“Or you know, you can wait until they ask you”, she adds.
“Thanks, Marcy.”
That picture I painted of myself looking beautiful, hair done up waiting for Jack and Zach to whisk me away to perfection seems like a million miles away as we head for home. Part of me wants to rip the pages out and burn them for daring to even think it might be possible, but I can’t bring myself to destroy what might be the closest I ever get to the reality of having them.
Outside our house, and even from inside the car, it’s possible to hear Donkey’s parents arguing.
“They just don’t stop do they?” Marcy says, inclining her head towards the window.
“It’s a miracle Donkey turned out as well adjusted as they have”, I say.
“Come on, you ever seen them alone? Split them up and they are like two lost little puppies, believe me. It’s like some kind of weird symbiotic relationship where they parasite off each other.”
I push her on the shoulder. “Oh, come on! You’re just jealous.”
“Have you even seen the guys I get to live next to. If you were any kind of friend you’d let me stay over here, you know, permanently.”
I give her a suspicious look. “You’d never leave.”
“It’s hard to fault perfection.”
“You know, Marcy, I’m surprised you never asked them”, I say.
“Oh come on, what am I going to do with two guys at once? You know they come in a package, right? Plus, you’d hate me forever if they said yes, and you’re my best friend.”
“I’m your only friend, Marcy”, I correct her.
“Exactly, which is why I can’t lose you.”
I pull my satchel to my chest. “Don’t tell anyone about the book will you?”
“Pinky swear I won’t”, Marcy says. “But if you ever write the sexy bits in, you’ve got to let me read them.”
“You know it’s about me, don’t you?” I say, just in case she’s forgotten.
Marcy shrugs. “You are kinda sexy, in a weird, geeky sort of way.”
“Thank you, I think”, I say.
“And, by the way, there is nothing weird about writing your fantasies down on paper. In detail. Just in case you were wondering. I’m not worried at all by your current state of mind”, Marcy says.
“Practise”, I mumble, suddenly embarrassed again by it. “I’ll never be a writer if I don’t, you know, visualize and-.”
I search for the word while Marcy looks like she’s so bored by it all she’s become distracted.
“Marcy”, I remonstrate.
“Shh, never mind that”, she says, waving her hand at me. “Time to do some visualizing for real.”
It takes me a moment to realize what she’s talking about, until I follow her eye line to the wing mirror and see the unmistakeable perfection of Jack and Zach jogging gently towards us.
“Fuck”, I say.
Like always, I feel completely unprepared. You would have thought that after almost ten years living next to them I’d be comfortable in their company, but no. I’m a bundle of fucking nerves. “How do I look?” I worriedly ask Marcy.
“I don’t know, like you always look. Like you’ve been fantasizing about fucking Donkey and spying on them from the top of the sports field.”
“Marcy!”
“It’s hard to hide, Jenny. It’s written all over you, head to toe”, Marcy says.
“Stop!” I protest.
Before I have any more time to think, Donkey are at the window to the car.
“Hey guys”, they chirp in unison, “waiting for us?”
“Thought we’d give you a ride home”, Marcy jokes, cigarette between her lips like a prop.
I smile, exercising precaution not to look too closely at their muscle covered bodies. “How was training?” I ask innocently.
“Yeah, hard work”, Jack says. “Zach’s getting faster.”
Zach pushes his brother lightly. “I have to slow down for him, he’s getting old”, he says.
“You decided who you’re taking to the prom?” Marcy says out of nowhere, craning her neck past me to look at them.
Jack and Zach look at each other and then down at me. “We hadn’t really thought about it”, Jack says, before craning his neck to look back at his house. “There’s kind of a lot of stuff going on at the moment.”
“This been going on for a while?” Zach asks us, the argument still making the house hum.
“No”, I say shaking my head, only to have Marcy’s “yes”, drown me out. I give her a look but it doesn’t save what’s been said.
“Sorry, Jenny. It must be difficult having to hear that all the time”, Jack says.
“It’s alright”, I say. “It makes a change from hearing my parents go at it.”
“Sometimes I wonder how they even managed to get together in the first place”, Jack says.
“Or stay together so long”, Zach adds.
“Hey, congratulations on your placement by the way”, Jack says to me. “I never really said. The last couple of weeks have been hectic with the scholarship offers and stuff. And then LSU coming out of nowhere for negotiations.”
“Thank you”, I say meekly.
“That might be what they are arguing about actually”, Zach says. “Mom isn’t keen on us moving away.”
She’s not the only one, I think.
“Do you know what you guys are going to do in the end?” Marcy asks.
“No, not yet”, Zach says. “We just need to weigh up what’s being offered and then decide.”
“But you’re definitely going out of state?” I ask, my question infused with panic in a way I intend to hide but don’t achieve very well.
Jack smiles it off while I kick myself for being so obvious. “I’m afraid it kind of looks that way”, he says, almost with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
“That wasn’t what we planned initially”, Zach adds. “But we hadn’t factored on LSU coming in with an offer.”
“Too good to refuse”, I say.
“That’s what everyone is saying”, Jack responds.
“I suppose you’ve got to take your opportunities when they present themselves”, I say.
