“It started with small things like him calling every few hours. Then it turned into every half an hour. He would always ask where I was. I thought how sweet, he’s worried about me. Mind you I have never had a boyfriend before and had no idea what was the normal. Anyway. He started showing up to places I went. All the time. Even places I didn’t tell him I was going. Again, I didn’t look too closely I thought it was just coincidence. How wrong I was.” Another bitter laugh escape. I feel an Ella’s hand on top of mine. She gives me slight squeeze.
“It went on to him getting a little jealous when I talk to guys. Again, I thought it was cute when it should have been an eye opener. But I was stupid and naive.” Ella cut me off “Don’t call yourself that.
“You’re not stupid you hear me!” she demanded. I nod my head feeling a little better. But only a little.
“I let myself stay blind to it. Before I knew it, he was grabbing my arm and stuff. Yelling at me telling me I wanted other men.” A sob crawls out of my mouth before I could stop it. “The first time he hit me I was shocked. So, shocked I didn’t react. He, of course, apologized over and over. I thought to myself, it was my fault. If I didn’t talk to James, it wouldn’t have happened. He promised it would never happen again, and I believed him. I believed him, Ella.” I whisper.
I know what you’re thinking you’re a kick boxer how the hell did you let this happen, but in reality, we are all little girls inside and it’s easy to get lost in the noise. It’s easy to be swallowed by something like this even the mighty can fall. I never understood that saying until this happened. I lived my life up until that moment untouchable in my opinion and I was taken down by a boy some stupid boy who even now strikes fear in me. The funny thing about abuse is sometimes the mental is more damning than the physical. At first it was just slight mental abuse, then the physical.
Don’t look down on me if you haven’t experienced it you would never understand. You see me as a sniveling baby one minute and bad ass the next. To be completely honest, you don’t want to believe this is happening to you so you bury your head in the sand and wish it all away. So, whenever he begged and said he was sorry you were right there saying it’s ok because facing the reality of it is too much.
Tears stream down my face as she hugs me. “Then it happened again. This time for lying about where I was. I didn’t want him to know I was out with my friends having lunch. I just wanted some friend time you know. Well, I guess friends is a strong word, more like sparring partners. That was the final straw. I broke it off with him right then and there.” I sob some more.
“But it wasn’t the end. I thought it was but not to him. He kept showing up everywhere. Telling me I was his, and I kept telling him I wasn’t his. I would tell him that we were through. I never thought he would attack me on my way home one night from the gym. When he grabbed me, and started dragging me into the woods, I would have fought back, but he had a knife pressed to my throat. He grabbed my hair and threw me to the ground. I hit my head on a rock, and before I could react, he was on me.” Pausing I take a deep breath.
I was so very tired at that point and no matter how much training you have, no matter how much you say it will never happen to me because I would do this or that. If it does happen all those thoughts, all that training vanishes from your mind. They are just gone and nothing is there to help you at that moment. Nothing.
“He had the knife once again pressed against my throat before I had any time to react not that I could have at that point. I lay there and watched helplessly as he ripped my shirt down the middle and started to rub my breast. I felt him harden as he rubbed against me moaning. I felt so sick. He lifted my skirt and ripped my underwear off. I thought, this is it I’m going to lose my virginity to this vile person.”
I pause and take a deep collective breath as more tears fell. “I guess he didn’t think about having to undo his pants and shit once he removed the knife I was on him. I punched him in the face stunning him. He had to lean back to take his pants off. So, after I punched him. I raised my leg and kicked him in the chest. Not wasting any time, I jumped up and ran. I ran all the way home” breathing hard I look at Ella, who had tears in her eyes.
It was like it all came together in that moment the realization he was going to do this to me I was going to become a statistic. One of many who have had this horrible life altering never come back from thing happen to them. I was going to be one of them and others would whisper about how they would have fought back and it wouldn’t ever happen to them. Closing my eyes briefly before I continued.
“I didn’t tell anyone. Not my mom. Not the cops. Well, I did tell my sister, but she turned her back on me. The first thing I did was take a shower, the water so hot it was burning my skin. I scrubbed myself raw. I felt so dirty, Ella. I used cover-up to conceal my bruises and then a few months later we moved here. I avoided him by finding ways out of school that is the real reason I burned down the gym I wanted away from him. I stayed locked up when I was home. I didn’t see him after that.”
“Oh Tessa.” Ella sobs and then her arms are around me. I let her hold me until I fell asleep. Sometimes I feared sleep, he would come to me there and there was nowhere to go there was no escape.
Chapter 15
Trevor
I finally found her. That stupid bitch thought she could leave me? That I would let her go? Well, she has another thing coming. She’s mine and I’m going to take back what’s mine. No one is going to stop me.
I was going to have that virgin pussy. I was going to own her body. She thought she could get away from me. She’s wrong. There was no place she could go that I wouldn’t hunt her ass. I had all the money I needed thanks to old money and an unlimited trust fund.
