She just didn’t know, because Sam was so closed up. No matter how many times Kai had tried to talk to him after they made passionate love, he couldn’t get out of his self-imposed shell.
Kai dragged in a ragged breath, stuffing the cloth in her back pocket. She’d had no idea that Gil was unlike Sam. At least, in bed and afterward. He was able to talk, to share, to be emotionally honest in some ways. Some men never cried. Gil could cry. He had been incredibly tender with her and Kai felt like a goddess being worshipped by him. The look in Gil’s eyes totaled her emotionally. As if…as if he were in love with her. At the time, Kai was so lost in Gil she wasn’t thinking straight at all.
Her mouth compressed and she hauled herself up into the seat of the tractor. Had what she seen in Gil’s eyes been love? Or just the way he was with any woman he bedded? Kai didn’t know. She never got a chance to find out. Resting her hands on the black steering wheel of the tractor, Kai desperately tried to sort it all out. Gil had looked honest with her earlier in the truck. But she knew men could lie. And lie well. Somehow, her gut told her Gil wasn’t lying to her at all.
If he’d come home and his father had had that second heart attack and died, she could understand him taking a hardship discharge to go home and help his family. He was the only son left. It was his responsibility to help his mother and the ranch.
Her fingers curved around the steering wheel. Had Gil ever thought of her after that? Even if he thought she might be angry, had he missed her? Today Kai hadn’t seen in Gil’s eyes the look from years ago, but, God, four years was a long time. And how did she know he wasn’t in a current relationship? She’d never asked him.
Above all, the pain in her heart did not diminish, but at least, her anger was no longer as virulent. Kai reached for the key and turned it. The tractor’s engine turned over and in moments fired up. She focused on it instead of her own miserable state. Kai saw movement out of the corner of her eye. It was Cass coming into the barn. He grinned and threw her a thumbs-up as the tractor purred to life.
The noise reverberated inside the barn. Kai smiled and raised her hand as Cass came around the front of the tractor. In the past three days, a service truck had come out and replaced the two huge tires in the rear and replaced the two small ones in the front. She had made the necessary part. Kai made a signal that she was going to drive the tractor out of the barn and Cass nodded, standing back, still giving her a proud smile.
It felt good to have at least one piece of equipment working. Kai released the brake and drove the tractor at a low speed out of the barn and down the sloping gravel ramp. It was late afternoon, the sky cloudy, as if it might rain later on. Kai saw Talon Holt on a big gray gelding come riding up from the pasture. She waved to him and brought the tractor to a stop on the flat, placing it in Park. The engine sounded good and it was galloping along, not missing a beat. She’d done the timing right and felt good about her skills.
As Talon rode up, she turned off the engine.
“Hey,” he called from his horse, pulling it to a stop next to where she sat on the tractor, “that sounds awfully good.” Giving the tractor a once-over, Talon nodded to her. “Nice work, Kai.”
“Thanks,” she said.
Cass walked up, putting his hand on the fender of the tractor. “She’s got magic, Talon.”
Kai saw the hope in Talon’s eyes. She knew how much it meant to keep the equipment up and running. On the front of the tractor was a front-end loader as well as a posthole digger in the rear. “Everything works on it,” she said. Talon leaned back, his hand on the rump of his gelding.
“Great.” He looked over at Cass. “You can get to work tomorrow morning when you have time, and take that dirt and start putting it down by the pond.”
“Can do, boss.” Cass gave Kai a merry look. “Engine sounds like it’s running real smooth. Nice work, Kai.”
“Thanks, Cass.” Kai patted the tractor. “It’s a good, heavy-duty tractor.”
“What’s next?” Talon asked her, sitting up, standing in the stirrups for a moment before settling back down in the saddle.
“I think you wanted that horse trailer fixed next?”
“Yeah,” Talon said, wiping his sweaty face with his gloved hand. “Before, I wanted the horse trailer first because we needed it to go pick up that horse you wanted from Slade. Then I changed my mind and decided we had to get that tractor running first.”
Kai nodded. “Without a tractor? A ranch is pretty much DOA.” She smiled. “I can wait a few days before picking up my new horse.”
