by Dawn Desiree
Rain thought about school. She would be a senior this year, and she couldn’t just drop out. That would be ridiculous after making it through thirteen hellish years of school. Maybe it would be better if she just got her GED. It was just as good as a diploma, and that way she wouldn’t have to find somebody to enroll her in school.
Maybe she would move to New York City. She had heard a lot of hype about New York. Maybe she would venture to California and Las Vegas before she decided on a permanent spot. Shit, her options were worldwide. If she didn’t like any of those hoods, she could always go somewhere else. Rain was beginning to feel better. Things were actually starting to feel like they were looking up.
Rain lifted her head back to the sky. “Forgive me for shouting out like that. I was so overwhelmed.” Rain knew it was time to get out of there. She left behind the deafening silence, the empty house, and the brief memories of Sunshine, Cathy, and Brian.
SEVENTEEN
FIVE YEARS LATER
“Throw the ball to Mommy, baby!” Sunshine yelled to Little Diego. He threw the basketball to her with all his little-boy might and successfully landed the ball midway to his mother.
“Good boy!” Sunshine commended. She ran to get the ball from the short distance. “Ready! Set! Catch!” Sunshine yelled, and then she threw the ball back to Little Diego.
The small boy spread his arms open wide and caught the flying ball. The force from the ball soaring through the air was more powerful than the small boy could handle, and his whole body toppled over in the grass. Sunshine laughed at her young superstar as he struggled to get back up, never once letting go of the ball.
“I did it, Daddy! I did it!” Little Diego screamed excitedly.
At first Sunshine was confused, but then she turned to look behind her and was glad to see Diego standing there.
Sunshine smiled and gave her husband the biggest hug. She liked to show him big love whenever he entered a room. Little Diego ran up and joined in to make it one big family hug.
“I did it, Daddy!” he cheered.
“That’s Daddy’s big boy! I’m proud of you, son,” Diego praised.
Diego released his family, picked up the ball and yelled, “Now see if you can catch this one from me, ’cause you know your mommy throws like a girl!”
Sunshine laughed at the insult, and Diego winked his eye at her to confirm. Sunshine took that as her cue to just sit on down. She didn’t go far though. She walked to their back porch and sat in the lawn chair to watch her two favorite men play ball. She sat back and was pleased to be able to relax now that Diego was home. He would pick up with Little Diego where she had left off.
While Sunshine began to unwind from another busy day of motherhood, she allowed the cool fall breeze to accommodate her. She watched with interest as her pair of Diegos fooled around with the ball.
To Sunshine, the picture looked perfect from the outside, but on the inside, the portrait wasn’t original. As Sunshine continued to watch them play, she could feel another guilt trip coming on, because deep down inside, she knew it wasn’t right to keep such a deep, dark secret hidden from her husband. Diego would be torn apart if he knew that there was the slightest possibility that Little Diego was not a 100% full breed. He was proud, to say the least, to have his first-born be a son who carried his full name.
Sunshine didn’t know how to tell Diego that Little Diego may not be his son, especially after so much time. Five years ago, when she moved in with Diego, everything had progressed so fast. When she moved into his apartment, they instantly became the perfect couple. Diego lived up to every word that he preached. They did all the things that lovers do. Sunshine would accompany him to all his late-night concerts. She would even write some of the band’s material. They double-dated a few times with some of the other band members. They would go to see all the latest movies, plays, and shows that came to town, and even some out of town. Sunshine hadn’t planned on living with Diego that long, but love wouldn’t allow her to move on.
Two months into the relationship, Sunshine still hadn’t seen her period. When her pregnancy test came back positive, she realized then that the baby very well could be Terrance’s. Diego didn’t know anything about Terrance.
Sunshine had been very convincing when she told Diego that he was her first lover. Diego was honored by that, and he would be mortified at the thought of another man making love to his precious Sunshine.
