by Brenna Darcy
“Whenever there’s a death on the roads the town is crawling with cops for the next few weeks, and although the locals don’t usually have a problem with them, it creates tension they’d rather avoid, I guess.”
Flic knew Mim wouldn’t be guessing about anything. She understood the mentality of the locals better than anyone. Disturbing the relaxed atmosphere of an entire town weighed on her conscience, the burden of the load crippling.
“Hey don’t look so worried, no one is pointing the finger here and even if they were it wouldn’t be at you.”
“Thanks, Mim.” Flic didn’t feel reassured, but was grateful Mim was gracious enough to try.
At the rate dinner was coming to an end for most of the customers that night, Flic thought they’d be lucky to be working until ten, and was surprised when at half past nine Dave walked into the restaurant. Mim was wandering past, so Flic left him to her. She had nothing to say to him and, having caused enough trouble for Mim already, was unwilling to have another domestic dispute there.
“Look Mim, I just want to talk to her, please give her a break and we’ll take it outside.”
“She might not want to talk to you, did you ever think of that? I wouldn’t if I were her.”
“Just let me ask her, please Mim.” Dave was begging.
“Fine, but if she asks you to leave—” Mim warned, but didn’t continue.
“Hi.” Dave walked up to where she stood loading glasses into the dishwasher. “Can we talk?”
“You can if you want to, but I have nothing to say.”
“Come for a walk with me then.”
Had he been drinking? Dave had never been so demanding of her before, and his irrational request for her to leave work to walk with him was out of character.
“I’m working.”
Dave looked around at the quiet restaurant.
“Hey Mim, Flic’s taking a fifteen minute break, okay.” He smiled sweetly at her.
“You two are bad for business. Can you please go and talk with him, Flic, and neither of you come back until it’s sorted.”
Begrudgingly Flic closed the dishwasher door, untied the apron from around her waist and dropped it on the bar top. Not wanting to cause another scene within close proximity of the restaurant, she stormed out toward the car park.
“Get in the car.”
“Your drunk, I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“We aren’t driving and for your information I’m not drunk, thanks.”
“Fine.” Flic wanted to get this over with so she could go back to work. Once inside the car she waited. She’d been serious about not having anything to say.
“Look, I’m sorry. Nothing will make up for what I did, but I truly am sorry.”
“Is that all, can I go now?”
“Please Flic, talk to me. We’re in this mess because we didn’t talk.”
“No we’re in this mess because you trusted the word of a drunk abusive man and didn’t wait around to hear my side of the story. You even believed I walked out on Ellie, didn’t you?”
“Well, how was I supposed to know? You didn’t talk to me.”
“It was our first official date, I didn’t completely trust you because, well, you know why. Have all your dates in the past issued you with a biography before you went out for the first time?”
“You know I haven’t dated much.”
“No, and I won’t be recommending it either. You left me in a horrible situation before finding out the truth. If it hadn’t been for Mim who knows what might have happened.”
Dave cringed.
His reaction meant little to her, and she didn’t give a damn if they never saw each other again. There was no excuse for his behaviour this time, and no way would she let him off lightly. “I won’t apologise for not telling you about my past, I’m guessing Lacey’s filled you in on what that bastard did to me, and what he did to our little girl. I don’t want to talk about it with you. I don’t trust you. Now is that sorted out enough for me to go back to work?”
“I don’t think that was what Mim had in mind.”
“Maybe not, but there will be no flowers or kiss and make up this time. The you and me thing is off.”
“Okay, I can’t deny I’m upset to hear that, but what about the cottage?”
“I have three weeks as of Sunday to find somewhere else, unless you’d prefer I leave immediately?” Flic would go back to the hotel if she had to, at least for a while.
“I don’t want you to go. You can stay there as long as you want. You don’t have to see me, or even acknowledge I’m there, I’ll stay out of your way.”
No matter how much she avoided him, no amount of pretending would convince her he wasn’t next door. From the moment she first saw him, his presence was more prominent in her mind than even her own.
“You said it was a deal between friends, maybe you’d like to renegotiate terms seeing as the path to my bed will never be cleared for you.”
“It was never about that. Besides I still think of you as my friend even if the feeling isn’t mutual.”
“Well it’s not, we tried, but I’ve already experienced too many complications in my life without willingly subjecting myself to more.”
“Okay, I get the picture. You don’t like me, or trust me and I’m an asshole. I get it. Come back to the cottage and you won’t even know I exist, you’ll see.”
It’d take more than words for him to convince her that she could forget he lived twenty meters away. He wasn’t to know that. He hurt her and she was angry, but still Flic longed for his touch, which annoyed her all the more.
“Can I go back to work now, or is there something else?”
“I wish there was, but that’s your call now.”
“I call no.”
Flic didn’t say goodnight, but got out of his car and walked back to the restaurant. Mim was busy when she walked in, which pleased Flic because she didn’t want to answer any questions or explain to anyone.
