by Ginny Baird
“What has?”
Heat swept from her temples to her toes as she locked on his gaze. “This… us, being here with you. Having you fit in so well with me and Tyler. And, you know what? I’m happy, really happy, for the first time since I don’t know when.”
John swallowed hard and stared at her blankly. This was just what he had worried might happen. She was growing attached, more attached than he was ready for. John had seen the signs before and they’d always sent him running for the hills. He liked Christine, cared about her of course, but this was sounding really heavy. He’d made a hell of a mistake with that kiss when he would have done better to control himself. Now, she thought… Hell, he didn’t even know what she thought. He only knew he didn’t want to think about it. “Yes, well,” he said after a pause. “It’s been pretty terrific getting to know you all too.”
There was an awkward silence during which they heard Ellen’s melodious laughter from the next room. John lifted a bottle of wine from the counter. “I’m going to see if anyone needs a refill,” he said, sounding like he might need one himself.
Christine quickly followed after him, thinking she could use a drink, too.
While the rest of the group seemed oblivious, Christine felt unsettled. She’d practically spilled her guts to John, and he’d basically said—nothing. Even now, he sat apart from her as if something were amiss. Maybe she was letting her insecurities get the best of her. She hadn’t felt close to a man in forever, and hadn’t even kissed anyone since Dan. And now, here she’d gone acting like some giddy teenager engaged in her first crush. She’d probably frightened John a little with her admission, but why wouldn’t he feel good that he’d helped make her happy? She studied him, hands clasped at his knees as he leaned forward with a congenial smile, watching Tyler opening his gifts. Was he avoiding meeting her eyes, or was she imagining it?
Tyler dug into another package, Mason snoozing contentedly at his side. “Nintendo! Oh boy! Thanks, Auntie Ellen. Mommy said I couldn’t have one.”
Ellen shot Christine a look. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Christine said, wishing everything really was okay.
Carlos wrapped his arm around Ellen’s shoulder. “That’s what Aunties are for,” he whispered gruffly, but not quietly enough so the others didn’t hear him.
Ellen grimaced at Christine, but Christine couldn’t tell if it was in apology or because Carlos’s embrace hurt her.
Carlos studied Ellen with concern. “Are you all right?” he asked, lifting his arm. “Is this bothering—?”
“Not much,” she said, snuggling against him in encouragement. “Just a touch of sunburn.”
“Maybe I can help with some cold cream later?” he said softly in her ear.
“Oh!” Ellen responded with delighted surprise. She locked on Carlos’s gaze and blinked. “That would be nice, very nice indeed.”
John leaned forward, lifting a small box from an end table. “Wait,” he told Tyler, who was organizing his gifts. “There’s one more.” He glanced at Christine, his complexion ruddy. “This one’s for the two of you.”
“Thanks,” she said, accepting the package. She felt bad that she hadn’t brought anything for him other than a bottle of wine. But, in light of how skittish he was acting, maybe her omission was for the best. “Ty? You want to do the honors?”
The child grinned and slid the silky ribbon from the gift, peeling back the wrapping. He dug in the box and extracted a tiny toboggan tree ornament. “Look Mommy,” Tyler proclaimed. “It’s a sled! Just like we went on!”
“Just a little something for you to remember Vermont by.”
“Oh how cute,” Ellen chimed in.
Emotion welled in Christine’s throat. Of all the moments they’d shared with John, that was one she’d never forget. “It’s wonderful,” she said softly. “Thank you.”
“John took me and Mommy sledding!” Tyler informed the others.
“So I heard,” Ellen said with a knowing look.
“Does this mean we’ll get a real Christmas tree next year?” Tyler asked.
“Christine doesn’t believe in Christmas trees,” Ellen told Carlos.
“Really?” Carlos asked with surprise.
“That’s not true,” Christine protested. “I just haven’t gone to the trouble these past…” Now, it was her turn to avoid John’s gaze. “… few years.”
