Chapter 27
Axel
One minute I'm yelling out all my jealousy and rage to Tessa. The next she’s gone. Shock replaces everything.
I start to chase her. Calling out her name repeatedly. But it's like she doesn’t hear anything. Then, before I know it, I hear a door slam upstairs.
A hand is latched on my arm. Knowing it was Ella I turn and meet her eyes. Letting the helplessness show in my eyes.
“Axel order us some dinner, please. I know she’s hungry and I'll go up and talk to her, okay?” she whispers. If I wasn’t standing right next to her. I wouldn’t have heard her.
I give a slight nod “But I want answers and I want them after she eats you got me?!” she just nods and heads for the stairs.
“You need to listen to her okay. When it’s time you listen. Don't shout and shit. Keep yourself under control. Then after she leaves you can go ape shit okay?” she demands.
I give another nod and watch her run up the stairs. My confusion growing what the hell is going on?
Chapter 28
Tessa
I truly believe that everyone has a moment in their life where they feel utterly and truly alone. When you’re sitting there trying to make sense. Trying to decide if you can open your mouth and say the words that will change the course of your life forever. I truly believe that everyone has a moment in their life where they feel utterly and truly alone.
A moment when you say it out loud and it becomes a reality. You know deep down it was always a reality you just wished and prayed it wasn’t.
So, you keep moving. Keep living. Keep breathing. Your head diving into the sand. Like the fox that hunts for his prey by diving head first into the snow.
There’s that moment that kills you just a little. Takes a little more of yourself. This is my moment. A moment I wish I didn’t have to face.
At this very moment, I sit here with my head in my hands, hoping to prolong the inevitable. I know just beyond the door. That very door made of wood. That keeps everything at bay. Even if just for a moment is Axel and the real world.
Waiting for me. Waiting to hear everything. To hear it all. I really don’t know if I can do this.
I know I need to. My mind knows I need to. But my body. My heart. My every soul doesn’t think I need to do this. It realizes this is a moment that could very well break us.
There are things I didn’t share with Ella about him. I can’t even bring myself to utter his name in my own head. I think this may well be my end. My own undoing.
Try as I might I can't keep the images. The memories from trying to surface. I know, I know the moment I open that door and walk out it.
My world will be tipped on its axis and everything I’ve tried to push down. Everything I try to forget will come back. I will have no place to hide. No place to run.
I've been running from this. From me for so long.
Taking a deep breath, I don’t give myself any more time to contemplate. All I’ve lost. All I’m going to lose in just a few moments. With just a few words I feel the tears forming.
I hold strong. I push them back. And force my feet to move. Forcing my hand to grab the cold metal door knob and turn it and pull it open. Another deep breath and I find myself moving, moving towards him. My own version of hell.
“Tessa” I hear Ella whisper my name. So gently. So quietly. Almost like she knows that this moment could kill me.
My tongue is thick and heavy. My feet shuffle across the floor on their own accord. I don’t look up. I can’t look at them.
I know if I do, I’ll run and I can’t do that. I need this. So, I just nod my head and sit down. I make sure to sit away from them.
I see their feet. I know where they’re at. I also know that Ella would have made sure that it was only the three of us in this room.
No one speaks. I know they’re waiting for me. Time to grab it by the balls and start from the beginning. The first life altering moment that lead me here. Lead me to my own undoing. Looking back, I wish I never met him more now than ever before.
“His name was Trevor...” I hear Axel hiss out a breath. He says nothing. So, I continue, “I met him at a party. We went to the same school. I was new with only one friend at the time. I thought Trevor would be a friend as well. I didn’t see him any other way at first.” I give a small bitter laugh as our first meeting came to mind.
“I was just dancing when he bumped into me. Tripping over his own feet. Now looking back, I realize it was a lie from the beginning. Him bumping into me was planned. Anyway, he bumped into me almost sending me to the floor. I just saved my beer. Thanking God, it was a bottled beer. I refused the cupped shit. I wasn’t stupid I knew it could be drugged. I made sure to pop the top myself.”
