by Apryl Baker
“You’re not like him, baby. You defended yourself using what you learned from your brother, your dad, and anyone else who taught you to fight. You saved yourself today. You weren’t a victim. You were a fighter, a survivor. Self-defense doesn’t turn you into your dad.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so, Krasivaya.” He kissed her softly on the temple, careful of the bandage covering the wound. “I learned something today too.”
“What’s that?” She yawned.
“That I love you.”
“I know you love me, D.”
“No, sweetheart, I mean I’m in love with you and probably have been since high school.” She went still in his arms, and he continued. “I didn’t realize it until I saw you lying there hurt, and there was nothing I wouldn’t have done to make you whole again. I had a come-to-Jesus moment, as you call it. He and I talked while the doctors checked you out, and I promised to do right by you. I’m going to marry you, Rebecca Joyce Rhodes.”
“You might have had a come-to-Jesus moment, but that doesn’t mean I have. You can’t marry me.”
“I beg to differ. I’m going to marry you.”
“Dimitri, you only just realized you had feelings for me. It’s too soon to talk about long term. We need to get to know each other, to…”
“I call bullshit.” He leaned down and lightly kissed her. “We do know each other better than most people who get married do. Nikoli only knew Lily a few months before he proposed. Same with Kade. My dad knew in a week Mama was the woman for him. You and I have known each other for years. I know your quirks, and you know mine.”
“It’s too soon.” She shook her head, the stubborn, mulish look creeping into her expression.
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, D. You know I love you. You ran when you realized it, remember?”
“I know I screwed up, but when don’t I screw things up? I’m not asking you to marry me tomorrow, just before the year is out. Is that enough time for you to wrap your head around this?”
“You make it sound like I don’t have a choice.”
“You don’t.” He nipped her ear. “I told you I like control, and in this, I’m not giving you a choice. I love you, you love me, and we are going to have our happily ever after, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming into it.”
She laughed. “Bossy man.”
“Yes, but I am your man.”
“And if I don’t want you?”
“I think I can convince you otherwise.” He gave her a devilish grin.
“But not tonight.” She smiled shyly up at him. “I don’t think I have it in me to resist. Besides, you promised no sex for two weeks, remember?”
Fuck. She was back to that shit? He was about to argue when she turned, and he caught the deep bruising around her neck. He kicked himself and his dick. She was in pain and didn’t need him trying to seduce her or get her to agree to marry him with sexual warfare.
“Tell you what. Why don’t we get some sleep and continue this conversation when we get back to LA?”
“Sounds like a plan.” She snuggled into him, and he lay there while she fell asleep, thanking God again tonight for the biggest blessing he’d ever been given.
Chapter Nineteen
She slept most of the train ride from Charleston to LA, and for that, Dimitri was grateful. She hadn’t wanted to take the pain pills the hospital had prescribed for her, but the very nasty blow she’d taken to her cheek and eye all but vibrated with pain. Not to mention the stab wound in her leg. She needed the medicine. And the sleep they caused. Her body healed better when she slept. Even the doctor told her that, so Dimitri was having none of her protests.
He’d also tipped the kitchen car well to bring them their meals. His woman wasn’t able to handle the crowded dining car. She was a little embarrassed of how she looked, but she needn’t have been. Those wounds were badges of honor. She’d held her own against crazy and walked away the winner.
Dimitri wished he could settle her fears about inheriting her father’s love of brutality as easily as he could calm her panic. That was, unfortunately, something she’d have to come to terms with herself. He didn’t believe Becca was anything like the man who’d raised her. Or didn’t. From what she’d told him, Dallas Rhodes only paid her any attention when he needed food or his wounds patched up.
Eventually, he hoped she’d realize the difference between a bruiser and survivor. He’d do everything in his power to help her, but most of that was going to be a battle in her own head.
He checked his email and set up his ads for his book release. It was the last book he’d written before his spinal cord injury. Not a single word had been written since. Hell, he didn’t even think he’d done much by way of revisions. Even Becca told him it could be better. He only hoped people would forgive him for one less than stellar release. Part of him wanted to pull it back and apologize, but he knew nothing else would be forthcoming from him. His depression had silenced his words.
“Hey.”
Her sleepy voice interrupted his musings.
“Evening, sleepyhead.”
“What time is it?”
“Around nine p.m. We should be arriving soon. You hungry, Krasivaya?”
“No more train food.” She tried to laugh but winced instead. “We should call Uber or a taxi to have them waiting.”
“Already taken care of. Mason’s meeting us at the station.”
“The flirty one from the phone.”
“The fucker better not flirt with you,” he said darkly.
She laughed, and pain scrunched up her face. “Please don’t make me laugh.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Did you call the others beautiful too?”
Ah, she’d looked up what Krasivaya meant. He knew she’d get around to it eventually.
“I’ve told women they were beautiful, but I never called them that. I reserved that term of endearment only for you.”
