“Thank you,” she murmured when he got in the driver’s seat. “You look very handsome tonight as well.”
“I couldn’t have you completely outshining me,” he teased as he pulled back out into traffic.
Anna settled back in the seat with a smile. She’d grown to like Peter a bit more every day. He was so different from the slick, slimy men she worked with. Every one of her colleagues did his best to butter up his superiors, tying to meet some ideal he thought would gain him a higher position. And definitely none of them ever spoke out of line in their quest for a good standing and a fast promotion with the Nazi government.
But Peter was just … Peter. He was always true to himself – honest. Anna giggled at her own musings.
“What’s so funny?” Peter asked with an amused glance.
“Actually, I thought how different you are from the men I work with.” She turned to observe him and, right then, the artery in his neck started throbbing. It was one of the telltale signs that he was on alert. It appeared at the strangest moments, and Anna hadn’t yet been able to figure out what triggered the raising of his guard.
But being the thorough researcher she was, she took another mental note. Eventually, she’d solve the entire puzzle that was Peter. Being different, he wants to blend in.
“Ahh, I would hope that I’m more dashing than your colleagues,” he commented with a joking tone in his voice. But Anna knew him too well to be fooled. His carotid artery kept pulsating.
“Of course you are.” She smiled and boldly put a hand on his arm. “But it’s mostly your behavior. You behave differently.” Anna had barely finished her sentence when she felt his entire body tense up. She decided to push further. “You’re true to yourself.”
Peter stopped the car in front of the Charité, and she could sense his growing discomfort and his need to stop the conversation. It was a pattern they’d gone through many times in the past weeks. But today she wasn’t about to veer away. She increased the pressure on his arm, effectively keeping him in place, squirming like a worm on a hook. “You never say something just because the other person wants to hear it. You’re honest.”
His eyes flickered. But he regained control almost instantaneously and smiled. “That’s a pretty deep analysis of a simple driver. May I now escort the most beautiful woman on earth to the party?”
Like always, his smile did funny things to her, melting her resolve to unravel the mystery Peter Wolf presented. For now she was content to know that he lied – about what she wasn’t sure – and nodded. “We wouldn’t want to be late, now would we?”
Peter walked around the Mercedes to open the door for her, and extended his hand to help her to get out. Anna wasn’t afraid of him anymore, but the more she got to know him the more she was convinced that he was a dangerous man.
“You’re a knockout in that dress,” he said, his eyes traveling up and down her body as he helped her out of her coat in the big foyer.
Anna blushed and looked up into his eyes. Right now they didn’t hide anything. She took a step back to take in Peter’s physique. His broad shoulders filled out the tuxedo jacket; the contrast between the crisp white buttoned-down shirt and the black suit with the satin lapels made him look all the more attractive. He fit in perfectly with everyone else, but Anna noticed the bulge under his jacket. The Mauser pistol. Peter was dangerous – deliciously dangerous where she was concerned.
Professor Scherer already waited for them in the large room decorated with swastikas and rods of Asclepius. Uniformed waiters carried silver trays of champagne and offered one to Anna. As he seemed to always do, Peter faded into the background as soon as he reached Professor Scherer’s side to serve as his security guard.
Anna had first been angry, then confused, and then stunned by the way people – even the waiters – seemed to see right through him as if he weren’t even present.
“Fräulein Klausen, you look lovely in that dress,” Professor Scherer complimented her. Since working for him she’d quickly become his favorite staff member, and he’d become a valuable mentor to her. Much to the dismay of her predominantly male colleagues, who thought the only acceptable place for a woman in the Charité was wearing a nurse’s uniform and standing at a patient’s bed.
“Thank you so much for making it possible for me to be here.” Anna smiled, a hint of sadness sweeping over her. Professor Scherer had taken on a father role in her life, and on occasions like this she wondered whether she would ever see her own father again.