“Gil said she’s a nice-looking mare. You happy with her?”
“I fell in love with Mariah. She’s a gorgeous horse. Wait until you see her.” She saw Talon smile a little. Buying a good ranch horse wasn’t inexpensive. Talon could have bought a much cheaper horse, but it wouldn’t have been as well trained, which could cause the rider problems. Kai liked that Talon did the right thing for the right reasons. “Thank you,” she said, her voice lowering with sudden emotion. She saw Talon nod in her direction.
“You told Slade we’d pick her up in a few days?”
“Yes. I should be able to have the trailer ready in about two days if everything goes according to plan.”
“Great,” Talon said. He pointed to the gray, churning sky above them. “Let’s put the tractor away in the barn.”
“You got it,” Kai said, turning the key. The tractor chugged to life. Talon backed his gray gelding out of the area and Cass moved aside to give her room to drive the tractor around and head for the barn. She felt no small amount of pride as she drove it up into the barn once more. This time, Kai put the tractor in another area, where it would be easy for Cass to reach and drive out the next morning.
*
THE EXCITEMENT AT dinner that night was infectious. Kai was getting praise from everyone at the table for the tractor working. It was almost like Christmas, and she felt good, felt like she’d finally proved she was of value to the ranching family. Sometimes, she’d catch Gil looking at her. This time, it didn’t bother her as much. She saw an unknown emotion in his eyes and was unable to translate it. He was more relaxed than she’d ever seen him since coming to the Triple H. The tension in the lines of his face were no longer in evidence, either. Maybe getting this off his chest had helped him. She wasn’t sure about the information for herself. It still left a gaping hole in her heart. Why?
“Guess who’s coming to Sunday afternoon dinner?” Sandy asked everyone. She beamed. “Gus, Val and Griff are coming over. I invited them because we haven’t seen them in a month.”
“Yes,” Cass said, looking at Kai, “you’ll finally get to meet Miss Gus. She’s a force of nature,” he said, and chuckled. Everyone at the table nodded their heads in unison as they ate the chicken and dumplings that Cass had made for dinner.
“You’ll like her,” Cat assured Kai. “Gruff but fair. She’s really a teddy bear in disguise, so don’t let her scare you.”
“I think,” Gil said to no one in particular, “once they find out how good Kai is as a mechanic, they’re going to try and steal her away from us.”
Sandy frowned. “They wouldn’t do that, Gil.”
He shrugged and gave Kai a warm look. “Well,” he hedged, “I think once Griff finds out, he’ll more than likely get down on his knees and beg her to come over and tinker with their equipment on her days off.”
Kai felt heat come to her cheeks. Gil’s praise meant more to her than anyone else’s and she didn’t know why. “How do you feel about that, Sandy?”
“Good mechanics are hard to find,” she agreed. “And when word gets around in the valley how good you are, I’m sure that on weekends, if you wanted, you could loan yourself out to other ranches. It’s a great way to make some extra money.”
“That sounds good,” Kai said, “because I’m saving to buy a house.”
Talon groaned. “Save a lot, then, because real estate prices on anything in this valley are sky-high. It took Cat seven years
to save enough for a down payment on a home.” He grinned at his wife. “But I got lucky and took her off the market before she did that.”
Cat gave her husband a tender look. “Yes, you did, but you also gave me my house with a white picket fence, too.”
Kai sighed. “This is a gorgeous house, Cat. You have to be happy with it.”
“I am,” Cat murmured, smiling at Talon. “But it’s the guy I married that really makes everything work for me around here.”
“You’re really lucky,” Kai said, meaning it. And she was happy for the newly married couple, love in their eyes for one another. And then, something jolted through Kai as she studied the look in Talon’s eyes. It was the same look Gil had given her when he was with her. Her heartbeat tripled for a moment as the shock bolted through her. Did Gil love her? The thought was stunning and she felt herself skidding down a slippery slope, unsure what to think about it. Yet, that look in Talon’s eyes was the same as what she’d seen in Gil’s eyes earlier. How was that possible?
