And then she saw the wooden cradle. She looked from it to Joe and back again.
“I had it made,” he said, answering her unspoken question. “I hope it’s close enough to what you wanted.”
“You had it made?” She slipped from the sofa and onto her knees, touching the smooth wood of the cradle.
“A local guy. He came highly recommended. A real artisan. I think he did a good job, even if he did have to work fast.”
“It’s beautiful. It’s wonderful.” She looked up. “How can I ever thank you for this?”
Joe knelt on the opposite side of the cradle. “You don’t have to thank me.”
He needed to be alone with her. He needed to tell her that he loved her and wanted to be her husband forever. He needed to tell her all the things he’d discovered since coming to stay with her. He’d waited long enough.
“Why don’t we put this in the nursery now?”
She smiled. “Okay.” Her response was tremulous, a telltale quiver in her lower lip that warned she was fighting tears.
Joe stood, then took both her hands in his and helped her do the same. He squeezed her fingers gently, reluctant to release his hold on her.
I’m not ever going to let go of you, Alicia.
He squeezed her fingers a second time, feeling a bit misty-eyed himself. Then he reached for the cradle. “Lead the way.”
She was almost to the hall when she stopped and looked back at him. “I’ve got a bumper and matching baby blanket down in the basement. I’m going to get them. I want to see how it all looks.”
She hurried away before he could stop her.
He sighed. He supposed he could wait.
After all, what difference could a few minutes make in comparison to a lifetime?
Chapter Nineteen
Rags had been up to her old tricks again.
“What am I going to do with you?” Alicia muttered as she bent to retrieve the legal-size document with the canine teeth marks stamped upon it.
She was already walking toward Joe’s office, meaning to leave the papers on his desk, when the words Lease Agreement penetrated her mind. She stopped still: her breath caught in her throat. With a heavy heart, she scanned the front page, then turned to the second.
Joseph Palermo was scrawled on the signature line. The contract was dated December 20.
Five days ago.
On Sunday he’d held her close and let her fall asleep in his arms.
On Monday he’d signed a lease for his new apartment.
She’d known all along he intended to move after her grandfather returned to Arizona. This shouldn’t have caught her by surprise, and yet it had. Because she’d started to believe he loved her.
But he didn’t love her. He couldn’t love her. He’d told her so several times, yet she’d chosen to ignore the truth. She couldn’t do that any longer. She mustn’t.
For his sake as well as for her own.
“Hey, you coming?” Joe called down to her.
“Yes.” Still holding the lease agreement in one hand, she grabbed the bumper pad and blanket and cradle sheet, then walked toward the stairs. “I’m coming.”
He waited for her in the kitchen. “I set the cradle near the window.” He cupped her left elbow with one of his hands. “But I think I can feel a draft through the glass.”
He was a good, kind man, she thought as she allowed him to propel her toward the nursery. He’d done her an enormous favor. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t love her. She had no right to feel hurt and betrayed.
“So?” He released her arm and stepped ahead of her into the room. “What do you think?”
“I think we need to talk.”
“No, I meant how does the cradle look in this room.”
She dropped the items she carried. Everything except for the lease. That she held toward him. “Rags got into your office again.”
He took the papers from her hand, his smile gone. “I didn’t mean for you to see this.”
“Why? Don’t you want me to know where you live?”
“That isn’t what I meant.” He raked the fingers of one hand through his hair. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have said before now, only—”
Alicia turned toward the door. “Grandpa, could you come here please?”
“Alicia, wait. I need to—”
“Grandpa.”
Her grandfather appeared in the doorway.
She reached out and took his hand. “Grandpa, we’ve been deceiving you, and it’s time we put an end to it.”
“Deceiving me?” He looked from Alicia to Joe and back again.
“Joe isn’t the father of my baby. He…he agreed to stay with me and pretend to be my husband as a favor to me because I didn’t want you to know the truth. I didn’t want you to know I was pregnant and alone. I didn’t want to worry you and put a strain on your heart.”
“But you married Joe. I was there in the judge’s chambers. Remember?”
“He’s my husband in name only. We haven’t…we haven’t done anything we shouldn’t. You should know that I was married to the baby’s father. Briefly. He left me after three weeks. You were right about not rushing into marriage. Grant didn’t love me.” She lowered her gaze, not wanting to see the disappointment in her grandfather’s eyes. “As soon as you return to Arizona, the plan was for Joe to move out. The marriage will be annulled. But I…I guess there’s no reason for him to wait to move, now that you know.”
“Alicia…” Joe began.
She turned around. “Don’t. This isn’t your fault. It’s all mine. The idea. The lies. Everything.” Tears filled her eyes. “It’s time for you to go, Joe. It isn’t fair on either of us to drag it out. You’ve been a good sport and a good friend. You’ve gone way beyond what I should have asked of you. But the time of pretending is over.”
“If you’d give me a chance—”
“Please don’t argue. You know I’m right. Just pack up and leave.” With that she hurried out of the nursery, not wanting either of the men to see her as she broke into a thousand pieces.
