“Thanks. Welcome Curt. You can leave your jacket there.”
I walked back through the foyer and into the large dining room. Everyone was starting to get settled and I saw the look that Jessa was giving him. When she looked over at father and nodded, something between them past and I wondered if this was a set up for her. It would make sense as Curt was older, but there was something in me that wanted him for myself.
While having to go to an all-girls school could be a drag, there was nothing worse than the lack of boyfriends. I had a few outside of college, but I was pretty sure of the reason that my parents had agreed to pay my tuition if I went. Jessa had smeared the family name with her antics when she went to college for the first time. She never did actually graduate though. Instead she would drop out and start another course. She was finding herself and I didn’t want her to try that with Curt.
“So dad tells me that you are looking at several offers in the NFL after you graduate. Have you decided on a team yet?”
I looked over at Jessa and the grin on her face. She was going for it and while I resented the fact that she was, I couldn’t help but wish that I had her kind of courage. I could barely speak when he was around me and she was having no trouble at all. It was the difference between me and most girls.
I waited for the answer as did everyone else in the room. He was noncommittal, but said he was leaning towards our own state’s team. I liked the idea of him staying around, but when the subject got into money and deals, I grew bored. I could have cared less how much he would get on his first contract, but people like my sister were very interested, sizing up the mark. I didn’t know if I should feel bad for him yet. It was unclear if he would take the bait.
As the evening progressed, it became clear that I was to be sent away so that they could have time together. My father and mother were up to their old matchmaking antics, Jessa on the receiving end of it. I had to admit that I wished they had tried to set me up with Curt instead.
So I went off to sit on the porch with a drink I had snuck from the kitchen. It was a clear night and if I couldn’t have the man I wanted, at least there was a good view and liquor. The house was quiet, as well as the neighborhood. It was times like this that I missed the old family house. I was only there some weekends because I had room and board at college. The drive wasn’t too bad, but I had wanted to live more independently instead of commuting. It was days and nights like this though, that made me wish i had made a different decision.
“It’s nice out here.”
I looked up to see Curt standing next to me. I hadn’t even heard him come out.
“Is that something stronger than lemonade?”
I handed him the spiked drink and watched his face as he found out how strong it was. “I guess so. Damn, that is like pure vodka.”
Grinning I took it back and took another drink. It was kind of rough, but I needed something to calm my nerves with Jessa around. There were a lot of things we couldn’t do at school, but drinking was not something that we went without. I offered him another drink, but he put his hands up. “No, I am good.”
“Puppy.”
“Never been called that before.”
“Well I would imagine most people would tell you whatever you want to hear.”
He chuckled a little and sat down on the swing next to me. “I get the feeling that you aren’t that type of girl.”
I had never thought about what type of girl I was, but getting all moony-eyed wasn’t really my thing and even though I had a lapse when I first met him, it didn’t seem that difficult suddenly. Of course the vodka could have been helping as well. I took another drink in case that was the case. “I don’t think you are here to talk to me Curt.”
“Yeah, I get the feeling you are right about that. Seems a waste of time, doesn’t it?”
“It just makes you not believe anything that anyone says. Makes you wonder who is there for you and who is there for the money.”
“I can see that. I bet it’s going to get worse when you get drafted.”
He looked down for a minute and it seemed to genuinely bother him. I couldn’t imagine wondering what people wanted from me all of the time. I suddenly saw it through his eyes, exhausting.
“Stick with the people you know that were there before you got rich and famous. They were your true friends.”
Curt looked at me as if I had given him an epiphany. “You don’t really care about all of that, do you?”
“Not really. I am going into teaching knowing there is no money in it. You have to do what it is you love to do. You love playing don’t you? I’ve seen you at games and at practice, you look so happy, so that is what you should do. That you get paid a ton is just a bonus in my book. Everyone should do what they love.”
“You have such conviction about it.”
“Life is short.”
He got quiet again and I could tell he was thinking about something. I took another sip of the drink and offered it to him. Curt didn’t grimace that time when he took a drink and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that he needed it just as much as I did.
“Sorry if what I said bothered you. You got really quiet.”
Curt took another drink and it was almost empty when he handed me back the glass. “Yeah I just never thought of it like that. Everyone is always so worried about the money, but I just want to play ball.”
“And you get to, plus the life that goes with it. Money, cars, women throwing themselves at you.”
He kind of chuckled and I don’t know why I disliked that sound so much all of a sudden. “You would not believe how many times I have been set up by well-meaning parents with daughters.”
I couldn’t help but think about my own father trying to set him up with Jessa. They were not compatible at all, but I knew that a lot of it had to do with his future career and how well he would take care of his future wife. I kind of grinned back at him, acknowledging my own parent’s shamelessness. “So how do you like her?”
“Like who?” He genuinely seemed confused for a moment and I really liked that for some reason.
“My sister Jessa.”
“She is nice and all, but not really my type.”
