by Maggie Mundy
Sitting in the van, she fumbled with her seatbelt. Why did it choose now not to work? She turned to Jeff and Daniel. “For God’s sake. Get me away from here.”
Chapter 28
The world was at her feet. Well, hers and Daniel’s feet to be more precise. The business had been all that kept her going this last six months. She had accepted that she would never have another man in her life except Merlin. She would become a crazy old cat lady. Her silly old cat had lived through all her traumas blissfully unaware. She would do spells and watch Seth in her mirror. After a while she stopped. She realized she was doing herself more harm than good and had to move on.
She’d spent long hours organizing menus, cooking, and arranging staff and equipment for their functions. They routinely did large gatherings now. In a strange way, all the new business had been a blessing.
Everyone mothered her for a while, until she screamed and told them to back off. She had survived losing a baby, almost dying, and an incredibly old serial killer trying to murder her. She would survive living without Seth. At least she’d keep telling herself that. Perhaps one day she might actually believe it.
Inspector Seps had come around to see how she was getting on. He said they accepted Vincent had been the killer. No one was sad that someone had knocked him off. The investigation into who had killed him wasn’t getting much attention. There was always some new job on the horizon. He was definitely looking at retiring and had bought a little cottage in the South of France. The experience had made him realize life was too short and he needed to enjoy it.
Jeff had invested in the company. They didn’t have to prepare food in their apartments anymore. They had a base now, a small failed restaurant. They were purchasing equipment that in the long run would save them on hire fees.
Daniel was still trying to convince her to go into the wedding business. So far she had managed to fend him off. The thought of seeing happy couples tie the knot wasn’t something she could cope with right now, unless it was Jeff and Daniel of course.
Matcher took their bookings. He was becoming invaluable at organizing things. It meant paying him more, but he was worth it. Cara still tried to do as much preparation as possible especially for the small meals. Their prices had gone up with their increase in bookings, but none of the clients complained.
She and Daniel sat at her breakfast bar. They were discussing options for a meal for her mother and father. She had managed to put them off for months. The idea of driving past Vincent’s house was almost as bad as going to Seth’s cottage again.
Why did her stomach still turn over at the thought of Seth? At heart, she knew she was a hopeless romantic. She had foolishly believed life would turn out well.
The phone rang. She jumped. It was stupid. It wouldn’t be him. It never was. This time it was perfect Peter Connor from The Evening Post. What on earth did he want? Even while he attempted to listen in, Daniel continued to pretend to check on menus.
“That was Connor,” Cara said when she hung up. “He wants us to do lunch for him at The Post on Thursday. He has a TV executive coming that’s doing a series on local chefs and their businesses. He wants to include us.”
Daniel was reaching for his mobile phone as she spoke. He would be texting Jeff no doubt. “That’s brilliant, Cara.”
“I’m not so sure. He mentioned that it tickled the fancy of the TV executive that we cooked a murderer his last meal. I’m sure he only suggested us because he thinks there’s a story in this. I want to leave that behind, Daniel.”
“This is too good a deal to pass up. Vincent’s old news now.”
Cara stiffened at the mention of his name. Daniel was right though. This was what they had been striving for. She just didn’t have the heart to tell him she didn’t care anymore. Then again, if she didn’t keep busy with work, she might give up altogether.
“Okay. I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it, did I?” Cara answered.
Another three months and still no phone call. Stop waiting, you fool.
The TV program had been filmed. Jeff, Daniel, Matcher and Rachel were coming around to watch the show with her.
Cara had two bottles of bubbly in the fridge. She thought they would be used for drowning sorrows rather than celebrating. She knew she had come over badly. Daniel shone as usual. She had to swallow her words. They all came over well, even when she had been asked about her most famous meal for the notorious slasher-killer.
Daniel came in with a funny line. “You could say our meals are to die for.”
The presenter laughed and replied, “Well, if this was my last meal, I’d be going as a happy man. Who knew turkey and pheasant pie could taste so good. That Dingle Delight is a winner too.”
After the show, the first bottle of champagne went down easily. The second was following quickly on its tail.
“Before we all get too merry, I want to say something.” Daniel stood up.
“Yeah, we know you’re the best chef in the world,” Matcher called out.
“That’s true. It isn’t what I wanted to say. Surprise, surprise. Two years ago we started this business and it’s gone beyond what we imagined. I know the sky’s the limit. I also know we’ll all pull each other down, if we get too big for our boots.”
“Get on with it.” Cara teased sticking out her tongue at Daniel who did the same in return. “So mature.”
“It’s just that we achieved this while losing someone close to us. We’ve been through more than people deserve to go through. Anyway I’ll stop rambling. I know Cara will agree with me. I wanted to raise a toast to Shona.”
They all raised their glasses but Cara could only sip as they cheered. He knew how to make her smile and hugged her.
“Also to all of us, and the fact that we’re still sane, well sort of, I think,” Daniel said.
“Are you sure you are?” Rachel giggled.