She went upstairs to one of the empty bedrooms where she wouldn’t have to see Joe remove his things from her bedroom and the basement and the storage room. It would hurt too much. She sat on the floor, leaned her back against the wall and let the tears fall.
Her grandfather found her there some time later.
She looked up and asked, “Is Joe gone?”
“Not yet. He said he would return for the rest of his things in a day or two.” He pulled a folding chair from where it leaned against the wall, opened it and sat down beside her. “I’m going to remain in Idaho, if that’s all right with you, Alicia.”
Her throat grew tight with emotion. “You don’t have to turn your life upside down for me. You love it in Arizona. All your friends are there.”
“And all my family is here.”
His words unleashed another wave of tears. He let her cry, her head now resting on his thigh, his hand stroking her hair. He didn’t say another word. Simply waited and loved her in silence.
When the fresh storm of tears was spent, she told him everything. She didn’t leave out a single detail. No excuses. No justification. Just the plain unvarnished truth. It was what she should have done from the outset.
“This is my fault, too,” Grandpa Roger said when her story was complete.
“Yours?” She looked up.
He nodded. “I never should have pushed you and Joe into marriage. I should have trusted you more.” He drew a breath and let it out on a sigh. “I was so sure that love would help you work things out in time. I see now that I was wrong.”
“You weren’t completely wrong, Grandpa. I love Joe.”
His eyes widened. “Then why did you send him away?”
“Because he doesn’t love me.”
Joe put the last of his things in his SUV, then paused to look toward the house. Should he go inside and tell Alicia and her grandfather goodbye? No
. She wanted him gone. She’d made it clear enough.
If she hadn’t found that lease…
It was for the best, he supposed. He’d been about to declare his love for her. He would have if she’d let him. Maybe he’d been right all along. Maybe he would make a lousy husband and father. Maybe love wasn’t enough in his case. Maybe God had stepped in to keep him from making a huge mistake.
He got into his vehicle, turned the key and backed out of the driveway.
It didn’t take him long to drive to his Boise apartment. The streets were mostly deserted on Christmas Day. After all, people with families were with them.
Joe had no one.
The lease for his new residence had required the utilities be transferred to his name upon signing, so at least he wouldn’t be without heat and lights until the next day. That was a blessing. He even had an activated phone jack. Of course, he didn’t have a phone to plug into it, but he could pick one up tomorrow as soon as the stores opened. Until then, he had his cell phone.
Three trips between vehicle and apartment, and he’d moved in.
While the furnace pumped heat into the chilled rooms, Joe set his stereo to a station playing pop music—anything other than sounds of the holiday—then he flicked on the gas fireplace for ambience.
Neither served to improve his sense of isolation.
He thought of Alicia. He thought of the things he might have said, the things he might have done. He thought of what might have been.
But he didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to feel.
He got out his laptop, determined to work for the remainder of the day. He needed to start acting like the driven attorney he’d always been.
Alicia stood at the kitchen counter, holding the house key Joe had left behind, when her water broke. She gasped in surprise, uncertain at first what was happening. Then a band of pain tightened around her abdomen. It wasn’t strong nor was it unbearable, but it was definitely pain.
“Grandpa, come quick!”
The key clattered to the floor as another rush of fluid was discharged.
“Grandpa!” she cried, gripping the counter with both hands.
“What is it?”
“My water broke.” She looked at her grandfather as he entered the kitchen. “It’s too soon. The baby isn’t due for three weeks.”
“Stay calm. Babies are known to set their own timetables.” He patted her shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile, then he walked toward the telephone. “Where’s your doctor’s number?”
“On the bulletin board. Dr. Jamison.” She pointed, grimacing as the pain strengthened. “In the upper right-hand corner. That’s his business card.”
“I’ll call him. You go get your things together. We’ll leave for the hospital as soon as we can get a cab.”
The pain was lessening. “I could drive.”
“Nonsense.” Grandpa Roger lifted the receiver, then hesitated with his index finger poised above the keys. He glanced over his shoulder. “Go on. Get your suitcase.”
As she headed toward her bedroom, she prayed silently for her baby to be all right.
Her small suitcase had been packed for a couple of weeks now. Actually, it had been packed and unpacked at least twice a week for the past two months. It sat on the floor right next to the door. She thought about opening it, maybe taking some things out, putting something else in. She was stopped by another pain spreading from the small of her back and wrapping around her belly.
“Please don’t let anything go wrong,” she whispered. She braced her abdomen between her hands. “We’re going to be happy, you and I. I promise. I’ll make you a good mother, Ricky.”
Tears sprang to her eyes.
Humphrey, she reminded herself. Not Ricky Palermo. Humphrey Harris.
The pain receded once again. Alicia took a deep breath as she picked up her suitcase and started toward the kitchen. She stopped outside the nursery. Her gaze rested on the cradle. Inside it was the stuffed toy seal Joe had purchased at Bundles of Joy the day after he’d arrived in Idaho. She didn’t know when he’d put it there. Probably while he was packing to leave.