By the way he was looking at me, I had a feeling that I was more his type. I smiled back at his evaluation and leaned back in the swing. My sister didn’t get to have all of the fun after all. Curt was more than I had thought him to be. Dumb jock wasn’t a stereo type for no reason, but he did not fit in that category. I always thought that guys like him loved the attention, but he seemed worried about what that attention meant in the way of how people really were and what their intentions would be. That was something that I never had to really think about. Men wanted me for my looks and that’s about it.
“I like my women a little more free-thinking and less worried about what I can do for them. I have a feeling your sister would try to get me married off and her knocked up on the first date.”
I had to giggle. It was actually exactly what she would try to do. I could see the way her eyes glinted when he had talked about his contract. All she could see was money when she looked at Curt. “She just might and you would no doubt fall for it hook, line and sinker. Jessa has a way with the fellas. I have always been jealous of her for that.”
“Maybe I would have fallen for it, if I didn’t have my eye on someone else. You have absolutely nothing to be jealous about Lana.”
When he leaned in, I panicked and sat up, nearly knocking into him as I got up. I was still a little unsteady on my feet, the alcohol making my senses less than they should have been. He stood up suddenly with me to help steady me with a hard grip around my waist. I pushed his hands away from my hips, the feel too familiar between us and me not able to handle the way he made me feel. “Thanks but I got it.”
He let me go and for a moment I wished that I hadn’t said anything and I had allowed the moment to happen. He had wanted to kiss me and as much as I wanted him to, there was something
holding me back. A man like Curt was no good for me. My mother had always told me that if there was a man that made it hard to think, run. I was always supposed to be looking for the man that made me feel safe. I didn’t feel very safe in that moment or around him. Curt had the ability to leave me practically catatonic, so that couldn’t be good.
I took another step towards the door, half-expecting him to try and stop me but he didn’t. Instead he let me go and I was left to wonder why. He was interested, that much was clear, though he must not have wanted me too much if he was so quick to give up.
“What are you doing out here Lana?”
My dad was standing in the doorway and I closed my mouth. “Just enjoying the night. You told me to get lost.”
His eyes narrowed and Steve looked back at the quarterback that seemed to be doing the same thing. I had a feeling that Curt had seen him before me. Maybe he did want me, but couldn’t say such a thing in front of my father. This gave me new hope, but I still couldn’t have him. Even though I couldn’t, I still wanted him to want me.
I bade the two of them a good night and went back into my parent’s house while the coach and player talked. My sister Jessa was telling my mom how much she liked Curt and I just kind of smiled when she said something to me about it. She was so sure that no one could turn her down. “Good luck with that sis. I am going to go lay down for a bit.”
She looked at me strange, but didn’t say much of anything else. I would be happy when she found another boyfriend to go off with. She liked them rich or moving around. There was no middle ground with Jessa, her last boyfriend being some kind of nomad.
I tried to ignore the look that Curt had given me or the one from father when he had seen us out on the porch. I was supposed to go to a party later, but the vodka on the porch was kicking in and I decided I was better off staying in. It didn’t matter if I went then. None of the men would live up to Curt, so there was no point. I was always so focused on what I couldn’t have that I spent the next hour thinking about that very thing before sleep finally took over.
Chapter 3
Lana
Going back to school was a bummer in some ways, the weekend never long enough. But it was good to get out from underneath my older sister’s watchful gaze. She was always in a mood and if nothing else, at least there was peace when I got back to the dorms. My roommate was out when I got back, so there was nothing to do but enjoy the few moments of quiet after the chaotic weekend.
I didn’t see Curt again after leaving him on the porch. There was some talk when I was going in the house, but he never came back to court Jessa while I was there and she seemed genuinely surprised that she didn’t get what she wanted. I left wondering what would happen between them, but it wasn’t for me to know. He wasn’t for me to be around and the best thing I could do was try to forget about him.
Getting back into the school routine, I found myself thinking less and less about the football star Curt. Exams were coming up and there was always something to do and keep me occupied. I did hear that Jessa had run off with a new beau, but the thought of it being Curt never crossed my mind. I liked the idea that he had turned her down, even though it did nothing for me. It was nice to know that she couldn’t have him.
It was almost a month until I seen dad again. Between the two of us, we just didn’t have time. While mom would come up and see me on campus, dad was a little trickier to pin down and I had to resort to tracking him down at work again. I would have been lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I wanted to see Curt, but I was too late and practice was already over.
He was on his way out when I came into his office and with both of us in there it was cramped and I was thankful that he wanted to get a bite to eat. I don’t know how he worked in there, but he was content with his job.
“So how is school going?”
“Good I guess. I am just ready for the break. It’s only a couple of weeks away.”
“Where are you going to go?”
I didn’t know, but I wasn’t going to go down to Myrtle Beach again. I did that for my senior year in high school with an older friend and after a week had to call my parents and beg for bus money home. I wasn’t going to let it happen like that again, but it was hard not to see the smug look on his face.
