Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved

by Laveen, Tiana

  “Ahhhh....Oh God!” Fisting the sheets, he opened his eyes to look at her, through the shadows and traces of light—to look at his lover giving him due attention and delightful pleasure. Again, he rose on his elbows, about to lose complete control. She continued on, driving him completely insane. He gasped for air, fell back on the bed.

  “Ahhh...you’re killin’ me...” he groaned, smiling.

  Heat surged through him, every muscle burned and tightened. At last, she released her prisoner, and he was free to have the final say. Reaching forward, he gripped her wrist and pulled her to him, roughly and possessively. She became tangled in the sheets, and they burst out laughing as he helped her escape the linen monster. But then he turned serious when he got her where he wanted, lying in the center of the bed, beneath him. They locked gazes, drowning in each other’s eyes, as he caught her hips in his grip.

  I’m making love. We’re making love and... I love her...so much...

  And then, her legs wrapped lovingly around his body, cocooning him devotedly close to her slightly quaking form as he positioned himself just right. When she locked her hands behind his neck, the scent of her fragrance floated past, enticing him even further as they kissed one another, panting, heated air escaping their hungry mouths that freely roamed each other’s lips and cheeks. The soft curls of her hair felt damp to the touch. He traced her skin with his fingertip, softly going along the circumference of her face, while he kept his gaze on her eyes—her eyes like black star dust, glowing brightly in the night, sparkling with love.

  She’s got me...

  And then, he was ready...

  He pushed inside of her, she gasped, the utterance loud and seductive in his ear. Her natural reaction made him jerk uncontrollably and moan at the contact. Then, he moved inside her, and she echoed his movements, both in harmony.

  “Ahhhh, Mmmmm!” He gritted his teeth as her silky wetness enveloped him in a world that was all brand new and made, designed, refined just...for...him.

  He rode her into the bed with each deep thrust, his hips turning rhythmically as he found just the right groove. He’d pant and moan, and she’d follow, their love rhythm beating sincerely and deeply, one to the other, as they became one.

  “Mmmmm, baby!” She dragged her fingers across his back, leaving heat in their wake.

  “Mmmmmm, Ahhhhhh...” God, give me strength. He didn’t want to cum too fast...but damn...she felt so good.

  The sounds of their desire got louder, more intense, blending together with each lunge. Dane felt himself sink deeper and deeper into her—and not just physically. This was love...

  “I love you so much, Dane. Mmmm, it feels so good, baby!”

  As if transported to a different world, she turned her head to and fro on the pillow, lost in the moment. Her walls clenched and relaxed around him, drawing him in, pulling him deeper inside...baptizing him right then and there. He loved how her body told on her—it told him that she wanted him in her life as much as he wanted her, that she was head over heels in love with him, and that this act, this coming together, may be sin to many, but it was a blessing to them. They were now becoming one, joined together, sealing their love with a kiss from their mind, body and soul.

  So he dared to challenge the principles of his Church, to make love to her, to make himself clear, to let her know where he stood. This had little to do with sex, and far more to do with the way his heart tormented him when she was not near. He learned, with Rhapsody, there could be no sin in loving, only in taking without giving back.

  “I love you too, baby...so much...more than you’ll ever know.” He pushed harder, faster, their bodies in tune with the rising and falling tempo of the music.

  “Ahhh...Ahhh, Rhapsody...”

  Burying his face in the cradle of her neck, he gripped her hips tight and took her, with all the strength inside him. He moved further down her body, his face between her breasts, his body taut like a guitar string, electrified—her moans, sighs and cries blending into the world of sensual music they were creating. He filled her, thrusting in and out of her, —making her his very own, once and for all. Although he had been out of the game for a while, he had not forgotten the moves.

  The outside world bled in when the lights from a passing car filtered the room, settling briefly on them, on his gold crucifix and chain that dangled between them—the very thing that was supposed to divide them, made them as one. Divine, God-given love…

  Pausing for a moment, he kissed her so tenderly, as if she were a fragile doll, running his fingers gently down her cheek, before he probed deeper, making her scream out his name.

