My camera. Swallowing hard, I stared at the black bag she pointed to. I hadn’t thought of it after Grim and Raynor brought me to the cabin, and I always thought of it. Always kept it with me.
“You found me in the plane?”
The doctor nodded. “Yes. Do you remember anything?”
Slowly, I shook my head, a small ache beginning behind my eyes. “I thought… I saw…”
Lifting one smooth eyebrow, Dr. Lamonte waited. “It’s not uncommon for hallucinations to occur when your brain or spinal cord have become inflamed. Not to mention the lack of food and water. You may never know how you survived that time, but the important thing is—you survived. Your family and friends are waiting for you. Your employer is even sending the medivac to bring you home.”
“Home.” I was back to repeating. It was all in my head. A hallucination born out of starvation and dehydration and hitting my head falling from the fucking sky. There was no Grim, or Raynor, or Fenris. I’d made them up.
They were never real.
Chest hurting, I pressed the heel of my hand against it, rubbing roughly. My throat tightened, and I took a deep breath. I couldn’t cry over people who never existed. I couldn’t mourn something that had never happened.
Oh God. But it felt real. It hurt like it was real.
Dr. Lamonte’s eyes caught mine, and I fought for control.
“Emotional dysregulation is common after a brain injury, Betha. Please don’t be embarrassed.”
I nodded quickly, swallowing hard. “When do I leave?”
“Soon as the helicopter lands. There’ll be a doctor on board.”
“Okay,” I whispered, sinking back into the pillow. “Thanks.”
“Take a nap,” the doctor directed. “Let your body heal.”
“Okay,” I repeated, closing my eyes. But it wasn’t my body that needed to heal. It was my heart.
Days passed in a blur. I went home, was admitted to Brigham and Women’s Hospital, met my parents as they wheeled me into my room, let my mother pray over me, and generally imitated a slug.
Jeb turned up at my bedside with a cameraman, taking photos of me while I grimaced and gave a thumbs-up. I was alive. No thanks to him and his cut-rate puddle jumper. There wasn’t much wrong with me, except for having made up three husbands who turned into giants, so there was no reason for me to take up a bed.
I was released from the hospital and went back to my parents’. My apartment had never been more than a way station between assignments, and I didn’t care enough to fight with Ma or Dad about where I should sleep.
That was how I found myself in my old twin bed every night, rehashing details of events that never happened. I lingered over faces which never existed and encounters I’d never had.
I was like Dorothy returned from Oz, alone and having lived through an adventure no one else could understand.
“You’re very mopey,” Ma observed when I joined her and Dad at dinner.
“I’m healing,” I answered.
“You’re a solid girl, Betha.” Stabbing a fork in my direction, her gaze took in my oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants. These weren’t my clothes. They were Dad’s, and the truth was, they weren’t that roomy. “I’m sure you’re fine by now. Your dad and I were discussing it, and it’s time for you to move back into your apartment. Jeb is calling every day—”
“Which you’d know if you answered the phone,” Dad mumbled.
“I’m tired. I need my sleep.” Sleep was the place where my fantasies were the clearest. It got harder and harder to wake up. Their faces were fresh in my mind. Daytime meant the end of fantasies, and the knowledge that I’d made them up.
“You need a job,” Dad reiterated. “To pay your rent.”
“You know what? If you want me to go so bad, why don’t I just leave now?” I retorted, not believing they actually wanted me to leave. They wanted to light a fire under my ass, fine. Admittedly, I had been down, and I’d been here a week, mostly asleep. Certainly not any help.
“Finish eating,” my mother commanded, pointing a fork at the stringy beef sitting in slowly congealing gravy on my plate.
I sat. Bluff called.
“You can leave after dinner.”
14
Raynor
A month had passed, and Betha was finally within reach. We’d done as we’d set out to do: trained tirelessly to challenge the elders.
When we’d finally arrived, ready to both rescue our mother and go to war, we’d been sabotaged.
