I stopped my horrible introspection long enough to look at the man who had called in every favor he had with the Metropolitan Police to save me. "Why do you have such a hard time admitting to yourself what Christian is? You've known him for over a year, haven't you?"
"Yes, but… some things are difficult. It's just not natural, just like you and your…" He made the odd gesture again.
I smiled and stuck a hand out of the blanket he'd wrapped around me in an attempt to stop the shaking. I patted him on his arm. "I know, sometimes it's all so hard to take in. One minute you think you have a handle on everything; the next people are telling you to believe in ghosts and vampires and werewolves."
"Werewolves?" he asked, his eyes getting a bit panicky. "You know werewolves?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at him. "No, I don't. I don't think they exist, not really."
His strange yellow eyes lost their worried look.
"Then again, I didn't think vampires existed, either, but I have more than ample proof how wrong I was there," I mused, fingering the faint mark just below my ear.
Raphael was back to looking worried again. "What… uh… what exactly were those people in the office?"
"Psychics. Very strong ones. They'd formed a triumvirate, a sort of focus for their combined psychic power. It's almost impossible to overcome a triumvirate's power; there's something about the pyramid that becomes stronger just by being. This particular one was more powerful than anything I've ever felt." I rubbed at a bruise on my forehead. "It almost felt as if…"
"As if what?" Raphael asked, cursing under his breath as a car shot out in front of him.
I didn't want to put into words the feeling I'd had that one of the three had been tapping into a dark source of power. "It doesn't matter."
He glanced at me, and I had a brief feeling that those yellow eyes of his could see straight through all my guards and protection. "Ah."
"How did you get to me so quickly?"
His mouth twisted in a wry grin. "Joy can be very persuasive when she wants to be."
"But how did she know? Oh, Christian must have called her."
His wry grin turned into a grimace. "Yes, without bothering to use a phone."
"Oh." I let that thought sink in. If Christian could speak to Joy as easily as he did me… I sighed and rubbed my forehead again. It was too much to figure out until I had some time to myself. I needed to put some distance between what had happened before I was able to figure out all of the ramifications. "So what'll happen to them? Guarda and Eduardo and Phillippa? They weren't arrested, were they?"
Raphael shook his head and maneuvered us through a roundabout. "No grounds for arrest. Some friends of mine in the yard just had them in for a little interview regarding their source of funding. Seems Mrs. White has been suspected of doing a little money laundering."
"Money laundering?"
He smiled, and suddenly I had a glimpse at what it was that had attracted Joy to him. "It was the only thing I could think of to get in there quickly."
I grinned back at him. "Well, I truly am grateful for your help."
He murmured something about it being his pleasure as he peered out through the rain-streaked window. The rest of the ride was spent in silence.
"I wish there were some way to repay you for your help," I told him a short while later as he delivered me to the door of his building. "I would have been in serious trouble if you hadn't come when you did."
He smiled. "Don't mention it. Your taking Christian's attention away from Joy is repayment enough."
The answering smile faded from my face. I straightened up and waved as he drove off. I couldn't tell him that I wouldn't run the risk of diverting Christian's attention any longer.
"Oh, man, what a horrible muddle," I said, rubbing the ache in my forehead. I sighed again and pulled the blanket around me as I waited for Joy to buzz me into the building. I felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to me, both externally and mentally. I was abused, mentally raped, drained and heartsore. I was such a mess that I burst into tears the second Joy opened the door to me, and didn't stop crying for twenty minutes, ending up in a fetal ball on her couch, a box of tissues at hand, blankets heaped over me, two worried women hovering just beyond my view as I cried out the pain of knowing Christian was lost to me forever.
"That baby has addled your brains. She doesn't need coffee; she needs a stiff belt."
"Alcohol never solved anything, Roxy. Coffee and chocolate, however, can work miracles."
"Don't go all teetotaler on me, missy; you're just saying that because you can't drink anything stronger than a Shirley Temple now."
