by Maggie Mundy
I will not excuse my actions where Lillie was concerned. My friends were wrong in what they did. I was young and thought nothing of the consequences. I wanted to drink, fornicate and hunt until my father said I had to marry. Arriving at Basset Manor, I was taken to the drawing room. William burst in, smartly dressed as always. He might not have the looks. He had the money to make himself appear superior. He held what looked like an old yellowed piece of paper.
“We’ve been waiting for you, Robert. You cannot believe what we’re about to do. Harry found this parchment at his uncle’s estate. It appears the old man had been on travels in Eastern Europe and unearthed knowledge on this cult. They believed this ceremony could give immortality to those that undertook the deed.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked though I was not sure I wanted to know.
“Read it, Robert. Then join us in the cellar.”
It was ridiculous that they could believe this. The paper explained that a female was to be copulated with and then murdered as the men spoke sacred words. Cuts were to be made across her brow and her abdomen.
The knife was described and illustrated. Its two-headed snake design caused me to shiver with distaste. If William had a body ready in the cellar for killing, then I would watch. Life would be tedious soon enough when my father expected me to take over the estate.
I continued to read the parchment. It rambled on about a Lord Valselef from some obscure Croatian province that discovered some ancient texts and a dagger. He had believed a demon had made the dagger and inscribed it with words of power. It would grant immortality if the killers of the victim performed the act and willingly offered him a part of their souls. One day, the demon Kocshie would be able to join his followers when he had a complete human soul.
There was a picture of the way the body should be cut. Also there were foreign words, I did not understand. I read that they were to be recited at the time of death. For the briefest moment I thought about who the poor unfortunate was, but the thought was fleeting as I drank and read on.
Lord Valselef wrote how his attempt at immortality had failed because the girl he killed was pregnant. The demon could not take or alter power from an untouched soul. The victim had to be impure and the unborn child was an innocent. Valselef had misunderstood and had paid the cost. He had written these words before he lost himself to madness.
I poured myself another glass of wine and made my way to the cellar. On the floor in the middle of the room, William moved on top of the woman they had acquired. The other young bucks cheered him on loudly. The cellar was dimly lit with candles. As I walked closer, William groaned his release.
The girl was still in her underclothing with her petticoat pulled up around her waist. She wore a mask of silver, which hid her real face. The mask was cherubic and somewhat grotesque. Somehow, I did not think the wearer would be wearing such a smile.
What little I could see of her eyes were glazed over and she didn’t move. She was drunk or drugged, most likely both. William would want her subdued. He would not want to get his countenance scratched. Standing, he pulled up his trousers, turned and smiled.
“So glad you decided to join us. Now, we can get on with the deed in hand.”
I helped myself to a bottle of claret. As I sipped, I watched as my friends ripped the young woman’s clothing apart. I took the blade when offered and sliced across her abdomen. The others did the same. The blood flowed down her sides and soaked into her shift. She did not respond as we cut her, possibly due to laudanum.
“We need to remove her mask and make cuts to her forehead before the final stab,” William said.
I drank too fast and was going to vomit. Maybe, it was all the blood. Perhaps I was not as strong as I thought. I headed for a bucket in the corner of the room and emptied the contents of my stomach. When I returned to the table, they had removed the young woman’s mask. They had sliced through her forehead three times with the knife. Her face was a bloody mess. There was something familiar about her hair. It was a rich auburn color.
I joined them. I placed my hand around the hilt of the blade along with the others as they held it above her heart. William started to recite the words from the parchment. As they pushed the blade under the skin, something caught my eye.
In the folds of the material of her shift was a shiny object. I watched mesmerized as the blood from her wound welled and trickled down the side of her body. The object sat in a pool of congealing blood. It was my mother’s broach. I had given it to Lillie to pay her to rid herself of our child.
“What’s wrong, Robert? You’ll not turn squeamish on us now the deed’s almost done,” William asked.
“You’ll not succeed,” I said.
“You mean that immortality rubbish. It does not matter. We were here for the kill. Why would we not succeed? What do you know, Robert?”
“She carries an innocent.”
“You bedded the bitch. Well, this is a good night’s entertainment that we’ve rid you of a problem as well.”
I have watched over the past two years as they all went insane. One drowned himself. Another threw himself in front of a coach. William locked himself in the cellar and set himself on fire.
Five years have gone by since that night. I often wonder why I still live. Maybe, it was because the innocent was my own blood or maybe because I took the time to make sure she had a decent burial. Whatever the reason, I took the broach and sold it. The money I gave to her family. They took it and asked no questions. It was one less mouth to feed. I do not deserve any sympathy and have never asked for any. I know I wasted my own and other’s lives.
I have arranged a hunt this afternoon. My horse will take a start and run towards Cradle Bluff. They will find him wandering at the top and my body at the bottom.
