Abby stood by the screen door and called his name. “Let’s go.”
He made his way to the door and followed her to the buggy. “I’m sorry about this mess.”
“You are apologizing to me about a family matter?” She shook her head. “It’ll be nice for me to be able to support you for a change.”
He climbed up into the buggy and sat down in the seat as she spoke. He felt better already. “It does help to have someone who understands.” He tapped the reins, thinking it would be a lot easier to mend hauses after a hurricane than see his daed and Jake making amends.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
THE SUN WAS intense but helped dry the soggy ground that was saturated with water. And an ominous mood hung over them with thoughts of Henry. The entire community silently mourned in remembrance of one of their own who was gone so suddenly. Once his family was ready, they planned a memorial that would take place that coming Sunday.
They went from one farm to another in order of how much damage had been done. It was almost like another barn raising when they went to each house and there was a crowd of people to mend the home. The men would do their part and the women theirs, all joining together as one, and Abby was learning how she fit in. She learned some recipes from the women. Abby hadn’t known much about baking until she met the Amish. These women could have opened a bakery if they wanted to.
The restlessness Abby felt regarding Jim increased each day. It had been days since she’d left, and a lot could have happened in that amount of time. Abby hated that she didn’t want to go see her own father, but the guilt of not seeing him bothered her even more. She would never forgive herself if something happened to him and she never saw him again.
“What are you thinking about?” Mose looked up at her quickly and then piled more food on his plate.
Abby startled, deep in thought. “Jim. My dad.” She clarified quickly, knowing it confused Mose when she used his first name.
“You haven’t mentioned him, so I let it alone, but I’ve wondered about him too.” He waved away a fly and then studied Abby for a moment. “Now that the roads are safe for the buggies to travel on, we could go see him.”
Abby’s head snapped up. “You don’t have to go, Mose.”
He drew back, hurt or angry—she couldn’t tell which. “I want to, not only to support you but also for your safety.” His furrowed brows warned her to tread lightly. Mose’s feelings were at stake as well as his fierce need to always protect her.
Abby looked up at the bright sun and held up a hand to shade her eyes. “Jim will be defensive if you’re there.” That was true, but she really wanted to do this alone. It was between her and Jim, and there was too much history behind them that someone new to the situation wouldn’t understand. They were as dysfunctional a family as any she’d seen, and Abby’s job provided her with a fairly accurate way to gauge it. She didn’t know the particulars about the oldest brother who had returned, but even that situation surely couldn’t top hers.
“I have to go to the furniture shop to pick up a payment, anyway. It would be silly for us to go separately.” He stared at her until she answered.
“All right, you can drop me off at Jim’s and pick me up when you’re done in town.”
Mose shook his head with frustration. “I can’t promise you I’ll leave when you get there.”
Abby crossed her arms over her chest. There was no way Jim would cooperate if Mose was there. It would be hard enough to have a conversation with him without Mose. “You can’t come in the house, Mose. If he sees you, I won’t get anywhere with him.”
Mose’s wrinkles unfolded across his forehead. “Jah, I’ll settle for staying in the buggy.” He didn’t seem totally convinced, but this wasn’t about him; it was about Jim.
“What are you two so serious about?” Becca walked up and set a bowl of egg salad on the table. The aroma of whipped eggs and mustard tickled Abby’s nose and made her hungry.
“It’s time I go to see Jim, my dad.” Abby realized she’d made it seem like a prison sentence and changed her tone. “It’s been too long. I need to see how he is.”
“I’ve wondered about that but didn’t want to pry.”
“Oh, Becca, you know more about me than anyone. You can ask me anything and I’d tell you.”
Becca took her hand. “You know I feel the same.” She glanced at Mose. “Mose is taking you, jah?”
“We were just talking about that.” Mose smiled at her.
She knew he meant well. He also had to know by then how independent she was, but overall he was fair with Abby and her opinionated ways. “And yes, he’s taking me.”
“It will be gut for you to go, jah?” She seemed concerned like Mose was. Abby understood, with the way she first came into the community that horrible night that seemed so long ago. “You know, I have an errand to run in town. Maybe I can go with you?”
Abby turned to Mose. “Sure. Right, Mose?”
“Gut by me.” Mose seemed happy with the growing number and rolled back on his heels.
“Go where?” Joe bit the tip of his leather glove and pulled it off.
“Into town. Can Joe come with us?” Becca asked Mose.
Mose grinned at Abby, who gave him a playful look of irritation. She figured he was betting the bigger the crowd, the more likely Jim would behave. But what Mose didn’t understand was that her dad would act up no matter how many people were around. That was just how he’d become after her mother died. As if he was determined not to be happy without her.
They sat together as they ate and talked about other less-stressful topics. There was always the talk of food—who made what—and going for seconds until everyone had their fill. With the Lapps’ farm finished, they decided to go to Henry’s place.
In light of the family tragedy the community had done a minimal cleanup and then given the family some time before invading their privacy with saws and hammers. But if they wanted to save any of their crops, they needed more help.