Entering the village, clad in armor and ice, we’d met the elders. The first elder dropped his form, something I’d never seen, stepping forward in furs and leathers, sword and shield clattering to the ground. The second elder followed, until all ten stood, vulnerable, faces grinning and eyes dancing.
It could have well been a trap; I’d seen how fast the elders moved. One misstep from us could equal death.
Fenris had attacked first, swiping the magical broadsword at their exposed skin. They’d shielded themselves in ice, but merely blocked his advances.
Grim added his magic to the fray, but they blocked his as well, and then, mine.
We’d trained as a unit, and we moved as one. Relentlessly, we attacked, only breaking to allow one of us at a time a second to breathe before redoubling our efforts.
“Enough.” Mor’s voice carried over the cacophony. “Boys. Enough.”
Her voice made me stumble, but Grim was there, stepping in where I allowed myself to be vulnerable. “Mor!” he cried, charging toward her.
None of us had realized then what was happening. Mor had stopped him with a wave of her hand. “Boys. I’m fine.”
Panting, Fenris had approached, protecting Grim’s back.
“Fenris,” she spoke quickly, as if she could tell how tightly wound my brothers and I were, “we wanted you to come here. It was a test of your resolve. No skaoi is won without a battle. A battle you fought, and continue to fight. But it’s over. You’ve won.”
“A trick.” Grim’s voice cut through the air like a knife. “What have they done to you?”
Mor had lashed out with a gust of wind so strong Grim rocked back on his heels. “Nothing. Stop being hard headed and listen. Betha is yours now. She fought for you, and will add her strength to yours. You’ve won her. Go to her. Bring her home. She’ll be welcomed to the Jötnar with open arms.”
It had taken hours of discussion and proof from both the elders and our mother that we weren’t being misled. Eventually, we had come to believe them, and with our mother’s blessing, and her promise to oversee the building of a home for return Betha to, we’d left.
And here we stood. Traffic blared and raced past us. I’d never felt as out of sorts as I did now. Betha lived in a cold, colorless building, taller than any of the few trees lining the street. My brothers and I, despite having changed our clothes to better fit into this place, were still catching sidelong glances and worried stares from other humans. We towered over most of them, which served to entice some and to make others look at us like they would challenge us to battle.
Let them. Nothing would stand between me and Betha.
Except the doors, which were locked.
“Kick it in,” Grim suggested. “It’s only glass. I can feel her inside.”
“It would alert the authorities, and I’m not spending my time in a cage when I could be with our skaoi,” Fenris whispered angrily.
I’d fought the elders; I refused to let a locked door stop me. Placing my hand on the handle, I pushed the cold through my skin. The metal cracked, and with one hard tug, the lock snapped and the door opened.
Fenris clapped me on the shoulder before striding past me to the door labeled stairs.
Almost there. I could feel her, the distance between us was closing, the line curling and winding like a ball of wool. We followed it, taking the stairs two and three at a time—the only sound was the echoing in the stairwell of our booted feet and harsh breathing—until only a metal door sep
arated us.
“She’s there.” Grim touched the door with the palm of his hand, fingers splaying against green paint. “What do we do?”
Reaching past him, I curled my hand into a fist and rapped. “We knock.”
15
Betha
The hot chocolate I’d brought to my mouth sloshed over the side of the mug, splattering my shirt and chin. A hard knock on the door made me jump again, and I hissed when the liquid scalded my skin.
“What?” I yelled, sure it was Jeb, come again to harass me into returning to the paper. I wasn’t interested. I had a little bit of savings, and I was fast going through it while I decided what to do with the rest of my life.
One thing was for sure; it wasn’t working for Jeb.
Slamming the mug onto the counter, I stomped to the door. “I’m not interested, Je—” The words died on my lips, and I stumbled backward, pressing a hand to my forehead.
This was it. I’d lost my mind, or had a stroke, because there were my husbands. The ones I’d made up. The ones I’d been yearning for so desperately, but who never existed.
I bumped against the closet door, hitting my head against the hook hanging from the top.
