“There was an inquest, but it was a farce and then that was it. They were going to let it all pass without doing anything. I couldn’t allow that to happen. I wasn’t going to let Mr King’s kindness be repaid by my walking away and doing nothing.” Alfred said, looking angry at the memory of how his employer had been let down by society.
“What did you do?” Laura knew that she held a decent man, every action and word he had uttered proved it to her, but she also knew what revenge could drive someone to and she worried about what he had done.
Alfred looked at Laura, before resting his forehead on hers. “I almost killed a man.”
Laura stopped herself from the gasp that was in danger of escaping her lips. She must not react in such a way that Alfred would withdraw from her. She guessed correctly that this was the first time he had ever spoken about it to anyone. “Tell me.” she whispered.
“You will leave afterwards in disgust.” Alfred said quietly. He had tried to make his tone light, to appear that he did not care, but he did. His mind screamed at him not to tell her the rest, that he needed her to think well of him, but once he had started it seemed that he couldn’t stop.
“I beg to differ,” Laura said quietly, leaning closer and kissing him gently on the lips. “Tell me.”
Alfred had not reacted outwardly to the kiss, but inwardly it had given him the confidence to continue. “I went into the offices, offering to pack everything up. I went through every piece of paper that was in that building. I was looking for clues, anything that would lead me to those involved. I found information, although it was well hidden,” he admitted, “but I wasn’t called methodical for nothing.”
“It took months, I entered a world that I had never believed existed before,” he said shaking his head slightly. “I didn’t think I would survive, but somehow I managed. One by one I hit the people who were involved in the forgeries.”
“Did you harm them?” Laura asked.
“Not initially,” Alfred replied honestly. “I wasn’t as hardened as I am today. I burnt down houses, offices and factories, making sure there was no one inside first. I thought it would help me feel better, that by getting my own revenge, I could finally put the Kings at rest.”
“And did it help?”
Alfred smiled, but it was a bitter smile. “No, revenge doesn’t, it just brings you down to the level of the person doing wrong doesn’t it? I had become a criminal, just as they were. The reality was that they knew someone was onto them. It only delayed their business, they set it up again in different locations. One time though, I came across the main man, a really powerful, nasty and ruthless individual. He laughed in my face when I told him why I was doing what I’d done, and told me that business was not a place for sentiment.”
“He’d fit in with some of the men I’ve met.” Laura said with feeling.
“So, I pushed away my sentiment and gave him a beating he wouldn’t forget in a hurry.” Alfred continued.
“He deserved it.” Laura said.
“Yes he did, but I’d become as bad as he was,” Alfred said. “I didn’t care what the outcome was as long as I achieved my aim. I wanted him to suffer and I wasn’t prepared to stop. I’d lost my sense of right and wrong.”
“But you did stop.” Laura consoled.
Alfred stood up and walked a few steps away from Laura. “I was stopped, I was going to kill him.” he said, turning his back to Laura. He could not face to see the rejection in her eyes.
“What stopped you?” Laura asked, her mind racing over the information she had been given.
“I didn’t know at the time, but the Bow Street Officers were also onto the trail of the gang. They had been following me as well, I thought I was so good and yet I’d been followed for weeks. They knew exactly what I’d been doing. My now boss, Mr Frost was there. If he hadn’t intervened, I would have killed a man that day and swung for it.” Alfred said. He will never forget the expression in Mr Frost’s eyes as he had spoken to Alfred.