“Come, I will introduce you around,” he said, taking her elbow and leading her further into the room. He made good on his promise, and Anna found her knees becoming like jelly when they came to stand in front of a group of highly decorated uniformed men, one of whom she recognized as Heinrich Himmler. The man who was responsible for facilitating and overseeing the concentration camps. Unsure whether or not it was expected of her to Heil Hitler, she waited until she was spoken to.
“Heinrich,” Professor Scherer greeted the man as if he were a close friend, “may I introduce Fräulein Klausen to you. She is my newest scientific discovery, my star pupil, and I’m sure we will hear great things from her in the years to come. I found her at the camp in Ravensbrück, working for Doctor Tretter.”
The mention of T the devil’s name sent a physical punch to her stomach, but somehow Anna managed to stand upright and smile at the Reichsführer of the SS.
“Well, well, whoever said there’s nothing good coming out of the camps clearly was wrong.” Himmler held out his hand saying, “Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Fräulein.”
Anna fought the urge to scratch out his eyes and glanced downward to hide her growing disgust. “It’s my pleasure…” She had no idea about how to correctly address him and opted to use his position. “…Herr Reichsführer.”
Thankfully Professor Scherer excused them and then went to introduce her to many more people, all of them apparently belonging to the inner Nazi circles, or at least to the wealthy people associating with the Party leaders.
In awe of all the power and wealth permeating the room, she searched for Peter, hoping a glimpse of him would ground her back in reality. Despite his external appearance’s blending in perfectly, his presence stuck out like a sore thumb against the yea-sayers, blind followers, and enthusiastic Party members. But apart from Anna, apparently nobody even noticed him.
He sent her a grin, and she felt the confidence seeping back into her bones. She could fake her way into this elitist society. She hadn’t honed her acting skills for nothing over the years. Anna made smart talk, returned the smiles people sent her, and slowly relaxed, until pride filled her chest when Professor Scherer introduced her again as his star pupil, despite the fact that she wasn’t even technically one of his students. She hadn’t been admitted to university – yet.
But I will. And when that happens…look out.
But the more she enjoyed herself, the louder a nagging voice in her head repeated Ursula’s words. They are Nazis. Stay away from them. You’re either for them or against them. There’s no in-between. Anna brushed the pesky warnings away. Just because she enjoyed this celebration with all its splendor and razzle-dazzle didn’t mean she liked the Nazis. She could very well differentiate, thank you very much.
As the evening wore on, she danced with several of the young medical graduates in their new and shining military uniforms, but the one man she longed to dance with was off limits. She glanced at Peter, who stood a few feet sideways to the professor, and almost giggled at the dark stare he sent her current dance partner. After this dance she excused herself, and walked over to a group of uniformed men in a heated discussion with Professor Scherer.
Anna only had eyes for Peter while she stood silently only half-listening to their conversation. When they mentioned that Admiral Canaris had been dismissed from his position as chief of the Abwehr several days earlier, she noticed how Peter’s stance became rigid as he intently listened in on the speculations about the
reasons and possible implications.
Himmler must know but he only mentioned that Canaris was currently in Burg Lauenstein, awaiting the bestowal of the German Cross in Silver and Hitler’s new orders. The conversation soon turned to military topics and Anna couldn’t believe her own ears.
Contrary to radio news of victories, the gathered military leaders talked about losses. Losses of lives, material, and land. Advances of the Eastern Front had been all but rolled back, the glorious German Wehrmacht outnumbered by the Red Army one to ten, overrun faster than they could retreat. Hundreds of thousands of German soldiers had been killed or captured.
A cold hand reached into Anna’s heart. Her brother Richard was relatively safe in Warsaw, but for how long? If the Eastern Front had really crumpled like these generals indicated, the Russians would soon march into Warsaw and – God forbid – onto Germany’s home soil.
Anna didn’t like the Nazis, but the prospect of Red Army soldiers looting, raping, and murdering their way across her country frightened her even more. No, she thought and shook her head. Those men were exaggerating; it would never come to that. It could never come to that.