“You’d never called me that before, and I wasn’t sure if it was something you used when you were trying to seduce one of your weekly flavors.”
“I never called any of them anything except their names and sometimes not even that. I’m ashamed to say I forgot some of their names, especially the one-night stands.”
He hated the censure in her eyes, but he couldn’t change his past. All he could do was concentrate on their future. And getting her to agree to marry him. Why she was being stubborn about this, he didn’t understand.
They loved each other.
They enjoyed being around each other.
They could have long conversations about silly nonsense or some deep subject.
They were meant to be.
So why the fuck wouldn’t she say yes?
The conductor’s voice announcing their arrival interrupted his silent struggle. Best to get their things together. He’d already packed their luggage while she slept, so there really wasn’t that much to do. He shooed her into the bathroom so she could brush her teeth and take care of anything else. The girl hated fuzzy teeth.
They were the last ones off the train, but it didn’t mean the station was empty. It was crowded as hell, and he glanced at her, worried. Her hand was wrapped tightly around his, and he felt the tension in her body.
“It’s okay, baby. I got you.”
She nodded and looked down. He could all but hear her counting in her head. She told him it helped her to focus on something other than the panic.
“Motherfucker, it’s about damn time you got here. I was getting ready to go get pizza to wait on your ass.”
His baby brother, Mason, stood lounging against the wall by the exit. He was the spitting image of Nikoli. The two of them could pass for twins. Mason had a laughter in him Nik didn’t, though. The kid was always smiling and goofing around. It set him apart from all of them.
“Mason.” He let his brother take the rolling luggage from him. “This is Becca. Krasivaya, this is my brother.”
/> “The cutie pie from the phone.”
“I like her already. She knows which brother got all the looks.” Mason laughed and bowed. “At your service, milady.”
“Really?” Dimitri quirked a brow.
“Have you seen all this?” Mason gestured at himself. “I have to beat the women off.”
Becca laughed, suffering the pain. He was probably right. He was as beautiful as the rest of the men.
“You look like dog meat.”
They all jumped at the sound of the voice—well, everyone but Mason. Conner Kincaid stood just to the left of them.
“Well, if you had a crazy ex-girlfriend try to smash your face into a mirror, you wouldn’t look so hot either,” Becca quipped.
Conner shook his head, a smile cracking his face. She hadn’t seen him since high school, but the change in him was dramatic. He was older, his face harder. She saw the darkness lurking in his eyes, but she saw something none of the rest of them did. She saw the pain. She knew what that pain was about and why he was the way he was now.
Disentangling herself from Dimitri, she limped over and pulled him to her in a hug so tight, she knew she had to be cutting off his lungs.
Conner stood there, unmoving, and she just hugged him harder. He hated that he’d confessed everything to her in a drunken moment, hated that she knew his pain. It was why she’d told Dimitri to leave him alone. Conner would come through this, but he would do it in his own time and when he found someone who could see past the brutal exterior to the weeping wound below.
Finally, his arms came up and wrapped around her. He crushed her to him. “You know I’m the one who usually does the smashing, Sunshine. All you had to do was call.”
He’d picked up on Nikoli’s nickname for her. She didn’t mind. She loved the Kincaid boys. They could call her what they wanted.
“Conner, if you don’t get your hands off my fucking woman, I will hurt you.”
Conner laughed, the sound so dark and full of rage, she winced. He’d probably welcome a fight, and poor Dimitri would come out of it looking worse than she did.
“I do believe I’m the one who hugged him.” She leaned into him and whispered, “You good?”
His nod was barely there, but she saw it. She stepped back and let Dimitri wrap himself around her again.
“Dude, don’t be hating on Conner.” Mason struck a pose. “Not his fault she was so blinded by all this that she got confused and hugged the wrong brother.”
“You are not right, brat.” Conner shook his head and slapped the kid on the back. Mason stumbled, not having the same strength of an ex-Marine.
“Nope, I’m just charming as sin and gorgeous as fuck.” Mason winked at her, and they walked outside into the cool night air of the city.
The stench of smog hit, and her nose curled. Sure, Chicago had its fair share of pollution, but nothing like this.
“You get used to the smell,” Conner assured her.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” Dimitri pulled her closer, and she felt the tension vibrating through him. He didn’t know she knew Conner as well as she did. None of them knew that, though.
“I had a meeting about a job. Figured I’d hang with you and Mason for a couple days until he told me what happened with you and Sunshine.”
“A job?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe I’d get out of the cold for a while, but the little fucker told me he was transferring to NYU next year, and that means most of our family will be on the east coast.”
“See, I knew he missed us.” Mason beamed at him.
“No, fucker, I just need to keep you out of jail. Don’t think I don’t know about all that illegal shit you been doing.”
“Who, me?”
Both Dimitri and Conner glared at him.
Mason shrugged, not at all worried.
“You finally leaving Chicago?” Dimitri asked.
“No. Chicago’s always going to be home for me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t visit the rest of you fuckers.”