The women packed up everything and went home in some of the buggies, and the men went over to Henry’s. They didn’t want the bustle of the entire community at their place, and the ground still had standing water round the barnyard and most of the fields. Becca and Abby offered to go so they could see Rachel because they were close in age. It was so like Becca to offer to make the visit.
Becca and Abby took Becca’s buggy to their place so they could catch up. Everyone had been so busy after the storm there hadn’t been time to socialize much.
Becca glanced at Abby. “Do you feel up to talking about your daed?”
Becca looked so interested Abby didn’t feel she could say no. Not that she would, anyway. She trusted Becca more than anyone, maybe even Mose.
“I don’t like to talk about him, but I can’t stay in denial.”
“He’s the one who hurt you.”
For a brief moment Abby didn’t know whether she meant emotional or physical. Even though they were intertwined, the emotional part was what lingered. Her bruise was gone. No one would ever know it had been there but the people here in this community, and they seemed to be colorblind. “Yes, he was.”
“Then you shouldn’t see him alone.”
Abby scoffed. “There’s a buggy full going, thanks to you.”
“Going into town, but you need to have someone with you at the haus.”
“You sound like Mose.”
“I’d like to meet him.” Becca was so serious, Abby knew she couldn’t deny her request. Becca wasn’t intimidating and was good with people. But then she’d never met Jim.
“Okay, but you may regret it.” Abby already was, and it was a day away. She made a conscious effort to think of the present like the people there did so well. It seemed to work for them, and it was contagious. They didn’t seem to worry about anything, although that was impossible. But then they’d say nothing’s impossible with Christ, and she had no recourse but to agree.
Becca slowed the horse and watched
Mose hop down and walk to the front of his buggy. “Who is Mose talking to?” Joe walked over to Abby’s side and motioned toward Mose.
“He’s talking to Jake. When did he get here?” Joe was usually a fairly laid-back guy, but he wasn’t at the moment. There was something about this Jake character that had everyone upset, and Abby wasn’t sure she wanted to find out what it was.
“Early this morning. He wants to help rebuild.”
“Give him a chance, Joe,” Becca cautioned, but Joe ignored her request and stared as the two brothers talked. His brown eyes were darker than usual, intense, studying them. Abby wondered whether he was more concerned about Mose or upset with Jake.
Joe finally walked away when Mose and Jake headed for the house. “I’ll come by later.” Joe waved and caught up with them.
“Well, I hope those boys play nice together.” Becca tapped the reins and followed them. She sighed. “During a marriage and baptism ceremony Jake made some decisions that the community didn’t agree with.”
“Did you agree with him?” Abby asked, puzzled.
Becca took a moment before she answered. “I didn’t like the personal decision he made about his own family, but I respect him for not saying he believed one way of thinking when in his heart he felt another way. Most probably wouldn’t agree with me on that, though.”
Abby wondered whether she could ever follow the many Amish rules. She didn’t even know them all, so she couldn’t answer the question. “When is the next ceremony that you’re talking about?”
“In the fall, when the couples get married.” Becca smiled at her question. “They go through marriage classes and then are baptized.”
“Who’s getting married?” Abby suddenly wondered about Elsie, who Mose had been interested in at one time, and also whether Joe and Becca would be going through the ceremony. With the plans Becca had, she doubted it, but she wondered how Joe felt about waiting.
“No one tells until it’s announced at church, and that’s before harvest.”
“What about you and Joe? Or can I ask you?”
Becca blushed and pulled on the reins when they got close to the house. “Joe has hinted at it.” Then she became serious. “But you know why I can’t commit right now. He had his time with rumspringa.”
“You haven’t told Joe?”
“Nee, I told you. You are the only one.” She looked so deeply into Abby’s eyes she knew this must remain a secret, one she couldn’t break.
“This is really important to you, isn’t it, Becca?” Abby didn’t know where she got the courage, but she admired Becca even more for reaching out and doing what her heart told her to do.
“I’ve been planning this since I was a young girl. I’ve seen many Amish go out into the world and do things they regret. The images I formed in my mind from their experiences are engraved on my soul. I’ve never heard Gott call me more clearly than He did that day.” She blinked and looked away. “I’ve never told anyone. But you being separate from everyone else gave me the chance to finally share it with someone.” She took Abby’s hand. “You’re here for a reason, Abby. You need to find out what it is, just like I did.”
Abby was moved by Becca’s confession and her belief that Abby had a purpose there among the Amish. She couldn’t imagine what that might be. They had served her. She had done little in return.
“You’re pretty amazing, Rebecca Troyer.” Abby beamed at her with admiration.
Becca’s eyes welled up. “So are you. You just don’t know it yet.”
Her words gave Abby new strength and made her begin to wonder what God had in store for her. She smiled. “I’ve never had a friend like you.”
“It’s been quite a surprise for me too, you being an Englisher and all.”
Abby laughed. “You say it like it’s a dirty word.”
“Heavens, no. If that were true, I’d be the worst of hypocrites.” They both chuckled even though it wasn’t that funny. It just felt good to laugh.
“What are you two giggling about?” Jake pulled on his gloves and walked over to Becca.
“Hallo.” She bent down and embraced him, and then he stepped back.
