Doctor Tretter drove past the nurse’s dormitory and parked in front of his building. From the outside, both buildings looked the same, but of course the living quarters of the ranking officials consisted of more than a single room with a shared bath.
Anna sighed, every muscle tensing with dread.
He would rape her tonight again.
For a few hours she had forgotten about this perpetual nightmare, and even deluded herself that she could get away from all of this. But now, she followed him into his living quarters, hung her greatcoat on the coatrack, and put her purse, gloves, and hat on the table in the living room. Hugging herself to keep her arms from shaking, she stood there waiting for his orders. Doctor Tretter strode into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine, before he returned to look at her.
“You’ve been good tonight, Anna. The professor was quite smitten with you, and this will surely help me in my quest to receive the professorship at the Charité. So now it’s my turn to be good to you.” His greedy leer made her toenails curl. Anna didn’t know what was worse, when he showered her with all his sadistic cruelty, or when he was intent on making her enjoy the abuse. “Now get undressed, and wait for me in bed while I finish my wine.”
Anna nodded and crossed the sitting room. She hesitated a split second, but the feeling of T the devil’s stare boring into her back made her cross the threshold to the room where she’d endured the most awful ordeals.
Tonight would be no different.
Anna’s soul left her body, and she returned to the soirée and the delightful conversations with Professor Scherer. I could use someone like you. She smiled and thought about all the possibilities and the hope the professor had planted in her heart and mind. Her mind engaged in a vivid dispute with him about the latest research into bacteria and possible anti-bacteria, and she burned with pride as he praised her for her good work.
“That was good, wasn’t it?” Doctor Tretter’s voice and a painful pinch into the delicate skin of her breast interrupted the dream. She didn’t remember him coming into the bedroom, and she certainly didn’t remember what he’d done to her body. She nodded to avoid further correction.
“Now get dressed and get out of here.” He rolled to his side and started snoring within moments.
Anna stirred herself back to the present and pushed herself up on the bed, holding back the moan of pain that threatened to escape her mouth. The man is a monster, and yet I let him rape me day after day. For a fleeting moment, she considered stabbing a knife into his carotid artery, but she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer.
Several minutes later she slipped out of his apartment and hurried to her own room on the other side of the yard. This late at night, the entire camp was silent. Silent enough for one to ignore its mere existence. To pretend that the living nightmare wasn’t real. That thousands of prisoners didn’t suffer every day. That the annihilation of entire groups of the population was just a morbid notion.
But it was real.
And she knew it. And in the morning she had to face it all over again. She wasn’t the driving force of the machinery, but she still played her part as cog in the wheel, and that weighed on her conscience.
Anna wept tears of regret, wishing she could flush out the guilt that lingered over what she’d become. She eyed the phone and considered calling Ursula to share the brighter events of the evening with her. But it was way past midnight, and if Ursula wasn’t working, she would be fast asleep.
No, it was better to kindle the flame of hope within her heart, and not risk having it ripped apart by sharing it with another person.
Chapter 6
The next morning, Anna woke with a smile on her lips. Her inner light was still shining bright when she left for work. Her good mood was so obvious, even her fellow nurses teased her about a new man in her life. It was true, just not in the way they imagined.
Anna participated in the morning roll call, counted the sick women and the dead, and then went about her daily duties in the hospital ward. The roll calls should have been less time-consuming, because so many prisoners died every day. But it seemed for every dead woman, two new ones arrived in the cattle train transports.
Her heart always constricted when she saw the agonized faces of the newcomers. As if none of them had ever imagined earth could be worse than hell. Anna quickly learned to distinguish those who arrived from other concentration camps from those who were seeing the inside of a camp for the first time. It wasn’t only the haggard and gaunt appearance of the veterans, but also the extinguished light behind their eyes. It was if they had long ago left this world, and only their pathetic physical shell remained.
And there was nothing Anna could do.
As the day wore on, more and more women wandered into the prison hospital, too sick or weak to work. Anna had never wanted to become a nurse, but she’d always wanted to help and heal. Her powerlessness to do so burned in her chest like a hot coal.
When lunchtime arrived, she walked with the other nurses to the canteen, where prisoners served the food. Anna never looked at them. Making eye contact would force her to acknowledge the hunger in their eyes. It must feel like abject cruelty to serve food to others while voracious hunger gnawed at your intestines.
Some of the prison’s employees, though, took great pleasure in further augmenting the prisoners’ misery. At the next table, a particularly sadistic guard offered one of the prisoners a bite of food, and then whipped her when she stretched out her hand to take it. Anna’s stomach churned and she got up from her seat, pushing her half empty tray into the hands of one of the prisoners, hoping she would find a way to shove the food into her mouth without being seen.
In dire need of breathing fresh air that didn’t smell of death and disease, she left the camp through the front gate, as another trainload of women arrived. To hell with Hitler! Anna cursed silently. She hoped there would be a special place for him somewhere that was a million times worse than Ravensbrück.
