by C. M. Fenn
When she removes her hands from my knees, I gasp. Through the torn holes in my pajamas, I’m able to see that both knees are completely scabbed over. Around the edges of the scabs is the fresh pink of newly healed skin. I’m amazed at first, but then I remember this is a dream and so anything is possible.
She’s working on my hands now and that warm, tingly feeling begins again. When she’s finished, I see it’s had the same effect as it did on my knees. She turns my face from side to side until she finds a cut above my left eyebrow. When she’s finished healing it, she places her hands on my rib cage and concentrates, relieving much of the pain there.
“That was amazing. Thank you, Mel, I feel much better now.” She beams with pride but I can see she’s worn out from the effort.
I pat the sofa cushion next to me, motioning Mel to sit. She sits carefully and lays her head back, closing her eyes. She sighs deeply, “Haven’t had to do that in a while. I really should practice more. Anyway, Boss will kill me if I don’t get your information before you go top-side.”
“What do you mean ‘top-side’?” I ask. So much has happened and so much has been said that I don’t understand.
“Top-side, Earth-side, call it what you like. When you wake back up, leave Chaos, and go back to your Earth-side existence. It could happen anytime, and Boss wants to be sure we know who you are and where to find you.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.
“You’re one of us now, a Realmwalker. Welcome to the family. Anyway, Crank and I can spend all night explaining everything to you, but it’s all moot if we don’t know how to find you top-side. You’ll continue to believe you’re having wild dreams, and that can really hinder the training process.”
Training process? Earth-side existence? My head is spinning. Mel sees my perplexed expression and smirks knowingly.
Crank tries to reassure me. “It’s confusing, yes. It will be this way for the first few nights, but trust me, it will get easier.” He cocks his head to the side.
“Where are you from, Adelaide? I mean, we’re pretty sure we’ve got it narrowed down. Angel has sensed you getting closer to us this last week, but it’s always hard for her to nail it down exactly. She was guessing Southwest America. She’s good like that. Oh, and what’s your last name? We’ll need your address too, and phone number.” His leg starts bouncing up and down as he talks faster. “We’ll probably want to know who you live with too. And where you work. Do you own a car? What’s your favorite color? That’s not something we have to know—I’m only curious.”
“Slow down, Crank! Give the girl a chance to answer.” Mel gives me an apologetic smile. “You’ll have to forgive him, he’s … hyper. He’s like a Chihuahua on crack sometimes.”
I laugh out loud at the mental image, but I stop quickly when I see Crank’s injured expression.
“I’m sorry, Crank. I’m not laughing at you, just at the image of a Chihuahua on crack,” I explain. This seems to pacify him.
It’s bizarre to me that I feel protective of Crank’s feelings. I mean, I know this is only a dream but I feel so invested in these two people. I’ve only just met them but I feel inextricably tied to them. It’s similar to the way this place, Minor Calm, feels so much like home. These people feel dear to me in a way I’ve never felt before—not even for Tori or any of my other friends, for that matter. I know I’ll miss Mel and Crank when I wake up. Though this definitely started out as a nightmare, it’s turned into something beautiful and amazing and I’m sad to think of it ending.
“My name is Adelaide Shepherd—Addy for short. I’m from America. I live in a town called Queen Creek in the state of Arizona.” I tell them my address, home phone number, and the number to my cell.
“I’m seventeen years old. I’m a senior in high school, at least for the next two weeks. I live with my Mom. I have an older sister, Jana, who lives in Flagstaff, Arizona. She’s going to college there but she visits often. I drive an old, beat-up truck. It’s light blue and there’s rust on the hood. I don’t have a job, and my favorite color is light green.” I take a second to breathe. “Did I cover everything?”
Crank gets up and walks over to what looks like a large flat-screen television on one of the walls. It lights up when he taps the screen.
