Searching his face I couldn’t believe for one second he’d cheated on me. We were solid as a couple. Weren’t we? A silent conversation happened between us right there at the table and I knew from the fleeting plea in his eyes it was something he had no control over.
Infidelity wasn’t the issue. Wracking my brain while I looked for clues I noted a lack in his usual masculine confidence. Normally Gibson exuded his alpha male trait without even being aware of it. I couldn’t allow myself to think too hard about that because my confidence was easily dented when it came to loving a man like Gibson.
Our mood must have been more overt than we thought because Piper slid her chair back and began putting the plates in a pile on top of hers.
“Leave it, honey. Gibson and I will do it. Go relax in the den we’ll be in there shortly.”
“Actually, I’m pretty tired, Chloe, if you don’t mind I’m going to get an early night. I haven’t been sleeping that well, but I think tonight I just may be able to do that.”
Gibson stood and stepped away from his chair rounded the table and pulled her into a hug. Leaning back he looked at her with affection. “I know it’s really tough for you right now. Tomorrow we’ll get some plans together and at least you’ll be able to form some kind of routine. It’ll help to know what’s coming day to day until you feel more in control of your feelings.”
Seeing the way she had the confidence to sag against his chest was important. It made me understand how clear her dependence was on us and how Gibson’s words had comforted her. Scraping my chair back against the wooden floor I stood and stepped forward. Piper left Gibson’s arms and walked into mine.
Piper squeezed me tightly. I heard her swallow hard before she pulled back and gave me a watery smile. Her mouth quivered as her tears brimmed and in barely a whisper she muttered, “Thank you.” I patted her back, releasing her from my hold as both Gibson and I stood quietly as she left the kitchen.
The second she’d gone Gibson began clearing the table and I placed my hand over his. “No. Later. Whatever it is you have to tell me I want to know now.”
Looking solemnly into my eyes Gibson swallowed, nodded slowly and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he took a deep breath, grabbed my hand tight and led me into the great room. Spinning me slowly into position he sat down gently on the sofa with me.
From the way he’d taken care to make me comfortable I knew the news was bad. His gesture fueled my apprehension. Panic rose in my chest and the only thing that helped me was whatever he had to say was difficult for him.
“Chloe, darlin’ you know how much I love you, right? I’ll never give you cause to question that.” Gibson usually never cared about tact when he had something to say. He’d always been forthright and unfiltered, especially when he was frustrated or angry about something and that was definitely the vibe he was giving me at the time. Instead of reassuring me the way he was struggling to tell me and the way he was treading carefully only made me fear the worse.
Chapter Four
The Moment of Reckoning
Gibson
Any other time staring into Chloe’s beautiful big inky blue eyes would have made me hard. Not that day. I was choked because there was no understanding of how she’d take the news I had to offer. My life’s path appeared to follow a series of flukes and being at that concert and noticing that woman and child in a crowd of almost ten thousand people was obviously meant to be. There was no way around what I had to do so I prayed for support and hoped for the best.
“Darlin’ I have no idea how to tell you this …” She swallowed nervously, and my chest tightened. I realized I was holding my breath and released it slowly. She did the same as I saw her trying to maintain her dignity. It was one of the reasons I loved Chloe she always appeared to accept things in the first instance and think deeper at her leisure. She wasn’t the jump-off-the-deep-end dramatists like most of the women I usually attracted.
“Just say it, Gibson, you’re scaring me,” she snapped, breathing deeper again for control as she fidgeted with her wedding ring.
“Please Chloe…fuck!” I spat back then growled because I didn’t want to say the words I felt would destroy her. I ran my hands through my hair and stared intensely at her while she looked at me and stilled her hands. Then she stayed still and sat staring directly back, waiting to hear what I had to say.
“Last night at the gig I had a visitor.” Breaking eye contact I looked down at my shoes and ran my hand through my hair. Fuck.
“And?” she prompted for me to keep going.
I raised my head and slumped lower beside her. My hand smoothed over the silky skin on her shoulder and I placed a small kiss there. I reached for her hand and smoothed my thumb over her tiny knuckles in a soothing gesture.
“A woman in the audience caught my eye—” Chloe immediately pulled her hand out of mine and turned to stand but I caught her around her waist and held her down beside me. I couldn’t take it if she’d rejected me. “No, Chloe I didn’t cheat. That’s not what this is. I think you know me better than that.”
“Did Morgan come to see you? Was it her?” Morgan was the one woman who almost rocked the boat for us. She’d been my friend before I got with Chloe but she turned out to be a piece of work. For a long time I didn’t twig but dropped her like a stone after I saw the games she played around my girl.
“It has nothing to do with Morgan. I know how you feel about her. I’d never let her interfere with us in any way.” She continued to look at me with a worried expression and it had been hard enough trying to think of how to break the news to her, but with her right there in front of me it felt like the last thing in the world I wanted to tell her. Seconds passed where I felt the weight of my news until I took a deep breath and held her hands.
“Listen, I’ve been thinking about this all night and for most of the day before I got here and there’s no easy way to say what I have to tell you, darlin’. I wish with my whole heart there was so I figure the best thing I can do is be honest. I’m just gonna string it out there for you and we’ll take it from there, but remember how much I love you.”