However, every day, Sunshine was ashamed by how much Little Diego favored Terrance. The long, slick plaits that fell to his neck reminded her more of her first lover than ever. Sunshine couldn’t count how many times she thought about telling Diego the truth. She thought about it in the early morning while they ate breakfast, late at night during dinner, even while making passionate love, but it never felt like the right time. She knew that once the truth was told, Diego may want to divorce her and sell their beautiful three-level home that they had built together. Sunshine couldn’t let that happen. She would keep the truth concealed from him forever and endure a million guilt trips before she would lose the love of her life and mess up their happy home.
The phone rang and brought Sunshine out of her deep thought. She stood up to go answer the phone.
“Hello?” Sunshine answered cheerfully.
Click! The caller hung up instantly at the sound of her voice.
Sunshine was irritated by the phone call. She checked the caller ID, and as usual, it read CALLER UNKNOWN. Sunshine wondered who was constantly playing on their phone. The caller never said anything, and nothing could be heard in the background. At one point, Sunshine went as far as getting their number changed and unlisted, but the determined caller still found a way to get the new number.
Sunshine put her aggravation to the back of her mind for the time being and decided to get ready for her weekly bible study. Since Diego spent a majority of his time out of town, promoting his band and trying to get them higher exposure, church had become Sunshine’s best friend. She and Little Diego went every Sunday for the Lord’s message, every Tuesday for choir practice, and every Wednesday for bible study.
Sometimes Diego would attend if he had time. Tonight he wouldn’t be going because he had band practice. He had been out all day, passing out flyers for tomorrow night’s show. Sunshine missed the days when she was able to escort him to these events, but Little Diego couldn’t watch himself, and there were very few people who they trusted to watch him.
Sunshine walked upstairs and ran some warm water in the tub for her bath. While the water ran, she searched in her closet for a casual outfit to wear. Her selection was endless, and she even still had clothes with the tags attached. She pulled out a sky blue pantsuit similar to the one she had admired years ago that Ms. Waters had worn.
She smiled as she laid the outfit on the bed and thought about Ms. Waters. Once she had turned eighteen years old and had known that she was completely out of social service’s system, she had called Ms. Waters to let her know that she was doing fine.
Their conversation had lasted for over an hour while Sunshine brought Ms. Waters up to date on all her current events. She told Ms. Waters that she had heard about Cathy’s unfortunate death and was so messed up behind it that she just ran away.
Ms. Waters didn’t think anything of her partial lie; she took it in like the truth. She would call all the time to check in on Sunshine and Little Diego. Sometimes they would even ride to church together. When Sunshine had asked her if there was any word on Rain Concise, Ms. Waters said she hadn’t heard anything, but that she would check into it.
Sunshine thought about Rain all the time. She missed her spunky attitude, her sharp tongue, and her strong “I don’t give a fuck” nature. Although she had met a lot of new friends in her church, she didn’t connect with any of them like she had with Rain. Rain was real, and Sunshine had to admit that there weren’t too many official females left that she could put on her level.
Sunshine wanted so badly for Rain to see Little Diego so t
hey could compare notes. Surely by now, after all this time, Rain would have gotten over the fact that she slept with Terrance. Sometimes Sunshine thought about hiring a private investigator to find Rain, but she never did, afraid of what she might find.
She stepped into her warm bath and closed her eyes. This was her favorite part of each day. Usually she would light candles and spend some quality time with herself, but this evening she didn’t have any extra time, as she still had to make dinner and get Little Diego dressed and ready to go before they left for bible study.
Sunshine couldn’t wait to get to church and be around her church family. Church always made her feel whole, when nothing else did. Even Little Diego loved to go. He didn’t fall asleep like most children did. Sunshine thought he would grow up to be somebody’s preacher or something because he already seemed filled with the Holy Spirit.
While Sunshine got dressed, she could hear her two boys racing up the steps. They sounded like a herd of elephants coming after her. She was in the process of pulling up her g-string when Diego charged through the door. Little Diego must have gone in his own room, because she did not see him behind Diego.
