Dedication
To my fellow author, occasional mentor, and all-around good friend, Kate Douglas. Thank you for your advice, your support, and reminding me that this business is utterly crazy, but so am I. You rock.
Chapter One
Lorren had heard the phrase “the agony of ecstasy”, but he’d never actually seen the expression in action until now.
Errion’s shaggy blond head went back, the column of his tanned throat working as sweat rolled down his face. With one hand gripped on the back of the chair and the other tangled in the maid’s hair, his lips parted on a scream as he climaxed in a body-shaking wave. The maid’s bobbing head eagerly met each jerk of his hips. Hairless chest heaving as he gulped air, Errion refused to let go of her until he’d pumped his last.
After giving him a moment to recover, Lorren asked, “On a scale of one to ten, one being a disappointment and ten being the best—”
“Are you mad?” Errion gasped. “That was beyond a ten!” Lifting the maid up by her chin, Errion considered her metallic face. He shook his head as he fingered her remarkable mouth. “What the hell is her throat made out of?”
“Proprietary material.” Lorren met Errion’s inquisitive green eyes with a lift of his brows. “Do you want to try the rest of her?” Lorren would very much enjoy watching his friend utilize every part of the maid’s enhanced anatomy. It had been a long time since they’d found a human female to share. Luckily, the maid didn’t care if she was with one or a hundred men. Too, the study was theirs for the afternoon as the rest of the D’Buren clan was out at some charity function.
“She might be a machine, but I’m certainly not.” Errion collapsed in a boneless heap, his spent cock limp against his hairy thigh. “Whatever you’re charging for that upgrade, it isn’t enough.”
Lorren hadn’t yet decided on a price point, but his marketing research showed there would be a solid demand for such an enhancement. Robotic maids had been his family’s business for as long as their history went back; sexual upgrades were exclusively Lorren’s idea. One he and his father fought over often, loudly, and occasionally publicly, much to his mother’s chagrin. Rather than mentioning the upgrades he had planned for the robotic butlers, Lorren had wisely shut his mouth as he continued to tinker in his laboratory.
“So how much would you pay?” Lorren flicked his dark hair out of his eyes as he settled across from his best friend. After that stunning performance, he was painfully hard, but he was determined to finish field testing his prototypes before he dealt with his demanding body.
Lazily lifting his head, Errion smirked. “For a suck that goes on for”—he examined the wall clock—“half a spin? Raylor’s testicles, Lorren, I’d say at least half a vel.”
“Half?” Lorren scrawled a note on his portable office, then set the flat aside.
“Too much?” Errion lifted the metal maid’s skirt.
“I think so, since the unit alone already costs almost a vel.”
“Yeah, but, seriously, her mouth is unlike anything I’ve ever had my dick in. I mean it’s better than what any human woman could do.” Errion ordered the maid to hold her skirt up, which she dutifully did, her golden face blank. “Although I’ve had a couple of men who could certainly take me that deep.” After flashing Lorren a conspiratorial wink, he began to gently finger the maid. “How did you manage to make her get wet?”
“Proprietary.”
Rolling his eyes, Errion sighed. “You say that about everything. Do you honestly think I’ve hidden a recording device on me somewhere?” Spreading his hands wide, Errion gave Lorren a good long look at his muscular body. “The only place to put it would be up my ass.”
Their eyes met, held.
Lowering his voice as he dropped his gaze to Lorren’s cock, Errion murmured, “Maybe you should check.” Lifting his gaze, penetrating his intensity right into Lorren’s already overactive libido, he added, “Just to be sure.”
Lorren considered doing just that but relented. “We’re supposed to be testing my prototypes.”
With a sigh, Errion nodded. His gaze drifted around the overly decorated room crammed with furniture, rugs and art. Finally, his attention landed on the butler standing at attention against the wall. “Then do him and let me watch.”
With a series of commands, Lorren had the silver butler down on all fours. He flipped up the back of his black jacket, revealing a discreet flap on his trousers. Two flicks of his fingers and the butler’s bottom was exposed.