Chloe tensed in my arms like she was bracing herself and turned her head away from me. “Last night I found out I’m a dad,” I said in a flat tone like it would somehow lessen the impact of my words.
Turning her face to look at me her eyes met mine. Instantly the light left them as an expression of total destruction washed over her face. Watching the effect of my words was soul destroying as her body instantly compressed several inches in defeat and I saw the vein in her neck pulse rapidly. She was in shock.
“A…a dad? You’re a father?” she repeated in a small hurt voice. Averting her gaze she stared up at the mountain tops and twilight sky from the huge bank of windows and sat motionless. Tears glistened and my heart cracked in two. A dim light in the room came from the fire in the fireplace and usually, I loved to watch her by the glow of the fire but not with the wounded look she had in her eyes.
Quietly I sat as she absorbed what I’d said and held on desperately to the fact we loved each other. I had no doubts we’d get through the situation, but I didn’t expect our future to be easy. My faith in Chloe was strong and I was confident she’d eventually deal with the situation neither of us could change, with grace.
After a few moments her fingertips moved to her temples as she drew small circles on her skin and still I waited as the rest of her body language displayed her struggle to assimilate the information I’d given her.
When she’d gathered her thoughts, she turned her head to look at me. The pain in her eyes told me my news had cut her to the bone. Bravely she straightened her back and swallowed awkwardly fighting back tears. When she looked up at me her normally bright eyes were red rimmed but she offered me a sad smile.
“Congratulations,” she whispered as her lips quivered before she leaned forward and pressed them to mine. Her humility wasn’t the response I’d expected, but I wasn’t surprized. It was Chl
oe’s way to push aside her own feelings to consider mine at a time when the news I had given another woman a child must have been killing her.
“I’m sorr—” before I could apologize she pressed her soft fingertips to my dry lips to silence me. I was distracted by a lump in my throat at how easy she was making it for me.
“Please, don’t do that, Gibson. I ... it’s okay. I’m okay. This was just … unexpected.” She swallowed roughly a couple of times like she was choking back tears. “I’ll do better, I just need some time,” she said bravely as tears began to flow despite her reassurance. One fell from her lashes and I had no hesitation in kissing it from her cheek in an automatic reaction.
In that moment my chest tightened so much I thought I’d never breathe again. I’d blown up her world as she knew it and I’d have done anything not to hurt her.
“Boy or girl?”
“A girl.”
Chloe smiled sadly and nodded, as fresh tears fell when I answered. She’d always wanted a girl.
This was heartbreaking to watch. I’d had the previous twenty-four hours to think about this and my head was reeling from the news, along with the impromptu introduction to my daughter. It had still felt unreal that I had little girl who had been on this Earth for the previous six and a half years and I’d had no idea.
Jonny my driver, pilot, bodyguard, was one of my closest friends. I had spoken to him before he’d flown me back home to Colorado the morning after the gig. I’d had time to think although my mind was set on replay to the brief meeting with the little girl I fell in love with as soon as she had spoken. Her voice was cute—lyrical, and her name was perfect. Melody.
For as long as I live I’ll never forget the moment I walked into that room and her little bright inquisitive eyes connected with mine. A wide beaming smile spread over her face in instant recognition of me and my heart immediately opened to her.
“My mommy said you sing really well and she was right. She says I take after you with my music.” She’d said. Despite the fact there had been no formal introduction to me as her dad she had spoken to me with the same confidence my mom had instilled in me.
“What’s your name precious?” I asked, gently.
“Melody,” she responded confidently and my heart caught in my throat. She was perfect and she took my breath away.
“Well Melody thank you for your kind praise for my singing, sweetheart. It means the world to me.” I instantly loved her.
“That’s okay, I’m not making it up. If you stank I’d tell you.” Her comment made me chuckle and I glanced at her mom who was watching Melody with pride.
“You think I can ask Len my drummer to show you how to strike a beat while I talk with your mom a little?”
“Sure. I play the drums in school sometimes, but guitar is my favorite instrument.” I called Len to come in and asked him to take her on stage for five minutes while I spoke to her mom.
“I wish you’d told me,” I said to Kiran after Len had closed the door.
“And I’d have been thought of as another hoax until my name had been dragged through the mud. You think I’d have wanted that for her? It was bad enough I behaved the way I did with you that night and I’ve gone over it a thousand times in my head why I did. I’d never thrown myself at any man the way I did with you. I must have lost my mind. For I don’t know how long afterward I hated myself.”
I felt ashamed because she probably would have been shunned and she’d made it sound like she was really a nice girl. I didn’t recognize her mother but before I met Chloe I was a dog. It was only when she told me where we’d met a fleeting hazy memory formed in my mind. Fortunately Lennox had taken Melody to see the instruments on stage during that part of the conversation.
Kiran was a stripper and I’d never have met her if Len and the boys in M3rCy hadn’t dragged me to a strip joint that night. I was fully tanked on gin, she was hot for me, and the rest is history.