“Careful!” Raynor said, quickly stepping inside. The three men crowded around me.
But how could they? They were pretend. One-by-one, I placed a shaking palm flat on their chests. Raynor. Grim. Fenris.
They were hard. Substantial. My hand did not go through their chests like they were ghosts or mist.
“You’re real,” I squeaked.
Exchanging a look, they covered my hand with theirs. Fenris moved his to either side of my face. “Betha.” He let out a breath and touched his forehead to mine. My fingers curled into the twins’ shirts, and then we embraced. Tears I’d been holding back since coming to believe I’d never met them poured from my eyes, and the men rained kisses on me. Soothing words flowed from their lips. I could barely hear them over the sobs ripping from my throat, but they were telling me they loved me, missed me. They asked me to come home.
I sucked in a breath, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “When? Now? Can we leave now?”
Nothing kept me here. No job. I could visit my family. They were used to me being gone anyway. I’d tell them I had a job in Canada, and they’d send me on my way and tell me to call.
“Now,” Raynor ground out in his raspy voice. My skin prickled with awareness, images of the last time we were together—it was real!—flashing before my eyes.
“I have to pack. Give me an hour. I can be ready to leave in an hour.” I’d pack a bag, hire a moving company. Have the rest of it boxed and mailed to whatever town was closest to their home. We could hike in and get it. And if there was no place for it, I’d leave it behind. None of it mattered. All that mattered was being together again.
It took longer than an hour to pack with my husbands helping me. Our hands brushed over each other’s, and we’d stop to kiss, embrace, breathe each other in until, finally, we were on our way.
A huge extended cab truck sat parked on the street, and I laughed. “You drove?”
Fenris helped me into the back, climbing in after me then handing the keys to a very unhappy looking Grim. “We did.”
Sliding into the seat next to me, he crowded me against the side of the truck. I stared up at him, reaching up before the door closed. The first touch of his lips against mine was electric. Groaning, I pushed against his chest, climbing into his lap. He wrapped his hard arms around me, rocking me back and forth, urging me to move faster.
A cough from the front seat pulled me up short, but Fenris growled low in his throat.
“Wait until we stop for the night, please.” Raynor sounded as if he could barely get the words out. When I peeked at him, his face was flushed, and both he and Grim were shifting uncomfortably.
“Drive,” I commanded. “And distract me. Tonight can’t come soon enough.” A wave of arousal flooded me. I needed to be with my husbands and reaffirm the connection I’d been mourning all these weeks.
Grim put the truck in gear, pulling onto the street. White-knuckled, he drove through the mid-morning Boston traffic. Their discomfort in the city was obvious, and my heart ached. Each blared horn made them jump, and the times someone jammed on their brakes had Grim’s shoulders around his ears.
Reaching forward, I massaged his shoulders until they dropped, and he sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t like driving here.”
“Want me to drive?” I asked. I hadn’t had a car in years, but I could negotiate Boston like a champ.
“No!” Fenris protested, yanking me back. “I won this seat in battle, and I plan on taking advantage of it until I have to switch with Raynor tomorrow.”
Unbuckling my belt, he slid me across the bench until he could rebelt me in the middle seat. With his arm slung over my shoulders, he drifted his fingers across my chest. Innocently at first, or so I thought, until his middle finger grazed my nipple.
My quick intake of breath had Grim’s eyes flashing to the rearview mirror and narrowing. “Fenris,” he growled.
“Pay attention to the road,” Fenris retorted, his fingers circling the hardening nub until my eyes rolled back in my head.
Heat roiled in my center, and I heard the deep inhalations of the twins. Fenris’s fingers crept across my knee and up my thigh, pushing my blouse out of the way to unbutton my jeans.
“Hey!” I whispered, but a second later, long fingers delved between my folds and I arched forward to give him more room. I braced myself, one hand on his thigh, the other on the seat next to me and rocked back and forth, in time with his hand.