“Or, you know, you might regret them forever”, Marcy adds. “You know, like, just for example, not asking someone you like to the prom.”
I turn my head towards her slowly, unable to believe she’s actually gone there. Thankfully the comment manages to create a bookend to the conversation and Donkey don’t appear to pick up on the hidden meaning. If they do, they at least don’t show it.
“Are you guys leaving or arriving?” Jack asks casually.
“Arriving”, I say. “We’ve been, you know, studying.” I hold up my satchel as evidence.
“Right”, Zach says. “Right up until the very last day. How come that doesn’t surprise me about you, Jenny?”
“Me either”, Marcy says.
“We’d better head inside”, Jack says, “Try and defuse the bomb. Walk you to the door?”
“Ok”, I say, my skin tingling with excitement. It’s only ten metres but it’s better than nothing.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”, Marcy whispers as Zach opens the car door for me.
“Hey, listen”, she calls out of the window when I’m outside. “Matt’s got a fake ID so just let me know what you want me to get for you. We’re going all out, considering this is the last party of the school year, and you skipped the graduation free-for-all aftershow. That goes for you as well, Donkey.”
“I don’t know, Marcy, it’s not really my thing”, I say.
“Then I’ll decide for you”, she calls back, and with a smile and another cigarette in her mouth, she gives us a wave. “Take care of her, Donkey.”
We watch smoke splutter out of the exhaust of her car as she weaves away up the road, before we turn towards our houses.
The first few steps we take in silence, but even so it’s like heaven to me. We haven’t done this si
nce the bus used to drop us off, and even then it wasn’t an everyday occurrence, so I plan to enjoy it as much as I can, while I can.
“I can’t believe school’s nearly over”, Jack begins. “It feels like only yesterday we moved in next door and now we’re on the verge of moving away again.”
“I know, right?” I bet you can’t wait to get away from me”, I say, jokingly.
“Just counting the days down”, Zach says. “We’ve each got a calendar up on the wall, marking the days off in red pen when we no longer have to see you.”
He lifts his perfect lips into a smile and winks at me in a way that makes me think if he did it again, he could make my panties drop to my ankles.
“It’s going to be weird adjusting”, Jack says. “It took us long enough here.”
“Are you serious? You guys could fit in anywhere. You’ll be unstoppable wherever you choose to go. There’s not a single person in this whole town who would say any different”, I say.
“Now you’re just being kind to make us feel better”, Zach says.
We’ve got to the door and a natural gap in the conversation suddenly makes this feel awkward. I feel like there are a thousand and one things I want to say that I’m just not saying. I feel like there are just as many things Jack and Zach want to tell me too.
“You know”, I say, nodding my head towards the house. “If it gets too much, you’re always welcome over here.”
“Thanks, Jenny”, Jack says.
“So who’s the lucky guy anyway?” Zach asks and the question throws me for a moment.
“Which lucky guy?” I ask.
“The lucky guy who gets to take you to the prom”, Jack clarifies.
I laugh to try and hide it, but I know I’m going red. “It’s not really my kind of thing”, I say, lying through my teeth. “I don’t think I’m going to go. You know, even with the several hundred requests for company, I might just give it a pass.”
“Right”, Jack says, his mind elsewhere. “That’s kind of what we thought. You know, it’s only a stupid dance.”
“Plus if we both want to ask the same girl, it gets kind of complicated”, Zach adds, his eyes burning into mine in a way that makes me think he’s desperately trying to tell me something.
“I can see how that might get a little tricky”, I say, trying to figure out exactly what he means, convinced he couldn’t possibly be talking about me.
“We can’t really take the same girl”, Jack says, his laugh defusing the seriousness of his statement.
“No, I guess that would be a little weird”, I say, not really believing it.
“Yeah”, Zach says, without a huge amount of conviction in his voice, his eyes falling away from mine. “That’s what we thought.”
“So, anyway, I guess we might just not go to the dance and hit up the after party afterwards when it’s a little less formal. That way we can spend the money we would have spent on a limousine on enough alcohol and drugs to send us all to the moon and back.”
“That way we don’t have to worry about stepping on each others toes”, Zach says.
“Who’s the girl anyway?” I dare myself to ask, my eyes going from one brother to the other.
“Oh, it’s not-”, Jack begins.
“You know it’s only hypothetical”, Zach adds.
“Oh, right, of course”, I say. “It’s just, you know, if there was a girl you had in mind, maybe she wouldn’t mind going with both of you, you know, theoretically, so there wouldn’t be an issue.”
Jack and Zach look at each other and then back to me. “I guess”, Jack says. “But it’s kind of weird all the same, you know, like you said.”
“Yeah”, I say, imagining it. “I guess the dancing bit would be awkward.”
“And the kiss. You know, if she wanted to, of course.”
I smile. “I thought you guys knew how to share.”
“We’re pretty competitive”, they say in unison.
“I’m sure you’d work something out. You could toss a coin or something.”
Jack smiles. “I knew you’d understand.”
I’m not sure I have entirely. “Sure”, I say. “It makes sense you like the same girl, you are twins after all.”
“Hypothetically”, Zach says.