Deep breath. “I now realize how stupid I really was though. He was funny and sweet. He constantly asked me out on dates. I had never been on one. I never had a boyfriend before or any of that shit.”
“All the jocks trying to get into my pants deterred me from that. But we became friends and I let myself believe he was a good guy. So, I said what the hell, why not. And finally gave in. We started dating. Everything seemed perfect.”
“He was sweet, attentive and loving. I had a hard time making friends. All the boys ever wanted from me was sex. And the girls hated me because of that.”
Sighing, I continue. “But this time I had made a few girlfriends. Nothing super special we were never close so I guess they were more acquaintance. They were also single. So, I didn’t think his behavior as odd. With nothing to compare it to. How could I? I never shared what was happening with them.”
“He started calling me more and more. Asking what I was doing. Who I was with. Then he started showing up at all the places I went to. It got to the point I started telling him I was home and then went out with the girls just to get a break.”
“This went on for a for a while. Until he showed up at my house when I wasn’t home. He called me. I didn’t want to answer the phone. I was having fun. So, I didn’t and that was my first mistake.”
“He waited for me to come home. He was so mad he grabbed my arm and started to shake me. Yelling in my face. I was so shocked I didn't stop him. When he finished, he said he was so sorry and hugged me.”
“He told me he would never do that again. He said he loved me. That he was so worried about me. So, he couldn’t help himself.”
“I believed him. The stupid, naive fool I was. It wasn’t the last time he did it though. It progressed to shove's. Then the jealousy got out of control and he was smacking me. He would yell at me because I wanted some other guy. Then he was sorry. He would say he loved me and he couldn’t help himself. All because he loved me so much.” I pause and give out a bitter laugh.
“The stupid girl I was thought it was okay. That he loved me. It was normal. But I knew deep down it wasn’t okay. That it wasn’t normal. The day things took a real turn for the worse was the day I was at the mall getting a gift for my mother. Some guy started talking to me. Asking me what he should get his girl for their one-year anniversary. I made a joke, and we laughed.”
“I didn’t see Trevor until it was too late. I felt his hand wrap around my arm. Then he dragged me out of the mall. I thought for sure he was going to dislocate my shoulder...”
I take a deep breath and raise my eyes to meet with Ella’s “I’m so sorry Ella. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything. It wasn’t the first time. It was just the worst. I feel my eyes well up with tears before dropping them back to the floor.
“He dragged me to his buddy’s house ranting about me wanting other guys right in front of his friend. He ripped my clothes off. I thought he was going to rape me right there. Instead, he beat me while his friend watched.”
“He pulled out a knife and said he was going to make sure I knew I was his. I was unable to stop him as he carved up my back. His friend finally helped me. He swears he was in shock. He said he sorry, and I believed him.”
“Trevor at
tacked him saying I wanted him and he wanted me. I have no idea where all my training went. Where the real me seemed to have disappeared too. Leaving behind this worthless hide. This worthless shell. That took her place. I was a pussy...”
“No Tessa.” Ella whispered.
“I was!” I say firmly “It didn’t stop there Ella you know this!” I fight for calm as I say this my emotions were running rampant.
“I was afraid to tell anyone, and I prayed for it every day. He made sure I did. The cuts weren’t very big. I hide them under my sports bra’s. There are about ten of them. One for every guy I came in contact with.”
“I learned quick to keep a distance between me and all guys. To not even make eye contact. Yet he still beat me. He only carved me up in certain moments to make sure I understood their importance.”
“And oh, how I did. He cut me deep. Real deep. He had to stitch me up himself so no one knew.” a bitter laugh escapes me.
“Then that night. The one that changed it all. The night he attacked me. I never thought he would attack me. At least not like this. I mean I was on my way home one night from a friend's house. When he grabbed me, and started dragging me into the woods.”
