by Wilder, L.
He nodded as I walked over towards the creek, and when I thought I was out of earshot, I answered, “Hello?”
“Hey, Reece. Its Janice.” My stomach twisted into a knot when I heard Tate crying in the background. “I’m really sorry to bother you, but Tate just had an accident.”
“What kind of accident?”
“Well, he was … um … running after his little rubber ball when he tripped over his shoe. He stumbled and hit his head on the corner of the coffee table.” I could hear the panic in her voice as she continued, “I tried to stop the bleeding, but it just won’t stop. I was going to call your mother and see if she could meet me at the ER, but I wanted to check in with you first.”
“Yes. Call her, and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“Do you want me to wait for you to get here, or should I go on to the hospital?”
I was in no position to tell her to wait, so I answered, “Go on and take him. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” Her voice trembled with worry as she said, “I’m really sorry about this.”
“It was an accident, Janice. Please don’t worry and be careful driving to the hospital.”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
After I hung up, I put my phone back in my pocket, and as I headed over to Jackson, he asked, “Is everything okay?”
“No. No, it’s not.” My voice trembled as I told him, “I’m really sorry, but … um … something’s come up, and I’ve got to go. Like now.”
“What do you mean ‘something’s come up’?” he pushed.
“I don’t have time to explain, Jackson.” I sounded like I was on the brink of becoming hysterical as I pleaded, “I just really need to get over to the hospital.”
“Okay. I’ll take you wherever you need to be.”
“Thank you.”
Without taking the time to clean up our mess, he got up and walked over to the horses. I could see the concern in his eyes as he brought Lacey over to me. I was overcome with guilt and worry. My son needed me, and I was off making my life even more complicated than it already was. Sensing my unease, Jackson assured me, “I’ll get you back to town as soon as I can.”
With that, we got back on the horses and raced back to his motorcycle. After helping him put the horses back in the stalls, I put on my helmet and waited for him to start the engine. When he pulled out onto the road, he asked, “Are we headed back to the clubhouse for your car, or do you need me to take you straight to the hospital?”
Knowing it would take an extra half hour to go by the clubhouse, I replied, “To the hospital. It’s the one over on Popular.”
He gave me a quick nod before turning his attention back to the road. With a roll of the throttle, he started speeding towards the hospital, and ten minutes later, we pulled up to the main doors of the emergency room. Jackson waited as I got off the bike and handed him the helmet. I needed to tell him something, but I had no idea what. Feeling overwhelmed by it all, I simply said, “Thank you for this.”
“No problem.” He looked towards the door as he asked, “Do you want me to go inside with you?”
“No!” I snapped. “Um … that’s really not necessary. It will be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” As I turned to go, I looked back to him and said, “I’ll come by and get my car later tonight or in the morning.”
He nodded, then watched as I rushed inside. My nerves were completely shot as I hurried over to the counter and asked, “Can you tell me where I can find Tate Winters? I’m his mother.”
After typing something on her computer, she looked up to me and answered, “They’ve already taken him back. He’s in room three.” She pointed to the two main doors at the end of the hall as she instructed, “Just go over and press the big red button. Once the nurse lets you in, it will be the second room on the left.”
“Thank you.”
My mind was reeling as I rushed over to the ER entrance and pressed the button. Once the doors opened, I took in a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to settle my nerves as I headed towards the exam room. I hadn’t made it far when I heard my mother’s high-pitched-baby-talking voice coming from the room across the hall. I walked in and found her standing in a small room with Tate cradled in her arms. He had a large white bandage on his forehead. Barely holding it together as it was, I completely lost it when I noticed that his little onesie was covered in blood. “Oh, my God.”
My mother quickly turned and gave me a scolding look as she mouthed, “He’s fine.”
I tried to keep myself from crying. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” She turned her focus towards Tate as she smiled and said, “Look who’s here, sweet boy. It’s your momma.”
As soon as he saw me, he reached out for me and said, “My momma.”
“That’s right. Your momma is here.” I took him in my arms, and he nestled his little head on my shoulder as I held him close to my chest, hugging him tightly. “Bless your sweet, little heart. I’m sorry you got a booboo.”
“Janice said he tripped and hit his head on the coffee table.”
“I know. I should’ve gotten rid of that stupid coffee table months ago.”
“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself. It was just an accident. Lord knows, you had plenty of them when you were a kid,” Mom assured me.
“Where is Janice?”
“Poor thing was pretty shaken up, so I sent her home.”
“I’m sure she was.”
Mom ran her hand down Tate’s back as she explained, “The doctor just left. They put in a couple of stitches, and he’s just fine.”
“Stitches? Was it really that bad?”
“Yeah. It was a pretty deep cut, and the stitches will help keep it from scarring.”
I hated that I wasn’t there for him, especially for his first big accident. My heart ached as I walked over and sat down in one of the rockers. I propped Tate up on my knee as I said, “I love you, sweetie. I’m so sorry you bumped your head.”
As I kissed him on his rosy, little cheek, my mother asked, “Where were you anyway?”
“I had this thing I needed to do for work.” I lied.