“Lucky?” Cat smiled a little, cutting into one of the huge dumplings on her plate. “I call it a lot of hard work. When I met Talon, I was drawn to him but I didn’t want to like him. Or,” she added wryly, casting a look at her husband, “fall in love with him. I had a lot of baggage and I was truly gun-shy of men at that point in my life.”
Zeke whined from the living room, his eyes on Cat, his tongue hanging out, thumping his tail.
Everyone snickered at the table, all eyes going toward Talon.
“Zeke,” he growled.
The dog instantly obeyed and lay down on his large, comfy dog bed.
Cat laughed. “When are you going to give into him, Talon?”
“Never,” he groused, stabbing at a piece of chicken on his plate. “He’s not a house dog. He’s a combat assault dog.”
“Maybe,” Sandy said more gently, reaching over and touching her son’s arm, “he wants to change, too. Look at you. You did. Didn’t you?”
“I guess I have,” Talon hesitantly admitted.
“Dogs can change,” Cass added. “I just think you need to work with him daily, Talon. Get him more acclimated.”
“Besides,” Sandy said, excitement in her tone, “when we buy a golden retriever puppy, we want Zeke to like him, not tear him apart.”
“I don’t think Zeke would hurt a puppy,” Talon defended. “He’s just not used to having other dogs around him, is all.”
Cass murmured, “Well, you’d better start getting Zeke up to speed then, bro. Because I think Sandy is serious about buying a puppy sooner, not later.”
Talon gave his mother a look of consternation. “Really, Mom?”
“Well,” she hedged, “I get lonely in here during the day.” She gave Cass a fond look. “And you really need Cass working, not babysitting me.”
“It’s not babysitting you, Sandy,” Cass corrected gently. “I enjoy your company.”
Sandy colored a little. “Well,” she said, paying attention to her plate, working to clean it up, “I know how much Talon needs you as a wrangler. If I had a puppy, she could keep me company. I’d have someone around while all of you are out working.”
Kai saw Talon grimace, keeping his head down, eating. “Talon? Would it take a lot of time to get Zeke used to being more of a house dog?”
“Yeah,” he muttered, “it would.”
“There’s a golden retriever breeder in Jackson Hole,” Sandy said hopefully, giving her son a pleading look. “There’s a new set of puppies that are almost six weeks old and the woman, Judy, told me there’s a runt in the litter, a little female. She said she’d sell her at a good price because she’s the runt. I thought Cass might drive me over there next week sometime and I could look at her.”
Kai saw Talon realize he wasn’t going to say no to his mother. She saw the frustration in his eyes and also the wish to make his mother happy, too. But it was time that was causing Talon’s knee-jerk reaction. “Could I help retrain Zeke? I mean, I don’t know about how to handle an assault dog, but could Zeke come and be with me in the barn while I work on equipment? Kinda get him used to being around me and the stuff we do? Would that help?”
Talon gave her a grateful look. “Yes, that’s exactly what Zeke needs. He needs to be socialized in the different ranch settings. If we put his dog bed out there, he could stay with you. You know the commands for him and he’d obey you.”
“I’d make sure he had a big bowl of water,” Kai promised. She smiled over at Zeke, whose black ears were up, listening intently to the conversation in the dining room. It was as if he knew they were talking about him.
“Would you?” Talon asked, relief in his voice. “Because right now, I’m out on the fence line. We got so many posts that are rotting that need to be replaced. With the tractor online now, Cass could come and help me by driving it around and we could start setting a lot of them. I can’t have Zeke with us because he’s not used to working around the machinery. And if you could sort of babysit him, that would be a lot of help.”
Kai shrugged. “Sure, I’d love to. I love animals and I think he’s so beautiful.” She saw the worry in Talon’s eyes dissolve. “He won’t be in the way. And I can get him used to the equipment, walk him around it, and he can stay with me while I’m repairing something. Get used to the different sounds, sights and smells.”
“That’s perfect,” Cat said, smiling at Kai. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“No, because it gets kinda lonely out there working by myself,” Kai admitted. “I’m used to working around a team of men and women, so having Zeke with me would be nice. I can talk to him.” She smiled.