I sniffled one last time into a tissue and looked up. Roxy and Joy stood next to the couch, Joy with a steaming cup in one hand, a bowl of something that look chocolatey in the other. Roxy held a bottle of whiskey. My decision was quickly made.
I took the cup from Joy, poured a sizable slosh into it from Roxy's bottle, and scooped up a handful of chocolate-covered almonds. "Thanks. This'll work just fine."
"Oh, good, you're done with the water show," Roxy said as she pulled a chair over to where I sat. "Now you can tell us everything. And don't leave out any of the good parts, the way Joy does. First off, did you and Christian do the nasty? I bet Joy you wouldn't be able to hold out against the scrumptious Mr. Dante for very long."
"Oh, for God's sake." Joy whomped her friend on the arm. "Will you stop prying into things that aren't any of your business? Just ignore her, Allie. She was raised by wolves and has no manners."
Roxy just grinned at me. "So? Did you?"
"Roxy!"
I swallowed the mouthful of almonds and washed them back with spiked coffee. "I will tell you what I told my ghostly friends: the subject of physical relations between Christian and me is off-limits."
"Atta girl," Joy praised me as she lowered herself into an armchair.
"Well, you can at least tell us about why Christian did the mind-meld thing with Joy and had her getting Raphael worked into a frenzy. What was all that about?"
It said a lot about my wounded, exhausted state that I didn't even consider shielding them from the truth, as I might under normal circumstances. People not directly involved in paranormal research usually don't take hearing about things like powerful psychics and ghosts and such without a lot of distress. I've found it's easier to pick and choose a few things to tell the general public, and keep the unvarnished truth for the experts. Unfortunately, I was too tired and sore to think rationally, so I spilled all of it to Joy and Roxy.
"Wow," Roxy breathed when I was finished. "You have five ghosts now? Bring them here, would you?"
"Another time, maybe." I smiled wearily.
"That's right, another time. You just sit there and rest, Allie." Joy glanced at the window. "The sun should go down in about an hour, Christian will come and get you then."
I was shaking my head even before she finished speaking. "No."
"No, what?"
"No, Christian will not come and get me. I don't want to go with him. I was hoping I could stay here with you for the night, until I can find another hotel."
Joy glanced quickly at Roxy. "Allie, I know Christian is very concerned about you; he asked me just a few minutes ago how you were feeling, and—"
I sat up straight and pushed the blankets off me. "He what?"
"He was concerned; he said you weren't talking to him and he wanted to be sure you hadn't been hurt—"
"That… that…"
"Man," Roxy supplied helpfully.
"Man!" I yelled, snatching another tissue and blowing my nose. "How dare he question another woman about me? How dare he pry when it's clear I don't welcome his concern! How dare he—"
"—be so much in love with you that he chafes at the fact that he couldn't be the one to save you?" Joy finished.
"I can save myself," I snarled at her, immediately feeling ashamed because it's not a nice thing to snarl at a pregnant woman. "I didn't mean to attack y
ou, Joy; I'm just angry at Christian. And he doesn't love me. I'm not his bloody Beloved; you are."
"You know," Roxy said thoughtfully as she popped a chocolate almond into her mouth. "That sounds awfully jealous to me. I think maybe you're not being quite honest with yourself or Joy. Or Christian, for that matter."
I glared at Roxy.
"Rox, you're not helping matters."
"Well, I'm trying to!" she argued, and took a swig off the bottle of whiskey. "Look, Allie, this thing between Joy and Christian just isn't important. So they can do the mind-meld, big deal. You only have to get Joy and Raphael together for a couple of minutes before they're going at it like rabbits. Joy couldn't give a hoot about Christian, not in the way you do. She punched him in the nose once, almost broke it. Not to mention kneeing him in the happy sacs."
I stared at Joy, who nodded. "Christian can be a little overbearing sometimes. So can Raphael, but it looks much better on him."
"You hit him? You hit Christian?"