“I would have fought back. I really would have. I don’t know why after all this time I would have. This time felt different. He had a knife pressed to my throat. He grabbed my hair and threw me to the ground.”
“I hit the ground hard. Hitting my head on a rock. Before I could react, he was on me. The knife once again against my throat. I watched helplessly as he ripped my shirt down the middle and started to rub his hands on my breast.”
“I felt him harden as he rubbed against me. He was moaning. I felt so sick. He lifted my skirt and ripped my underwear off. I thought this was it. I’m going to lose my virginity to this vile person.”
I pause and take a deep breath as more tears fell “I guess he didn’t think about having to undo his pants. Once he removed the knife. I was on him. I punched him in the face stunning him. He had, had to lean back to take his pants off. So, I raised my leg and kicked him in the chest. Not wasting any time, I jumped up and ran. I ran all the way home.”
“The first thing I did was take a shower. I turned the water all the way up. As hot as I could, burning my skin as I scrubbed myself raw. I felt so dirty. So, violated. I didn’t see him after that. I still haven’t. But he’s been leaving notes, pictures and...”
I sob “He took my underwear. If that wasn’t enough for him. He used them... He used them... Too to jack off. He left the pictures of his cock with my used underwear. He’s here hunting me. Stalking me. Harassing me.” I sob again “He says I’m his!” I scream as I my hands cover my head.
“FUCK....LIKE FUCKING HELL YOU ARE!” Axel yells. I see his feet before his knees hit the floor in front of me. I feel his hand grab my chin, he gently forces me to face him.
I watch his eyes search my face, “You’re mine you understand me? Tessa you’re MINE and I protect what’s mine babe.” More sobs escape me at his words. I feel his arms go around me and he pulls me into his embrace, rocking me gently on his lap.
I feel my eyes getting heavy and before I’m completely out I hear him say “Watch her with your life because if anything happens to her while I’m gone it will be your life got me?”
“Yes boss.” I hear a response. Then Axel's voice “It’s okay, babe, I’ve got you. You just rest I’ll be back soon.” and then nothing.
Chapter 29
Axel
Rage has consumed me as I place, Tessa in my bed. Giving her one last look I turn and exit the room. Closing the door softly behind me. When all I really wanted to do is slam it.
Grabbing Brandon by the arm. “Get someone watching her. I want someone at this door. At the window, outside. No one, and I mean fucking no one but you, Ella and I are allowed in this room got it.” I demanded.
Brandon nods his head and pulls out his phone and starts barking orders into it. I charge down the stairs, grabbing my own phone. “Meet me at the club.” Is all I say before slamming the door to the house?
Climbing onto my bike I rev the engine and squeal my tires as I peel out of the driveway. I need everyone on this I want that bastard found, then I’m going to kill him slowly.
Looking up to see Jesse and Brandon walking into the room. I’ve been sitting here in the basement lost in my thoughts. The hell I picture Tessa going through while waiting for them to show up.
Standing up, I start to pace. “It’s Tessa...” I start, but Jesse cuts me off. “What? Is she okay?” I hear the panic in his voice.
Turning to him I grab him by the throat. “She’s mine do you understand?” I say through my teeth. He nods and I release him. “I only see her as a sister. The sister I never had. I swear Axel” Jesse says quietly.
“I know.” I reply “There’s someone after her.” Then I tell them everything. I watch their eyes darken in anger. “Let’s hunt boys and when we find our prey, we send him to meet his maker.” I say sounding calm. Nowhere near what I really feel.
Chapter 30
Tessa
Rolling over I shove my face into the pillow and inhale hmm. It smells so good. Just like Axel. My eyes pop open and I look around where the hell am I?
Getting up I make my way to the door. Slowly opening it, I pop my head out. And see a guy. I look closer. It’s one of Axel’s guys. I relax a little.
Then everything comes flooding back in. I told him. I told Axel everything. Closing the door, I walk back to his bed and try to process everything that’s happened. The one thing that stuck was him saying I was his.