She wasn’t getting away again, and she wasn’t getting away unscathed she needed to be punished. I needed to punish her. I was a little too soft on her before. She needs to be trained. I will break her and she will finally see that she belongs to me.
Chapter 16
Tessa
After sharing everything with Ella. After opening up and splitting myself open in the process. I felt like I was reliving it again, even after all this time I could still feel his hands on my body. Going home was almost a physical need. Time alone to shutter and fight. I need some gym time. A moment to shed this layer of filth that has coated me. Walking through the door, I rush to my room to change and head down to my gym and just attack my heavy bag. I don’t even put tape or gloves on. All I can think about it, is Trevor. Everything he put me through. His hands on my body.
Why didn’t I fight harder? I take down huge men all the fucking time and yet when he grabbed me I froze. I let him drag me away in shock.
I beat the bag for what feels like hours. My hands are bloody. My knuckles are split open and I’m covered in sweat.
Walking upstairs in absolute exhaustion. The doorbell was going off. Sighing, I walk over and open the door to see the last person I thought I would see on my doorstep.
That fuck head Axel. “What do you want?” I sigh “There was some guy at the gym asking about you today” he states. I panic. Fuck. Fear almost gulps me down.
Axel’s watching me closely. I could feel my face set in a blank expression. Something I have mastered over the last year or so. “Your point is?” I snap.
His eyes are locked onto my face. I feel a little more panic creep in did he notice? Did he see it before I masked the fear and panic? “I just thought you should know.” he says. Looking me up and down slowly with a smile.
His eye quickly snaps back to my hands. “What the fuck did you do?” he growls at me.
“None of your fucking business” I growl back “Now go the fuck home.” I say sharply as I close my door. He shoves a foot into it. “What the fuck Axel” I snap.
Instead of answering me, he takes my hand into his examines it. Before I can take it back and tell him to get the fuck out, he’s pushing into my house like he owns the place. “Where’s your first aid?” he asks ge
ntly.
For a moment, I thought he may be concerned. But this is Axel. That thought is enough for me to tug my hand back. But the jackass won’t let go. He just grabs my wrist in an iron like grip. Giving a hard tug and not getting even a millimeter of success, I give up. Heaving a deep sigh, I really don’t have the energy to fight right now. I let him have his way.
Chapter 17
Axel
Gently cleaning her knuckles. I process all the emotions I watched skitter over her face before she pulled it into an expressionless mask. She was quick I’ll give her that, but I was faster I had seen it all the hate, anger and fear as it fluttered across it. What is she afraid of? Was it that dick who came looking for her at the gym today?
I didn’t even meet him. Jesse called after he left. Said that he didn’t get a name. And the guy didn’t give it. But he was really interested in Tessa.
“What's going on Tessa?” I asked gently.
“Nothing,” she replies quickly. Looking at me with big innocent eyes. Fuck, she’s using those eyes like the weapon they were.
“It’s not nothing, Tessa. What the fuck is going on?” I demand in a hard voice.
“Like I said Axel, nothing. Okay, nothing. So, drop it! Thanks for your help and all. But I’m going to go shower, then go to bed. I'm wiped out. Good night.” With that said she turned and walked away, leaving me to find my own way out.
Just like that she completely removed herself from the equation taking all the answers with her.
I know it’s not nothing. I want to know what the fuck is going on. This is my fucking town. Whoever that fuck head is. I’m going to find his ass and make him squeal all his secrets before putting a bullet between his eyes.
Turning, I walk out the door. Making sure to lock the knob on my way out. But not before looking back in the direction she disappeared a few moments ago, this isn’t over I will know everything. Tessa didn’t know it yet, but she was mine.
Chapter 18
Tessa
Fuckety, Fuck what the hell am I going to do? After the note and the pictures. I thought I could forget it. That it would just stop. He would just go away.
I can’t deny it. Not when he shows up at the gym looking for me. The crazy bastard found me. Trevor my worst nightmare. The one thing I was glad I left behind.
Leaving Axel behind. I turn tail like the coward I am and all but run upstairs. Shower I need to shower and hide under the covers like the little bitch I feel like right now.
You would too if you had Trevor on your ass. So, don’t fucking judge me. I believe that man has connections. Scary connections. After scrubbing until I was too sensitive to scrub anymore, I climb out of the shower and quickly dry off. Pulling on my fuzzy hedgehog pajama bottoms and a matching cotton tank top.
My bed was calling my name. I wanted to go over there and hide under the covers until it all went away, but at the same time I feared the sleep I know would claim me and the horrors that awaited me there.
My dreams were filled with nightmares. Nightmares of that night and what Trevor could do next. When morning finally came, I was beyond terrified.
I was rushing to school even though I'm not late. I will never admit this. I promise you that. The only reason I was rushing was because I wanted nothing more than to be in the same building as Axel.
I knew without a doubt that wherever he was I was safe. I know we’re not friends, not even acquaintances. Those you are civil with. They are the type you could be in the same room with and not think about ways to kill them.