“Let’s see …” he says as he pulls up an image of planet Earth. He spins it around to the Western Hemisphere with his finger then touches the North American continent. The image zooms in drastically until a very realistic-looking satellite image of North America fills the screen. He mutters under his breath, “United States … Arizona …” Each time he touches the map it zooms in further. When he finds Queen Creek, Arizona, I’m able to see tiny lights all over the city. It’s an image of my town at night. Even though it’s dark, I recognize certain structures.
“Hey look, there’s my school!” I’ve seen programs on the Internet that let you view satellite pictures of your town, but this is different. The picture is so clear and detailed. As I try to find my house, I notice a few lights in the streets are moving. Are those cars? That’s when I realize this image wasn’t taken sometime in the past. I’m viewing my hometown as it is, right now.
“Whoa! How are we seeing this? Wouldn’t you have to have access to a satellite? I didn’t think just anyone could do that. Don’t you have to be part of the government or something like that?”
Crank grins at me and winks conspiratorially. “We can access any satellite at any time. We’re cool like that.” He brushes some pretend dust off his shoulders. Pointing to some data along the bottom of the screen, he says, “It says here that in your hometown, right now, as we are speaking, it’s 5:46 a.m.” He pulls up an input bar and types in my address. The map zooms in once more and I see an aerial view of my home. From the glow of a street lamp, I can see my truck parked in the driveway next to my mom’s white compact sedan. If it really is 5:46 in the morning, my alarm clock is due to go off in less than an hour.
“So, I’m supposed to be sleeping in there? Right now?” I ask dubiously.
“Unless you sleep walk.” Mel says next to me. “Hey, Crank, can you start a new file for Addy while you’re in the system? And could you input all her data?”
“Would you like me to repeat it? Or write it down somewhere?” I ask Crank.
He shakes his head no and taps his forehead. “Eidetic memory. It’s one of the beautiful things about Chaos. We all have it.”
“Is that like a photographic memory?” I ask.
He explains as he types my data into a file on the screen. “Even better than that. Photographic memory means you can remember images with exact detail. We, however, can not only perfectly recall images, but also sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. It comes in pretty handy.” He’s typing rapidly, and I can’t help but be impressed at his ability to multi-task.
I’m beginning to grow frustrated with how much I don’t understand about this dream, so I turn to Mel. “What is Chaos exactly? And what are Calms?”
Mel rubs her temples as she thinks. “I’m not sure how much to tell you now. You’re still convinced you’re having a dream, which means you won’t take anything I tell you as the truth. I’m tempted to not tell you anything until you accept you aren’t dreaming.”
I’m floored by this. “You’re saying I’m not asleep? But you just showed me my house and told me I was sleeping.”
“Your body Earth-side is sleeping. Your body here, in Chaos, is very much awake. You must be asleep there to be awake here. For us, sleep is the gateway to Chaos,” she explains, as if it’s common knowledge and not confusing at all.
“So … you’re telling me I have TWO bodies?” I ask her.
“I’m telling you,” she pauses and looks me in the eyes, “you have one body that resides in two realms of existence. Hence the term ‘Realmwalker.’”
I stare back at her, waiting for her to start laughing and tell me she’s kidding. She really expects me to believe this? I must have a very active imagination to dream all this up.
I feel a sharp pain and jerk reflexively.
“If you’re dreaming, Addy, then why does that hurt?” She waits for me to consider what she’s said.
Goosebumps rise on my arms. For a second I’m at a loss for words, completely dumbfounded, then I find my answer. “Maybe I’m not really feeling pain. Maybe my dream is activating that area of my brain that simulates pain, and it seems so real that I’ve convinced myself I’m hurting.”
“Clever girl!” Crank laughs over his shoulder. “She’s a stubborn one, Mel. Give up. She’ll know soon enough, maybe even tomorrow.”
“I hope so. That would be great. I’m pretty sure Boss is already out that way. And Crank and I’ll be here to say, ‘Told ya so’!” She grins at the thought.