My lips turn up into a smile. He wants me. Believe it or not I want him to.
I feel a sappy grin form on my face. I honestly feel like an infatuated school girl.
He said I was his. Like a broken record, it was set to repeat in my head. Little butterflies pop up in my belly.
Closing my eyes, I inhale his scent again. I was so lost in myself. I didn’t hear the door open. I felt the bed dip and my eyes flew open feeling a little bit of panic shoot through me.
When my eyes settled on a pair of amazing deep brown eyes. That were at that very moment devouring the sight of me!
I feel the blood rush to my face. As I blush fucking blush like a little girl, ugh!
“Sleep well beautiful?” he asks in his deep husky voice. I feel shivers of excitement run down my spine. “Mm hmm.” I hum out while closing my eyes trying to hide everything I feel behind my closed eyes. Like the excitement that his presence brings me.
I feel fingers slide over my eyebrow down the side of my face. Before his hand cups my chin. His hands felt so good. It took all my will power to hold in a moan. I squeeze my closed eyes tighter together.
The feel of his breath on my face was amazing “Open those eyes babe.” Axel whispers.
How could I deny him anything with those endearments? Slowly raising my lashes, I try to focus my eyes on him. His lips are almost touching mine. I flick my eyes to his and lock them there.
Sucking in a breath and that’s all the encouragement Axel needed. He swoops the rest of the way in and press his lips. Those firm, but so soft and gentle lips to mine.
When I didn’t pull back. He combed his fingers into my hair. Grabbing it into a fist, he holds me in place.
When he starts moving them against mine. The dam broke. I kissed him back with a fever that went higher when his tongue swept slowly across mine. Gasping giving him the opening he wanted our tongues slow and to sensually roll together both of us fighting for dominance.
Axel pulled back first. Pressing his forehead to mine. Both of us were breathing hard.
I was so lost in that kiss I didn’t realize we had moved. Axel had pinned me under him. My legs on either side of his hips. His hard cock pressed against my core. Our chest’s pressed together. He had one hand still wrapped in my hair and the other holding my hip.
“Babe...” Axel starts. But gets interrupted by a knock at the door. Le
tting out a big sigh, he pecks my lips and rolls off me. Quickly landing on his feet, he heads to the door. As he reached out for the door knob, he looks at me over his shoulder.
Giving me a sad smile before opening the door and stepping out. Making sure to close it quietly behind him.
With trembling hands, I touch my now shaking fingers to my lips. A smile flutters across them. I feel the tingles his kisses left behind on my now bruised lips. I let out a sigh of happiness before slumping back on the bed and falling back to sleep.
My dreams or should I say nightmares were about Axel and me. I was standing in front of a mirror my eyes filled with tears as I pressed my hand to my stomach. “Why did he do this to me? I thought... I thought he loved me.” I whisper to my reflection.
I feel the misery. The heart break. It was so strong. I feel like I’m living it this very moment. In real life. “What am I going to do?” It hurt so much. It felt like my heart was being ripped from my body.
“I was going to tell him I was then... Then I walked in on....” I felt myself scream in heartbreak in my dreams it felt so real I woke up screaming. The pain in my chest. So much heartache I thought I might die from it.
The door flew open and Axel came running in gun drawn looking around the room before settling in on me. I watch his face go from controlled coldness to panic as he ran over to me.
His hands cup both my cheeks. Slowly wiping them, I realized. I was crying, and he was wiping my tears away. “What happened babe?” he asked with such concern in his voice.
Shaking my head “Just a dream” I sob out. He starts making comforting sounds. “Shh, it’s okay babe I’m here.” he whispers in my ear. While rubbing my back gently. Burrowing my face into his chest. I let his comforting presence cover me like a blanket.
My body started to relax. I hear shuffling sounds. Lifting my head, I look at the door and notice a few of Axel’s guys slowly backing out of the room.
Axel: The Son's Of The Apocalypse MC Page 7
