and I’m starting to think that we might end up digging a huge ass hole for the crazy sasquatch sitting next to me.
“Second.” Marc continues while studiously ignoring the fire coming from JJ’s twitching eyes. “We weren’t really stalking Gerry. We just casually ended up being in a few of the same places. There is really no solid proof that we were stalking him.”
Marc has a point. It’s not like we left any creepy letters or anything tangible. We did just happen to be at a few, okay more than a few, places that he happened to be at. Alright, we were there every-time he turned around. But he can’t prove that he saw us everywhere that he went. Which really is the most important thing here.
“Third there hasn’t been any threats made that I know of.” Marc looks at Declan and then me as he says this while making sure to never look at the two men behind us. “And fourth, it is not our fault that sack of shit isn’t coordinated enough to walk across the street without getting run over by a car. Last I checked, most parents teach that to their kids at an early age. If anyone is to blame, it’s his parents.”
JJ looks like he’s about to reach across his desk and strangle Marc. “His parents are to blame for this?” JJ questions in a low voice.
“Yup.” Maybe Marc has a death wish.
That eye is still twitching and now his jaw is grinding. It sounds like he’s about to crack a molar. “And how in the hell are his parents to blame,” JJ asks looking like he’s barely holding on.
“They should’ve used a condom,” Marc says without a care in the world. Snorts and coughs sound out all around me. It’s taking every ounce of willpower that I have to keep my face carefully blank. I’m about to try to diffuse the situation because let's face it, Marc’s coming closer and closer to the grim reaper, just as the door bursts open.
“What in the holy hell did you guys do?” Shell screeches at us from the doorway with her partner is bad decisions right next to her. Where my Doll looks upset with us, Mellie is looking like the cat who ate the canary. She looks downright joyful.
“Honestly. Can’t leave you guys alone for a minute.” Mel says with fake sternness. Luckily Michelle is too preoccupied to realize that her best friend is not sharing her moral outrage.
“I can’t believe that you pushed him in front of a car. You could’ve killed him!” Shell says still using a high-pitched screech that would make a dog howl.
“We’re not that lucky,” Mel mumbles causing everyone to snort out a laugh. Even JJ cracks a smile. Michelle whips her head around towards Mel and glares daggers at her.
“You’re not helping.”
“I never said that I was going to.” Mel simply states. “I’m just here to pick up Morris and Marc, to take them out for a beer.” She ignores Michelle’s furious glare in her direction as she steps further into the room. “The rest of you guys are invited too.” She says to Dec, Rocco and I before she pauses at the look on JJ’s face. “Maybe not so much you today.” She points to JJ. “But the rest of you, drinks are on me.”
Shell’s standing there with a dumbfounded look on her face. “You’re taking them out for beers? You’re going to congratulate them on their stupid behavior? You don’t see anything wrong with this?”
Mel tilts her head to the side while looking at Michelle. “He lived.” She says with a careless shrug.
“He lived?” Michelle’s sputters. I finally lose the battle and start chuckling darkly. I knew there was a reason while Mellie never bothered me as much as other people do.
“Yeah.” Mel shrugs again. “We all know that the world would be a better place without that verbally abusive piece of shit in it. I’m sure that you didn’t even tell me half of the shit that he actually said to you and I couldn’t care less if he died. He is probably the biggest waste of life and knowing that you’ve kept things to yourself that was most likely horrific, makes me hate him even more. So, yeah, I’m buying all of the beer because they came close to making this best day ever. Screw it, this definitely makes my top five.”
“What do you mean verbally abusive?” JJ asks in a dark tone. That’s right. We haven’t gotten to the part where we explained to JJ why we decided to toy with Gerry a bit. We should’ve started with that when we sat down, instead of just letting him think that we would do this to any of her exes. No, there was a good reason with him.
“Ah...nothing.” Shell squeaks while she blushes profusely.
Marc whips his head around to look at her. “Really? Nothing?”
“Yes, Marc. Nothing.” Michelle hisses at him.
“Hmmm, okay, why did you get your boobs done?” Marc asks.
If looks could kill, Michelle would be slicing him into tiny pieces. “It wasn’t just because he made fun of me for having small boobs. They were less than an A cup. I looked like a damn board from the side. I did my boobs for me shithead.”
Wait a fucking minute. I turn my he
ad so that I’m looking directly into Doll’s eyes. “Would you like to explain how he made fun of you?”
“He wasn’t saying anything that wasn’t true. And Marc and Mellie have said the same things over the years.” Doll explains.
“We never meant it maliciously.” Mel pipes in. “It the same thing about you making jokes about my lack of coordination.”
Michelle quirks her eyebrow and tilts her head in Marc's direction with her arms crossed. Mellie looks in his direction and pauses.
“Okay, fine, you have me there. But we both know that he’s just an asshole. He’s always been one, so he doesn’t count.” Mel states.
“He’s sitting right here.” Marc sulks. “I also mean everything with love.” Everyone sputters out a laugh. “What? I do. Just because I like to make them miserable doesn’t mean that I would allow anyone else to. I suffered through both of them going through puberty together. I deserve a damn medal. If it makes me happy to torment them, you can all fuck off.” He slouches down into his chair like a petulant child.
Shaking my head at the man-child next to me, I look over at Doll again. “Exactly how long were you with this douchebag?”
“Two years.” She answers.
“One year and three hundred and sixty-four days too many,” Mel replies. She looks over at Michelle. “Don’t give me that nasty ass look. He acted shady almost immediately. No one liked him. Hell, my mom even hated him and she tries to like everyone. That should’ve been your first clue that he was a waste of time. When he didn’t get invited to Sunday dinner with our families, you should’ve ditched his metrosexual, wannabe lumberjack ass right away. I mean really. Never trust a man bun.”
“What’s your problem with a man bun?” Rocco asks. Why that’s the important part of what she just said to him I’ll never know. I hope that he’s not thinking of doing one. I’ll purposely find a way to cut it off.
“Nothing if it’s done correctly,” Mellie replies.