As Cara put down the book, her hands shook. This wasn’t a work of fiction. It was clearly a man’s account of what had happened to him. The thought chilled her. There were too many similarities to everything else in her life to dismiss it. She was scared. She needed to talk to Seth. This book and its events may have taken place a hundred years before he was born but he would know something.
Janet walked into the forge and placed a tray with coffee and homemade cookies on the workbench. Seth kept working on the statue. It was almost finished.
“I hope you like this coffee. Henri told me about these beans. Life’s too short to drink instant coffee, he said, and I’m inclined to agree with him.” She sipped the steaming brew.
Seth loved the aroma filling the air, but didn’t want anyone here right now, not even Janet.
“It’s beautiful.”
She walked around the sculpture. He felt naked. His skin prickled as if this piece had gone too far and he revealed too much of his feelings. He was a fool to put himself on display this way. The truth was if it hadn’t been for the sculptures he would have been locked away years ago.
“It’s Cara from the catering company, isn’t it?” Janet smiled, as she reached out to touch the head of the sculpture. Her hand stopped.
He shut his eyes and lifted the coffee to his lips. Why did he feel such intense anger that Janet, or anyone else would touch his creations? Cara knew his secret now. She accepted him. He had loved others who were prepared to accept this madness. He had lost them when he lived on. This time he didn’t want to lose what he had found. In his long life, he never felt the intensity he had when making love to Cara. He couldn’t give it up.
“I’m sorry. I know how you don’t like having your things touched. It’s just this sculpture’s different. It draws you in and makes you want to touch it.” Janet offered him a cookie.
Seth shook his head. “It is Cara.”
Janet smiled. “I go away for a week and look what happens. She seems a nice young woman. I sense pain in her past. My husband always thought I was
crazy when I came out with things like that. I’ve been right enough times now though to realize there’s something in it. You could do with a bit of happiness. Don’t fight it. I’m glad I’m not the only one, who got lucky last week,” Janet laughed.
Seth joined in. He hoped this Frenchman knew what he was letting himself in for, but doubted it very much.
Janet gazed back at the sculpture. “Take care, Seth. I’ve accepted you’ll see me die and many others after me. You’ve already experienced living long and losing love. By your own admission you don’t deal with it well.” Janet reached out and touched his arm.
“She knows what I am, Janet. Like others before her, she accepts it. Like others before her, I’ll lose her. All I want is to live a life with her and die when we’re old. I can’t.” He walked past his table with knives and absently touched them as he spoke.
“You may live a lot longer, Seth, but you still only live each moment the same as the rest of us. Just try and enjoy the moments.”
“It’s easy to enjoy the moments with her, which makes it harder.”
“I’m an older woman who has made enough mistakes to be able to give advice. You’re rough and ready, Seth. I’d have been tempted by you a long time ago. You’re a decent, honest and troubled man. My man in France is probably less trouble, even with his neighbors. It sounds to me like you’re in love, which means you’ve only one choice. Enjoy it. Accept the pain when you lose her or get out now.” Janet picked up the coffee mugs and left.
Seth stared at the sculpture. Janet was right. He would end up in pain. She would be the one dragging him home from the police station where he ended up drunk and disorderly again.
He would fire up the forge and keep himself busy. Heating the metal, he shaped it to his will. It was about the only thing he could control. He wanted her, and wanted to be at her apartment, making her want him now. He wanted to draw her to him, to be on top of her. He’d make her yell his name as he drove his body into hers.
The blade was good. It wasn’t his best, but it would sell. He placed it alongside the others. Heat, sweat, hammering. It did nothing to lessen the anguish, the anger, the wanting. Someone should die for this pain. Strolling across to the window, he saw the light on in Janet’s room. She would be on the Internet to Henri.
Seth stared at his watch. It was only six o’clock, but it was already dark. He hated winter with its evenings that drew in and got dark so early. He turned back to the sculpture. He’d made it well. The face had that come-hither smile. The breasts were those a man could lose himself in, he had lost himself in them.
He was lying to himself. There was only one reason he had told Cara everything. It was revenge and freedom from this curse. He was getting close. Looking at the sculpture, he knew he couldn’t let other feelings stand in the way. He couldn’t afford to love her. He picked up his mallet. He had to stop the insanity that would only end in pain for everyone. He would become her protector from a distance again.
The first blow was the hardest as he smashed into the side of the face. He had to do this and destroy what he loved. He had made a promise long ago. He brought the hammer down again and again. The pain he felt in his muscles was nothing to the ache in his heart and mind at his action.
“What are you doing?”
The mallet was in his hands, hands that were shaking uncontrollably. A voice, someone had said something. A question drawing him back. The anger withdrew to be replaced by the usual numbness his life contained. He viewed the pile of smashed stone; a remnant of a shape that might have been an elbow was present, or a piece of smooth inner thigh. The mallet dropped from his fingers. He fell to his knees by the rubble. He wanted to weep, but he couldn’t. Any tears he would shed had disappeared years ago when he lost the ability to cry. Why couldn’t he just die?