She entered the nursery, crossed to the cradle and picked up the stuffed animal with her free hand. She pressed the toy to her chest, remembering the day Joe bought it. She wished…
But it was useless to wish for things she couldn’t have.
She walked out of the nursery, still clutching the toy.
Despite all of Joe’s best efforts, he accomplished nothing. His thoughts drifted again and again to Alicia. To Alicia and her grandfather and her baby. To the fact that he loved her and didn’t want to lose her.
He’d made plenty of mistakes in the past month. It was his own fault she’d told him to leave. He should have told her he loved her the moment he’d realized it. But he didn’t have to make the same mistake again. His heart told him that God wasn’t trying to break them apart. Instead, God wanted to bring them together. He was sure of it. More sure than he’d been of anything in his life.
Joe’s place was with Alicia, and somehow, some way, he was going to make her see that, too.
He grabbed his car keys and his coat and headed for the door.
Chapter Twenty
“It’s too early,” Alicia told the nurse. “I’m not due for three more weeks.”
Nurse Beverly reassured her with a pat on the hand. “The fetal heartbeat is strong, and there are no signs of trouble. My guess is you’ve got a fully developed baby in there who’s eager to meet the world.”
“But—”
“Stop worrying, Ms. Harris. You’re going to have enough to do in the next few hours.”
“When will Dr. Jamison be in to see me?”
The nurse smiled patiently. “When he’s finished his Christmas dinner, I imagine.”
“He isn’t on his way now?” Alicia’s voice rose a notch with each word.
“You’ve got a ways to go, dear. Try to relax as much as you can. Take a walk around the halls. That sometimes speeds the process. And don’t worry. The doctor will get here in plenty of time.”
Alicia was positive Nurse Beverly chuckled as she left the birthing room.
A few minutes later Grandpa Roger appeared in the doorway. “Am I allowed in yet?”
“Yes. Come in.”
“What news?” Her grandfather approached the bed.
“I’m supposed to relax and enjoy myself.”
Grandpa Roger grinned.
She scooted off the table, feeling awkward, hating the hospital-issue gown. “If you laugh, Grandpa, I’ll strangle you. I swear I will.”
He nearly choked on it, but he managed to heed her warning.
“Come on. Let’s walk.” She put on her robe, then hooked her arm through his. Once they were out in the hall, she asked, “Did you call Susie?”
“Yes, but I got her answering machine.”
“Feel up to being my coach?”
He patted her arm. “I’m honored to be asked.” He chuckled softly. “Don’t know how much help I’ll be. In my day men were relegated to the waiting room.”
She thought of Joe and the birthing classes. She remembered how she’d leaned against his chest, the way he’d touched her abdomen, the deep timbre of his voice.
I need you, Joe. I want you with me.
When nobody answered the door after several rings, Joe began to worry. Alicia’s car was in the garage, but the house appeared to be empty. No sounds came from within. It was possible she’d seen who was outside and was ignoring him. If that was the case, he should leave.
But he couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. He used the key Alicia kept hidden beneath a stone near the back porch.
“Alicia?”
He stepped into the kitchen.
“Mr. Harris?”
Rags galloped into the kitchen, acting delighted to see him.
“Hello, girl.” He patted the dog’s head. “Where’s Alicia?”
The back of his neck tingled as
he walked through the empty house, Rags following at his heels. He searched all the rooms on the main floor, then he checked the basement, then he checked the main floor a second time. He told himself not to panic, but it was getting harder to listen to the voice of reason.
Perhaps Alicia and Grandpa Roger were with a friend. Maybe they went with Susie to a movie. It hadn’t exactly been a joyous Christmas Day in the Harris household. Maybe Alicia wanted to take her mind off him.
When he entered the master bedroom for the third time, he was greeted by Rosie’s familiar growl. The feline was coiled on the sofa, watching him with a haughty glare.
“I don’t have time to mess with you, cat.”
He turned to leave and then stopped.
The suitcase. Alicia’s maternity suitcase. She’d kept it by the door, and now it was gone.
His pulse quickened with alarm. The “don’t panic” command was useless now. He raced to the kitchen where he yanked the phone directory from its drawer. With clumsy fingers he leafed through the pages until he found the listing for the hospital. In the midst of dialing the number, he had to hang up twice due to punching the wrong keys. But finally he did it right.
He barely let the receptionist say the hospital’s name before he asked. “Has an Alicia Harris checked into the maternity ward?”
He assumed the following silence meant the woman was checking her records.
“Yes, sir. She’s there now.”
“Thanks,” he said a split second before dropping the receiver in its cradle.
He was out the door in a flash.
Mothers in labor walked the halls of the maternity ward, going around and around and around the same circuitous route. Occasionally one of them would change directions to break the monotony. When they passed one another, they smiled, as if their conditions had made them friends, comrades in arms.
Alicia’s pains had grown in intensity, and still the nurse said she had a long way to go before serious labor would begin. Little Humphrey Harris, Alicia decided around her third hour of labor, was going to be an only child.
Bundle of Joy Page 16