She’d had never sought me out for child support and had been taking care of Melody all by herself, and said she had no intention of hitting me up for anything apart from the chance for Melody to know who her father was as she’d become more inquisitive over the previous year.
As our conversation went on Kiran told me Melody was showing the same aptitude for musical knowledge that I had and when she saw I was playing close to home she figured it was the one chance Melody may have to know her father.
Kiran went on to tell me she’d taken the job after she and her mom had been evicted by a rogue landlord. They’d been sleeping in Kiran’s mom’s station wagon until three days before I saw her performance. They’d been living paycheck to paycheck when they found themselves locked out with no notice. They had needed cash fast and was so desperate she’d walked into a local strip club and was hired on the spot.
“Tell me about her. What is she like?” We had both sat in a prolonged period of silence each with our own thoughts when Chloe interrupted my memories of what Kiran had told me.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Chloe and I don’t want any of this to come between us, but she’s my daughter—”
“Gibson, I’m trying. It’s just… so sudden. I need time to get my head around it, you know? The only thing I’m sure of right now is that I never want you to feel you can’t see her or talk about her because of me.”
The deep sigh that left my throat was for two reasons. Relief she felt that way and shame for the hurt I was causing her. “Until yesterday we were childless, except for the commitment we just made to Piper. My one regret about us is that I never—”
“You can cut that the fuck out right now, darlin’, I won’t have you feeling inadequate. I’m more than happy that it’s just the two of us—”
“But that’s just it, Gibson. It isn’t anymore.” The look of apprehension and uncertainty that passed through her eyes broke my heart.
“So what do we do? Tell me how to deal with this? I want a relationship with my daughter but I don’t want that to wreck what we’ve got,” I replied as my eyes searched her face.
“What’s her mother like?” Chloe sounded calmer than I expected.
“She appears nice enough, I don’t know I wasn’t really paying much attention to her. I was kinda focused on the fact I had a daughter.” Watching as her lips pursed together I waited for the next question.
“What does she look like?”
“Mom. She looks like my mom. I took some pictures, here,” I replied nervously and swiped my cell phone screen.
Chloe huddled around me and laid her head on my shoulder while she stared at the face of the cute little girl I could never deny was mine. A small gasp left Chloe’s mouth and I knew she saw what I saw.
Melody’s eyes were so similar to mine it was like looking into a mirror. Chloe slid her hand underneath mine as I held the phone as she continued to stand quietly beside me. I slowly flicked through the few pictures I’d taken until I heard her sniff.
My heart tore in half crushed from hurting my beautiful wife in this way while the other half sang with joy because I felt something I never thought I would—the love a parent has for their child.
“Come here, darlin’,” I coaxed. I dropped my cell phone onto the sofa before I grabbed her by the waist and scooped her up into my lap. Climbing onto my legs I could see how hard she was trying to be brave, but the shock of what I’d just told her and the fact our lives had changed forever must have been crippling her with pain. The tension in her body made her feel stiff in my arms.
“We’ll take it slowly, darlin’,” I said sounding more confident than I felt. Chloe was truly crushed by my news and I understood why. The best of the best in fertility clinic doctors and all the fancy hi-tech treatments had failed us. Not to mention all the physical and emotional pain she’d gone through in an effort to give us a child of our own. I was certain she’d accept Melody at some point but I hated the fact she had to go through the pain of acceptance to get there.
Chloe pulled away from me and stood up
straight. Adjusting the hem of her red cotton top she glanced down, her eyes instantly connecting with me. A small rueful smile formed on her lips. “I’ll be okay, Gibson. We’ll be okay. I need a little time…to adjust,” she said with a shrug.
Deep down I knew I’d have to make Chloe feel secure and nurture her with love to make her feel secure. I knew I’d lost a lot of ground on that with my news. I had to do that because there was no way I’d allow Melody to drive a wedge between us.
I stood up and faced her, grabbed her hair, and pushed her face toward me from behind. I held her inches from my face and placed her hand over my heart. “No matter what, Chloe, you are mine. Feel that beat? It’s yours. You are my heart. Nothing is going to change that. I won’t let anything come between us. I know you don’t want to hear it but I am sorry this has happened. Six and a half years ago means she was conceived right before we got together. Her pregnancy dates were within weeks of me arranging to meet you. I thought I’d put my legacy behind me but I guess my past was bound to catch up with me at some point.”
Knowing Chloe the way I did I knew it didn’t take much to dent her confidence after the history she’d been through and how important it was to keep her close. I felt if I gave her space and time she’d ask for more and before I knew it we’d have a fight on our hands to get what we have back.
I wrapped my arms tightly around her letting the warmth of my body seep onto hers. In the embrace between us I had wanted her to feel the remorse I felt for her situation. Chloe willingly accepted my gesture and melded against me, absorbing my affection. Rubbing her back to sooth her wasn’t anything new so she relaxed into my arms and let me take care of her.
“Let’s go to bed the dishes can wait,” I said because it was me who felt insecure in that moment.
“Okay,” she whispered knowing we both needed to feel close to each other. My heart swelled with love at how compassionate she was being.
Gibson's Melody: (A Last Score Novella) (Last Score (Gibson's Legacy and Trusting Gibson)) Page 4