Alfred had been held back by the Bow Street Officers and he had struggled, trying to finish the job he had started. Mr Frost had approached him and took hold of Alfred’s shoulders. “My officers are going to let you go,” he had said in his usual quiet voice. “You have two choices, finish the job you came here to do tonight and hang, or repay Mr King’s faith in you and let this man go to trial and hang for his crimes. We have enough evidence, built up over months. I’m sorry it wasn’t in time to save the King family, but we can only make choices about the future, we cannot influence the past. I can see the type of man you were and can be again. You have a choice to make about your future, but it’s up to you, no one else can do it for you, it has been your crusade.” He had stepped away from Alfred, and indicated that the officers should release the captive. Alfred had shaken himself in anger, ready to finish the task. Then he paused as the words sank in, and he looked at the Bow Street Officer. There was nothing but compassion in his eyes, he might not condone what Alfred wanted to do, but he understood. Alfred sighed, swinging for killing a man would not achieve anything, and he had relaxed slightly as the anger eased.
Mr Frost had seen the change as soon as it began, and indicated that his officers should make the arrest and take the offender away. Alfred watched the scene, almost dispassionately, it was as if he had not been a part of the evening. Mr Frost approached Alfred once the area was clear.
“You made the right decision tonight, young man.” he said gently.
“I must be a coward.” Alfred had responded bitterly.
“You are a bigger man for realising your action was wrong and responding to that. Don’t ever consider yourself a coward. You did what was right, and that is harder than acting in the heat of the moment. What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know sir.” Alfred had responded truthfully. He had been so focused on getting revenge that he had not considered his future at all.
“Come and see me tomorrow,” Mr Frost had said. “We could use an officer like you.”
“What, one who considers killing criminals?” Alfred had asked sarcastically.
“One who finds out the truth and works to bring the perpetrators to justice. I won’t lie to you, there may come a time when you need to be able to kill, but we need people who won’t give up when the job is difficult.” Mr Frost had explained.
Alfred’s life had changed from that moment. He had gone to visit Mr Frost and undergone training. He had repaid his employer’s faith by being an efficient and diligent officer.
Laura interrupted Alfred’s thoughts. “Well for whatever the reason was that you did, I’m certainly glad you stopped.” Alfred would probably never know how heartfelt those words were.
“Just remember though Laura, that you are mistaken when you think I am a decent human being.” Alfred said, still facing away from her.
Laura came around and stood in front of Alfred. “You reacted to your whole family being killed,” she said, holding her hand up to stop Alfred interrupting. “They were your family in everything but name. You had been with them since you were a child. Of course you wanted revenge. It’s to your credit.”
“The ability to kill is never to anyone’s credit.” Alfred said.
“You have paid for your lapse,” Laura insisted. “I’m not saying that you are an angel, anyone living and working in the areas that we know and live in could not survive if they were too good, but you are a decent human being, with principles and I for one am glad to know you.”
Alfred was touched at her words. Only Mr Frost and Mr King had seen the potential in him previously, he was a little intense for most females that he had come across. The type of women who lived in his neighbourhood wanted a man who they were used to, worked, who got drunk, and had their fill of their woman when they wanted it. They did not want someone who believed and longed for a family and improving themselves. He shrugged his shoulders, outwardly trying to dismiss the compliment, but inwardly treasuring her words.
�
�Come on, let’s return to the house.” he said gruffly, but he offered his arm, an action he had previously refrained from doing. He had not wanted to cause speculation between the people they had just met. Laura’s life was complicated enough, but today, after revealing what he had, he needed to feel close to her.
Chapter 12
Martha had noticed the relationship that existed between Laura and Alfred. She had wondered if they had known each other before, or if the country air and the freedom they had was leading to deeper feelings developing. It was obvious that the three weeks which had passed had changed the pair. Both had gained colour, which was the result of spending much of their day outside, but their features had relaxed. Each looked younger as a consequence. Alfred smiled more than he had at the beginning and Martha noticed that he often looked at Laura with a kind of longing that she recognised; that of someone looking at something they could not have, but wanted it nonetheless.
Martha liked Laura, she was feisty and funny, but she was also warm hearted and a little bit vulnerable, especially about the impending birth. Ever practical Martha decided that it was time to start to make arrangements for the baby, which was reason why she had accompanied the party after all.
She entered Laura’s bed chamber one afternoon when the weather had prevented Laura and Alfred venturing out on their daily excursions. Laura was sat on the chaise longue, with her feet up, reading a book.