  “Dane! Ahhhh...”

  “Mmmm!”

  And then he felt her orgasm, her tight, wet spasms that squeezed him over and over and she trembled in his arms, carried away. He brought her lips to his, protecting her as her entire body shook while she fell apart...a sexual seizure that made his heart skip a beat. After she calmed, he resumed, going after his own gold, but not before sliding his thumb between them and circling her clit in tantalizing, skilled caresses.

  He felt himself draw nearer, so he rose, away from her, balancing himself on his hands, and looked down at his angel, at her glazed eyes and wondrous expression, as she kept coming apart beneath him in back-to-back orgasms. And then, he flew over the edge, joining her in the euphoria, moving faster, shaking the bed so hard, it banged into the wall with each thrust.

  “Uhhh! Uhhh!” he cried, his body tensing, taking over.

  “Mmmm, baby... Don’t hold back,” Rhapsody encouraged, rubbing her hands up and down his torso, playing delicious sexual games at this most pivotal moment, tracing his flesh slowly, licking her finger then returning it to the scene of the crime. He barreled deep within her then retreated, the noise of their lovemaking, wet and echoing, causing him to lose his mind.

  “Uhhh!....Uhhh! Oh God!” His climax gripped him, his butt cheeks tensed as he drove deeply within her, making her scream as his life force left his body and entered hers. He shivered and shook, never recalling love making feeling like that before. Out of his mind he flew, drowning in an ocean of euphoria. The waves of orgasm came and came again until he fell down on her, a soaking wet, lovely mess. He heard himself panting, but couldn’t stop, calm down, and pretty it up. His heart pounded out of his chest and his lips curved when he felt her lightly finger his hair, so lovingly, so sweetly. She embraced him, making him fall further apart, as he kept his place, resting inside of her, their bodies entangled, her nipples brushing lightly against his chest.

  After moments, they kissed, eyes locked, then kissed again. He locked his legs around hers, possessively holding her against him, never wanting to let her go. He finally felt at peace, at home. Everything was right; everything was just as he needed it to be. He wanted no further confirmation. She kissed him again, her soft lips brushed against the side of his face as he lazily rested against her.

  Soon, though, he felt her touch on the head of his member, bringing it fast back to life, without the need of a second or third invitation. Leaning over onto his side, he gave her better access, and before long, he was on his back, with her falling upon him like syrup on a sundae, covering him in her sweet essence, forcing him back inside of her. He reached for her bouncing breasts, rubbing over them, teasing them, as she drove him once again over the edge.

  That night, they made love two more times, until they were too exhausted for more. When he awoke three hours later, he was still inside of her, and she was fast asleep, with a big smile on her face... And he delighted in knowing he was the reason for it.

  He kissed her and gently ran his thumb along her chin—gently, so as not to disturb her—taking in the beautiful sight of the woman who had stolen his heart. He just wanted the quiet, to enjoy the beauty before him, to seal it in his mind, and never forget the moment that he gave himself away to a woman that he simply had to have, and could not envision his world without...

  ~***~

  Rhapsody turned over on
her side, straining to focus after the black-out type sleep. The type of rest that only comes after your body has been ‘done well’, by someone who adores you simply for existing... The tight, folds of the sheets wound around her long legs as she laughed and struggled to break free once again.

  I am so clumsy lately! How did this even happen?

  Sitting up in the bed, finally free from the sheets, she rubbed her eyes, realizing what had awakened her. The smell of eggs and fried bacon wafting in from the kitchen...She looked at the clock, seeing she’d overslept.

  Oh damn!

  Leaping out of the bed naked, she made her way into her the classic jazz décor that covered the walls of her bathroom. The medicine cabinet was shaped like a clarinet, and various paintings of instruments were placed along the walls in perfect spacing. Not in the too far distance, she heard echoes coming from her kitchen—sizzling meat in a pan, the refrigerator door closing, a cabinet drawer opening and a light, low, masculine hum. She grinned, feeling joy and enthusiasm like a little girl, as she ran her hands under cool water and washed up. Grabbing a towel, she dried herself off and left the bathroom. She just wanted to see him again...look into the eyes of the man who had made love to her body, heart and mind, all night long. She walked into the kitchen, catching his bare muscular, tanned back as he stood by the stove, shaking the frying pan, grease popping.

