by Karen Anders
Ellie looked over her shoulder and sighed. “Yeah, I know, but no one can get near her. Mom bought her at an auction because the horse was being abused. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to get her to trust us. Mom won’t let me even try to ride her.”
Corey looked at the animal again. “Would you like to?”
“Yeah, are you kidding? I’ll never make time with dog meat here,” she said, indicating her mount. “He’s just too old. Mom worries too much. I understand, but I really want to compete, Corey. Do you think you could talk Mom into it?”
He pulled on one of her braids. “I don’t know, Ellie. I’m not going to be here that long.”
Disappointment clouded her eyes, but he could see she tried to hide it. For some reason, that little act of sparing his feelings got to him. His throat clogged. “I’m sorry, Ellie.”
In a mimic of his move, she pulled on one of his braids. “That’s okay, Corey. Mom said you weren’t staying long. Just until you healed. Don’t worry, I’ll find some other way.”
She bent down and picked up a pad of paper that Corey hadn’t noticed near the post. “What’s that?”
“Just some scribbling.”
“Let me see.”
“It’s not really that good, Corey,” Ellie said nervously and bit her lip.
“Come on, darlin’, let me see.”
She looked up at him with anxiety and trust. Anxiety, he realized, because she was nervous about his opinion. She cared what he thought.
He opened the pad and came face-to-face with one of his demons. He swallowed, his hands shaking. The drawing of Two Tone was good for a thirteen-year-old child. He stared at it so long that Ellie shifted nervously.
Memories flooded over him. Memories of his father explaining art to him exactly as he was about to do with Ellie. Guiding him, taking the time to see that he had done it well. Of course, Corey thought bitterly, those fleeting fond remembrances came before the vicious attack that had changed his father into a self-destructive abuser.
“So what do you think?”
“It looks just like him. It’s good, Ellie. With practice it could be outstanding.” He looked down at her, noting the pride on her face. He reached out and gently smoothed a, strand of hair off her face. “Do you have any drawing pencils?”
“Sure.” She stooped down and retrieved a pencil box. She pulled open the worn lid, took out a sharply pointed pencil and handed it to him.
He turned the pad so she could see. “His eyes aren’t quite right. Do you see?” He used the eraser out of her box. “Now look.” He sketched Two Tone’s eyes from memory.
“It was the arch. That’s what I was missing. Jeez, Corey, that’s great.”
“His snout is just a little bit shorter. That’s what’s throwing his face out of proportion. See?” She watched as he sketched, hanging on his every word as he described what he was doing.
The phone in the barn began ringing and Ellie’s head jerked up. “That’s probably Mary Lou. I’m supposed to be going to her house next week. I’d better get it.”
He smiled and handed her the pad. “We’ll talk later.”
She smiled at him and clutched the pad to her chest as she raced away, disappearing into the barn. Beautiful child. Beautiful mother. Damn stubborn beautiful mother.
What was he going to do? He sauntered over to the fence. of the corral that penned in the little mare. He stood staring at her for a few moments. She had an elegant head, and intelligent shining brown eyes that were wary and frightened. His guess would be Arabian mix. Definitely fast, he thought. He clicked his tongue and the animal’s head raised and studied him. He said nonsense words in a soft liquid voice and coaxed the sleek animal closer. With the language of his forefathers still streaming from his lips, he ducked under the fence and stood still, his voice soothing.
The mare moved a little closer as if drawn to him against her will. He held out his hand. The horse’s nostrils flared and she whinnied. Then she turned and bolted to the other side of the paddock.
There was potential here. She had responded, if only briefly. He could work with her. It would take a couple of weeks, but he bet he could get a saddle on her and have her barrel racing within three weeks. Tops.
But you won’t be here for three weeks. You won’t be here another minute if you can help it.
There was a low grunt at his feet and he looked down to find the little pig butting his ankles. Gingerly he crouched and scooped him up. Holding him like an infant, he scratched the exposed pink tummy. The little pig grunted again in pleasure and closed his eyes.