The remaining fifteen minutes of her lunch break didn’t leave her many options, so Anna turned to the left, where a small artificial lake bordered by poplars lay calm and peaceful. The lake had frozen in the icy January temperatures and children from the nearby town of Ravensbrück skidded along the ice, playing tag. Alas, the refreshing sight of normalcy couldn’t last.
As she returned to the barracks for the sickbay a guard rushed inside, breathing heavily.
“Is there an emergency?” one of the nurses asked.
“No.” The young woman shook her head. “The camp commandant wants to see Nurse Anna right away.”
Anna’s heart froze in her chest as she turned and looked at the guard. “Hauptsturmführer Suhren?”
“Yes, are you Nurse Anna?”
“I am.” Anna nodded, avoiding the anxious looks being sent her way by her colleagues. “What is this about?”
“I don’t know but you must come with me now.”
Anna buttoned up her greatcoat again and followed the guard, wiping her sweaty palms on her coat. Each step felt like a thick mud coated the ground, holding her feet hostage. Her mind raced, thoughts tumbling over each other, trying to determine what she could have done wrong. Had someone snitched on her for leaving food on her plate before handing it to the kitchen prisoner? Had her smile this morning raised a suspicion? Or…had Doctor Tretter made good on his threat to have her executed?
As she entered the prison command center, trailing after the guard, she could barely stop her hands from trembling. Simply keeping her breathing even took all of her concentration. Nurses were never summoned to the camp commandant’s office, unless they’d committed a major transgression. She’d never witnessed this, but the other nurses knew of two instances and both times the nurse summoned had later walked down the execution corridor.
“The commandant will see you now,” the secretary said and pointed to the door besides her desk.
Anna clasped her hands, telling herself that no matter what
happened next, she would be strong and face it with her head held high. She took one hesitant step and then another, letting her feet carry her into the room where her future was most likely already decided.
Her eyes trained on her feet, she entered the office where she’d been only once before. On the day she started working at the camp.
“Heil Hitler,” a male voice, not unfriendly, said.
Anna repeated the greeting and raised her head in dread to look at the man. She almost jumped backwards when a smiling Professor Scherer stood next to the commandant.
“You wanted to see me?” she muttered, her eyes jumping from one man to the other and back.
“Yes, Fräulein Klausen, please sit.” Hauptsturmführer Suhren walked over to a small table with three chairs and gestured for her to do the same. With her heart thumping hard against her rib cage, she took a seat.
“Professor Scherer has approached me with a rather exceptional request.” Suhren scratched his chin as if he couldn’t understand the conundrum that lay at his feet. “He has asked me to consent to your transfer, working at his research department at the Charité. Provided that you agree.”
Anna’s jaw fell to the floor. “Me? Of course I agree.” She glanced at Suhren, who didn’t seem too happy about the situation, and hastily added, “It’s not that I dislike working here, Hauptsturmführer, but if my service can support the war effort better elsewhere, than I will be the last person to object.” She cast her eyes downward in an effort not to jump to her feet and scream her joy.
“In fact, I have spoken to the minister of education and science, and he agreed with my need for a capable nurse like Fräulein Klausen for my research staff at the Charité,” Professor Scherer said.
Anna vaguely remembered that she’d been introduced to Reichserziehungsminister Rust the previous night at the soirée. She smiled at both men at the table, thinking that Professor Scherer hadn’t become the stellar scientist he was by biding his time and placing decisions in the hands of others.
The number of subordinates one commanded was a direct sign of power, and nobody liked to lose an employee, much less cede one to another person. But since the professor had secured assistance from higher authorities, the camp commandant had to grin and bear it.
“Well then, it is agreed,” the professor said; “Fräulein Klausen will come to work with my staff starting this coming Monday.”
Anna nodded, still stunned at the speed of the events. “It will be an honor to work for you. I have always admired your work.” Then a chilling thought crossed her mind and her blood froze into icy clumps. T the devil! He will not like this.
As if Suhren had read her mind, he walked over to his desk and picked up the phone. “Can you please send Doctor Tretter to see me now?”
It took less than five minutes before a knock on the door indicated the arrival of her tormentor. Despite knowing he wouldn’t dare touch her with the two higher-ranking men in the same room, a tremble ran through her limbs.
The secretary announced Tretter’s arrival and moments later he strode through the door in his black leather boots. He scowled when he saw her and his expression darkened when he spotted the professor. “I’m not sure what Nurse Anna has done but I can assure you it will be dealt with–”
“Fräulein Klausen has done nothing, Doctor Tretter. Calm yourself,” the camp commandant said. “Professor Scherer has requested that she join his research team in Berlin. And since all of us want to support his war-relevant work, I am happy to help out.”
Liar. You would scratch out his eyes if you weren’t wetting your pants because the Reichserziehungsminister approved my transfer.
Doctor Tretter sent a stare that promised tremendous consequences Anna’s way and then shook his head saying, “With all due respect, Hauptsturmführer Suhren, I need her here. We’re already short-staffed as it is.”
“You’ll have to do without her. It’s not like you’re actually caring for your patients,” Suhren said with a cruel smile. “Fräulein Klausen will be leaving her post with us and starting her new position in one week’s time.”