Dave frustrated her so much she could cry. She was being stubborn and jeopardising her chances of being with him, she realised that. Despite their ups and downs he was a decent guy who she cared about more than she let on. As good as he made her feel at times, the moments he made her feel bad left her uncertain she’d be able to bounce back, all resilience gone. At this point in her life, it was a risk she wasn’t willing to take.
All she could hope for now was Lacey to understand her reasons for closing him out of her life and being so harsh to deny him friendship. Getting close to him, when she clearly lacked restraint to his charm, was too much of a risk. Having her already shattered heart reduced to dust was a gamble she wasn’t prepared to take.
The renege of his eviction notice was an instant relief. In no way did she feel indebted to him, owing any more than the agreed price for rent each week.
Lacey had been a better friend than she had, offering support each time the relationship with her brother turned sour. Never too busy or overwhelmed by all she had to do, she was so selfless and giving. Flic valued their friendship and would commit more attention to returning the gesture. Interaction with Dave drained her of her energy—always trying to get it right wasn’t easy to keep up. The complete opposite, time spent with Lacey like a recharge station. So, instead of the emotional vampire she’d been in the past, Flic vowed to put their friendship ahead of self-absorption.
Lacey always appeared to have everything so together and organised. Flic suspected some of it a charade like there was something she’d missed, whilst caught up in her own problems. Exactly what was impossible to pinpoint, as Lacey kept up a peaceful flow too flawless to see through.
Chapter Thirteen
OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS Flic did her best to avoid Dave, but given he lived on the same property, dined at the restaurant she worked in, and his sister was her other boss, it was near impossible. If that wasn’t enough, the novel she had been writing was coming along nicely, as a romance. Nothing about her situation left r
oom for forgetting his existence.
She had no one to blame but herself. From the moment it was over with Jason, she was convinced she had nothing left to offer a relationship with another man. The moments she indulged in with Dave had her second-guessing, but not for long enough to give them a chance.
Jason’s attempt to come between her and happiness had worked, but only because she allowed it to.
THURSDAY NIGHTS WERE the worst. Doris and the rest of the ladies at meditation were delighted when Flic and Dave were heading in the direction of becoming an item. They didn’t quite grasp that it was a very short-lived relationship.
The restaurant incident all but made headlines so they were in the loop of updates. The gossip wasn’t so damaging for her reputation as she expected. Rumour had it Flic escaped her alcoholic husband and he’d somehow manage to track her down. Dave was the one copping the hard time because he left her stranded in an abusive situation.
Despite Flic’s attempt to take partial responsibility, for keeping him in the dark about her past, made little difference. They thought he behaved like a spoilt brat and should have stuck by her.
Part of her agreed, but Flic didn’t like him wearing the blame, and told him so.
“I deserve it, so forget about it.” His form of a brush off, she guessed.
Despite what they thought he should have done, they still had plenty of suggestions for what he could be doing in the future.
Settling down for class, Dave scooped Ty up and issued his usual kiss to Lacey and Mim.
“You’re forgetting someone. Don’t mind us, we’ll look away if you’re shy.”
Dave flushed, and headed to the door faster than Flic had seen him leave before. She felt sorry for him. This was his town more than hers, and he stuck around each week to look out for these women. He didn’t have to, but he genuinely cared about them.
Flic stood and followed him into the store.
“Be nice in front of my son,” Lacey called after her.
Dave had almost reached the front door, before she spoke.
“Dave, can I have a word please?”
He stopped and turned to face her. “Do you really think now’s a good time to start talking?”
“As good as any.”
Dave set Ty down. “Go get yourself a lolly pop, and get me one too.”
Ty set off to retrieve the jar from behind the counter.
“Okay, talk.”
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re getting a hard time about us and all that went on.”
Dave shrugged. “Is that all?”
“No. I don’t want you to be angry. I want to be friends like you suggested. It’s too awkward for less when our paths cross so often.”
“I’ve been travelling this path for most my life, Flic, what do you want me to do, reroute because of this?” He pointed from her to himself. “Not happening.”
“I don’t expect that, I just don’t want things to be weird between us.”
Dave ran his hands through his hair and began to pace, stalking over to her he held her cheeks in his hands and kissed her. He took her by surprise. This wasn’t what she’d been referring to. Stepping away from her as Ty returned with two lolly pops, Dave didn’t break eye contact. “Come on Ty, let’s go.” He bent to pick him up, and then stood up. “Now do you understand why it’s weird between us? We want different things, which usually means someone doesn’t get what they want. I guess in this case it’s both of us.”
Flic nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Are you giving Lacey a lift?”
She nodded.
“Thanks, I’ll see you.”
“You will, yes,” Flic whispered, as she watched him leave before returning to the meditation room.
Her cheeks blazed hot with the blush she imagined visible for everyone to witness. They all laughed when she entered, which didn’t help.
“I guess he gave you that kiss after all.” Doris teased.
“You were spying?” She accused, looking directly at Lacey.
“Hey, don’t look at me it was Mim’s idea.”
“Oh you little—no we were not spying, but thanks for the confirmation.”