“Got damn!” Diego said. “Who are you, and what have you done with my wife?” he asked while staring at her bare breasts enticingly. Fortunately, pregnancy had not done a thing to deflate Sunshine’s breasts, and they still stood nice and firm, just as they had before. Diego closed the door behind him and decided to take full advantage of the situation.
Sunshine saw the wanting look in his eye and felt sorry to have to bat him down. She did not like making love before service. Husband or not, he would have to wait until she felt right and ready.
“Baby, you know I’m on my way to church,” she said.
Sunshine did not have to say another word. Diego understood only too well. He knew that Sunshine didn’t play that “messing around before church” mess.
He walked up to her, kissed her innocently on her cheek, and said, “Well, I’ll be taking a cold shower to calm my main nerve until you get back.”
Sunshine laughed and put her bra on to conceal any further temptation from him. She put on her robe and went downstairs to prepare a quick dinner.
“Mommy, Mommy, can I wear this to church tonight?” Little Diego yelled. Sunshine looked at the denim jeans and Batman T-shirt that her son had picked out all by himself. She was pleased to see that it actually matched.
“Yes, baby, you can wear that,” Sunshine answered.
As Sunshine began to prepare dinner, the telephone rang. The caller ID read UNKNOWN CALLER, just as it had earlier. Sunshine thought about ignoring it this time, but picked it up out of curiosity anyway.
“Hello?” she said into the phone.
“I got it, baby,” Diego said from their bedroom phone.
Sunshine hung up the phone, but she was even more curious as to who the caller was on the other end.
Sunshine was in a daze. She could have sworn that she had just heard another woman’s voice on the other end of the phone.
“Mommy, what are we eating for dinner?” Little Diego asked, interrupting Sunshine’s thoughts. Sunshine had almost forgotten that he was still in the room.
“Mommy’s making some hot dog sandwiches tonight, baby, so we can hurry up and get out of here.”
“I don’t want any mustard on my hot dog, Mommy. Mustard is nasty,” Little Diego informed her.
“I know, sweetheart, Mommy’s not going to put any mustard on your hot dog. Okay, now go run upstairs and wash your face so I can put your clothes on,” Sunshine said.
Little Diego ran back up the steps to do as he was told.
Sunshine thought about picking the phone back up to see who Diego was speaking to; however, she didn’t want to be sneaky like that. She would simply go upstairs and ask him who the woman was.
Sunshine turned down the boiling hot dogs and ran upstairs to question her husband. When she walked into the room, Diego was laughing and carrying on with his conversation as if he didn’t have anything to hide.
“If you’re singing tomorrow night, then I quit,” Diego joked.
Sunshine suddenly felt foolish. Apparently, he was just talking to someone about business.
Sunshine took off her robe and slipped on her clothes. Diego was still talking to the woman, making plans for tomorrow night’s show. Sunshine was beginning to get a little jealous.
“Can’t you make these plans tonight at practice? Dinner is ready and we should go downstairs and eat,” she said.
“Okay, Charmaine, I’ll talk to you in a little bit. My family and I are getting ready to have dinner. Okay, bye-bye.”
“Why does Charmaine have to call you from a blocked number?” Sunshine asked as soon as he hung up the phone.
“I don’t know, baby. Maybe she’s calling from her cell phone,” Diego answered.
“Well, how come you have to make plans with her, and not James or some other guy in the band?” Sunshine asked.
“Oh, baby, come on. I know you’re not thinking that I’m messing around with her,” Diego said.
Sunshine realized how pathetic she seemed, and walked over to embrace Diego. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I guess since we don’t spend as much time together like we used to, I just thought maybe . . .” Sunshine couldn’t even finish her thought.
“Well, you need to stop thinking crazy, Sunshine. I love you, and only you.” Diego wrapped his arms around Sunshine and began to taste her lips with hunger and desire.