“Well…” John clapped his hands together and glanced around. “Maybe next year things will be different.”
The room was silent as all eyes fell on him. John stared first at Carlos and Ellen, then at Tyler and Mason by the tree. Finally, he looked at Christine. “For you, Christine. I meant, for you,” he said, his voice cracking. He stood suddenly, sweat beads dotting his brow. “I’m going to grab some water. Anybody else want a glass?”
“I’ll come help,” Carlos said, getting to his feet.
John leaned into the counter and took a long drink.
“What is it, amigo,” Carlos asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Suddenly, I don’t feel so hot.”
“No joke. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
John gradually met his gaze. “I have, Carlos. The Ghost of Christmas Future, and it’s too much. It’s all too much.”
“What’s too much?”
“This. Old home week. Christine… Tyler… I just can’t do it.”
“Nobody’s asked you to do anything, other than have them to dinner. As I recall, it was your invitation.”
“Her best friend’s here. You know they’ve been talking about me.”
“That’s what best girlfriends do!” Carlos reassured him. “They even weigh the merits of the UPS man, from what I hear.”
John looked Carlos in the eye. “I heard from Mary Stewart.”
“On the personnel committee?”
John nodded. “If I want it, the position’s mine.”
“That’s awesome news. Congratulations.”
“You know what this means. Long hours… extra meetings… Honestly, it’s a good thing Christine and Tyler are going home.”
Carlos cocked his chin. “Sometimes distance doesn’t matter.”
“And sometimes it’s an excellent deterrent,” John said firmly. “Just the right thing, at just the right time, before anyone’s in too deep.”
Carlos shook his head with a disapproving look. “And I thought the only chickens in this house were the ones you served for dinner.”
Chapter Twelve
Christine and Ellen rode in the front of the SUV while Tyler slept soundly in his car seat in back. It had been a full and joyful day for her little boy; Christine was grateful for that at least. She kept her eyes on the road, trying not to think too hard about John’s parting statement. Could she really have made such colossal mistakes that he didn’t ever want to see her or Tyler again?
Ellen checked her lipstick in the driver’s side mirror and fluffed her hair, lost in her own world. “I think the sexy professor’s sweet on you,” she said settling back in her seat. “Maybe next year things will be different…? That sounded promising!”
“You totally misread that, Ellen. I doubt that’s what John meant at all.”
“He’s got the love bug for you, sister,” Ellen stated authoritatively. “The love bug and it shows. That man wants you in his future.”
“That man, as you call him, was only making conversation. Think about it Ellen. I’m in Chicago, he’s in Vermont… Just how is that supposed to work?”
“I used to date a guy in New York.”
“Used to being the operative phrase.”
Ellen folded her arms across her chest. “As a girl who’s got a date tomorrow, I don’t appreciate your pessimism.”
Christine turned toward her, pleased. “Carlos?”
“Isn’t he gorgeous,” Ellen asked with a sigh.
“I guess he’s got a certain appeal,” Christine said noncommittally. “So, where are you two going?”
“Snowmobiling!”
“Seriously?”
“What? It’s not like bungee jumping. Though I’d be up for that too… What do you think? Too much to suggest for a second date?”
“How long are you planning on staying?”
“For the rest of the holiday, and you?”
“Our return flight’s on the twenty-eighth. You know that, you arranged it.”
“Oh right, right. Sorry. I forgot.” Ellen fiddled with her purse, sneaking out her cell to check for messages. “Do you think Carlos has been married before?”
“From what I hear, twice.”
“Third time’s the charm,” Ellen quipped merrily.
“You two just met!”
“I know, I know… Don’t take me so seriously. Heavens!” She frowned, tucking away her cell. “So… When are you seeing John again?”
Christine’s lips took a downward turn as she fought the burn in her heart. “I’m not.”
Ellen reached out and touched her arm. “What happened?”
