by Hilary Storm
Ivy: I’m at Aiden’s. Don’t go to the apartment. Where are you?
Eaven: At Talon’s. What’s wrong?
Ivy: I’ll be there to talk to you soon.
Eaven: WTH is going on?
Ivy: I’ll talk to you when I get there.
I roll over to the opposite side so I can step out of bed without disturbing Aiden. I pass the mirror on my way to the bathroom and stop to see the empty girl staring back at me. Her face looks sad and swollen. Her cheek is turning ugly colors and her hair is terrible.
I reach to brush my fingers over her cheek, stopping when my fingers smear prints on the mirror. I startle as I hear Aiden stir. I turn to see him watching me.
I make my way to the bathroom and try to pretend to care what I look like today. I decide another shower is needed. The memory of last night’s shower comes to mind and I force myself to breathe through the initial heart rate increase. I find a trial size bottle of shampoo in a drawer that doesn’t smell like man and attempt to scrub myself clean. I really need conditioner for my hair, but I will make do with what I have. I let the water run over my shoulders and relax my sore muscles.
I turn off the water and stop myself before I open the door. I decide in that moment that I have to be stronger than this. I will not be a victim. I decide that when I slide this door open, I will be moving on. I won’t live in the past. I have done this before with my mother. I just close the awful door and walk through a new one. It’s simple. Or so I tell myself. Taking a deep breath, I slide the shower door open. I notice the cool air brush across my skin and welcome the refreshing feeling of it.
I find a clip of Macy’s and opt for the slouchy look over trying to fight these knots. I put Aiden’s clothes back on and toss mine from last night in the trash. I know I wasn’t wearing them at the time, but I don’t want anything to remind me of last night.
Aiden is waiting by the door for the bathroom when I walk out.
“Good morning! Thanks for letting me stay last night. I really appreciate everything. I’m going to meet up with Eaven.” I smile at him and start for the bedroom door.
“Don’t you need a ride?”
“I guess I do.” I can’t even think straight. I am trying to act tough and over it and my mind is a mess.
“Let me shower and I will take you.” He leaves me in the room alone. I force my mind to think about something pleasant. I immediately think of Taron, so I grab my phone to send him a text.
Ivy: How is the bus ride? Miss you already.
Taron: Really??
Ivy: Yes
Taron: You’re a piece of work
Ivy: What?
Taron: Really?
Ivy: Yes, did I stutter?
Taron: No you were very clear.
Ivy: Is this you talking to me every day?
Taron: Beginning quote “““““““I DON’T SHARE”““““““ Fucking end quote
Ivy: Ok?
Taron: I’m done. Text cowboy.
~Five~
Taron
I must have fallen asleep sometime shortly after we left. I wake to the sound of nothing. The bus isn't moving. I don’t hear voices. Nothing.
I roll over and grab my phone. I manage to take a piss in the smallest bathroom ever made, and grab some pain reliever for my splitting headache. I stumble out the door to see a big ass Texan eating a hamburger on a billboard. Shit. What I need is a big fucking cowboy to piss me off.
I slam the door and go inside. I find them all at a table and they stare at me wide eyed as I pull up a chair.
“What?” I ask them. I shrug my shoulders and steal a potato from Lilly's plate when none of them answer. I don’t care what they think.
“So, what has your ass on cloud nine?” Talon is the only one brave enough to ask.
“I don’t know what you mean. I'm good. It's all fucking good.”
“Sure it is.”
“Can you just drop it? It will all be great when we go on tomorrow night. I'm ready to be in the spotlight again. I need some action.”
I order a steak and eat everything in sight. I always eat and drink a ton the day after I get drunk. Some people can't function the next day. I am just a bottomless pit.
I finally get my fill and we load up again. I pull out my phone when it starts to vibrate. I can see that it isn't a name that I have programmed so I let it go to voice mail.
Once the message is received, I listen to it.
“Hey, Taron! It's Emily. I can't wait to hang with you tomorrow night. I just thought I would see when you’ll be here. Maybe we can hook up before the concert. Call me if you want to. I'll see you soon.”
I’m sure Emily will be waiting for me when we arrive. I tuck my phone in my pocket and mentally plan to call her when we check in to the hotel. We pull back on the highway and continue the longest ride in history.
I head back to the same bed that I crashed in earlier with the plan to do it again. This is the longest fucking drive of my life. I want to sleep this shit off.
I lie awake as the bus burns up the miles. I can’t seem to shake off the memories of Ivy. I am just so pissed at myself for thinking that we were going to try a relationship together. This probably works out best anyway. I can live up to my reputation and just hook up every night. No strings. No commitments. No worries. I just hope I can get her out of my head.
I feel my phone vibrate again. It's Ivy texting.
I like how she has the nerve to act like everything is perfect. I can't deal with her right now. I was an idiot to think we could be more than a great fuck.
A great fuck is an understatement. She has my mind going all different directions. I want to feel numb about her like I do any other girl that climbs out of my bed. Hell, some never make it to my bed at all.