Hot skin pressed against my core. Fenris’s fingers thrust inside me, over and over. He took his hand from my breast, and I mewled in distress.
He shimmied my pants over my hips, and forced my legs apart so I was splayed wide open. When I realized what he was doing, I reached to stop him. “Fenris!” I gasped, eyes flicking in panic to Grim and Raynor.
I shouldn’t have worried. Raynor had covered his lap with a coat, but beneath it, I saw the movement of his hand as he turned in the seat, eyes glued to his brother’s hand and my core, exposed for everyone to see.
Everyone!
“Fenris!” I cried. “We’re in traffic!”
His breath warmed my skin, tickling my ear. “Windows are tinted. No one is seeing inside here.”
Blue eyes burned mine in the rearview mirror, and from my position, I could see Grim’s profile. One hand remained on the steering wheel, but the other was in his lap, slowly rubbing his hardened length. His eyes flicked between the mirror and the road, and a muscle jumped in his jaw when Fenris speared me with two thick fingers.
I cried out, throwing my head back. No longer did I care if I made noise or if anyone knew what we were doing. Sensation and desire engulfed me, and I rode his hand, covering it with my own to press the heel of his hand harder against my clit.
“More,” I somehow got out. I reached for him, shoving my hand beneath his jeans so I could grip him in a tight fist to work his length.
Fenris hissed, jerking his hips back then toward me, breath coming fast. He pushed his fingers inside me, adding a third, pumping with hard, shallow thrusts.
“Like that?” he asked me. “I can feel you all over my hand.”
Oh God. His words were enough to put me over the edge. I cried out, heard Grim and Raynor echo me, and then Fenris came. Groaning long and low, his release covered my hand. I let my head fall to his shoulder and sucked in a breath when he pulled his fingers from me. I glanced at him in time to see him licking his fingers, eyes closed blissfully.
“Drive faster,” Raynor commanded. His blue eyes blazed, lasered on my core. I closed my legs slowly, embarrassed, but he shook his head. “Don’t hide from us, Betha. You’re the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen.”
My face heated, but I nodded. We’d only made it to Worchester. This was going to be a long day.
By the time
we crossed the border into Canada and found a campsite, all of us had had it with the cramped truck cab. The twins jumped out first, opened the back doors and reached for me. I took their hands, letting them pull me into their embrace while Fenris crawled out behind me.
“Should have asked the elders if they could magic us to Boston and back,” Grim muttered, pushing my hair away from my neck to kiss me gently.
On my other side, Raynor mimicked his action, but without the commentary. His lips were cool against my skin, teeth dragging against the cord of my neck.
“Tents,” Fenris directed, and I jumped when he dropped the hatch.
With a last kiss, the twins left me. I stretched my arms over my head, exploring the site they’d chosen. We were in Quebec, and according to my husbands, if we continued at twelve hours a day, we'd have three more full day of travel. The drive had been spent alternatively talking about the future and what had happened to us.
I could hardly believe the elders and their mother had worked so hard to trick us. Angrily, I kicked a rock, watching it bounce across the sandy ground and into a tree. In its wake trailed a line of frost, and I gasped. My skin tingled, and I flexed my hands. There had been no magic without my husbands. Not a spark.
The truck started, and I whipped around. From the passenger seat, Raynor winked and waved before the truck disappeared around a curve.
“What's going on?” I asked, jogging to Fenris who was unzipping the tent.
He linked his arms around my waist and smiled. “They’re giving us a little time.”
“Oh,” I breathed, unable to hide my answering smile.
Nudging me toward the tent, he dipped inside and held out his hand. I took it, ducking my head and zipping the flap behind me. Doing so gave me time to breathe and tamp down my nervousness.
His arms were around me, throwing me into the air to land gracelessly on an air mattress. He followed me down, hands on either side of my head, holding his body above mine. My hands dug into his hips, and I urged him onto me, making room for him to rest between my legs. The first press of him against me made me arch my back and rub myself against him like a cat.
The Ice Bride Page 7