“As you wish.” Doctor Tretter clenched his hands by his sides, but bowed his head in a sign of agreement.
Anna swallowed and then took a moment to speak to the professor. “Thank you, Professor Scherer, for your confidence. I will see you in a week’s time and I promise, I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t,” the professor said, smiling his approval.
“There’s work to do,” Tretter reminded her from the door, which he held open.
Anna nodded and preceded him through the door. She walked at a fast pace hoping to postpone the coming confrontation until he’d calmed down, but as they passed by a vacant barracks, he caught up to her and shoved her roughly around the side of the building.
“I’ll give it to you, you snake in the grass.” His hand tightened around her throat and panic crawled up her spine.
“Please, this was a shock to me just as much as it was to you,” she stammered.
“I don’t believe you for a second,” he said and loosened his grip for a moment. Anna took a deep breath, but was too frightened to put up a fight. He noticed the panic in her eyes and a cruel smile appeared on his lips as his expression changed from angry to aroused. Anna’s panic intensified when he put one hand beneath her great coat. “I do like you like this.”
“Is there a problem here?” A deep voice barked the question, and Anna had never been happier to see two SS guards aiming their rifles at her.
“No problem, I’m the head physician,” Doctor Tretter said, turning around, straightening to his full height. “My nurse had a nervous breakdown, but I believe she is better now. Isn’t that right, Nurse Anna?”
“Yes, everything’s fine now.” Anna nodded and ducked around his arm to hurry back to the sickbay before he could stop her again.
“The nurses are sissies, why do we even need them here?” one of the guards said.
“I wouldn’t allow my girl to work. A good woman has to stay at home, tending to her husband and her children,” the other one answered.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Anna had a hard time hiding her excitement. It seemed her stars had aligned, changing her destiny. She would hold onto this chance of a lifetime with both hands and prove to Professor Scherer that she was worthy of his support.
In the evening, she walked to her small room with a newfound bounce to her step, bursting with the need to share the serendipitous change in her life. But unfortunately the last heavy air raids on Berlin had taken a toll on communications and Mutter’s phone line was dead. Worry etched itself into Anna’s mind and she dialed with trembling hands the number of the prison where Anna worked.
“Schneider, Prison Plötzensee,” Frau Schneider, Ursula’s superior answered.
“Anna Klausen, I’m the sister of Ursula Herrmann. Please forgive me for calling, but the phone line at home is dead and I was worried if the last bombing…” Anna left the rest of the sentence unspoken.
“Your sister arrived well and alive at work, so no need to worry,” the woman on the other end of the line answered.
“Please forgive me for calling, but–”
“We’re all worried. Thankfully, nothing bad happened. Soon enough our Luftwaffe will send the Englishman packing. Good evening.”
“Good evening, Frau Schneider, and thank you.”
Reassured, Anna sat in her only chair to write a letter to Mutter and Ursula about her fantastic news. Much later, she fell asleep with a smile upon her face, her dreams full of the marvelous things she was going to accomplish in the years to come.
Chapter 7
It was over! Anna had been counting the days, hours, and then minutes until she could leave this ghastly place for so long, she could hardly believe the time had finally arrived. She folded the last of her personal clothing items into her suitcase and shut the lid. The nurse’s uniform would have to stay, but she didn’t mind. The fewer reminde
rs of her time here, the happier she would be.
T the devil had outdone himself throughout the past six days, thinking of new cruel ways to make her suffer. More than once she’d reached her limit, and only the knowledge that her martyrdom was about to end had kept her going.
Professor Scherer’s car would arrive any minute to take her to Berlin, her new job, and her new life. The sound of a car horn pulled her from her daydreams about the magnificent experiences that lay ahead, and she hurried down to the street.
Anna gasped at the sight of a gorgeous black Mercedes limousine waiting out front – the same kind of automobile that could be seen in propaganda pictures, the ones the Führer himself and his ministers used. She’d never seen such a fine vehicle up close and had never imagined she might actually be a passenger in one.
A queasy feeling passed through her stomach, but she ignored it as admiration of the fine automobile shoved it aside. The shiny black paint, a black leather convertible top that was tightly closed due to the cold temperatures beckoned her to climb aboard. White-walled tires sparkled with brightness and the chrome grill guard on the front reflected the sun shining from a clear blue sky.
To Anna, it looked like heaven on wheels.
A big man dressed in a dark suit with brass buttons and a driver’s cap stood waiting for her. She peeked inside at the tan leather seats, wondering where the professor was. As she took a step towards the automobile, the driver raised his head and her pulse sped up as she started into the glacial blue eyes of Peter Wolf.
He strode over, taking the suitcase from her clenched fingers and stowing it in the trunk of the automobile with panther-like movements. Then he opened the rear passenger door and gestured with a hand for her to get in.
“Herr Wolf...where is the professor?” she asked, her heart thumping like crazy.
“The professor left two days ago on a business trip. Are you ready to go, Fräulein Klausen?” he said with a gravelly voice that slithered down her spine. It was comforting and disturbing at the same time.
War Girl Anna (War Girls Book 3) Page 3