It is much easier when you don’t have the complications. Just walk away after the deed is done. Walk. The. Fuck. Away.
I can't sleep so I make my way to the front of the bus and find everyone else crashed. I make a beeline to the alcohol at Luke's feet and take it back to the room with me. I swallow and feel the burn all the way down. It was much easier to deal with this shit when I was drunk. I hear my phone again, this time I decide to answer it.
“What?” My irritation is obvious.
“Why are you being an ass?” She sounds pissed off at me. Ivy has no right to be pissed at me.
“Why are you being a bitch?” This silences her. What, she doesn’t have a come back? She always has something to say.
“What, Ivy? Why did you call me? What more can I do for you?”
“I just needed to hear you.” I can hear hurt in her voice. Why is she doing this?
“Now you’ve heard me. What else do you want?”
“Nothing, Taron. I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to be happy.” I almost didn’t hear her. She is talking so quietly. Where is the feisty girl I know?
“I was happy, Ivy. You made me the happiest guy just as fast as you turned me into the fucking angriest. I can't let you control my emotions like this. If you want to play games, find someone else.”
“Taron, I didn’t mean to hurt you. There is nothing going on with me and anyone else. Aiden is just a friend.”
“I saw you, Ivy.”
“It's not what it looked like.”
“So he wasn’t holding you naked in his arms? You weren't holding him back? He wasn’t in your bedroom after we fucked on every possible surface in that room?”
“Yes, but nothing happened.” Her words are barely a whisper through her tears.
“Enough happened. Why would you let him in your room after everything?”
The other end goes completely silent. I can hear her crying. I close my eyes and listen to the most confusing woman that I have ever met cry. “Guilty tears hurt the worst, don’t they?” My words quickly pull her out of her moment of sobbing.
“Taron, I can't go into everything that happened. I wish I could go back to last night. I would never have fall
en asleep. You have no idea how bad I want to go back to the moment you were holding me, but I can't. No matter how many times I close my eyes, I can't seem to get back there. Please just remember that I really care about you.”
I notice the call end just as she finishes.
Please just remember that I really care about you.
She has a shitty way of showing it.
I look out the window and see that we’re still traveling through the desert. I spend the rest of the ride going over my conversation with Ivy. I let my mind replay most of our memories that we have made over the past few months. I just can't shake this feeling that I'm missing something. We might have had a struggle to connect in the beginning, but we definitely got over that in the past couple of weeks.
I decide to call her back, but it goes straight to voice mail.
Ivy
Eaven is hell bent on getting to the bottom of what is going on. I need to tell her, but I can't let Taron know. He will leave the tour and come home if he finds out. I'm pretty sure he would kill Dylan if given the chance. Hell he would kill Aiden if I didn’t keep him from it.
He deserves to be sheltered from my distractions. I want him to focus on the tour and help Rebel Walking become as successful as we know they can be. He can't do that if he feels like he needs to protect me.
“Get in here and spill it.” Eaven meets me at the door. She stops cold once she looks at my face. Her fingers brush over my bruised cheek.
“You are scaring me. Please talk to me.” She wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight. Her hold builds up strength in me. I stand there and let her build me up enough to get through this. I don’t hug her back and I know that screams the severity of my situation to her.
I start to breakdown and she leads me to Taron's couch. In Taron's house. I feel him everywhere. I have to use that to get me through this conversation.
“Dylan tried to rape me last night.” She puts both hands over her mouth and tears begin to run down her face. I knew she would feel my hurt as deeply as I do.
“Where? When? How? I thought you left with Taron.” I swallow past the lump in my throat to tell her.
“In my room after Taron left.”
“Oh My God. Taron came here for his bags to go back to you. Was it then?” It all clicks into place at this moment. He was coming back to wake up with me. He must have seen me with Aiden after Dylan left the apartment.
“Yes I woke up to Dylan sitting in that black chair in the corner of my room. I was naked and he….” I stop talking because the urge to vomit over takes me. She doesn’t push for details. I finally compose myself and swallow down the urge to throw up. This is progress.
“Aiden busted down the door to save me, but Dylan got away when he was checking on me.”
“How did Aiden know?”
“He saw Dylan's car in our parking lot. I managed to scream when Aiden knocked.” She doesn’t wait to wrap me in her arms again.
“I should've been there.”
“I'm glad you weren't.”
“Please tell me that you went to the police.”
“Yes, Aiden took me.”
“Where did you stay last night?”
“I stayed at Aiden's. He let me sleep on the bed and he never left my side. He slept next to me on the floor all night long.”
“You should have called me.” I notice how upset the look on her face is. I guess I should have called her.
“I honestly didn't want to talk about it. I still don’t. I can't tell anyone else about this.”
“Did you tell Taron?”
“No, and I'm not going to.”
“What? You have to.”
“No, Ev. He will leave the tour and ruin everything for the entire band. I can take care of this.”