“You know, with all the training and stuff it’s hard to find time for anything else”, Jack says.
“Right”, I say. “Same. You know, it’s hard to fit everything in. It doesn’t matter really, you won’t be here after the summer so-.”
I don’t get to finish my sentence because Donkey’s mom flies out of their house at a hundred miles an hour, slamming the front door in it’s frame so much the two houses shake.
“Mom”, the twins say in unison.
A moment later Brian is out on the porch with a bloody nose.
“Janice”, he calls after her.
“Asshole”, she shouts back.
Jack tries to go to her, but Zach holds him back. We all watch Janice get into her car, slam that door shut so hard the window nearly smashes and pull out into the path of an oncoming car, which I have no idea how she eventually misses. Our eyes go to Brian once she’s disappeared up the road. He has blood on his T-Shirt running there from his nose along the hand he has pressed up against the wound.
“We’ve got to go”, Jack says solemnly, turning towards his father.
“You should go”, Zach says to me before he joins him, and it isn’t entirely clear whether he’s referring to the prom itself or whether I should go inside. I watch the boys disappear inside with their father before I head inside too, the satchel with my notebook in pressed tightly against my chest.
Chapter Six
I’m sleeping when I hear the taps against the window, dreaming about working on a newly discovered Mayan city in the depths of the Guatemalan jungle. At first the taps align perfectly with the chisel I’m using to work away at the rock, before the noise falls out of synch with the action, and reality subsequently sucks me right out of the dream.
I’m momentarily disorientated and then suddenly frightened, before I dare myself to go to the window and investigate.
Outside, partially illuminated by the crescent moon in a starless sky above, stand Jack and Zach, relieved they’ve finally woken me up.
I open the window and lean out.
“Hey”, I whisper casually, trying to pretend my pulse isn’t racing.
“Hey”, Jack says, his eyes twinkling.
“You mind if we come up?” Zach suggests.
I look behind me into the chaos of my room - clothes on the floor, notepad out on the table, mess everywhere in preparation for the end of one thing and the start of the next, and then turn back to Jack and Zach, a little confused of their motives.
“Sure”, I say, and shrug. “But give me a minute to, you know to, er, just give me a minute.”
While Jack and Zach negotiate the climb up to the window, I gather as many of the clothes from the floor as I can and toss them into the closet, before making sure my notebook - the one with the stories in of an imagined world I wish more than anything were real - is buried at the very back of the bottom drawer of the unit, hidden underneath folders of exam preparation work.
When I turn around, Jack’s already in the room, and Zach’s lowering himself from the sill to join him.
The alarm clock on my bedside table reads 2:03 am and in my haste to clear the room ready for their arrival I suddenly realize I’ve forgotten entirely about myself. I’m not at all dressed for company.
My arms fold quickly over my chest, and I stand awkwardly in front of Donkey - the combined object of my secret affection - feeling completely naked. I’m not, thank God, but I’m wearing much fewer clothes than they’ve likely seen me in, which is making me feel exposed.
A silent moment passes us all while we just stand there, like stooges in a Mexican stand off.
“What’s up?” I finally ask.
I’m not upset I’ve been woken up, far from i
t, but this is unusual behaviour, even for the twins. Their clothes suggest they haven’t been to bed yet, their expressions as though they’ve been agonizing over something all evening.
Jack takes to the bed, while Zach flops himself into the chair by the window.
I wonder for a moment whether it’s their parents. Since Janice left, she hasn’t returned. I wonder too if this is going to be their way of telling me about being accepted to LSU, about a scholarship and a lifetime of sporting celebrity and fame and they are here to say goodbye, once and for all, in the middle of the night when I’m too lost to sleep to care.
“It didn’t make sense”, Jack begins.
“You know, not to come over”, Zach adds.
“No?” I ask, confused already.
“We-. We’ve been thinking”, Jack begins again.
“And talking”, Zach stumbles.
Whatever it is, this is clearly difficult for these two, which is like saying it’s hard for an eagle to fly. I’ve never seen these two struggle with anything before. Whatever they turn their minds to, they succeed in. I pinch myself secretly to see if I’m dreaming.
“Look, maybe it’s better if we show you”, Jack says.
My eyes follow his to Zach’s, who I see is nodding.
“Okay”, I say. “I’m officially freaked out.”
From where he’s sat, Jack is close enough to touch me. He reaches out and takes my hand and nothing in the world would be strong enough for me to stop him.
I may not understand what the fuck they are doing here, not yet at least, but whatever it is, at the very least, I know it’s not bad.
“Do you trust us?” Jack asks, his thumb finding the centre of my palm.
“Sure”, I half whisper, the word sliding softly across my lips.
“Close your eyes”, Zach says, now up alongside me, my other hand in his.
I look from one to the other. “Close my eyes?” I ask.
My heart is beating, my pulse racing around my body like a car around a scalextric track. I’m stood here in three thin pieces of fabric, that cling to my nubile body and leave little to the imagination, while Jack and Zach, these twin towers of perfection hold my hands and guide me towards a destination I couldn’t even imagine happening in my wildest dreams.
Prime: A Bad Boy Romance Page 18