Corey’s face twisted and he clenched his jaw against the surge of emotion, raw and painful. God, he thought, he wanted to stay here. He wanted to stay here so badly. Sucking in a quick breath, he continued to cradle the pig and headed back to the barn to finish what he’d started.
When his chores were done, he borrowed Jennifer’s truck and drove into town. There was unfinished business that he needed to attend to. He trailed the man he was looking for to Jack’s Trap, a beer and pool hall on the outskirts of town. He pushed open the swinging doors and walked into the dim interior.
Tables and chairs were scattered around, some patrons sitting at the tables and some at the bar. Corey spied Jay at the bar. He knew he was leaving and he knew that he couldn’t possibly walk away and abandon Jennifer and Ellie without some kind of promise from Jay. Corey could feel the animosity in the air, but not one to back down from a challenge he sauntered up to the bar.
When Jay saw him, he swore softly and slipped off the stool. “What’s the matter Butler, scared?” Corey said, sneering.
Jay bristled and backed up. “No.”
“You should be,” Corey said, his gaze cold and hard as his voice dropped a notch. “I’ve got a feeling that the only friends you have in this town are your brothers. In fact, I could probably take you outside right now and beat the hell out of you and no one would intervene.”
“That’s not true.” Jay paled and looked around anxiously. “I have a lot of friends.”
Corey grabbed the front of Jay’s shirt and changed the subject, moving his face a little closer to Jay’s, his body taut with overt male aggression. “What would it take for you to leave Jennifer alone?”
“Get the hell out of town, chief. That’s what it would take,” Jay snarled.
“I’ve got your promise, Butler?” Corey reinforced his words by tightening his hands in Jay’s shirt, shaking him hard once.
Jay swallowed and shifted his eyes from Corey’s, his pale complexion turning blotchy red. “Yeah,” he growled. “That’s what it would take.”
“Done. I’m leaving tomorrow on the next bus out of town. Keep your promise, Butler, or all bets are off and you’ll have me to deal with. Are we on the same wavelength?”
“Why don’t you take your threats and stuff—” Jay stopped short when Corey’s expression went dangerously still. Jay’s face turned sullen and resigned. “We’re on the same wavelength.”
“Wise decision,” Corey said, and turned away, leaving as quietly as he’d come.
He never saw the murderous look in Jay’s eyes, or the evil smile.
Chapter 6
It was dark outside the next day when Corey finally made it back to the foreman’s cottage. He’d had two full days of activity, including roping, wrestling and inoculating the new calves. He’d also untangled three bulls that had been caught in some leftover barbed wire some reckless ranch hand had left lying about. All in all, he’d used muscles he’d forgotten he had.
Jennifer had been right, it was like a small house. The three spacious bedrooms and one bath were on the upper level, while another bath, kitchen, den, living room, dining room and laundry room were downstairs. He couldn’t spend another night in her warm cozy house in her sweet-smelling bed imagining Jennifer wrapped around him. They had fought about it, but he wouldn’t budge. He’d picked up his clean wash and exited to the bunkhouse. Jennifer had given up.
Painful
ly, he pulled off his boots and dropped them to the floor, then he went into the bathroom and washed the dirt off his face, gingerly cleaning around the almost-healed scrape on his face.
He raised his head and looked up, trying to avoid his own eyes in the mirror, something he’d been doing for weeks now. Ever since he had gotten out of the hospital the vague anxiety had plagued him. Followed by the paralyzing fear when he’d even tried to go near a rodeo again. His outlet for his pain was gone. Now all he could do to assuage his torment was to keep moving. Never to stop or it would swallow him whole.
How could he go on with his life if he couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror? What would he have to offer Jennifer? Hell, where had that thought come from? He couldn’t stay. He wasn’t a fool. He knew what he saw in her eyes. He couldn’t be that man.