"And she stomped on his foot. He limped for a week afterward. It's 'cause she weighs as much as a draft horse."
We both ignored Roxy.
"It's not something I'm proud of," Joy said at last, not looking in the least bit contrite.
I nodded, sucking on an almond. I wondered if I would ever get so mad that I could punch Christian in the nose.
"I fervently pray you do not. I do not wish to experience that again."
I stared at the man leaning elegantly in the doorway, my eyes opening wider as I looked beyond him to the window.
It was still daylight out.
"Christian, what on earth are you doing here? I told you Allie was all right!" Joy gave a little grunt, hoisted herself out of the chair, and bustled around the windows, closing the drapes and shutting out the weak daylight.
I looked back at Christian as Roxy turned on the lamps scattered around the room. "You shouldn't be able to do that, should you?"
He shrugged and peeled off his coat and hat. "No, but I did. I believe I owe the gain in tolerance to daylight to you."
I shook my head. "I'm not your Beloved, Christian. Joy is, only she has other priorities."
He ignored my protest and kissed Joy's hand, kissed Roxy on the cheek when she threw herself into his arms, and then sat next to me with the casual possession of longtime lovers. I wanted to push him away, but it felt too good when he tugged me against his side. I closed my eyes for a second and let myself melt into him.
Why did life always have to be so difficult?
If it weren't, you wouldn't appreciate what you have, Christian answered.
Go away. I'm too tired to cope with you.
"Poor Allie, she's been through so much. Christian, she's asked to stay here for tonight. I'm sure you won't mind, and won't pressure her into changing her mind."
"Allegra knows I would never force her to do anything she does not want to do." I rallied enough strength to snort at that. He ignored me. "If she wishes to spend the night here, she shall."
I looked up at him in surprise. I had expected him to at least make a token objection.
"I don't imagine Raphael will be too pleased to have us both move in with you, but if Allegra insists on remaining here, then here is where we shall stay."
I opened my mouth to object, then snapped it shut again. I don't think you were invited.
Christian looked at Joy. "That is, assuming that your invitation extends to me, of course."
Joy smiled at him, her eyes full of laughter. "But of course! If you would be more comfortable with Allie at hand, then you're more than welcome to join us."
"If anyone suggests having a pajama party, I'm leaving," Roxy said, standing and pulling her friend toward the door. "Come on, Mama. They can't talk if you're sitting there mothering them."
Joy made an exasperated face as Roxy gently shoved her through the door. "I was not mothering them; I was being supportive and concerned. It's what friends do. I'd be happy to give you lessons."
The door closed on Roxy's retort, which I suddenly quite desperately wanted to hear. Anything was better than being smashed up against Christian's side, feeling his warmth sink into me, wanting to bury my face into his neck so I could inhale that wonderfully spicy scent, wishing I could forget the world and just spend the rest of my life in his arms.
That sounds like an excellent plan to me.
Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves, I snapped.
Mmm. I don't believe having you think of me as the sexiest man on earth is hearing ill of myself.
"I haven't thought that all day, and get out of my mind."
He started kissing my neck.
"And you can just stop doing that, too." He nuzzled the sweet spot below my ear and I shivered with pleasure. "It's… it's… it's not going to change my mind. I'm nothing but danger to you, Christian. Oh, Lord, you really shouldn't, not… Oh, yeah, right there." All of my aches and pains were forgotten as he worked around the back of my neck, delivering hot little kisses on my nape, making all sorts of things inside me go up in spontaneous combustion. "I… um… I won't bring you anything but more torment. You have to understand why this thing between us isn't going to work out."
He stopped kissing my neck long enough to turn me to face him. "I know you feel responsible for me, malý váleèník, but in truth you are not. If you leave me now, there will be nothing left of me for Guarda and Eduardo to torment."
"Now you're exaggerating," I told him, allowing myself just one, swift little barely there kiss to show him that I appreciated the fact that he thought he couldn't live without me.
