by A. W. Cross
Beauty rounded on her. “Against nature? How is anything about us for nature, Violet?” She gestured around the subterranean burrow. “Before The Vault, AI ran our lives. It still does. Why do you think The Vault happened in the first place? Because the AI told them it was the best choice, and they believed it. They’re willing to kill other humans, their own species, because Wakelight says it’s time.” She smacked her palm on the table. “Remember the day before I left, when you and Arjun had broken up because it had become too dangerous to even love? That’s unnatural.” She turned to smile at the man beside her. “Cillian is…Cillian is a miracle.”
Violet reared back as though Beauty had slapped her. But she shut her mouth.
Kaitlin pushed her way from the back. “I’m with Beauty. I knew this whole crappy life was a scam. I told you all. I told you…” Then she burst into tears. To Beauty, that was more shocking than the news she’d just delivered. She’d never seen Kaitlin cry; no one had. She and Red used to think it wasn’t possible.
“Get off me.” She slapped Raphael’s hand away as he reached for her. She turned on him. “Did you know about this? Have you been lying to us this entire time as well?”
“Raphael Quinn knew nothing about this. I can assure you.”
“And you.” She stormed over to Cillian and glared up at him, her hands on her hips. “You have a lot of nerve, knowing what you knew and watching us fighting tooth and nail for a future that was never going to happen.”
Cillian gazed down at her, impassive in the face of her fury. “You’re right. I didn’t know about the plans to collapse The Vault—I also thought I had a future—but I did know about the rest. And I might’ve left you all to that fate if it wasn’t for Beauty. I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I can’t make up for it, or make it right, but I can try to help it end with all of you alive. If you’re willing to let me.”
That took the wind out of Kaitlin’s sails. She deflated right before their eyes, and Beauty noticed for the first time how thin she was, how frail her body seemed. She probably would’ve died years ago if it wasn’t for that fire in her belly. “Oh. Well, fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at him again. “But I’ll be watching you.”
Cillian held up his hands. “Fair enough.”
Beauty turned her attention to the back of the room. “What about the rest of you? Violet? Arjun? Felix? The clock is ticking. And if we’re going to do this, we’re going to need help from the other Guilds. All of them.”
“That’s going to be a pretty tall order. It’s going to be hard enough to get them to believe you, although I must say the Beast—”
“My name is Cillian, Quinn.”
Raphael gave a perfunctory bow. “Sorry, Cillian is pretty convincing, but then trying to get them to also work together? I just can’t see it. Even the threat of death won’t be good enough for the Sightless Fall.”
“That’s where you come in.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You know better than anyone how their minds work. What would it take to convince them this is worth a try, if even the threat of certain death won’t work?”
“I’d…I’d need some time to think about it. I mean, each Guild might want something different.”
“Then figure out what that’ll be. But, Raphael,” he flinched as Beauty said his first name, “do not make any promises we can’t keep. They’ve had a lifetime of that already. If we’re going to do this, we have to do it properly. Or we’ll just go straight from one war to another.”
“What am I supposed to tell them? About the future? Assuming we manage to pull off whatever scheme the two of you have?”
“Be honest. Tell them you don’t know what’s going to happen. Tell them none of us know. We could be leaping from one fire into another. But remind them that this is their only chance. The Vault will not let any of them out.”
“I suspect they already know that. It’s not like many haven’t tried over the years. And we hung them for it. Or they disappeared.” He bit his lip. “Can I at least tell them your plan?”
Cillian shook his head. “I’m sorry, Quinn, but we can’t reveal anything else until the others are on board. It’s just too risky. If word of it got out…”
Raphael nodded, reluctantly. “I understand. It would be easier if I could give them more information, but I would do the same in your position.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll do what I can. But I can’t make any promises to you either.”
Cillian offered his human hand. “Thank you, Quinn. That’s all we ask.”
At first, Raphael stared at the hand as though it were a viper coiled to strike. But he took it, and as he gripped it in his own, he warmed. By the end, the two men shook hands like old friends. Who would’ve thought she’d ever see the day the Beast, the man they feared above all others, and the man she’d considered her father were finally on the same side?
It was a shame she didn’t have the time to enjoy it.
“Cillian? We have to go.”
Raphael grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. “Can I please speak to Cillian for a minute before you go? I want to clarify a few things about your plan.” He dropped his eyes. It was surprising, how easily she was able to read him. He was lying again, but it was a gentle kind of lie, a lie to soothe his own heart.
Beauty let it go. “Of course. I wouldn’t mind some time to catch up with Red, to be honest.”
As Raphael shooed the others away so he and Cillian could sit at the table, Beauty and Red retreated to the room they used to share. No one had taken Beauty’s bed. In fact, it was just as she’d left it, messy and lumpy from all the books stashed under the blankets.
Her chest suddenly tight, she sat down on the edge of her former bed. “You didn’t change anything.”
Red shrugged. “Of course not. Why would I?”
“Because…because I’m not coming back.”