“Oh, no.” I inhale sharply. “Please don’t tell me I have to go through all of this again tomorrow night. That beast out there was the scariest thing I’ve ever encountered! And before I was falling, that evil demon-Tori thing with its claws and eyes and its shadow face! I can’t do that again!” I start to panic as I imagine that twisted face and the unfathomable horror hiding just beneath the shadows.
That was its true face, I realize now. The one behind the shadows was there all along, hiding in the illusion of Tori. I was able to glimpse it only as its rage caused its control of the illusion to slip away. I’m shaking just thinking of it.
Mel puts her hand reassuringly on my arm. “No, Addy. You won’t have to go through that ever again. You’re here now in Chaos. Every time you nod off top-side, you’ll wake up here and find you’re right where you left yourself. And the next time you have to face darkness, you’ll be better prepared.”
“And protected by us,” Crank interjects as he jabs a thumb at his puffed-up chest. I can’t help but wonder what such a little guy like Crank can do to protect me from beasts the size of the one I encountered earlier.
“That’s right,” Mel says adamantly. “You’re one of the family now, and we protect our own.” She gives my arm a gentle squeeze.
I do feel like they’re family. My chest fills up with that warm feeling again and my eyes get misty. It’s difficult to talk through the swell of emotion.
“What is this I’m feeling? About this place … about the two of you?” I’m almost embarrassed, having such tender feelings for Mel and Crank.
Crank finishes working at the big screen and comes to sit on the coffee table by my feet. He smiles endearingly and says, “Do you mean the warm, squishy feelings? Like Mel and I are your most favorite people in the world and that you never want to leave Minor Calm as long as you live?”
I laugh through the embarrassment and wipe away tears. “Yes! That’s exactly what I mean!”
Mel explains it further. “We all feel that way about each other. And about being in the Calms. I know it can be overwhelming at first, but you get used to it. We share a connection. We’re among the chosen few who are called to Chaos, and coming here physically changes us. We feel that change in each other and it connects us. It helps us band together more tightly, and to be protective of one another. It helps us survive.”
“Survive?” I ask. “What happens when you don’t survive? Do you just wake up …” I fumble over the new term, “…‘top-side’?”
Mel shakes her head and says, “That’s a lesson for another day. Anyway, it’s certainly not something you have to worry about now.” Her tone is reassuring but I don’t miss the meaningful look she and Oscar exchange. “As for the Calms, I believe the reason we feel so happy and comfortable here is to provide us with some relief from what we have to face outside.”
I wager a guess. “And outside of the Calms … where we were before … that’s Chaos?”
“She’s catching on. I said she was clever, didn’t I?” Crank looks smug.
“Of course she’s clever, Crank. We’re all clever here. Not just anyone is called to Chaos,” Mel says matter-of-factly.
“Called? You mean like, we were summoned here? By what?” I ask through a yawn. The trauma of the dream must have worn me out. I’m sleepy.
“She’s yawning,” Mel says to Crank who jumps up and returns to the screen on the wall. He pulls up the satellite image of my house again and it’s obvious it’s gotten lighter out.
“It’s 6:28. What time do you normally wake up?” He asks me quickly.
My eyes are drooping as I open my mouth to answer, “My alarm is set to go off at-”
EEERRRR-EEERRRR-EEERRRR-EEERRRR!
I reach over and hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. It reads six thirty in bright red digits. Just ten more minutes. I’m not ready to wake up yet. I smile sleepily. I was having the nicest dream.
Chapter 5
I lie still and try to hold on to the memory of the dream. I know it will only be a matter of time before the details begin to fade. Dreams are like that. They’re fresh in your mind the moment you wake, but later in the day when you try to remember them, they’re fragmented. They come back to you only in bits and pieces. I don’t want that to happen.
I think of Mel and Crank and am happy to find that I can still see them in my mind’s eye so clearly. I can still feel that warmth in my heart when I think of Minor Calm. I think of our fascinating conversation. What a wild dream! I can’t wait to tell this one to my mom.