The kiss turned into a smoldering inferno of passion the second my lips met his. I fought giving in to the need that rose within me in answer to his longing, then told myself I'd been through a lot, and deserved a little reward. I threw everything I had into my kiss, running my hands over his chest and up to where his hair was once again confined.
I like it loose, I chastised him as I pulled it free from the leather thong.
Then you will have to see to it that it remains that way, he answered.
I heard the door open behind me.
"They're kissing," Roxy called down the hallway.
"No, really kissing. Tongues and everything. What? Oh, all right. You sure have become a prude lately…"
The door closed.
Christian's tongue danced a fiery dance around mine, melting my flesh and bones until all that was left was pure emotion. Tears streaked my cheeks as I kissed him harder, deeper, wanting to lose myself in him.
I would not have that, he told me as his thumb brushed away my tears. I could not love a woman who was not strong enough to be whole on her own.
His lips parted from mine, turning to kiss the wet tracks of tears.
You said I complete you; are you not whole?
Not without you, he answered.
But I am complete without you?
He kissed one eye, then the other. "You are whole, perfectly finished as you are. You are a little warrior. Without me, you would still exist. You would laugh, you would learn to love, you would have a satisfying life. You would seek and achieve success because you cannot do otherwise."
I stroked the hair back from his face and looked into his eyes. "You've lived for nine hundred years, Christian. I'm sure you've had relationships with women in the past, and I'm sure they've ended. You survived that, you will survive me."
His eyes, warm, so full of something that I wanted to believe was love, but wouldn't allow myself to acknowledge, studied my face. He opened his mind to me so that the pain and torment that were within him were also within me. He spoke, and it felt as if I were speaking. His thoughts were mine; mine were his. We were one; we were joined together in way so profound it scared the life out of me. If you leave me, I will have no future. I am not as strong as you are, Beloved. I cannot face the thought of a future without you completing me. If you turn your back on me, I will end my existence rather than live knowing I have failed y
ou.
"You haven't failed me," I whispered, hot tears welling up in my eyes at the knowledge that what he said was true. His agony of almost a thousand years of despair was as real as anything I'd ever felt, and I knew with my heart and soul that what he was telling me was the truth. He would destroy himself rather than face a bleak future that held nothing but the misery of the past.
I don't know why I thought I had a choice in this. I didn't; I couldn't. Either I left Christian and he would kill himself, or I stayed with him and Guarda and Eduardo would do the job for him.
In the dream Eduardo had told me I must make a choice. Silly me, I thought it was a choice between my own survival and Christian's—not a choice of how he would die.
Why do you believe we will be so easily overcome?
I sniffed. He handed me a handkerchief. I wouldn't allow myself the intimacy of speaking into his mind. "I don't mean any slur, Christian, but if Guarda and Eduardo could overcome your friend, what's to stop them from overcoming you?"
"Sebastian has not found his Beloved."
"So?"
"Is it not true that two are stronger than one?"
I thought about that. "Oh. I guess so. You're saying that a Dark One who's found his Beloved—"
"One who has Joined with his Beloved."
"—is more powerful than a solo Dark One, but that means squat in this case. I'm not your Beloved."
"You are. I was incorrect earlier when I said you weren't. I know now that you are the woman I have waited for, the one who holds my future in her hands, the Beloved who can redeem my soul."
"I'm not! I'm not a soul-saving sort of person; I'm a Summoner. That's all I am."
"There is nothing that says you cannot be both."
"But—"
He took my hand and kissed my palm. Little streaks of fire shot up my arm. "You have already started to heal my soul; you have ever since I met you. That is why I am able to tolerate the last hours of the sun. The hunger within me has diminished, changed so that I crave only you. That, too, would not happen unless you were the woman intended to make me whole again."
"You crave me?" I looked at him suspiciously. "You crave us together, you mean? Sex?"
"That is part of the hunger, yes."
Sex and the Single Vampire do-2 Page 18