Red picked a loose thread from the blanket on her own bed. “No? Father said you might not, but I didn’t believe it. And then, when he didn’t replace you, I thought that maybe…”
Red still didn’t know the truth about what had happened that night. Should Beauty tell her? Or should she wait until after their plan had been carried out? If they all survived, they would have their own lives, separate from him. Maybe then, it wouldn’t hit her as hard as it had hit Beauty. “Look, Red, I—”
“Don’t worry, I understand now.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I mean, I think I do. When you first went away, I was so angry at the Beast. What he’d done was so…unreasonable. I even fantasized about following you, breaking down his front door, and rescuing you. Pathetic, right?” She gave Beauty a crooked smile.
Beauty left her own bed and joined Red on hers. “Of course not. I’m… I love that you would’ve done that for me. I’m lucky to have you.”
Red sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t. Cillian is…”
“I know he seems scary, but he’s really not. Don’t get me wrong, he’s strong and powerful, and when he gets angry, he’s— Well, my point is that he’s—”
“In love with you.” She gave Beauty a shrewd look. “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“No, he—” He had told her that he loved her…but he’d been out of it. He could’ve been talking to anyone, or hallucinating, even. “I don’t think—”
“Oh please, Beauty. Look at what he’s doing because of you.”
“But it’s not just because of me. He’s doing it for himself as well. Grace Alpha doesn’t intend to let him live any more than it does us.”
Red dismissed Grace Alpha with a wave of her hand. “Pffft. That’s only part of it. Can’t you see the way he looks at you? Can you tell me honestly that nothing has happened between the two of you?”
“I— Okay, we did kiss. Once. But—”
“I knew it! Ha! What was it like?”
“You’re not…repulsed?”
; “By Cillian?”
“Yes. Because of his…you know.” They’d always been taught to abhor augmented humans. Could Red change her mind so easily?
Red shrugged. “At first I was shocked. But he’s not like what we were taught, is he? I mean, when we were being schooled about the evils of cyberization, they made them out to be really monstrous, didn’t they? But when you look at Cillian…he’s still human. Just as human as the rest of us. He just looks different. And actually, he’s kind of hot.” She pressed her fingers over her smile.
Beauty didn’t know what to say. Red was right. When they’d been taught about cyborgs at school, they’d been twisted machines, with barely a human feature other than bloodshot eyes and black hearts. Hopefully, the others would feel as Red did, because after this was all over, they were going to have to get used to people like Cillian, people who’d become what they feared while fighting a war for them.
She reached over and hugged Red. “Thank you.” There was nothing more for her to say.
The other girl grinned back then pressed her lips together.
“What?” Clearly, there was something more on her mind.
“What does he…feel like, you know, when you’re kissing him?”
“He—” Was standing in the doorway, Raphael at his elbow. “Beauty, we need to go.” Had he heard?
“I’m sorry, Red. I’ve got to leave now. But we’ll see you soon.” She embraced her old friend again then followed Cillian from the room.
“Beauty, wait!”
She turned. Red darted into the hallway, clutching Beauty’s old box. “Here. Take this. And never come back. I love you.” She kissed her on the cheek and fled back to her bed, pulling the blankets over her head.
At the door, Beauty turned to bid farewell to Raphael. “Thank you. For believing us, and for agreeing to help.” She leaned over and hugged him, despite the surprise on his face. “And thank you for sending me to the Beast.”
He swallowed hard. “Beauty. I—”
But she shook her head. She didn’t want him to say anything. Right now, her heart was on the way to being mended, and if he made any kind of excuse or apology, it would crack again. “It’s done.”
He kept his peace, though it clearly cost him. But he would have to live with that, just like she had to live with what he’d done. Besides, if he hadn’t, they would never have found out the truth.
She looked up at Cillian. “Let’s go.”
Not once during the trek home did she look back. This was the way it had to be for all of them. We can only look forward. Let everything else go. “Do you think they’ll all come?”
He seemed engrossed in his own thoughts. “I don’t know. But we’ve done what we can. We just have to hope.” He fell quiet again, and they spent the rest of the journey in silence.
We have to hope. Besides some blueprints and a virus, that’s all we have.
19
“Is it time yet? Should they be here by now?” Beauty paced the floor of the meeting place they’d chosen: an old, derelict cavern.
It had once been used for some kind of illicit fighting, according to the information Cillian had been able to dig up. Although Morgan had marked off several potential meeting places on the maps she’d given them, to be on the safe side, he’d picked a spot she hadn’t chosen. Ninety-nine percent of him believed she truly was helping them, but that other tiny percent could scream almost as loudly.
“Stop pacing. You’re stirring up so much dust, they won’t be able to find us even if they do come.” He was nervous enough himself, and watching her walking back and forth, wringing her hands, was making it worse. His nerves were already on edge after the tongue-lashing he’d been given by Cybel when she found out she had to stay home.
“Sorry. I just— I hate not knowing what’s going to happen.” She dropped down next to him where he sat on a row of old cinderblocks lining one of the walls.
“I know. Me too.”
They sat together for a few minutes then the silence began to get the better of Beauty and she made to stand up. If she started pacing again, his head might explode.