I could tell from the expression on her face that she was about to press me for more, but before she could ask anything, Jackson appeared in the doorway. He looked at me in utter shock as he asked, “Reece?”
“Jackson?” I gasped. “What are you doing here?”
He took a step towards me, and as he looked down at Tate, he said, “I didn’t want to leave until I knew everything was okay.”
“Jackson?” My mother asked with surprise. Her eyebrows furrowed as she studied him for a moment, and then it hit her. “Oh … Jackson.”
“Yes, Mom. You’ve heard me mention him before.” I motioned my hand towards my mother as I said, “Jackson, this is my mother, Lauren Winters.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Winters.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Jackson.” Her cheeks flushed red as she mumbled, “I’m … um … I’ll give you two a moment. I’ll be down at the cafeteria if you need me.”
Once she was gone, Jackson walked over to me and asked, “What’s going on, Reece? Who’s the kid?”
I almost laughed at the question. I’d spent months imagining how I would tell Jackson about his son, but I never dreamed it would come out like this. It was almost comical to think that some random accident had brought my secret to light. As I sat there staring at Jackson, I was actually relieved. For so long, I had been on my own. I had made the sacrifices for our child. I’d put my hopes and dreams aside so I could give him the life he deserved. I was tired—tired of keeping secrets and pretending that I didn’t need Jackson’s help. I was done pretending, done being a single parent. Be it good or bad, I was ready to say the words. I just prayed that Jackson was ready to hear them. I looked down at my precious son and smiled as I said, “This is T
ate. He’s my son … He’s our son.”
11
Riggs
Surprise wasn’t something I handled well. I was a guy who liked to be in the know. I wanted to be prepared for anything and everything, and I’d go to extremes to make sure that I was never caught off guard. Maybe it was because of my line of work, or maybe it was engrained in me as a kid, but I was like that with every aspect of my life. So, needless to say, hearing that I had a son wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. Some might say I was in shock, but to me, it was more—much more than that. I felt like every molecule of air had been knocked right out me, making my lungs seize up and burn. I struggled to take in a simple breath, like I’d forgotten how to fucking breathe. I was a damn mess, and Reece didn’t look like she was doing much better. She looked up at me, her eyes desperately searching mine, and I could see that she was anxiously waiting for my response. I knew she wasn’t lying. Hell, I could tell just by looking at him that the kid was mine, but I just couldn’t make myself believe that I had a son. The whole thing seemed unfathomable, and the longer I stood there trying to make sense of it, the more confused I became. I knew I should say something, but I couldn’t will my lips to move. I could only stand there and stare at Tate—my son, Tate. Damn.
Just as the silence was becoming unbearable, she finally asked, “Did you hear what I just said?”
“I heard you.”
“Well, aren’t you going to say something? Anything?” she pushed.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have any thoughts at all?”
“What do you want from me, Reece? You expecting me to jump for joy or something? I mean, come on. You’ve kept my son from me for years. How am I supposed to react to that?”
“I wasn’t trying to keep your son from you, Jackson,” she argued.
“Well then, why am I just now finding out that I have a kid!”
“It’s difficult to explain, but … it’s not that I was trying to make things harder.” Her voice quivered as she continued, “I tried calling you. I even went to the clubhouse to find you, but you had already hooked up with someone else. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”
“You were supposed to come to me and tell me that you were pregnant—that you were having my baby. That’s what you were supposed to do!” he barked. “It wasn’t like you didn’t have an opportunity last night!”
“I tried! You know that!”
“Well, you didn’t try hard enough!” I roared. “And just so we’re clear, I wasn’t hooking up with some other woman. You would’ve known that if you’d just asked!”
“Maybe I would’ve asked if you ever returned my calls!”
“Maybe you should’ve …” I started, but quickly stopped. My frustration was bubbling up inside of me, and I was about to lose it, but when I looked down at Tate and saw how he was clinging to his mother and the fearful look in his eyes, a wave of remorse swept over me. Fuck. I’d let my emotions get the best of me, and I’d scared both Tate and Reece. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to wrap my head around all this.”
“I’m really sorry that you had to find out this way,” she whispered as she held Tate close to her chest, “and I know there’s a lot we need to talk about, but this isn’t the time. He’s been through enough tonight.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t even thinking.” I motioned my hand towards the bandage on Tate’s head. “Is he going to be okay?”
“He’ll be fine. He took a little tumble and hit his head on the coffee table.”
“So, it’s nothing serious?”
“No. Not at all.” She gave him a quick kiss on the temple before she said, “The doctor gave him a couple of stitches, and we’re just waiting on him to be released.”
My head was swimming with unanswered questions as I stood there looking at them. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to talk this thing out and get all the facts straight, but Reece was right, it wasn’t the time or the place. So I looked over to her and said, “I’m gonna head out, but this conversation isn’t over.”
“I know that, Jackson. I’ll be ready to talk whenever you are.”
Before I started for the door, I told her, “The sooner the better.”
“Agreed.”