Christine felt a tear escape her and she stealthily stroked it back, hoping Ellen hadn’t seen. “I should never have gotten involved. I knew from the beginning where things would end.”
“Did John say something to you?” Ellen asked with concern. “When we were leaving, I mean?”
Christine pressed her lips together steeling her emotions.
“Have a nice flight,” she said, battling the sting of her tears.
“Oh Christine, I’m so sorry. I had no idea, hon. Honestly, none. John seemed like such a nice guy. I was hopeful, really hopeful—for the first time in a long while—that you were finally getting your life back.”
Christine collected herself, wiping her cheeks with her coat sleeve. “My life’s in Chicago,” she said with more resolve than she felt.
“I know, and mine is too.” Ellen set her jaw, weighing her own insecurities. “I’m not fooling myself with Carlos. The two of us are old enough to know what the score is. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a little fun while we’ve both got some life left.”
Christine forced a smile. “Oh Ellen, I’d say you’ve got plenty of life left. Maybe even more than Carlos can handle.”
Ellen laughed, the tension in the air lightening. “Thanks,” she said. “I try.”
Later that night, Christine locked herself away in her room, her heart breaking. All night long she’d held it in. Fear started as a gentle roll, cresting the wave of her emotions, the moment John gave her that deer-in-the-headlights look in the kitchen. By the time they were saying good-bye, hope had sunk in the well of silence between them. It wasn’t that they didn’t talk. Discomfort sprung instead from all that went unsaid. There was no discourse on keeping in touch, or John seeing them off to the airport. The holiday had come, then—boom—it was done, just as suddenly as fireworks exploding on the Fourth of July. But here it was Christmas… Christmas… and all its twinkling lights had faded for her, it seemed.
There’d been a time when the whole world had looked promising. She’d had a handsome young officer on her arm and they’d been expecting their first child. Dan had sworn he’d never leave her, but, due to the cruelty of fate, he had. She’d never believed she’d love again, or even meet another guy who’d catch her eye. Now here she was more painfully aware of being alone than she’d ever been.
Christine sank to the carpet, her back to the door, arms folded around her knees. “Oh Dan,” she said, doubling forward with her sobs. “I miss you so much.”
A light rapping came at the door. “Everything okay in there?” It was Ellen from the other side, her voice tinged with worry.
Christine sucked in a breath, her throat raw. “Yes, Ellen!” she called back. “Just fine. Merry Christmas.”
Ellen hesitated before replying, concern clear in her voice. “Merry Christmas. Sleep tight.”
Christine listened to her footsteps fade away, then folded her face in her hands. She’d been acting like a fool. Crushing on a man who lived hundreds of miles away and clearly had no interest in falling in love, much less having a family. She’d been crazy to believe there could be more to her relationship with John than just a simple two-week affair. Maybe it was good that she was heading back to Chicago, where she could put her real world in order and ensure it all made sense. In the meantime, she’d need to put on a brave face for these last few days and make the most of this vacation for little Ty. He was the main reason she came here after all, not to create delusional fantasies about her achieving a happily ever after.
Christine dropped her forehead to her knees and let the tears come quietly, as winds beat against the storm shutters. It was snowing harder now, almost as fiercely as it had on the day they arrived. But nothing could match the chill that settled deep in her soul to ravage her aching heart.
Chapter Thirteen
John fixed his brow in concentration, spreadsheets strewn across the tabletop around him. His printer spewed out more papers as he typed busily at his laptop, ignoring the doorbell the first time it chimed. It rang again and Mason barked. John looked up with a start to find sun streaming in through the windows. He stood wearily and walked to the door. Pulling it open he spied Carlos dressed for the cold. Beyond him, Ellen smiled and waved from a truck loaded with winter fishing gear.
“Carlos!” John said with surprise. “I thought you had a date.”
“I do.” Carlos grinned broadly. “We’re just stopping by to be sure that you won’t join us.”
Mason tried to spring out the door, but John stopped him. “Not today, buddy,” he said to his dog.