“And another toast to you, Cara. I don’t know where you get your strength from, but we could all do with some.”
Cara smiled. She didn’t feel any strength at all, just a numbing loss she covered with work.
“I think that’s enough from you for one night.” Jeff grabbed Daniel’s arm and pulled him back down beside him. “Now, there’s something I’d like to say.”
Daniel looked confused which made Cara smile. Jeff took Daniel’s hand in his.
“Daniel, I want to ask you something that’s been on my mind for a while. I wanted to do it with our friends around. I’m hoping I’ll get the right response.” Jeff got down on one knee. “Daniel Peter Kenner, will you marry me?”
Daniel’s mouth hung open. It was the first time Cara had seen him speechless. It was wonderful. Rachel looked like she was going to cry and Cara would join her.
Daniel still hadn’t said anything. Jeff raised an eyebrow in a questioning look.
“Yes. Oh my God, Yes.” Daniel hugged and kissed Jeff.
More champagne was opened. For the first time in a long time, Cara thought she had something to look forward to.
“Can I be a bridesmaid?” Rachel asked, causing Matcher to shake his head.
“Only if Tecquin will be an usher?” Daniel said, grinning at Matcher.
“Is that your first name? It’s lovely. Why don’t you use it?” Rachel asked.
“Got whacked too many times at school. It didn’t exactly fit my image. Yes, I’ll be an usher, but you’ll pay for that, Daniel.”
“I’m really happy for you both,” Cara said. “That doesn’t mean I want to do the catering. I expect to be guest of honor though.” She hugged them so tight. It was good to have nice things happening. It called for more bubbly. To hell with the hangover champagne always gave her.
The phone rang and she jumped as always. She would have to stop this. It was silly to keep thinking it would be him. Toni
ght showed life was changing. That was the way it would go.
“Hello.” Someone was talking. Cara couldn’t hear who it was over the noise of everyone celebrating
“Janet, is that you? Just one minute.” She didn’t need to say anything. The room went silent.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you, Cara. You sound like you’re having a party. I just wondered if you could pop over and see me.”
“See you?” Cara felt dumb repeating the words.
“I’m off to Paris soon to stay with Henri. I wanted you to see something before I go.”
“Will Seth be there?” It hurt to say his name out loud.
“His buyer is coming from London the day after tomorrow. He’ll be out all day.”
“It’s just…”
“I know dear, it’s hard. I don’t know how you’ve coped.”
“I’ll see you then.” Cara had to stop the conversation before the tears came.
Cara picked up her keys and put them back down again. Why had she agreed to go today? No good would come of it. She would just rub salt in an old wound, which was a silly thing for a chef to do. She would phone and tell Janet she wasn’t coming. It was the past, better left there.
As she picked up the phone, the intercom went. It was Matcher. She let him in the apartment, made him coffee and they sat down.
“Cara, I need to talk to you about the night you saved Seth before you go there today. I would have said something the other night, but I think we were all a bit too pissed to say the least.”
“Go on.”
“I saw your auras combine and it was about the only good thing I observed that night. Seth had always looked grey before. When you breathed into him, it was as if the air you put in was coming out of his mouth as a glowing mist. I mean you were shining like a bloody beacon. It was good for you. Because when I walked into the cellar, you had no color in your aura at all. Whatever happened to you while I was out cold worked wonders?”
She had never told anyone about Rosie. She wasn’t sure why.
“The lines on his body you touched glowed like sunlight. Both of you were shining. Light shone out of you and pulled his spirit back. Your bodies were so white, it hurt my eyes. I saw your physical bodies. Above them were, well it was the two of you and you were entwined. You were like beautiful white ghosts I could see through. It was hard to see where one of you started and the other finished. Even Inspector Seps saw it. I don’t think he would have gone along with all the crazy shit otherwise.”
“That’s wonderful, Matcher. It doesn’t change things. He still can’t remember.”
“All I’m saying is, don’t give up. If there’s such a thing as a person having a soul mate, he’s yours. I saw it that night.”
She wanted to believe what Matcher said but it would mean a few hours of hoping and then nothing. A person could only cope with so much nothing.
“Okay. I’ll go, but don’t expect miracles.”
Cara couldn’t stop shaking. Parking outside of his cottage made it all so fresh again. It brought back memories of the first day when she’d seen him here and they admired the roses. How could they have gone through so much and yet he couldn’t remember anything? Rosie had warned her this could happen. She had told her to try and make him remember. She had with the letter but it hadn’t worked. What was she supposed to do? Beg someone who thought she was a stranger.
Looking at the bush surrounding the gate she thought about Rosie. She said they would have time together, but couldn’t say how long. In truth, Cara thought, she had nothing. She had a memory, but he didn’t even have that.
What was the point in beating the bad guy and going through everything if she didn’t win something, anything? She was supposed to get the guy. That’s what happened in stories, only this was real life.
That was it, she decided. She couldn’t face this. She didn’t want to be around anything that would remind her of Seth. She turned back to the van. Whatever Janet had wanted to show her, it didn’t matter.