“That’s the first hug I’ve gotten. Probably the last too.” He grinned.
“If you’d ever give a little notice, it may help for people to get used to the idea that you’re coming.” He helped her down from the buggy, and Abby slid off her seat to the ground. “This is Abby.” Becca pointed to her.
“We’ve met.” He nodded toward Abby.
“How are you today, Jake?” Abby felt a little differently about him after hearing some of the story. She admired him for being honest, but she could imagine from his disposition that he may not express himself in a manner agreeable to others.
He looked back at her, seemingly surprised. “Better than yesterday, but the day’s not over yet.” He gave her half a smile, and for a moment she saw Mose. They looked so similar with their blond hair and blue eyes she took a moment before looking away.
“How long do you plan to stay?” Becca handed him as much as he could carry before she and Abby got the rest.
“As long as I’m needed. Not a day longer.” His response was unreadable. He seemed to feel the need to be there more than a desire to be. Maybe not only to help with the flood damage, but also to be around people who used to be his own. Changing a lifelong decision had to be hard—even if you knew you’d made the right one.
“Who did you end up staying with?” Becca asked casually as they walked into the kitchen. It was too hot to have the food outside.
“The Yoders’.”
They searched for a place sturdy enough to lay the spread of victuals on. Unloading all of the leftover food from lunch at the Lapps’, they set up enough for people to snack on until supper.
Becca stopped arranging the food and stared at him. “How did that work out?” She had the nicest way of saying things, and Abby decided she needed to take notes.
“Well, I’m in the barn. I guess it’s the only way I can be with Solomon.”
“Don’t let Eli hear you using his full name. He’s sort of possessive of the little one.”
Jake’s expression changed from irritation to defensiveness. “I’m sleeping in the hog pen just to see him. I think I should be able to call him what I want.” He shook his head and walked away.
Becca started working with the food again when some of the men came in. “I can’t figure him out.”
“It’s all right. Neither can I.” Abby got fidgety and took a plate. She picked at the food more than ate it. “I almost thought he was a different guy from the one I met earlier.”
“I’ve known him all my life, but he’s a stranger to me.” Becca glanced at him.
“That’s odd.”
“Jah, that’s just Jake.”
As Abby watched others ignore him or give him cold glances, so unlike the Amish she had grown to admire for their friendliness, she became curious. “Why is everyone acting that way?”
“Jake’s shunned. No one is supposed to talk to him.”
“You and Mose did.”
“I shouldn’t have. But I can understand Mose wanting to have a word with him. He caused a lot of pain when he left.”
She’d seen the way Jake dealt with her and Mose when he first arrived and the complete opposite with Becca until he turned on her so abruptly. Then Mose walked into the room, and Abby wondered how two brothers could be so completely different.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
ABBY FELT LIKE crying when she set eyes on her family’s farm. It was as if no one tried to do anything to protect it from the storm, and afterward nothing had been repaired. There was no sign of the animals. She was glad Ginger and Blackie were safely in a nice bed of straw at Mose’s place. The day after the storm had kept her occupied with life-and-death issues, but now that she was here, she wished she could have been in two places at one time. Jim didn’t or couldn’t do anything to save this ranch.
The runoff f
rom the storm had stripped the fertile topsoil, creating thin lines of water through the dirt. The wheels on the buggy sank into the muck before they got to the house. “We’re gonna have to walk the rest of the way.” Mose walked over to Abby and helped her down.
She’d borrowed Becca’s boots and was glad to have her help, but she only wanted Mose there with her. If things went well, Becca would meet Jim later. It was hard enough for Abby to have Mose there, but looking around the place, she was glad he was.
Mose was by her side as they walked up the road to the farmhouse. “It looks abandoned.”
“I don’t know where he’d go, except to the hospital.”
The barn and other buildings were already in bad shape, but the storm had taken its toll, leaving them in scattered heaps of broken boards and beams, finishing some of them off completely. The ones still standing were missing boards, doors, and windowpanes, all needing to be replaced. But what worried her most was the animals. There wasn’t a single one in sight.
“Where’s the livestock?” she whispered.
“Most of the fence lines are down. They could have easily run off to the other farms when the storm hit.” Mose’s creased brow showed his concern, which made Abby worry even more.
With each step Abby took up to the house, she changed her mind. One step she wanted Jim to be there, the next step she hoped he wasn’t.
The stairs creaked behind her as Mose followed. “Do you want me to go in first?” he asked, but he moved ahead of her without waiting for a reply. He turned the knob, but the door was stuck, so he slammed his shoulder against it. It scraped against the wooden floor as it opened.
Dust mites swirled in the sunlight, and the musty air was pungent. “It must have been empty for the last couple of days.” Abby held her nose and went into the kitchen. Crusty food was dried on plates that were left out on the counters and in the sink. The tang of rotten milk was so strong that she gagged. She took the glasses to the sink to rinse them out.
Mose’s hand suddenly clasped hers and pulled her away. “He’s not here, Abby.”
She stared at him, not wanting to give up yet. “We haven’t checked the bunkhouse or the barn.”
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