  He stood there in only his jeans, and she felt her flower open, wanting another go round.

  Damn...

  His shoulder muscles shifted, his skin glistening, while he moved slowly from side to side, his hair in beautiful messy contrasts against the sun peering into the small window—dark wheat, touches of auburn, but mostly rich mahogany with a kiss of blond that would go almost unnoticed. She continued to stare at his tresses; so intriguing to her even after all this time. Most people could be described as blond, redhead or brunette—but not Dane. Though most of it was a dark brown, the lighter portions weaved their magic, and that was what she’d first noticed about him in high school...and coincidentally, also the first thing she’d noticed when she saw him again, after all those years...

  That, and those eyes.

  She walked further inside the small kitchen and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his back. With his free hand, he caressed her arm, as if he’d been expecting her. She peered over his shoulder as he kept his eye on the hot skillet, and ran her finger over the soft, downy hairs covering his arm.

  “Don’t you have to get back?” she asked sleepily.

  “Yes, but...I preferred to be with you right now,” he answered, shooting her a small smile. “I know you have to get to work soon, we both do, but I thought I’d cook us something to eat before I left.”

  “So sweet of you, thank you.” She rose on her tippy toes and kissed the side of his neck before leaving him to sit herself at the two-seater table with hand-painted strawberries bordering the circumference. She caught him glance her way a time or two, scanning her nude body.

  Yeah, I’m still naked...

  Smirking, she set her elbows on the table and tapped her finger playfully against her teeth, knowing full well the effect she was having on him. While she sat there, he kept looking back, raw desire blazing in his eyes. Bringing a leg up, she placed her foot on the edge of her chair and rested her head on her knee, staring at him like a tiny puppy wanting a good cuddle. He looked back, his eyes drifting toward her partially exposed sweet bits, then, with a regretful look, he turned back around and concentrated on the food preparation.

  Taking out two blue plates from her cabinet, he placed the hot food on them, arranging it just so, with thick slices of strawberries and juicy, green grapes.

  Rhapsody briefly looked away into the living room.

  “It’s still raining. I wonder how long this is going to last? I’ll have to cut my grass sooner because of this. I hate mowing the lawn.” She smiled and shook her head.

  He walked up to her with a glass of juice and the loaded plate, and set them in front of her.

  “I’ll cut it for you,” he offered.

  Sitting across from her, he bowed his head and prayed.

  This is crazy. He made love to me all night, tore my body up like he’d just been released from prison...

  She grinned to herself at her thoughts.

  Now, here he sits, praying, and getting ready to chow down…serving me food, too. Truth is stranger than fiction. And I love this man. I love that he has these strong beliefs and is still going to do something about it. I love his beautiful blue eyes, that hair, that smile, those muscles...damn...and his...yeah, that too...

  Picking up her fork, she tried to gander his attention as she worked her plate over. The only communication was their forks hitting the plate, the lifted glass being returned to the table and the audible chews. His face appeared tense, serious, as he ate, as if drifting away from her in some way, then back toward her. She hoped it was simply paranoia, and debated asking to probe his mind. Instead, she rose from her seat, walked over to her CD player—the old one she kept off to the side—and popped in one of her favorite CDs by the songwriter, Freckles the Writer. “Uh Huh” came on first, filling the space with music.

  That’s better.

  She returned to her seat, folding her leg under her, and ate. Occasionally, she looked in his direction, but he kept his head down, eating, living inside himself and closed off from her. She began to feel uncomfortable, like she wanted to put something on, like her robe, but she simply relied on the music to ease her woes as it always did. She began to sing the lyrics and bounce to the rhythm, popping the fork in and out of her mouth. At one point, his fork hit the plate a bit louder, and she looked at him. This time, he was staring at her.

  “I’ve never heard this song before...I like it.” He looked back down and clasped his hands together.