“I’ve taken the liberty of ordering refreshments,” Martha started. “I thought it would be good to have a chat without Alfred and Charles chipping in.”
“That’s nice, although I have never eaten as much as I have since I arrived here.” Laura said, sitting up more and swinging her feet off the cushions, so Martha could sit down.
“You look all the better for it.” Martha replied honestly. Laura’s cheeks were fuller and her skin glowed, partly because of the sunshine and exercise she was getting, partly because of the good quality food. Her hair, never tightly restrained, glistened whenever the light caught it.
“That’s a polite way of saying I have put on weight,” Laura laughed. “I hope after the baby is born that all the weight disappears and I go back to how I felt before.”
Martha waited until the refreshment tray had been delivered before responding. “I need to speak to you about the baby’s arrival.” she started gently.
“I keep trying to ignore it.” Laura said with a groan. It was true, she was. As much as she had wanted this baby, after the last few weeks she had half regretted her actions. Her relationship with Alfred was such that she was sure that if she had not been pregnant, they would be more than the friends they were now. Although, she had to admit, it was only because of the baby that she had so much support. The result was that her emotions were constantly up and down, one moment happy with the way things were, one moment desperate for things to be different.
“Well from the looks of things, it won’t be very long before you can’t ignore it, whether you want to or not,” Martha responded with a smile. “How long do you think you have left?”
“I know exactly. Six weeks.” Laura said with authority.
Martha was surprised that Laura could be so definite. “Are you sure? Lady Dunham knew roughly, but could not be completely sure.”
Laura smiled at the memory. “I know the exact date this happened,” she said firmly. “My trade is such that babies can be prevented, they need to be, or we wouldn’t be a lot of use for most of the time.” she said in her matter of fact way.
Martha flushed a little in embarrassment, she obviously knew Laura’s background, but speaking so openly about it, was embarrassing to someone who although older, was far more innocent. “I see.” she replied.
“I’ve shocked you, I’m sorry,” Laura said. “I shouldn’t be so coarse.”
“Don’t be silly,” Martha said, recollecting herself. “You should be exactly how you want to be, anything else would just make you miserable. I saw that when Lady Dunham had a season in London, it just wasn’t her, and she was very unhappy. If you don’t mind me asking, if you know how to prevent babies, why are you increasing now?”
Laura smiled sadly. “I am going to shock you again, Martha. I wanted this baby, so I purposely did not use the prevention methods I ought to have done. Go on, think badly of me, bringing a child into the world without any hope of support from the father.”
“Did you love the father?” Martha asked, curious to find out the story behind the woman. It was obvious her pre-conceived ideas were wrong.
“Yes, and still do,” Laura answered honestly. “I will do until my dying day, more fool me.”
“Would he not support you, even if he was not in a position to marry you?” Martha asked.
Laura laughed. “Martha, you must believe these romance novels that the gentry read,” she said, tapping her hand on the book on the table next to the chaise longue. “In real life women who work as I did never marry and have a family. Which man would want a wife with a background like mine?”
“But that shouldn’t prevent him from supporting his child.” Martha insisted, indignant for the unborn baby.
“He doesn’t know about it,” Laura said simply. “And if he did, he wouldn’t believe that it was his. Alfred confirmed that would be the case, if I ever had any doubts.”
“How so?” Martha asked.
“Alfred said that if he had been with a woman of the night, he would never believe that he was the father of her child, even if she later declared that he was.” Laura said, a mixture of pain and sadness in her voice. She looked away from Martha, blinking back the moisture that had appeared in her eyes.
Martha frowned, it was a harsh response from the normally quiet, gentle Alfred. Perhaps she had been mistaken when she had thought he was so considerate. It seemed like an unusually unfeeling comment.
“So it is me and the baby,” Laura said, rousing herself. “I don’t intend going back to what I did before. I will hopefully get a position that accepts the child.”