“Where are we going to stay?”
“I am thinking you could stay here at Talon's and I will see if Aiden will let me stay there for awhile.”
“You will stay here too. Just take Taron's room. I will tell Talon tonight.”
“I don’t want him to know.”
“Ivy, I can't keep secrets from him. He will want to get security for us.”
“I'm not asking you to keep secrets. I just know he will tell Taron.”
“I'll ask him not to.”
She calls Talon. I can tell he is losing his mind the instant she tells him what is going on. She has to work to get him to calm down. She tells him multiple times that he doesn’t need to catch a flight home. They both finally agree to set up a security system and he demands to send back Holden for awhile to look after us. She finally agrees to Holden to get him to calm down.
This is great. I went from two people knowing to two people plus Taron's entire family. I tuck my legs under my chin and hold on while I listen to one side of the rest of their conversation.
“Ok. Fly us in at Boston. We will be on break and we can road with you for a couple of days or so. I will schedule our dress fittings in one of the bridal shops and spend all of your money.” She is working him to try to calm him down. I can tell by her tactics that she is having to work extra hard.
“Ok, I love you too, baby. I promise we will stay safe. You just have to promise to stay on tour and keep Taron from knowing.” There is a long pause.
“You have to, Talon. I promised her that I wouldn’t let you tell him.”
“I know you think he needs to know. Can we talk about it tonight?”
“I locked them already. We won't leave the house until your dad or Aiden can take us.”
“He saved her from being raped. What more can he do to prove to you guys that he is a good guy? You know what, never mind. We will be at Aiden's house.”
“Well don’t give me your jealousy crap when I'm here worrying about our safety. Do you think I would ever act on anything if someone tried?”
“I love you too. We will talk about it more tonight. I swear if you tell him that I will cut you off for all eternity. So think about that when you consider your loyalties.” They end the call and I look over at a frustrated Eaven.
“Talon flipped out. I should have known he would want to fly back. Holden will be on his way here tomorrow.” She notices the frown on my face. “You can't expect him not to keep us safe. Talon will take care of you even if you are not with Taron because you are important to me. I really wish that you would tell Taron.”
“He doesn't want to hear from me.”
“What? Why?”
“He walked in when Aiden was holding me. I was still naked, but wrapped in a sheet. I'm positive he saw that and let his mind paint a different picture.”
“Seriously? You were almost raped and he is worried about cowboy holding you.”
“He doesn’t know the whole story.”
“I know! I'm really rooting for you two. You have to give him a chance to prove he is worthy of loving.”
Her words hit me hard. I realize that I haven't given him a chance. How many times did I nag him about not sharing? I can't even be honest with him when all I want is to let him hold me and for him to pick up the pieces of my heart that are scattered. My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. My insides instantly tremble as Eaven checks the peep hole in the door.
“Aiden and Macy are here!”
“Hey baby girls! How are you? Are you missing your men? I brought you something to help!” Macy pulls out two bottles of wine and, for once, the thought of alcohol is not at all appealing.
I notice Aiden come in and shut the door behind him. He looks over at me and I can't help but feel safer with him here. Macy and Eaven disappear to the kitchen. Aiden makes his way to sit beside me.
“I didn’t tell Macy. I want you to stay with me until they find that asshole.”
“Aiden, thank you for everything, but I'm going to stay here with Eaven. We will have a security system installed tomorrow and Holden should be here sometime in the morning to stay with us.”
“Mighty fine. I will stay here tonight then. Macy can crash here a
lso. It should be easy to convince her after those bottles.” I don't argue with him. I actually like the idea a lot. He would never let anything happen to any of us.”
“The guys are looking for him. I think he left town. I will get your things from your apartment tomorrow.”
“Eaven and I will come with you. She won't have much, but I don’t want to go back there anytime soon.”
~Six~
Taron
The sound of my twin pacing and yelling has me on my feet and in the hallway moving toward him until I hear his one sided conversation.
“You don’t expect me to keep this from my brother, Ev. He is fucking heartbroken and drinking everything in sight. He needs to know.”
“EV, HE. NEEDS. TO. KNOW.” What do I need to know? My mind starts turning, but I can't imagine what would have my brother so frustrated.
“Ok, but don't think I'm done with this conversation. Lock the damn doors.”
“You don’t go anywhere with that fucking cowboy. My dad will be there soon.”
“Over my dead body will you stay at Aiden's house.” What the hell? Is that fucking cowboy after Eaven too? I'm about to beat his ass.
“I love you and I don’t want to fight like this when I'm on the road.”
“Ok. I will call you tonight with Holden's flight information.”
I walk out and look at his face. His expression tells me everything I need to know. Something is wrong with Eaven and Ivy. Something very bad. He can't hide his feelings from me. I will pick up on that shit across the country.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“I have it under control.”
“Bullshit, Talon. Tell me now.”
“Brother, you need to go home and talk to Ivy.”