“Rosie. Why did you do this to me?” The words ripped from his throat. Arms came around him.
“It’s all right my darling.”
Soothing words whispered in his ear, ones he didn’t deserve. Of all the people in the world, what was she doing here? Didn’t she know she deserved so much better? If he had any sense, he would send her away.
Cara knelt before him, looking into his eyes. She kissed his lips. She kissed his cheeks. She kissed his eyelids and then returned to his mouth. He knew at that moment, he was a person who would continue to hurt and cause others pain for eternity, just for the love he felt at this moment. Her lips were warm and soft and he wanted them again. “Cara.”
“It’s all right.”
“You don’t understand. You shouldn’t be here.” Seth said. “You shouldn’t be with me. I’ll hurt you. You need to leave.”
Chapter 20
Cara leaned forward to brush his mouth with hers. He was obviously in so much pain. All she wanted to do was comfort him. “Then make me go, because I’m not leaving you like this.”
“I keep telling myself you’re different. When I don’t age the pain of losing you will be bearable, but it won’t. I’ll want to die.” Seth laughed wryly.
He broke her heart to hear the way the sound caught in his throat.
He turned back to the pile of rubble and laughed again. “And I’ll know I can’t. I’ve controlled the anger and frustration so far. I’m afraid at some point I’ll hurt people. Kill people. What will they do, put me in prison, for how long?”
Cara’s fingers touched his elbow. She didn’t caress but needed to let him know she was there for him. She picked up the broken stone that had once been a part of her head. One side of the face was smashed in, but the other side was more intact. For some reason she felt incredibly calm as she stared across at him. She truly felt no fear, which might show foolishness rather than common sense. “Was it me?”
Seth nodded.
“I hope you made my hips smaller. I always liked the idea of artistic license.” Cara kissed his cheek.
He shivered beneath her fingers.
“Why are you here? Why are you smiling? I just smashed you to pieces.”
“Many reasons,” Cara said, a blush seeping into her cheeks. “Some of them I’m too embarrassed to say. The main reason is because I can’t seem to stay away from you.”
She touched his cheek gently, a feather light touch and then went on, “Secondly I saw something today which may help us get closer to finding Rosie’s and Shona’s killer. Apart from you and your body, that’s something I want more than anything. I want to stop the killing and get the bastard.”
“Come with me.” Seth took her hand and led her from the forge. The night air caused her to shiver but he put his arm around her and pulled her close. “I don’t want to be near this anymore.”
When they were inside the cottage, she heard Janet moving around upstairs. Seth went to the stairs and called her. He poured three glasses of wine and sat down at the kitchen table. “Let’s wait for her to join us. Then, you’ll only have to tell the story once.”
He watched Cara breathing as she lay snuggled up against him. The warmth of having her there intoxicated him. She slept peacefully after they made love. His mind couldn’t let sleep take over. He had another chance to find out something about what happened so long ago.
She deserved more than this. Touching her hair, he knew he loved her. This need for closure had gone on so long though. He couldn’t give it up and he hated a part of himself for that. He had loved and lost before. He was tired of fighting and losing. It was too late for such thoughts.
The sun was coming up and a beam of light shone in illuminating his beloved. Cara stretched and turned over. The sheet fell back revealing her breasts. The cool morning air made her nipples harden. She was still asleep, but he could see the goose bumps on her areola. She was so beautiful and she wanted him. How did he deserve this?
Leaning forward he closed his lips around her nipple. It was so hard, c
old and firm. He moved across to the other nipple sucking on its taut peak. His hand moved slowly down the smooth skin of her abdomen until he threaded his fingers through her tight curls. His fingers slipped into her as she groaned. He had lived so long and touched so many women, but this was different.
Wherever their naked bodies touched felt like life being lived. He wanted to remember each fold, each movement she made when he touched her. She was wet and he was hard. Opening her eyes, she yawned and blinked at him. Then she smiled.
He was losing himself in her again. Moving on top of her, her legs encircled his waist as he entered her. This was a place he was content to lose himself.
She gasped. He worried he hurt her with his impatience. He no longer felt the sensation of moving in and out of her body. They flowed together as one. This wasn’t enough. He needed to be even more a part of her.
Looking her in the face, he plunged deeper and harder. He couldn’t stop now. His fingers felt for her clitoris gently massaging. He felt himself entering and withdrawing from her. Her muscles tightened around him, matching the shudder that went through his body. She groaned. She yelled. He gloried in the sound he would remember forever.
“I don’t care how long you’ve lived, Seth.” She smiled up at him. “I have to say that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”
“So far.” Seth watched her eyes crinkle up as she giggled. He wondered yet again why he deserved this, deserved her. “Janet’s a light sleeper. I want to watch you go red when she says something, which I know she will.”
“She won’t be angry at me. I think she likes me. She probably thinks I’m going to steal her recipes, which I would, if I could. She will be angrier at you for the pile of rubble in the forge that she has to clean up.” Cara bit her bottom lip.