Example. I was over at Ella’s house and we were sitting in the living room. Ella, Jesse, and Jace, who was an acquaintance peacefully devouring pizza and watching A Good Day to Die Hard. When Axel comes strolling in like he owned the place.
Well, okay, he owned it. You know what forget I said that. Anyway, he comes strolling in. Then out of all the places he can sit. When I say all the places. I mean like a whole other couch. He walks over to me picks up my feet. Then plops his ass down. Putting my feet in his lap.
That’s not the worst part. Oh no, he started to rub my legs. Glaring at him I try to remove my feet, but the prick wouldn’t let my legs go.
That’s when my brain decided he needed to die. No, not me. If I was ever asked. It was all my brain. It's a crafty fucker. Shit is getting off track. So, Mr. brain started to come up with things it would like to do to Axel.
Like stick toothpicks in his eyes. I know, crazy right. I think Mr. brain lost his marbles. But that’s not the worst thing. No this by far is the worst.
Mr. brain wants to get him horny over and over again. But never let him get really happy. Bringing him to the point of pain. Oh, the blue balls.
Okay, I’ll admit just this once that Mr. brain has a good thing going with that last one. Could you imagine Axel walking funny do to blue balls? The man whore himself.
Well, you get the picture. It seems almost like it could be fun. But at the same time that would mean touching him and other stuff. Well, I can’t. It's never going to happen.
I don’t think I could touch him. Okay, well, maybe just once. It’s like ice water being thrown on me. The very thought that I want to touch Axel. Even once. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Realizing I was at the school and parked, but still sitting in my car like a dumbass. I try to keep calm as I slowly climbed out of the car.
When in reality. I’m freaking out. I wanted to be with Axel. Making my way inside I scan the crowd looking for him. Not wanting to be obvious. I start in the direction of my locker.
All the while begging for a sighting of him. Needing that assurance that I’m safe. Even though we have a hate, hate relationship. I know deep down that he will keep me safe.
Feeling the panic start up when I don’t see him. Just then he comes walking around the corner. My heart skips. Our eyes meet and his face morphs into one of concern.
Snapping out of it. I realize the panic must have been showing on my face. I quickly smooth it out my features forcing them into an expressionless mask.
When in reality, I feel a whole lot of relief. He’s here. Axels here. Trevor won’t get anywhere near me. He won’t let him. Feelings overwhelm me as Axel approach before he can reach me. I turn and head to class. School was a daze I had no perception of time and what was happening, all I wanted to do was get out of here yet not because Axel was here. And where ever he was I needed to be.
That’s exactly why after school I went to Ella’s and spent the night. In fact, the rest of my week was the same. Go to school and then hiding out at Ella’s.
Mom started making comments about moving. I really didn’t want to go. I love Ella. Mom pointed out I really didn’t need to go this time. My being eighteen and all. It was something I never really thought about her leaving and me staying.
“Why did we move around so much mom?” I asked her one night.
She looks sad. “Work honey.” I give her the look. Like I’m going to believe that’s all of it. She heaves a sigh.
“After your dad died. I became restless. I love my job; it has the perks of travel. Whenever a new assignment in a different place comes up, I can’t help volunteering.” she hangs her head a little when she finishes.
“It’s okay mom. I hated moving so much. But I understand. I really do.” I say honestly. I love my mom and all. But I think I’m going to sit this move out. I lean over and give her a hug.
“Love you mom.” I whisper. “Love you too, honey.” She hugs me close.
Chapter 19
Axel
I watched Tessa all week. I could tell that something was wrong. Very fucking Wrong. She was basically hiding out in my house. What the fuck she was hiding from is beyond me.
At school, she seeks me out with her eyes. I try to keep her from noticing that I know what she’s doing. You can see a slight look of panic in her eyes when she doesn’t see me right away.
I'm going out of my mind. Damn near climbing the walls trying to figure it out. What the fu
ck is going on?
After the night, I questioned her and she ran. I’ve tried to figure it out. With absolutely no luck. It didn’t help I was trying to not be obvious.
Jace and Brandon have been digging through her background. Trying to find any piece of information that might shed some light. So, we’re not going in blind. I want to help her. I just don’t know how.
But so far, nothing. Not a fucking thing. Her and her mom have bounced around a lot. Her sister lives back in Chicago. Her dad is dead. But other than that, absolutely nothing. So, whatever has her bugging out. Is something not known to others.
I'm so fucking glad they canceled that fucking talent show. I’ll do anything for my twin sister. Fuck, I basically raised her. But this, I don’t think I could have done this.
Chapter 20
Tessa
I watched as Axel walks into the lunch room. He scans the tables. Looking for, well, my guess is me. I think he’s getting suspicious. I noticed how he started watching me intently. How Jace, Brandon and Jesse also watch me intently. To be truthful it both frightens me and relaxes me.
The feeling of absolute terror slowly dissipates when he’s near. Knowing that the others are also near helped out immensely. Taking a deep breath, I release it slowly. I turn to Ella “You haven’t told him, have you?” I whisper to her, hoping no one else will hear it.
Axel: The Son's Of The Apocalypse MC Page 5