“Eh…” Errion considered the metallic ass with the oddly placed flesh-colored unit. “That doesn’t look very…appealing.”
It certainly didn’t.
“Frankly, that’s the ugliest ass I’ve ever seen.” Errion peered closer. “And that’s saying something, since I went to Gertster.” Errion had terrified Lorren when he was younger with horror stories about his time at the all-male school. As they matured, so did the tales, until they’d finally gotten old enough to act some of them out. Since that day, they were never far from a satisfying release, which made the women who chased them unable to use sex as a weapon, as so many of the modern ladies did.
“It’s a prototype,” Lorren defended. “I haven’t worked out all the aesthetics.” However, Lorren’s erection was fading in direct proportion to the time he spent considering the butler’s hideous backside.
“Now this”—Errion stood and slapped his right butt cheek—“is a perfect ass.” Bending over slightly to better display his butt, he added, “Just a bit of golden hair, but not too much, and look at these muscles!” By tensing one leg, then the other, Errion made his behind dance and exposed the strength in his entire body. Natural strength, because as far as Lorren knew, Errion didn’t bother with sports or any type of activity, besides the bedroom variety, that would account for his perfectly proportioned body. Where Lorren sweated and strained to attain his muscular form, Errion got his naturally. Annoying, in that they looked very much alike for extremely different effort levels, but still, the man was his friend, and he did have a spectacular body. The more Lorren considered him, the harder he became.
“Let’s see what we can do to improve the look of your butler here.” Getting down on all fours, Errion draped himself on top of the butler, covering his ugly ass with his much more pleasing one. “Doesn’t that look better?”
“Much.” Thankfully, the butler was superbly made and could withstand the weight of ten men. “Perhaps I should submit images of your butt to the machinist.” Lorren slapped his cheeks hard enough to make his flesh quiver.
Squealing like a girl, Errion wheedled, “Spank me, Master D’Buren, I’ve been ever so bad!”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Lorren asked with his sternest voice.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be down on my knees begging for it, now would I?”
Timing his slaps to his words, Lorren said, “How that would feed your massive ego—hundreds of thousands of men pounding an image of your ass on a nightly basis.”
Glancing over his shoulder, Errion grinned. “How does that do me any good? Imaginary butt banging doesn’t help me at all, not when mine is here right now, all lonely and in need, and—”
Lorren cut him off by slipping one finger between his far too perfect cheeks. “Lonely? In need?” Lorren teased his finger around his wonderfully tight flesh. “How long has it been since you got any?”
“You mean besides the suck-fest a moment ago?” Errion angled up as he considered. “Does my own hand count?”
“There is no way you’ve been reduced to your own hand. I see how the ladies, not to mention the gentlemen, look at you. You could have your pick.” Without moving
too far away, Lorren grabbed his satchel and dumped the contents on the floor. Picking through a myriad of items, he found a tube of slicker, another invention he’d been meaning to field test. Smearing a generous portion on his cock and some between Errion’s cheeks for good measure, he drew close.
“I’m sick of the surgically enhanced faces of the women, and if one more simpering dandy—” Errion stopped in mid-rant. “What is that stuff? Raylor’s farcical butt hole! It’s all warm and tingly.” Errion wriggled below him, his movements growing ever more desperate as the slicker grew hot. “If you don’t get inside me soon, I’m going to scream like a girl for real this time.”
Lorren felt the same pressing need. The slicker made his cock feel too big for his skin and dangerously close to climax. “Hold still! I can hardly get my cock in if you’re bouncing all over the place.”
Errion gripped the butler’s shoulders, his hands digging against the unyielding metal until his fingertips went white. “Do it already!”
Lorren placed one hand low on Errion’s back, trying to hold him in place as he fumbled with his now overly sensitive cock. Just as he pressed the head within, the butler began to make an odd growling noise.
“What is he—”
The butler let out a piercing wail that grew in volume as his mechanical head craned upward.