“Wonderful,” Sandy said, giving Kai a look of thanks. She turned to her son. “Talon? Then are you all right with Cass taking me to look at this little puppy next week?”
“Sure, Mom,” he said. “Cass can arrange it.”
“I’m not certain of the price,” Sandy hedged, giving Cass and Talon a worried look. “She said most puppies are a thousand dollars or more.”
Kai saw the worry in Sandy’s eyes. She glanced apprehensively over at Cass.
“Listen,” Cass soothed, placing his hand on Sandy’s arm for a moment, “we’ll find the funds.” He grinned slightly over at Talon. “I always build a little rainy-day money into the accounting books, anyway. I don’t think you need to worry about that. Okay?”
Kai saw the gentle look Cass gave to Sandy. She saw the woman’s eyes grow moist. If anyone hadn’t realized how important it was to Sandy to have a puppy, they did now. The whole table grew quiet. Gil was exchanging looks with Talon and Cass. Cat was wiping her eyes. Kai felt her throat tighten.
Zeke whined.
Talon rolled his eyes. “That dog, I swear, understands every word we’re saying.”
The table broke into hearty laughter.
Kai happened to glance to her right, where Gil sat at the other end of the table. He was looking at her. His eyes were warm with unknown emotions and it sent heat tunneling through her. She’d seen that look before, and this time it shook her. There was pride in his look but, also, a tenderness that made her heart swell with need—for him.
Quickly looking away, Kai was confused. Her body wasn’t, that was for sure. She felt a gnawing ache in her lower body. Disconcerted, Kai tried to ignore it and him. But it was impossible. Gil’s presence at the table was like sunlight to her, lifting her, making her want things she couldn’t have.
Cass gave Sandy a look of praise. “Hey, you get my world-famous bread pudding dripping with warm caramel sauce for dessert. You cleaned up your plate.”
Sandy smiled, her whole face suffused with pink. “Well, if I’m going to get stronger and I have a puppy who will want to run around with me, I need to eat.”
Kai smiled to herself. Cass had a way with Sandy and the woman was gaining weight. Now, if she got her puppy that would make her want to live even more, to do the things that she used to do. Kai’s heart moved with so many emotions for the wom
an who was battling to live. She saw Cass rise, take Sandy’s plate and give her a smile that told her a lot. She wondered if Sandy was falling in love with Cass, because the ease between them was so real and obvious to everyone at the table.
There was a lot of love at this table, Kai realized. It was clear Talon worshipped Cat. And vice versa. They were a strong team who worked together and worked off each other’s strengths not their weaknesses.
As Kai got up and helped Cass clear the table and dish up the dessert, she wondered if Sandy realized the man really did love her. It was in his eyes for all to see. And the way he touched her sometimes sent an ache through Kai. She remembered that kind of loving touch. And she wanted to feel it again. But it hadn’t been Sam who had touched her like that. It had been Gil. He had been able to show her, without any hesitation, how much he cared for her. Kai didn’t want to use the word love. It wasn’t possible to fall in love in five days, was it?
And it couldn’t be love because Gil had never returned to her. As she brought over the bread pudding that Cass had drizzled with warm caramel sauce, her mind was on Gil. On herself. And that chasm still stood between them. Cass had made Sandy a smaller dessert, wanting her to eat all, not part, of it. The other slices were huge in comparison, but the rest of them were out working from daylight to dusk.
When she served Sandy, the woman smiled her thanks. Giving Cat hers, she grinned. And when she gave the third plate to Gil, the serving was twice the size of Cat’s dessert.
“Thanks,” he murmured, looking up at her.
Kai’s heart twisted. His blue eyes were banked with that same warmth and it made her feel so damn good. It made her feel wanted. By him.
Quickly leaving the table, she went back into the kitchen to bring over the rest of the desserts for them. Shaken by the low, smoky timber of his voice, her body was taking off on its own even though her head warned her that too much from the past stood in their way. Kai couldn’t place her heart before Gil again. There was no guarantee that he wouldn’t walk off and leave her again. Granted, he’d had good reasons for disappearing from her life before. But the hurt, the loss, had totaled her.
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