With that, I walked out of the room and headed out to the parking lot. I was in a complete fog as I got on my bike and started the engine, which only got worse as I made my way onto the main road. Even though I’d been right there in the same room with him and had seen the uncanny resemblance between us, I couldn’t believe that I actually had a son. The whole idea was mind boggling, and even after driving around for over two hours, I couldn’t seem to get a grip. I needed someone to talk to, so I headed over to Blaze’s place to see if he was around. Not only was he my best friend, he was the father of the one coolest kids on the planet, Kevin. Together, they’d faced some pretty rough times, especially when Kevin was battling cancer. Even when things were at their worst, Blaze never gave up. He held on to his faith that everything would work out for both of them, and in the end, he was right. After all he’d been through, I was hoping that he could give me some advice on how to handle the shit storm that had become my life.
When I pulled up in his driveway, I was relieved to see that his bike was parked in front of the garage. Knowing he was home, I pulled up to the house and parked then got off my bike and headed up the front porch steps. I hadn’t had a chance to knock when Blaze opened the door and asked, “What’s going on?”
“I got something I need to talk to you about.”
“All right.” He stepped outside, and as he closed the door behind him, he asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Fuck no,” I snapped. “Actually, everything is a big fucking mess, and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do about it.”
“Slow down there, brother, and tell me what the hell you’re talking about.”
“I just found out that Reece got pregnant the night we hooked up.”
“And?”
“And nine months later, she had my kid.”
“Oh, damn.”
“Yep,” I scoffed. “Apparently, I have a son named Tate.”
Blaze smiled wide as he replied, “Well, congratulations, brother. That’s awesome.”
“How is that awesome, Blaze? It’s been over two and a half years since we hooked up. That makes the kid almost twenty-two months old, and I’ve never laid eyes on him before. I wasn’t there when he was born. I wasn’t there when he learned to crawl … when he learned to walk, or even when he said his first fucking words. I’ve missed out on all of that, and for what reason? It was too hard for her to tell me? How fucked up is that?”
With little to no emotion, he answered, “I’ll admit that it sucks, but at least she finally told you.”
“That’s just it. She didn’t tell me shit,” I barked.
“What are you talking about?”
“There was an accident, and Tate had to be taken to the hospital. Reece and I were together, so I ended up taking her to the ER. That’s when I saw him for the first time. If I hadn’t gone in to check on things, who knows when she would’ve told me.”
“She didn’t seem like the kind of girl who’d keep something like that from you. If it was my guess, I’d say that’s why she came to the club looking for you a couple of months ago.”
“Yeah. She may have mentioned that.”
“Hell, maybe that’s why she came last night.”
When I’d taken Reece back to my room, I remembered her telling me that she needed to talk to me about something; instead, I told her it could wait. Jesus, I had no fucking idea that she was going to tell me we had a son. I should’ve listened, and that was on me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of it, so I replied, “Maybe.”
“And didn’t you say she’d tried calling you or something?”
“She did, but still. It just doesn’t make it right. I’ve lost so much time with him.”
“I know you’ve
missed out on a lot, but you have his whole future ahead of you. There’s still plenty of time for you to be the kind of father you want to be.”
I sat down on the steps and sighed. “You know, I still don’t get it. I have no idea how she got pregnant.”
“Oh, really? You need me to explain the birds and the bees to ya, brother,” he taunted.
“No, smartass,” I grumbled. “We were careful. I used protection.”
“I don’t know, brother. Those things are only ninety-six percent effective or something like that. Or maybe the damn thing was defective.”
“Well, they should tell people that shit.”
Blaze chuckled then said, “They do. It’s on the fucking box, but it doesn’t really matter now. You and Reece have a son, and you’re gonna have to figure out what you want to do about it.”
“I want to be his dad.”
“And Reece? What about her?” Blaze pushed.
“I don’t know. I can’t decide if I’m angry as hell or disappointed, or if I’m heartbroken or totally fucking insane, but I do know one thing—” I ran my hand over my face as I sighed. “We haven’t known each other long, and this may sound crazy, but I’ve never wanted anyone like I want her. She is the most beautiful, smartest, terrifyingly incredible woman I’ve ever met.”
“That’s good. Really good. So, when you think about your future, do you see her in it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then, that’s all you need to know. The rest will fall into place.”
“Something tells me it isn’t going to be that easy.”
“Never said it would be easy, Riggs.” Blaze smiled as he patted me on the shoulder. “Raising a kid will be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, but I promise you this … having that little boy in your life will be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
As I stood up, I looked over to him and asked, “You got a computer I can borrow?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I have an address that I need to look up.”
A half hour later, I was back on my bike and headed towards Reece’s apartment. I had no idea what I was going to do or say when I got there. I just knew I had to see her, to talk to her and set things straight between us. While I wasn’t exactly happy with the way things played out, I needed her to know that I wanted to be a part of my son’s life—and hers. When I got over to her place, I was glad to see that it looked relatively safe. There was a gate at the main entrance, and the complex was using one of the better security systems to monitor all the different entrances. Since I’d had experience with the system, I didn’t have a problem by-passing the gate code, and in no time, I was parked in front of Reece’s apartment. I walked over to her door, and after I’d knocked, I waited several long, agonizing minutes for Reece to answer. When she finally opened the door, I could see the surprise in her eyes as she asked, “Jackson? What are you doing here?”