“Do you guys ever go more than three sentences without using the word ‘fuck’?”
“No,” all three answered in unison.
They were incorrigible.
“Mason, throw their shit in that deathtrap of yours, and then we’ll swing by and get Mexican. Dimitri and his woman need some time to themselves before they’re exposed to your shenanigans.”
Said death trap was some old model pickup that looked ready to fall apart.
“Is that thing safe to drive?”
“Mostly.” Mason shrugged. “I’ve only had to duct tape it a couple of times.”
Becca looked doubtful but knew if there was a problem, she’d most likely be able to fix it.
She got in the truck gratefully and waited on Dimitri to say goodbye to his brothers. They’d be at his place soon enough, though, so she wasn’t sure a goodbye was warranted.
Now that she was here in LA, she was nervous. This was where she and Dimitri were supposed to explore their budding relationship.
Not that he considered it budding. It was a done deal for him, and he expected her to say yes to a marriage proposal.
God, she wanted to say yes so badly, but she held herself back.
That old fear was still there. What if he couldn’t handle her anxiety or he got bored with her? She didn’t want to end up broken and crying. This way, she could see if there was a future without any pressure.
Well, the constant repetition of “will you marry me” was pressure, but she could deal with that. She wouldn’t do something that could potentially devastate her for the rest of her life, and if she said yes prematurely and Dimitri decided later it had been a mistake, she’d never recover.
It was basic self-preservation.
Dimitri slid into the driver’s seat and tried to start the truck. The engine turned over with a whine, but it didn’t start.
“Give her some gas!” Mason yelled.
“Fucker,” Dimitri muttered but did as he was told. The old girl purred to life with a racket not meant for human ears. Becca would look over the truck and make sure it was safe before she let Mason drive it again. It was the least she could do since he’d volunteered to pick them up and then gave up his vehicle with no arguments.
“Is Mason always that much of a goofball?”
“Always.” Dimitri sighed and pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward the freeway. “So, Conner.”
“He’s your brother.”
“Becca.” The warning was right there for her to hear.
“What?”
“You want to explain that back there?”
“No.”
“This relationship isn’t going to work if we’re not honest with each other, and that…” His lips pursed. “That felt like the two of you were fuck buddies.”
“Dimitri!”
“Don’t Dimitri me. If the two of you hooked up, I deserve to know. You live in the same damn city.”
She was a little awed at the absolute possession and jealousy in his voice. She’d never heard him sound like that about any of his exes.
“Becca!” he snapped when she didn’t answer.
“Your brother and I have never hooked up. Yes, we’re friends. Yes, I know him quite well. But no. I’ve never had a single sexual fantasy about him.”
“Then what—”
“Remember I told you I didn’t always stay in my apartment?”
He nodded, unsure of where she was going with this. He’d been ready to tear his own brother limb from limb thinking the two of them had fucked.
“I was out grocery shopping and ran into him right after he got back from his last tour. He wasn’t in good shape. I took him someplace quiet, a little shop I knew that did carry out only, but because I knew the owner, she sometimes let me come in and eat in the back. She knew about my anxiety. We got dead dog drunk, and he told me what happened to him, why he didn’t finish his tour.”
“My God,” Dimitri whispered, shocked to his core
. “What was it?”
“That’s not my story to tell, Dimitri. I would no more break his confidence than I would yours. He needs time and patience and for someone to love him like I love you. When he finds that, then he’ll truly start to heal. Until then, though, he’s doing all he can just to get through each day. Leave him be and let him do this in his own way. And don’t ask me for details. I meant what I said. It’s not my story to tell.”
He heard the heartbreak in her voice. Whatever his brother had gone through, it broke him, because it had broken Becca just a little too. It was there for him to see in her eyes. She was haunted by what she knew.
“Does he…does he call you? Talk to you?”
“Sometimes. He knows I’m going to let him talk and that I understand the pain he’s been through. Only someone who’s suffered can understand the depth of suffering he’s going through. His soul is darker than it was, and that’s not going to change, Dimitri. All we can do is try to help him find a little more light to guide his way back to us. He’ll never be the Conner you all knew, but hopefully you’ll get a version of him back.”
“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He felt like such an ass. While everything in him screamed he demand the truth from her, he refrained. She was right. It wasn’t her story to tell, and until Conner was ready to confide in them, he’d just have to deal. He was glad his brother had at least leaned on one person, even if that person was Dimitri’s woman.
She smiled softly. “You’re allowed to be jealous, just not when it comes to family. I’d never do that to you, D.”
He reached over and took her hand, holding it up so he could kiss her palm. “I love you.”
“You’re still not getting sex.”
“You’re seriously going to make me have blue balls for days, aren’t you?”
She nodded, her eyes twinkling.
He laughed and continued to hold her hand the rest of the way to his beach condo. He couldn’t wait to show her the ocean. And for her to meet his chocolate lab. Mason had been coming by to feed the guy and take him for his daily walks.