“So, was it hard seeing your…Quinn again? And your fam— your Guild?” To his relief, she settled back against the wall. They hadn’t discussed the trip to the Hallow Hands much—they’d been too busy trying to figure out all the ways their plan could go wrong.
She worried at a torn cuticle on her thumb. “It wasn’t hard…just strange. It felt like I’d been away much longer. With the exception of Red, any kind of sadness I had at leaving them was blunted somehow.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. “But I think maybe it’s because we never really knew each other anyway. Every day was just about scavenging, and the competition between us made it hard to relax around each other. But I guess that’s the way Raphael wanted it.” Her head shot up. “That reminds me—what did he want to talk to you about?”
Damn. Why had he brought up the Guild? His conversation with Quinn wasn’t really something he wished to repeat, particularly not to Beauty, and especially not right now. “He just wanted to make sure you were okay.” At first, the conversation had been about Quinn himself. He’d pleaded with Cillian to make things right between Beauty and him. For a moment, when he’d refused, he’d watched the struggle play out over the man’s face. He clearly cared for Beauty, but he was still the same man he’d been when he’d let Beauty take the fall. “Then just make sure you take care of her.”
“She can take care of herself,” Cillian had pointed out.
“You know what I mean.” His voice was almost a snarl. “If you don’t, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
Cillian had raised his eyebrows but let it pass. Quinn was trying to save face, to feel like he wasn’t a complete ass of a father. They both knew he would never make good on his threats.
Yes, Quinn was the least of Cillian’s problems. “You are okay, aren’t you? I mean, besides all this?” He held his breath. He hadn’t really let himself think too much about after. At first, it had seemed the better choice, but now, with the heat from her shoulder pressing into his, he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if they succeeded.
Say we win, say we get to live like normal people. What then?
Would they still know each other? Would she want to see him? Or would things between them change for the worse, once she was no longer with him out of need?
It was the pandora’s box in his brain, the one he was trying to keep locked away.
“I’m okay. But I’m also worried. About what’s going to happen…you know, after. I’ve been trying not to think about it, scared that it would jinx us, but what if we win, Cillian? What if a year from now, we’re living in houses, with jobs…with an open future?”
What should he say? Should he admit he’d been wondering the same? But it was even more specific than that. What he really wanted to know about his future was whether she would be part of it. Did she wonder the same? Or had a future with him not even crossed her mind?
Sweat sprang up on the palm of his human hand. “What would you like to happen?” He tried to make it sound like an innocent query.
He failed. Her breathing changed, quickened, although she gave no other sign of the weight of his question.
“Beauty?” Had she been trying to avoid this very situation? And now he’d put her on the spot. At first, he wanted to take it back, to tell her to forget it, that they could worry about the future after they’d won. But if they didn’t, she would die without knowing how he really felt. There were so many people he’d never gotten to say goodbye to.
No. I can’t leave it. Even if she doesn’t want me back, she’ll know how much I care.
She stopped picking at her fingers and clutched the edge of the cinderblocks, her head bowed. “Cillian, when Gideon shot you and you were shutting down…you said something to me. Do you remember?”
He cast his mind back.
“You have to wake up, Cillian.”
“No.
If you’re here with me, I don’t want to ever wake up.”
“You have to. This isn’t real. If you don’t wake up, you’ll die.”
“I love you.”
I love you.
“Yes. I was pretty out of it, but I remember.” He held his breath. She’d heard him. He’d thought it had been a dream, that strange space between waking and unconsciousness. But he’d said it, and she’d heard.
“Did you mean it?” Her voice was small, and he searched for a clue in those four words. Whatever he said now would change things. But everything was changing. Perhaps his answer could be the constant in the chaos.
“Yes. I know we’ve only known each other for weeks, and I know I’m maybe not what you wanted—”
“I love you too.” She said it so simply, no hesitation.
Happiness lit every nerve in his body on fire. She loves me. Ever since the war, he’d had to live in the shadows. He’d assumed that something as delicate as love would never happen to him. But it had, and it wasn’t the fragile thing he’d imagined it to be. It was a roar, a battle cry.
“So we go forward together?” He turned to her and cupped her cheek in his hand.
She curved her face into his palm and kissed it. “Together.”
He tilted his head down to hers. “Beauty, I—”
A low rumble built beyond the cavern. What the hell is that? Had their plan been discovered? How could he get her out of here.? He’d been such an idiot. The only other exit was on the other side of the room, but if she moved quickly enough, he would be able to buy her some time— He leaped to his feet, pulling Beauty with him. “Get behind me.”
Her face was flushed. “Cillian? What’s going—”
Men and women poured into the room, jostling each other. Their voices were raised as they traded insults, and the occasional elbow to the gut. What—
“It’s the Guilds. They’ve come.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining. “It looks like all of them.”
Cillian wasn’t familiar with every Guild, but he did recognize a few of them.
The ones all in black were the Sightless Fall, arguably the most vicious of the Guilds he oversaw. They were the ones lurking in the shadows, whose second nature was violence. They were the only Guild to enter silently, moving as they always did, almost without sound. The other Guilds gave them a wide berth—not a few of them carried scars from the Fall’s blades.