He had thought when he was a child, if only he could be good enough, his father would love him again. Show him how to draw and sketch. Put his big hand on his head to ruffle his hair as he used to do instead of drawing those hands into fists to hurt him. He wanted to be whatever Jennifer needed because she was all he would ever need.
Walking from the small bathroom to his saddlebags, he searched around for the aspirin he thought he had packed before he’d left the house. But he couldn’t seem to find the tablets. His hip was aching so bad he didn’t think he could sleep.
He wasn’t used to the activity he’d gotten today. His whole body ached and throbbed, but the exquisite pain to block out all the other pain was coming from his battered soul.
He went to the open door of the cottage, looked up at the house and saw a light on in the kitchen. “Damn,” he whispered to himself. Was she awake?
Before he could even think that what he was doing wasn’t smart, he was at her back door knocking softly. He needed to apologize for his actions in the barn yesterday. He’d acted like a complete idiot. And he needed to find out when the next bus left town.
Jennifer was in the kitchen making coffee because she couldn’t sleep. The kiss in the barn still haunted her. Tha( wild ride brought back memories of how excited she had been about life and it reminded her now how bitter she had become. Where had the joy gone? The pure sweet magic of just being alive. Had Sonny taken that away from her? Had her responsibilities so paralyzed her that she couldn’t enjoy just being alive? Those revelations had shaken her. She didn’t know she had such a depth of feeling inside her. Never knew she could respond so forcefully to a man the way she had responded to Corey. Never knew she could hurt this bad. Shouldn’t she reach out and grab that bit of intensity? Was she a fool? She’d be a fool to let him walk out of her life without once knowing his touch. She shivered in the flimsy robe she wore, her nipples puckering against the fabric. Her body felt intensely alive and throbbing.
She closed her eyes to better concentrate on how his hard, demanding mouth had felt against hers, the almost desperate way he’d held her, as if he needed something from her. Something more than the pressing of lips and bodies. Something more than physical, something elusive and tantalizingly close.
Reckless magic.
She could almost reach out and touch it. She couldn’t stop thinking about Corey. How he had looked, the pain in his voice when he believed she had rejected him.
The knock on the door jolted her out of her thoughts. She’d been staring into space while the water overflowed the glass pot she’d been filling. She turned off the tap, disgusted with herself.
Setting the carafe down, she went to the door, holding her breath, praying it was him. Her prayer was answered. His broad shoulders filled her doorway. She could only think of how those thick muscles had felt beneath her hands, the warmth of his skin against her sensitive palms. “Corey,” she breathed, unable to keep the need she felt out of her voice.
“I was wondering if you had some aspirin. I’m a little achy. I haven’t been on a horse since I got out of the hospital.”
Out of the hospital? She repeated the words to herself as she turned her body so that he could get past. Why had he been in the hospital? “Just another reason you shouldn’t be on a horse. So don’t expect any sympathy from me. Well, why don’t you come in?” Regardless of his pain, she couldn’t get it out of her head how he had looked straddling that big bay while he roped calves. He’d handled him gracefully, making hard grueling work look like artistry.
He raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure you want me to come in?”
“Don’t be silly. Of course you can come in. I’m making coffee, if you’re interested.”
“That sounds good.”
He brushed past her, his chest sliding along hers, and she heard her own quick intake of breath. She quickly moved away from the door and him, hastily making the coffee while he settled himself down stiffly at the table.
“I’ll go get the aspirin,” she said breathlessly. “Be right back.”
Jennifer found the bottle of aspirin and quickly returned to the kitchen. Unscrewing the top, she shook out two tablets.
“Better make it four,” he said.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Her hand reached out, but she drew it back. He had said not to touch him.
“Yeah, I’m great,” he answered, the bitterness breaking through his words. “Just great.”
She dropped the tablets into his hand, trying not to touch him. But still the awareness was there. It crackled between them like heat lightning trapped in a jar.