“Cara,” Janet called out, as she beamed at her from the front door of the cottage. “I’m glad you’re here. Come inside.”
Cara slowly smiled back. Did it matter if the owner of the cottage thought she was some stranger who rambled on about insane things? Things like great sex? Someone who had actually said he loved her and for the first time in a long time, she had believed it. He had even made her start believing that she loved herself.
The kitchen was as always a comfortable place to be. Janet put the teapot down and opened the tin containing her cookies. Every step hurt, seeing this place and not holding Seth, or kissing him. He had made her smolder. She wanted those emotions back, but that wasn’t possible.
“I saw you on the television the other night. You’re a natural in front of the camera, you know. I think some of those chefs put on an act, but not you.” Janet poured the tea.
“Everybody was probably yawning away. Did Seth see it?” Stupid woman, why are you asking? If he had, he obviously didn’t pine for you and rush to the phone.
“I told him when the show came on. Like most evenings he spent the night out there. After what happened, he may have changed in some ways. As to being a sullen, grumpy loner, that hasn’t changed. Before I take you out there, I need to talk to you.”
Janet glowed. She might be sixty, but she was animated. At twenty-nine, Cara felt tired and jaded. She had been wrong to come here. “Listen, Janet. I’m sure that you’re well-meaning, but…”
“Don’t ‘but’ me anything. Honestly, I think you are as stubborn as he is sometimes,” Janet scolded.
“Okay, I’ll listen.” Cara stared into her mug.
“I knew about Seth. I accepted what he told me years ago. Most people would have said I was mad. That didn’t matter. He was long-lived, but he was dead in a way. Nothing touched him. He was like a dog that’s lost its owner and had been left to pine. Then you came along and stirred things up.” Janet smiled.
“That was never my intention. I was only just holding it together myself back then.”
“Seth told me about you losing the baby. Lost one myself once. It’s hard.” Janet reached a hand across and touched Cara’s.
Biting her bottom lip, Cara tried hold back the tears. “What do you want, Janet? Otherwise I’m going home. As lonely as that place might be without him, it hurts being here.”
“Cara, he doesn’t know you’re here. He’s like most men, no matter how long they live. They can’t see what’s right in front of them. He loved you.”
“Please don’t say that.” Cara’s tears fell.
“I read your letter.” Janet reached across and lifted Cara’s fringe. “Until the last few weeks I would have said he still couldn’t remember. Now I think there may be a chance for both of you again. I brought you here to see something. When you’ve seen it, then make your decision on whether you give up on him.”
“What decision? I’ve never given up on him but he doesn’t want me.” Cara followed Janet outside, wanting to get this over and done with as soon as possible. “The statues? They’re gone.”
The garden looked just like any cottage garden without them. It was winter and most of the flowers were gone but everything was green and lush from the rain.
“He sold them,” Janet said. “He made a pretty penny too. That’s one of the things his manager is talking to him about today. People are placing orders. Seth never did two the same. He insists he meets with prospective buyers. He said he doesn’t feel that keen on sculpting so it will cost them an exorbitant price. His statues were always different. They called to you and made you feel things.”
Cara was genuinely glad he was being successful. What they had lost in love they were both receiving in wealth and fame. She had worried initially how he would cope with today’s wor
ld? He had survived well even though he had no memory of all those years that had passed. Another kick in the teeth, another area he didn’t need her.
Walking towards the forge, Cara remembered the last time she was there. Seth had kissed her and taken her back to the cottage. They had talked about Vincent and the dagger, but she had kept secrets to protect Seth.
It hadn’t helped her in the long run. She had lost him. A deep ache caused her to catch her breath when she remembered the passion of their lovemaking. She had never been able to get enough of him, but he remembered nothing. At least with their lovemaking, she had taken enough of his power to save him.
“He’s started to ride the bike again. Went out there one morning two weeks ago and started it up. Five a.m. it was. If he has to get his memory back about things, couldn’t he do it at a reasonable hour? Gave him hell I did when he got back from his little joy ride.”
Tears stung Cara’s eyes again. If he could remember the bike, why couldn’t he remember her?
Chapter 29
Entering the workshop, the familiar smell of the forge hit her. Smoke, the coals, and that tang of metal she almost tasted on her tongue. His tools all hung neatly on their hooks on the wall. A few blades were on the worktable. It was as if she trespassed on his private space.
“Well, don’t stand at the door, Cara. It’s over by the far window. He keeps it covered with this tarpaulin, so I’m not meant to see it. I’m going to Paris for a month. I wanted to know what it was before I left. He knows I’m nosy, so I don’t know why he bothered.” Janet walked over to the large gray lump.
Cara longed to run. She was nothing to him now. She should give him privacy. Walking away, she heard the swish and rumble of the cover being removed behind her. She stopped. She clenched her hands and closed her eyes. I can’t do this. It’s not fair to him.
“Seth.” Janet’s voice echoed through the forge.