“Well I think that is a good decision Lana.”
I walked a little faster to keep up with his long strides. “I was thinking of coming home. I don’t have much of a stipend left anyways and I was thinking I might pick up a couple of shifts at Maryanne’s greenhouse in town. She always has a big rush when the spring plants come in.”
“I know that your mother would like to have one of you around. Ever since your sister left, she has been moping and I just don’t have the strength to keep up with her.”
I laughed a little. Mom liked to talk and dad was the quiet stoic one of the two. It had always worked out because the three girls helped buffer for him. Now that we were all growing up and moving out, poor dad was going to have to find another way to silence his wife. “Fine dad, but you owe me.”
“I will help you with your short fall, just please come home for break.”
I will. There was nowhere else I could go on little to nothing for cash, so it was the best of both worlds. I had this silly need to ask about Curt, but I didn’t want dad to know that I was still thinking about him. We had only met once and though it was enough for me to think about him nonstop, I didn’t think that I could explain how I felt to dad. He wouldn’t get it, I know it.
“Anything else exciting going on since I have been gone?”
“Our boys went to the championship. You remember Curt?”
I nodded my head slowly as if I just barely did.
“Well he has been playing better than ever. It was a good way for him to go out like that. He tried really hard to make a good impression and he did. Now that he is graduating, it feels almost like one of you are graduating.”
“You have always wanted a son.”
“Yes and if you three would marry, I would have one. But it wasn’t like that. He lost his dad a couple years back when he was playing his freshmen year. Curt has had it rough and I think both of us looked at each other as if we were more. I always saw him as a son.”
“I know. I didn’t realize he had lost his own father. That must suck because he didn’t get to see him achieve everything he wanted.”
“That’s what he said.”
“Then you have to be there for him.”
“Do you think I should go to the graduation?”
I shook my head that he should. “He looks up to you, it was obvious. There is nothing wrong with going to support one of the students. That’s why you got into coaching in the first place right? To make a difference.”
“You’re right. Your mother says that I am just over thinking it too much and I should just relax.”
“Well…”
“I know, but easier said than done. I think you are right though. I don’t know why I am thinking about this so much. Of course I should go and see my guys graduate.”
He seemed more relaxed when we got to the restaurant. I hadn’t seen him so on edge before and I wondered why. I wanted to ask more questions, say something clever, but I couldn’t think of any way to ask what I wanted to without getting him suspicious as to why I am asking it in the first place.
“So what else is going on with you dad? I haven’t seen you in over a month and mom doesn’t tell me anything.”
“No I guess she is too excited to be planning your sister’s wedding.”
“Which one?”
“Jessa of course.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t expecting that. “I thought she took off with some singer?”
“She did, but apparently she found the love of her life when she was on the road with him.”
“Why do I get a feeling that it wasn’t the singer that she fell in love with?”
He smiled and shrugged. We both knew Jessa and though it was hard to imagin
e what she was going to do from day to day, it was clear that she was up to her old tricks again. “Yeah I guess she fell in love with a roadie that helped take the equipment from place to place. The marriage just came up out of nowhere and your mother thinks that there is a reason for the rush.”
I couldn’t help smiling back. It sounded about right and the fact that she didn’t care was funny to me. It also meant that maybe there would be less pressure now for me. With Jessa pregnant and about to be married, that gave me some breathing room.
“So she is happy about it?”
“Of course. She has wanted a grandchild for a long time now. As soon as Jessa went off to college, she started to plan her grandchildren.”
We sat down at a corner booth and ordered drinks. He kept giving me this look that I wasn’t all too comfortable with. Dad had something to say and he wasn’t sure how he was going to say it. I waited for him to say something, but the drinks and food had come before he said anything of real consequence.
“So about Curt…”
My ears perked up. He was bringing up the very person I wanted to talk about but couldn’t ask about. I looked over at him and then back down like I was not that interested. “Yeah, what about him?”
“I think he has a bit of a crush on you Lana.”
He just stopped and I was left holding my breath. For one it was the last thing that I would think that he would talk about and for two, I couldn’t believe my ears. Surely I had heard it wrong.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on Lana. I don’t know what you guys talked about on the porch that one evening, but I could tell there was something there.”
I felt my cheeks growing red. “Dad, I can’t talk to you about this.” I was becoming mortified to be honest and I wanted him to stop talking immediately. I had never talked to him about boys and now that I was an adult, the reality of it was even worse than the fiction I had created in my head.
“I am not trying to talk to you about it, just to say that if you are going to be in town, you should go say hi. I gave him your cell number. He has honestly driven me crazy asking about you.”
ROMANCE: MC BIKER ROMANCE: CARSON (MC Biker Romance)(Bad Boy Motorcycle Club Romance) (Contemporary Military Romantic Suspense Thriller) Page 5