Errion lifted off the butler’s back, which forced Lorren’s cock deep into his ass. Before Lorren could growl out his pleasure, Errion continued to move backward, but Lorren was unable to dislodge himself from Errion’s bottom. Somehow, the slicker had gotten sticky, wedging his cock inside Errion.
“Stop moving, or you’ll break my dick!” Lorren was trying to keep a cool head, but that went right out the window when his new slicker and his modified butler went horribly wrong.
On and on the cry went as the butler shook from side to side as if he were flinging off water. Smoke curled up from his ears in sluggish wisps as sparks flew from his modified ass.
Together they lurched sideways, out of the line of fire.
“Aren’t you glad you didn’t stick your dick in there?” Errion asked wryly.
The proprietary material that fashioned his pleasure hole burst into flames. Spewing expletives, Errion jerked back, crashing into Lorren, knocking him on his back as he crushed the air right out of his lungs. Before Lorren could catch his breath or lift up, the door opened.
Shyla’s innocent face popped into view. “What are you two up—” She never finished the thought as her big blue eyes took in the screaming, flame-farting butler, the maid daintily holding up her skirt, and Errion naked and hard on top of an also naked Lorren. He wasn’t sure, but he thought from that angle she could see that his cock was lodged inside Errion’s backside. A look of utter disgust washed down Shyla’s features as she slammed the door.
Both men burst into gales of laughter. They didn’t stop until the butler’s fire fizzled and died. The entire room smelled of burnt electronics, plastic and sex.
“Well, my friend,” Errion began, “perhaps this will be the final indignity that disabuses Shyla of the notion that you will ever marry her.”
“True.” Lorren wiped tears from his eyes as he continued to chuckle. “I can hardly walk down the aisle with you dangling off the tip of my dick.”
Errion wriggled. “You’re still hard after all that?”
“I guess so.” Lorren sighed, disappointed that his creation had failed so spectacularly. “At least the maid works.”
Together they glanced up at her, still standing there, holding up her skirt. Glass eyes looked oddly human but hid a camera and several sensors. When the smoking pleasure unit fell out of the butler, the maid whirled into action. Dropping her skirt, she pulled a dustpan from her thigh and dutifully swept up the mess. Rolling over to the nearest trash bin, she dumped it out, replaced the pan in her leg, then returned to her spot and pulled her skirt back up.
“Now that’s my kind of woman.”
Again, they snickered.
“You know, this isn’t going to be so funny if I have to have my cock surgically removed from your ass.”
“That would be unpleasant.” Errion considered. “Tell me what it’s made out of, and we can find a way to dissolve the hold.” Errion whipped his head around suddenly. “And if you say proprietary, I swear I will shoot flames out of my ass.”
“Yeah? I’d like to see you try.”
Squeezing his eyes shut, Errion pushed, which tightened him around Lorren’s cock.
Slapping his ass, Lorren snarled, “Oh, yeah, keep trying.”
They dissolved into sporadic chuckles that faded away entirely when everything they tried failed.
“Am I hurting you?” Fun was fun, but he didn’t want to injure his life-long friend.
“No.” Errion shimmied. “You’re really wedged in there. It’s annoying, but it won’t kill me.”
“I need a drink.”
Fumbling around on their knees, they managed to make their way to the wet bar on the far side of the room. Amid a dozen bottles of weak liquor, they found one bottle of Opvver double-distilled brandy. After wrenching it open, they both drank directly from the bottle.
After a few swallows, Lorren felt more relaxed but still hard.
“Try putting some alcohol on it and see if that works.”
It took a lot of careful maneuvering and half the bottle, but eventually, Lorren was free.
“Praise be to Raylor!” Errion swiped the bottle and took a big swig. “Now, let’s get cleaned up and see what we can do about that erection of yours.”
Lorren couldn’t believe that after all that, Errion would want anything to do with him ever again.