Her eyes sought out Peter’s again, but this time his expression did nothing to reassure her. Hate waged a war in his striking blue gaze at the mention of violent combat in the East of Poland. Anna tuned out the talk of war and left the group again to find diversion in dancing with young and optimistic medical graduates. Their attitudes intrigued her, since all they wanted was to embrace life and enjoy the pleasures it offered to the fullest before being sent to the inevitable cruelty of the front.
Chapter 13
In the wee hours of the morning Professor Scherer escorted Anna to the waiting limousine and Peter’s care. “Make sure she gets home safely.”
“You know I will, Professor,” Peter answered, assisting her into the back seat of the vehicle, before he asked the professor, “At what time shall I return for you?”
“Don’t worry about me. I will see myself home. Fräulein Klausen, it was a pleasure having you here this evening. Goodnight.” Professor Scherer performed a small bow and then returned inside.
Peter took the driver’s seat and remained quiet until he had pulled out onto the streets. Due to blackout restrictions darkness enveloped the automobile, but still Anna could feel his eyes on her in the mirror.
She had no idea how he drove through the dark night with the dimmed headlights. Maybe his eyes adjusted to the poor lighting, and since there was hardly any traffic on the streets, including foot traffic, it probably seemed riskier than it actually was.
“Peter?” Anna whispered into the stillness of the night.
“Yes, Anna?”
“Could I sit up front with you?”
“Certainly.” Peter chuckled and pulled over. A moment later he opened her door and pulled her from the vehicle and into his strong arms saying, “Are you spooked?”
“Not really, but it was rather lonely back here, with no lights on anywhere in the city…” She had no idea how to explain that she’d been missing the comfort of his nearness.
“You don’t have to explain. I’d love to have you sit beside me.” He opened the front passenger door and handed her back into the automobile before he hurried around to the driver’s side.
After starting their forward movement once more, he reached across the seat and searched for her hand. Anna basked in the warmth emanating from him and when he tugged her over closer to him, she felt peace settle into her bones. “Thank you.”
“For what? I didn’t do anything.”
It wasn’t true. Being with him seemed to heal her weeping soul. By his side she could forget.
“Did you have fun tonight?” Peter asked after a while.
“A lot. I can’t remember having had so much fun in years. It’s not as if there are many chances to go out and dance these days.”
“I wish I could have danced with you.” He squeezed her hand and gave a slight chuckle, continuing, “Don’t get me wrong, I want you to be happy, but I hated seeing you in the arms of all those young men. Young men that weren’t me.”
Anna giggled. “Don’t tell me you were jealous.”
“Not really… maybe a bit. Fine, I admit it. I’d rather have you all to myself.” At his husky disclosure, Peter growled with such fierce possessiveness that her heart jumped and she wanted to yelp with joy.
He pulled up in front of her building and turned off the engine. When he made no move to get out, she gazed at him. His expression turned fiery, and he stared at her with desire flaming in his eyes. Her heart missed a beat or two. Images of another man kissing her flashed through her mind and she tensed.
No, I will not cloud this moment with regret and shame from the past.
The expression in Peter’s eyes changed, became softer, as he reached up and fingered a lock of her hair that had escaped the pins of her elaborate hairdo.
“I want to kiss you,” he said, his finger tracing its way down her cheek. A delicious tingle followed in the wake of his caress and suddenly the world stopped spinning. Time stood still as she waited with rapt anticipation to be kissed by him.
“Kiss me,” she whispered and leaned into him. Moments later, his lips landed softly on hers and the overwhelming sweetness of his touch seeped deep into her soul. Anna struggled with the intensity of her emotions, and when he reached out to press her tighter against him, she instinctively jerked away.
“I should leave. It’s late.”
“What are you afraid of, sweetheart?” His voice was calm and soft, his hands holding hers in a reassuring grip.