She wiped her palms on the soft silk of her robe, then went to the stove and poured two cups of coffee. “Black, right?” Her palms were perspiring so badly she was afraid she’d drop the mugs.
“Right.” He must have heard the tremor in her voice because with a pained expression on his face he said, “Maybe I should go.”
“No. Please!” She put her hand on his shoulder, but instantly pulled it back. “Please stay.”
He stood up abruptly. The chair fell back and hit the floor with a bang. “Damn it, Jennifer. Don’t act this way around me. I promise I won’t touch you again unless you want me to. I’m not some lustful savage who will drag you under me and sate my wild desire!”
She looked up at him, her mouth suddenly going dry. Somehow she had hurt him. Only now did she realize that his actions were not because he didn’t want to be touched, but because he craved it.
She knew what she wanted. She wanted to explore what was in her heart, even though her head told her she was being a bigger fool than when she had fallen in love with Sonny Braxton. Ten times a bigger fool because the love she felt for her outlaw was ten times bigger.
She didn’t even have to think about her response. In the day since they’d almost made love in the barn, she had thought of nothing else. He would leave. She knew that and suddenly that didn’t matter to her. She wanted him, even for one night. For one glorious night of reckless abandon that would remain with her for the rest of her life. “Corey, what if I want you to touch me?”
He groaned softly, gathering her into his arms and pulling her against his hot, muscular body. “Jennifer, this is craziness. I didn’t want this to happen. I fought against it.”
“What about now, Corey? Are you still going to fight it?”
“Right now, Jennifer,” he growled roughly, “I feel if I don’t have you, I’m going to die. But I don’t want to hurt you when I leave.”
“I can accept that you have to leave,” she lied. When the time came she wouldn’t cling to him, she wouldn’t plead and she wouldn’t beg. She would just let him go. “I understand that you have to leave. I’ll take tonight, Corey.”
She could do this. She could make love with him and let him go. It would come with a high price, but it was one she was willing to pay.
She could never give herself to a man without giving him her whole self. She couldn’t give herself to a man she didn’t love. It was true she did love him. She’d fallen into his needful turquoise eyes and lost her heart. She couldn’t tell him that she loved him, because she knew that he didn’t want to hear it.
Whatever he was running from was interfering, and the only way she knew to fight it was to touch him physically, show him in the most fundamental way how she felt about him.
It would mean that she would have to stop playing it safe, but for Corey, she would do it, even if he left. She would endure the almost unbearable pain. She would let him go. A brief affair with him was better than never knowing a passion beyond any other. A passion that would burn long after physical desire was met, if only she could break through his noble attitude.
“I was just passing through. How the hell did this happen? I’m alone for a reason. I’m not fit to be with anyone, but I still want you. I really want you.”
“I want you, too. I want you to touch me,” Jennifer encouraged.
“I want to. God, you don’t know how much I want to. But I can’t.”
“Why? Don’t you want to make love to me?”
“Of course I do. I feel it every time I’m near you. But it wouldn’t work. You’re like the tree, rooted, stable, and I’m like the wind, restless, constantly moving.” He stepped back.
“Corey, the wind does blow through the tree and the tree does bend and spring back.”
“I don’t have anything to give you,” he moaned. “I’ll be leaving tomorrow on the first available bus. You said you would lend me bus fare.”
“I did say I would, but don’t go yet, please stay for just a little while and talk to me. If you don’t want me, I understand.”
He turned around, but she persisted. “You said you were in the hospital. What for?”
He stopped and looked over his shoulder.
“Please, Corey, I’m a really good listener.” She put all the pleading and beseeching she could muster into her voice, into her eyes, into the very air around them.
He released a ragged breath and sat down.
She sat across from him and curled her hands around her mug to keep from touching him. “You said you were in the hospital,” she prompted.
He surprised her by smiling that sweet boyish smile she liked so much, but then there wasn’t much about this man she disliked.