  “It’s a really good song. The artist is also a song writer and has written music for some pretty big names...but,” she shrugged as she picked with a slice of bacon, “she isn’t as well-known as she should be.”

  “She?” his eyebrow rose. “Hmmm, thought it was a guy, great song. I’ll have to buy a copy of it.”

  Silence reigned again for a few moments.

  Suddenly, he pushed his chair back, seized her and lifted her into his arms. Ignoring her shrieks, he carried her into the living room, over to the piano, and sat her bare behind roughly on the keys, pressing them down into a distorted, uneven groan. Kissing her so hard it knocked the breath out of her like oral armed robbery, he unzipped his pants and entered her, thrust in and out, letting the piano play out the distorted tunes of their lovemaking. Her butt rose and fell aggressively off the keys, while he gripped her tightly around her waist, making her come to him over and over again.

  “Uhhh!”

  He buried his head on her shoulder, his eyelashes tickling her skin, warm breath caressing the side of her neck, as he continued to move expertly in and out of her, thrusting and moaning. “Ahhhh...” he whispered in her ear. Their bodies continued to make distorted music, with her flesh moving in passion across the ebony and ivory. She gripped him tightly, feeling her own orgasm heightening and heightening until it burst forward, causing her to jerk against his hard body. He gripped the back of her head, the warmth of his hand heated her curls, giving comfort, and he didn’t stop, he kept going, seeing her through her climax.

  “Mmmm.” She grew wetter, throbbing and pulsating against him, and gripped him closer, his back now slick with sweat. “Uh!” He dove deep and downward, cupping her behind, fully immersed inside of her. All his length and thickness, filling her up, the tightness paramount.

  “Uhhh! Uh! Ahhh!” He thrust in short jabs and she felt him hasten, knowing he was close.

  “I love you so much, Rhapsody...so much!” and then she felt the warmth shooting into her as her body twisted against his. After a while, he slowed, then lifted her into his arms and placed her down carefully on the couch, lying on top of her, their bodies, wet, vi
brating and intertwined. He smiled down at her and moved curly spirals of hair away from her face.

  “This has been difficult,” she blurted out, the emotions bursting forward. Her heart couldn’t take it anymore. She’d tried to dance around this, just as he had—to pretend they were just friends when the entire time, they’d been falling in love, and now that he’d been inside of her, everything came to a culmination and her spirit cried out. When he hadn’t shown up at the park, she felt vulnerable. But instead of running away from the pain, she ran for help... For the first time in years, she’d done the unthinkable.

  “Dane.” She kissed his forehead as he rested on her breasts. “I prayed last night. It was the first time in years. I’m so in love with you. A part of me is so scared...so afraid you’ll change your mind, or that in some way I have messed up things for you. But I can’t deny my heart and how I feel, I just can’t.” Her eyes watered, she quickly wiped the moisture away, refused to lose complete control of the situation, although she needed to come clean. The man had confided his deepest thoughts and secrets, it was the least she could do.

  He rose on his elbows and looked down at her, his expression thoughtful.

  “Well, I’ve been praying about this a long time and at this point, Rhapsody, I just understand that I can’t be expected to be the same man I was while a junior in college, and have to stick by all of those choices. At the time, it was the right thing to do. I helped a lot of people, and that is the reason I was there.” He said it so confidently, so matter-of-factly. It gave her peace that she could fully trust him, made her relax a bit more.

  “We have to be real about this though. We made love, Dane.” She shook her head, her body still so thankful for what they’d done.

  “Yes, we made love,” he said with tired eyes, as if the entire world were on his shoulders. “And I know according to my faith, because we aren’t married, that was wrong, Rhapsody. I am not going to sit here with you and pretend like I don’t remember what the Lord says about fornication, lovemaking outside of marriage. I knew when I came over here last night what may happen. But I needed you; I was at a point, where I needed the physical contact. I know that my love for you will come as a shock to so many… I never once complained to anyone about the priesthood. I never confessed that I was lonely. I should have, but I didn’t. No one even knew until fairly recently, that I may actually be in a situation, so to speak.” He cupped her chin.