“Come on now,” Carlos prodded. “It will be fun.”
John slowly shook his head. “Thanks, but I can think of lots of things I’d rather do than be the third wheel on a fishing expedition.”
Carlos’s jowls sagged with disappointment.
“Besides,” John continued, backing into his house. “I’ve got work to do.”
Carlos leaned forward and grabbed him by the shirtsleeve. “Amigo,” he rasped under his breath. “You don’t understand. I’ve never taken a city woman fishing!”
“Oh, no you don’t…” John chuckled and started closing the door. “You got yourself into this; you get yourself out.”
Carlos stared at him with pleading eyes. “I’ll give you half my catch.”
“Half of nothing is zero. We don’t need our accountant friends to tell us that.”
Carlos stuck his foot in the door before John could close it. “When have I ever not been there for you?”
“Lots!”
“Okay, maybe that’s true. But here’s the chance for you to be the bigger man.”
“Good-bye Carlos,” John said, kicking his foot out of the doorjamb.
John shook his head at Mason as they walked back to the table. “And people say women are complicated.”
Back at Winterhaven, Christine carted the last of their suitcases downstairs.
“I can’t believe we’re really leaving,” she said, glancing around the comfortable space that, in such a little while, already felt like home.
“We’ll miss it here,” Tyler said, holding Jasper close.
Christine smiled tenderly at her son. “At least Santa brought you some Lincoln Logs to take home.”
“Yeah. That’s cool,” he said his face brightening.
Christine gave the house one last perusal. Everything was pretty much in order, other than a few odds and ends. She didn’t really want to put all the things away in the event Ellen might need them. She’d even bought some extra wine when she’d purchased her replacements, thinking Ellen and Carlos might open a few bottles later.
Ellen had called her cousin in London to gently break the news about her blooming affair with Carlos. To her happy surprise, her cousin, by now involved with a handsome Frenchman, was delighted. Carlos was nice enough, she’d stated, just a little too used to taking a walk on the wild side for her taste. Christine sighed, glad that life had a way of working out much of th
e time.
“I guess we’ll let Auntie Ellen do the rest of the picking up.”
“Why isn’t she flying back with us?” Tyler wanted to know.
“Your Auntie Ellen had a few things to take care of,” she said, thinking of Carlos.
About ten miles away, Ellen stood in designer boots perched over a fishing hole cut in the ice. She couldn’t believe she was doing this! Fishing in the wilds of Vermont! It was positively to-die-for adventuresome, particularly with one hot Latino along. His tender ministrations to her scorched skin had worked wonders. While she wasn’t exactly as good as new, she had improved enough to enjoy his attentions—and layer into this bulky coat.
She felt a tug on her line and squealed with delight. “I’ve got one! Carlos, I think I’ve got one!”
“Looks like a big one, too,” he said, stepping up behind her.
The beast tugged harder, threatening to pull her in. “Whoa… oh! Carlos!” she yelped, starting to freak just a little. Maybe it was enormous and had teeth! Ellen wasn’t sure whether they had piranhas up here, but decided now was not the time to find out.
“Hold it steady,” Carlos offered. “Let me help you.”
He sidled up behind her, positioning his legs on either side of hers and wrapping his firm grip around the pole before them. She almost swore she felt his pole pressing up against her backside. She squirmed with excitement, suddenly too hot in her heavy clothing.
“This isn’t working out so badly,” he said in a sexy whisper that nearly melted the ice beneath them. If she weren’t so dearly afraid for her life, she might have found herself turned on. For now, Ellen just hoped to live until lunchtime.
The line yanked forward as they wrestled with their footing. “Do they have sharks up here? Great whites?” Ellen asked. She dug her heels into the slick surface below her, thinking maybe practicality should have trumped fashion just this once.
Carlos settled her hips and bottom against him with one arm, to keep her from sliding, then said in a commanding voice, “We’re going to take that sucker for what he’s worth. You ready?”