Martha did not know if Laura would ever find such a position. Most households did not want the encumbrance of children attached to staff, it was a diversion from work. She was hopeful though that Lord and Lady Halkyn would find something for her friend, Laura should not be left to fend for herself.
“Well we have to arrange with the local nurse to attend you at the appropriate time. I was there at Lady Dunham’s confinement, but I’m no expert.” Martha said.
“That makes two of us,” Laura responded with a smile. “When do I need to make arrangements to leave after the birth?” She knew that she would have to make her own way and she needed to know when that would be.
“There is no hurry. We have no idea when Lord and Lady Halkyn will be returning to their property, and I would imagine they would want to see you, so there is no point making any plans at the moment.” Martha assured her.
“You must want to return to your position.” Laura said. She knew that Martha had only travelled because of the need of a woman in the party.
“I was reluctant to come along, I admit,” Martha said truthfully, “but Lord and Lady Dunham are on an extended visit to their family in London, so I may as well enjoy the change. I come from the north and although I am not from Yorkshire, it has so many similarities to my home that I feel as if I am returning to my homeland. ”
“Are your family still in the north?” Laura asked.
“One of my brothers is in the Navy,” Martha said with pride. “The youngest boy has been apprenticed as a clerk in Liverpool and my eldest brother manages the family estate, although it is a lot smaller than it used to be.” Martha was in touch with Thomas regularly, his letters keeping Martha up to date with local news. He had married a gentile lady, who had a small fortune, not enough to make the financial worries disappear completely, but enough to make him able to relax a little.
“Do you have any sisters?” Laura asked.
“Yes, one younger,” Martha said. She was disappointed that her s
ister had never had the opportunity for a season, at least Martha had the one to look back on with happy memories. She loved to dance and very often imagined herself back in the local Assembly Rooms, taking part in a Cotillion or a Quadrille. “She is a governess to a local family, which is helpful to Thomas, as she can go home on her day off and help care for our mother.” Poor Susan had been condemned to a life that had little hope of changing. If she was always caring for others, she would never have the opportunity to meet anyone who would consider marrying a girl without fortune.
“I never had a family,” Laura said. “It must be nice to know that if you were ever in trouble, they would be there to help.”
“It is,” Martha responded. It was true that she loved and cherished her family, but how her life could have been different if only her father had not lived life to excess. “Although families can be a burden as well,” she added thoughtfully. “Right, this isn’t getting anything done, I shall leave you to your book and send a letter to the nurse, preparing her for our call when the time comes.”
Martha stood up and left Laura’s room. She returned to her own bed chamber pondering over what Laura had said. Perhaps the baby was a way of creating her own family? Although that brought its own problems in itself. She was thoughtful as she wrote the letter to the local nurse and sought Charles out to ensure it was sent out with the other letters of business.
A sort of truce had developed between Martha and Charles. Martha had wanted to maintain the level of animosity that existed between them when they resided at Dunham House, but she found that she could not in her current location. In Dunham House they were mainly apart, both having full jobs to attend to. In Yorkshire though, neither had as much of a demand on their time and so the contact between them was increased. Martha was not usually an antagonistic person, and she did not have the energy or the inclination to carry on a feud.
Charles had noticed the change in his opponent, but had not overly rejoiced in it. He was so afraid of relations returning to how they had been that he was usually on edge around Martha, in case he said, or did something wrong. He did not understand how he had got into this position, he was usually so competent in every aspect of his life, and admittedly he did not have much experience around women. He thought that the problem was that he had been attracted to Martha when he had first met her and had acted like a youth just out of the schoolroom, and instead of flattering her, like any man with sense would have done, he had insulted her. He had let his own insecurity influence his behaviour. His pleasure in shaking her composure was short lived, especially when the consequences were that she developed a real dislike of him. Inwardly, he kicked himself, every time she glowered at him, as only Martha Fairfield could do.
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