Then I remember the rest of the dream: the pitch-black beast that almost crushed me, the Tori-demon that tried to keep me from answering the call to Chaos.
Even though there’s a little morning light seeping in through my blinds, my room is still dark enough to leave the corners steeped in shadows. My eyes are automatically drawn to the darkest parts. I squint and study them to see if there’s anything there. My mind imagines rusty red eyes glowing out of the darkness. I know I’m being ridiculous but I can’t seem to shake the fear away. I decide it may be a good idea to get up and turn the lights on.
As I reach up and turn on the lamp next to my bed, a sharp pain shoots through my chest. The pain makes me cough, which makes my chest hurt even more. I force myself to relax and steady my breathing. I must have slept on my side wrong.
With the light on I can see there are no shadow demons hiding in the corners. Relieved, I pull back my covers and sit up slowly so I don’t hurt my chest too badly. I freeze. I can’t believe what I see. This can’t be right.
My cream-colored sheets are marred with dark patches of red. I blink repeatedly, trying to make it go away. The knees of my pajama bottoms are intact but they are clearly blood soaked. I reach out to touch the fabric but I see something on my hand that stops me. Slowly, I turn my hand over and inhale reflexively as I stare, wide eyed, at my palms. They’re completely scabbed over and covered with dried blood.
What’s going on?
My hand starts to shake visibly. Am I losing it? How could this have happened? I need someone to help me understand this.
I get out of bed as quickly as I can without causing myself too much pain and walk down the hall to Mom’s room. Her door is open a crack, so I push it farther and peek inside. She’s lying in bed and though she’s facing away, her heavy breathing tells me she’s still asleep. I walk softly across her room, carefully climb into bed, and lie facing her.
She looks so pretty and peaceful that I’m almost tempted to let her sleep. But I think of the blood-covered sheets and my hands and knees and change my mind. I need my mother now. I need her to tell me everything is okay. I start to cry quietly. I pray she has an answer for me, something that explains everything.
She starts to stir. I force myself to stop crying so I don’t frighten her too much when she opens her eyes and sees me. “Momma?” I say softly, the way I used to when I was young.
She looks at me sleepily and smiles. “Good morning, sweetie,” she says as she stretches.
“Mom, I need your help,” I say quietly.
She rubs her face and really looks at me, concern instantly apparent in her eyes. She puts her hand on the side of my face. “Honey, what is it? What’s the matter?”
“Something’s happened, Mom. I’m confused and I’m scared.”
She sits up in bed and faces me. “Addy?”
I hold my hands out for her to see. She stares at them for a few seconds before saying anything.
“Addy! What did you do to your poor hands?” She looks me over. “My gosh, child, your clothes! What happened?”
“I don’t know how it happened. I woke up this way. There’s blood all over my bed too. And my chest hurts.” I’m worried she won’t believe me. I wouldn’t blame her.
She gets out of bed without saying anything, walks over to the phone on her dresser, and grabs her address book off the shelf next to her door. She thumbs through it quickly until she finds what she’s looking for. Punching a number into the phone, she looks up at me and says, “I’m going to have Ronnie come over and look at you.”
Ronald Mack is our next-door neighbor. He’s a paramedic and he and my dad were good friends.
“Ronnie? Hi, it’s Margaret. Listen, Addy’s been hurt. I don’t think it’s too serious, but I was hoping you could come have a look at her just in case.” She pauses a second, then, “Oh, thank you. You’re wonderful. I’ll see you soon.” She comes and sits on the bed next to me, smoothing my hair back out of my face. “You really don’t have any idea what happened to you?” she asks.
“Not really. I mean, I went to sleep fine and woke up like this.” I hesitate a second, trying to decide if I should tell her about my dream. I’m afraid she’ll really start to worry about my sanity. Maybe she’ll even make me see a shrink.
“Addy, I can tell there’s more you’re not saying. Are you afraid I’ll be mad?”
“No. It’s not that. It’s just … it sounds so crazy I’m worried you’ll think I’m losing it.”