Flic’s cheeks continued to burn. She’d walked right into that one. “It doesn’t mean anything, we want different things. It’s not his fault, it’s mine. Dave has done so much more for me than you can ever imagine, and I’m grateful—”
“Grateful isn’t the emotion a man’s looking for, and believe me when I tell you, we may be old, but there’s nothing wrong with our imaginations,” said Doris.
The room erupted into laughter and continued long after Flic attempted to explain herself.
“I think I should stop talking now,” she said, having no other choice but to laugh along with them.
It took longer than usual for Lacey to settle them, but everyone was relaxed and happy, the whole point of the class. Even if she was the topic for their amusement, the opportunity to laugh and joke around was a welcomed change to the uptight existence she’d begun to slip back into.
More relaxed, Flic still had trouble settling into the meditation, to shut the image of Dave out of her mind—the touch of his skin on her skin, his mouth on her mouth. She wanted to kiss him back, but what right did she have. Just as she had no right to get upset, or protest if he chose to kiss another woman.
This was something she hadn’t wanted to consider. Living in such a small town, there would be no way of avoiding him when he did eventually find someone he wanted to be with. She’d have to suck it up and witness a stranger sharing the kisses and touch she wanted for herself, but was too scared to allow.
FLIC ENJOYED WORKING at the shop, and spending time with Lacey and Ty. Sometimes after they closed up, the three of them would take a drive and walk along the beach so Ty could play. Sand castle competitions were his favourite.
Flic was use to the traditional, sand in a bucket and tip, type sandcastles, but here, in Margaret River, they created sand sculptures.
“Let’s make a pirate ship with lots of treasure,” Ty suggested.
“Ok, but I’m pretty tired tonight so you’ll have to do most of the work,” Lacey warned.
Together the three of them made a sand sculptured pirate ship, under Ty’s direction.
Lacey looked exhausted when they finished, her face had paled and hands were shaking. Flic pulled a bottle of water from her bag and handed it to her. “You don’t look so great, are you feeling all right?”
“Not really, I just need to rest, it’ll pass in a few minutes.” Lacey lay down on the sand to watch Ty run around, and through their creation.
“You know, so many people tried to talk me out of continuing my pregnancy with Ty.” Lacey’s voice was difficult to hear over the crashing waves.
“Why would they want you to do that?”
“Because his dad is a pro surfer who was only in town for six weeks.” Lacey looked over at Flic, probably trying to gage her reaction.
“So, just because you didn’t know him long doesn’t mean your feelings for him were less.” Flic had strong feelings for Dave within a matter of a few weeks. Sometimes she wondered if those first few months harboured some of the strongest feelings of a relationship.
Lacey sighed. “I was in love with him for years before I met him. When he noticed me I believe it fate, as though we were meant to be together.”
“Maybe you were—to have Ty,” Flic suggested. There had to be some explanation as to why two lives came together at a point in time. Even she didn’t believe it was by chance, and what more proof did they need than flesh and blood.
“I think so. He wasn’t interested when I emailed him about the pregnancy, told me to send my bank details and he’d pay for me to take care of it. I never contacted him again.” Lacey sighed. “My brother is the only positive male influence in Ty’s life. I’m lucky to have his support.”
Lacey stopped talking, and sat up, sipped some more water and settled back again.
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Flic gazed out over the ocean. Life was not so different to the massive expanse before her. There were the smooth almost flat sections, the obvious wave crashing moments, and the push pull of directions within the rip. Those emotionally sentimental depths of despair and, at times, shallow confrontations that tossed around the sand, seaweed and debris. Each encounter offered a different experience. Entering willingly, or not, only to come out feeling satisfied, fearful, scathed, or unchanged. Whatever the result, you often returned for more.
It was beginning to cool off. Insisting she was feeling much better, Lacey called to Ty and they strolled back up the beach.
“So how’s the novel coming along?”
Flic groaned. “I think it’s a bit of a childish fantasy and I should go back to watching television, or reading.” In some ways Flic wished she’d never set the goal for herself, now determine to follow through until writing the end.
“You should ask Dave for help, he really is very good you know.”
“I know he is, I’ve read all of his books remember—and that’s my point, he and so many others are already good.”
“So what, you could be too, but you won’t know until you try.”
Flic didn’t reply. Staring out, over the sea she thought how nice it would be to paint a picture with words of how beautiful the setting sun was that evening. The warmth that still radiated as it slipped below the horizon and cast light across the ocean, making way for the moon to take its place in the sky.
“Do you enjoy writing?”
“Yes, but it’s frustrating when it doesn’t come easy.”
“Isn’t that half the fun, the challenge, the sense of accomplishment upon reaching the end?”
“I’ll have to let you know. I’m only at the frustrated part. I hope to get to that stage, even if it is a waste of time.”
“It’s never wasted time when you’re doing something you enjoy. Think of it as a form of relaxation. I know councillors that use writing as a way to release blockages, it’s meant to be very useful, it hasn’t helped Dave much though.”
“Have you read his novels? They’re hardly set upon therapeutic story lines unless you’re a serial killer, or something as equally twisted. Actually, I’m surprised he’s so balanced.”