I can’t possibly tell him. Not when all I want is to forget. Cut my link to the past once and for all. She shook her head, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
“Anna, sweetheart. Don’t cry, please.” Peter used his finger to wipe the tear away. “I would never do anything to harm or scare you.”
She nodded.
“Please promise to tell me if I ever do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Will you?”
She nodded again.
“Good. Get some sleep and I will see you at work.” Peter placed a kiss on the top of her head and asked, “Now should I walk you to your door?”
“Better not. I’d rather not give Frau Weber a reason for gossip.” She cocked her head and pondered whether she should tell him about how her neighbor had called the Gestapo on the sisters, because she’d seen a man enter their apartment. Maybe another time. “Good night Peter. I did enjoy the kiss, it’s just…” She sighed, at a loss for words. How did a woman explain to her new romantic interest that she’d been brutalized for so long, so tormented by a violent past, she didn’t even remember what it was like to feel whole?
“No use sweating over it.”
Anna smiled, letting the moment pass, and then slipped from the Mercedes, quietly making her way into the building. Kissing Peter had been wonderful, but she needed time to process the emotions moving through her body. And sleep. She needed sleep.
***
The next morning, when Anna woke up late, Ursula was already waiting for her, tapping her toe on the floor in annoyance.
“How was the party?” She held out a mug with hot tea. “Sorry, not even Ersatzkaffee left in the house.” Recently, even the ration cards couldn’t buy anything anymore. Hundreds, maybe thousands of shops in the capital had closed, because their owners had been forced to leave or to work in war-related industries.
“It was wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time. There were so many important people there, and Professor Scherer introduced me to all of them.”
Ursula grimaced and Anna could read her thoughts. Nazis. All of them. You’d better stay away.
“Not all of them are bad. I even met Reichsführer Himmler–”
“And what exactly is not bad about him?” Ursula’s scathing comment cut through the air like a knife.
“Of course, he is evil. But there were others, recent graduate doctors–”
“–happily following Hitler into his monstrous war,” Ursula completed her sentence.
It wouldn’t make sense to tell her sister about the champagne, food like there was no shortage, exotic fruits most Germans had forgotten existed, and real chocolate.
“Professor Scherer has promised to promote me; he may even help me to get accepted into university. Can you imagine?” Anna beamed with pride, but her sister’s face went from sour to worried. “He says I’ve made so much progress with the tuberculosis vaccines. And he couldn’t stop telling people I was his new scientific discovery. His star pupil.”
Ursula’s eyes squinted and she put a hand on her stomach. “Have you ever thought that your professor wants something in exchange for his mentorship? He’s a widower after all.”
“You’re…vile! How dare you say such things about the professor? He’s been nothing but supportive and a perfect gentleman.”
Ursula sighed theatrically. “Just be careful. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
As if even worse things could happen to me than already have. Anna scoffed. “Ursula, I appreciate your worries, but you haven’t even met Professor Scherer. He’s a wonderful man. You would like him, I know you would.”
Ursula shook her head, arguing, “No. I wouldn’t. I don’t care how nice and gentlemanly he appears to be, he’s still a Nazi.”
“Not everyone who is a Nazi is evil,” Anna said.
“Really? You can tell that to me after seeing what they are doing to people? What they did to our sister? To you?”
“The professor didn’t do anything to Lotte or the other prisoners.” Anna trembled with fury. Why couldn’t Ursula see how her constant judgments colored her beliefs?
“But the people he affiliates himself with did. And he knows,” Ursula said, seemingly out of breath.
“You’re just jealous.” Anna walked past Ursula towards the bathroom.
“Jealous? Of you?” Ursula asked incredulously, trailing after her.
“Yes. Because I’m finally about to fulfill my dream of becoming a scientist, while you’re stuck in that awful job of yours.” Anna slammed the door shut, locked it behind her, and stepped under the cold shower – they hadn’t had hot water for months.
War Girl Anna (War Girls Book 3) Page 6