“Are you kidding?” Peering at him through strands of shaggy blond hair, Errion gave him that lopsided grin that told him they would never be less than perfect friends. “I love your inventions!” He considered the mess they’d made of what had been an orderly study. “I love your wild, creative mind.” He lifted the bottle in salute. “Without you, I would have long ago died of boredom.” After taking a deep pull, he passed the bottle over. “And I never would have ever laughed so much before, during, or after body-draining orgasms.” Clapping his hand to Lorren’s shoulder, he finished, “You, my friend, are the best friend a man could ever have.”
The door to the sturdy burst open with such force the knob imbedded into the wall. The true Master D’Buren’s thunderous face filled the upper part of the doorway. His blazing gaze swept over the damaged room, lingering on the kneeling butler, whose backside was now only a gaping hole, the maid daintily exposing herself, then finally landing on the two of them sitting cross-legged on the floor splitting a bottle of very expensive and extremely strong alcohol.
Anger turned his face so red Lorren thought for sure smoke would curl out his ears, just like the butler’s.
“You better go,” Lorren said.
Climbing gingerly to his feet, Errion retrieved his clothing from the chair he’d settled into for the maid’s oral exam. Without putting a stitch on, he sidled to the door and slipped past the elder D’Buren, who ignored him with studied disdain. There wasn’t much Lorren’s father could say or do to Errion, not when Errion’s father was a major shareholder in D’Buren Robotics. Once he was gone, Lorren’s father shook his head back and forth, his face a moue of disappointment.
“Get dressed.”
“No.” Lorren climbed to his feet, unashamed of his nudity or what he’d been doing. He wasn’t a child anymore but a man, and he would do as he pleased.
“I will have you removed from this house.”
“And Mother will drag me right back.” Lorren fished the defective pleasure hole out of the trash bin and slipped it into his satchel. He needed to examine the parts in detail to determine what had gone wrong.
After a series of nonsensical grunts, Lorren turned to his father. “What?”
“Will you please have her put her skirt down?”
His father couldn’t bear to even gl
ance in the direction of the maid.
“She’s not a real woman, Father.” Lorren walked up to her and thumped her forehead, creating a gonglike metallic tone. He had to stifle a laugh when he thought the same thing would happen if he thumped Shyla’s head.
With gritted teeth, his father deliberately kept his eyes off the maid until Lorren ordered her to lower her skirt.
“Happy?”
“You ungrateful—” His father cut himself off with a long-suffering sigh. “Shyla was utterly horrified. Congratulate yourself. You’ve scared her away for good this time. There’s no story that will explain away your perversions. Your mother is beside herself with shame.”
Lorren doubted that very much. His mother delighted in his inventions, even if she blushed mightily at their final use. Shyla was his father’s choice for a suitable bride, mainly because of the rich, untapped resources of her father’s lands. Lorren was certain that a lucrative contract awaited their nuptials. A lifetime of boredom awaited Lorren if he acquiesced. Shyla was sweet but stupid. Painfully stupid. Like clonked-in-the-head-repeatedly stupid. She was so dull she made a conversation with a painting of a person seem scintillating by comparison. Every time Lorren had been in her presence, his brain cells committed suicide in an effort to bring him down to her level. A few more visits and he’d be too unintelligent to care.
“What do you see in that indolent young man?” His father hesitated with an indrawn breath. “You’re not in love with him, are you?”
Lorren considered the question. Before Errion had come into his life, Lorren had often felt left out or bullied by the other boys his age. Errion had been his protector, his confidant, and subtly they’d moved on to pleasure. Honestly, Lorren hadn’t given the matter much thought. He loved Errion as a friend, and he loved the things they did together, so if that’s what made up romantic love, then perhaps he was in love with his best friend.
His father stood, arms crossed, waiting.
“What if I am?”
“You can hardly have children together.”
“We’ll have robot children,” Lorren said smartly. “Start them out as babies and then age them into bigger bodies every few years.”
Dark Empress: The Onic Empire, Book 5 Page 1