Sunshine felt herself beginning to weaken to his touch. When Sunshine didn’t hold back, Diego started to grind his hips against hers. She could feel his erection growing hard against her, even through the baggy jeans he wore. Sunshine’s neatly pressed pantsuit was on the verge of getting wrinkled while Diego laid her across the bed and began to sexually attack her.
Just then, Little Diego barged through the door.
“Mommy, Daddy, how do I look?” he asked. He had gotten dressed without any help from Sunshine.
Diego rolled off Sunshine, and they both laughed.
“You look heavenly,” Sunshine answered. “And you look like the devil,” she said teasingly to Diego. Sunshine stood up and wiped the merging wrinkles off her clothes. “Let go eat, Diego.”
* * *
The next morning, Sunshine woke up extra early to the phone ringing non-stop.
“Get the phone, Diego,” she said in a groggy voice and fell right back asleep. Seconds later, the phone rang again. Sunshine growled with irritation and rolled over to answer the phone herself. She was surprised to realize that Diego wasn’t in the bed with her.
He must be using the bathroom, she thought.
Sunshine picked up the phone. “Hello?” she answered in her early morning voice.
“Hello, can I speak to Sunshine?” the woman asked.
“This is me,” Sunshine said.
“Damn, you sound like shit!” the woman said.
Sunshine was waking up now. “Who is this?” she asked. The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite make it out.
“It’s your sister, dammit! Wake up!”
“Who is this, Vashti?” Sunshine said, guessing it was Little Diego’s godmother.
“No, bitch. It’s your sister, and I’m on my way over there, so get up and get dressed.”
Click! The phone was dead.
Sunshine didn’t know who the woman was, but she got of bed and went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. Maybe it was a crank call.
It took her a minute before she realized that Diego wasn’t in the bathroom. Maybe he was downstairs. She crept quietly downstairs so she wouldn’t wake little Diego, because once he was awake, the day had officially begun, and it wouldn’t be over until he was asleep later on that night.
Sunshine tiptoed around the house in search of her missing husband. After searching the entire house, she realized that he wasn’t home. This was turning out to be a crazy day already. Where was Diego? And who was the my
stery caller who had awakened her to this mess?
Sunshine went back upstairs and crawled into bed. She lay awake for a few minutes, wondering where her husband could be.
Did he even come home last night? she wondered. She had been sleeping so hard she didn’t know the difference. Maybe he just went out for an early morning jog. Sunshine relaxed her nerves and could feel herself about to doze off when she heard the doorbell ring. She looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was six in the morning.
“Who could be ringing my doorbell this time of morning?” Sunshine said to herself.
Maybe Diego forgot his key, she thought as she put on her robe. She checked on Little Diego before she headed back down the steps. Seeing that he was still asleep, she went to go unlock the door for his father.
Sunshine yanked the door open and was shocked to see Rain standing right in front of her. Sunshine stood frozen for a moment, trying to make sure she was seeing right.
“Okay, Sunshine, Kodak moment is over. Can I come inside, or do you want to frame me?” Rain asked.
Sunshine opened the door wider and stepped to the side to let Rain in. “So that was you on the phone earlier?” Sunshine asked, knowing it was.
“Every drip drop,” Rain said.
Sunshine looked Rain up and down real hard with astonishment, taking in all her new changes. She was even more beautiful than before. Time had definitely done her well.
“You cut all your hair off,” Sunshine said, checking out the short haircut she sported. It reminded Sunshine of the way Cathy used to wear her hair before she died.
“Is that all you have to say to me after five years? I know you can come better than that,” Rain teased.
“I’m sorry. You look gorgeous,” Sunshine said.
“So do you,” Rain replied.
Both women opened their arms wide and took each other in. It felt like days had passed before either one could let go of the other. Sunshine let go first.
“Where have you been? And what you been up to all this time? How did you find me?” Sunshine asked.
