by Ivy Jordan
“Yes. I was just helping Elijah paint. He’s so excited,” I tried to lighten her mood without success.
“He’s out back?” she asked, ignoring my attempt at small talk, and headed through the house.
I was tempted to follow her but decided that privacy was in order for whatever she’d come to say.
I could hear Elijah’s voice, and then Kellie’s high-pitched screeching as it sounded as if she were arguing with him. Suddenly, everything grew silent, so I stepped back into the hall towards the bedroom. It felt like an eternity as I waited for something, anything to happen. Finally, Kellie’s high heels clicked against the smooth floor, threatening to scuff it as she stormed back through the house and out the front door. She turned to me, glaring at me like the devil as she pulled the door shut, hard, behind her.
What has her in such a foul mood? From what Elijah had said, she was gracious and sweet just the day before.
I walked through the house, carefully making my way to the back door. Elijah sat on the back steps, his head buried in his hands. “What was that about?” I asked, stepping outside to comfort him.
Before I could reach out and touch him, he stood, shrugged, and headed towards the red cooler by the pool. “You want a beer?” he asked, pulling two bottles out of the ice.
“Yes,” I agreed, feeling as though whatever had happened would require a drink. “Is everything okay with Bailey?” I asked.
He let out a sigh and sat back down where he’d been before I walked out. I sat down beside him as he handed me the beer. I sipped the cool liquid from the bottle. It wasn’t wine, but it would have to do. Elijah stared down at his shoes, twirling his beer bottle in his hand as he appeared to struggle with whatever he needed to say. “So, Kellie isn’t going to be quite as gracious as I originally thought,” he chuckled nervously.
“I can see that,” I said softly, reaching my arm to his shoulder for support. His muscles were tense and tight. Whatever she’d said, it had him a mess. “What did she stop by for?” I probed, hoping to shine some light on this situation.
“She came by to plan a time to bring Bailey over this week,” he sighed. “But, that isn’t happening now,” he growled, chugging half his beer with one gulp.
“Why? What changed?” I asked.
“Apparently, she thinks it’s a bad idea for me to have another woman in my life,” he groaned.
My stomach flipped as he spoke. I sat my beer on the step next to me, no longer able to swallow the putrid concoction. That’s why she stared at me so hatefully, why she’d been so angry and rude. Fuck, it is me or Bailey, that’s what she was telling him.
“She said she hasn’t had any other men around Bailey, and that it would only confuse her if I were with another woman,” he explained, pushing his head back into his hands. I felt so bad for him, and for me, for us. “Since she told her I just got back from the ship, it would be too much for her to understand that I already shacked up with another woman besides her mother,” he groaned.
He turned and looked at me, his eyes filled with sorrow and confusion. I couldn’t deny that Kellie was right, but I hated to think of what this meant for us. “So, we’ll take it slow,” I offered.
“I told her I’d keep you at a distance when I had Bailey, at least until things were settled. She wouldn’t have it. She said that my distraction with another woman would interfere with Bailey, and if I cared for her, I’d understand that she needed me, without sharing me,” he scoffed.
That part to me was ridiculous. If I wasn’t around Bailey, what difference did it make to Kellie what Elijah did with his spare time? Unless she wants him for herself?
Elijah turned to me, his arms stretched out around me, and his eyes staring into mine. “It doesn’t matter what she wants. She can’t tell me what to do, or who I can have in my life,” he assured me, pulling me into his chest. His tense embrace displayed the stress he was feeling, and I knew that this was bothering him far more than he was letting on. By choosing me, to stay with me, he was risking his relationship with his daughter.
“We’ll figure it out,” I whispered in his ear, stroking his back with my hands. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew it was up to me to figure out the next move. Elijah obviously couldn’t handle more big decisions or changes in his life. He’d reached his limit. “Let’s get this done,” I pulled away from him gently.
His eyes were stricken with grief. I hated to see him hurt so badly. “I don’t feel like dealing with this now,” he sighed.
“It will help take your mind off of it, and besides, it needs to be done,” I urged, standing and reaching for his hand. I pulled him to his feet, slid into his arms, and tiptoed for a kiss. A slight smile emerged on his face, and I could feel the tension starting to loosen his muscles. “It will be fine,” I smirked, reaching behind him and slapping his ass.
“You’re amazing; you know that?” he smiled.
I nodded, and gave him a quick wink before disappearing back into the house. In the room, the pretty pink room, tears rolled down my cheeks as I finished covering the walls. When I finished, I wiped my tears, sucked up my pain, and enjoyed an amazing evening with Elijah. After he grilled steaks, and we took a dip in the pool, he gripped me around the waist and pulled me into him. “Let’s go to bed,” he whispered in my ear.
He’d never stayed in the house since he’d been back. He was finally ready to let go of his old painful memories and start new ones. The realization that I may not be a part of them crushed my soul. I leaned in, let our lips push together and our tongues entangle. I forgot about the future for a moment and just lived in that moment. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to think about it while warm and safe in Elijah’s arms.
Chapter Thirty-One
Elijah
I woke up surprisingly well-rested. I stretched out on the new bed, stared around the freshly painted room that used to belong to my father, and felt at ease, almost an ‘at home’ feeling, but not quite. I rolled over expecting to see Taylor snuggled under the sheets beside me, but the bed was empty.
I sat up and looked around the room for any signs of her clothing, but everything was gone. “Taylor,” I called out as my feet hit the smooth hardwood floors. My voice echoed down the hall in the practically empty house, but I didn’t get a response. In the kitchen, there was a note on the table. I picked it up, rubbed my eyes, and started to read.
Dear Elijah,
I realize things in your world have changed, but they haven’t in mine. I started this sexual relationship with the belief you would be going back to the States, not staying here to make a life and home.
I understand that we have grown close, but it was easy to let go when there was no fear of commitment. This isn’t what I signed up for, and not what I want.
Since this has caused you grief with your new family situation, it’s best we end it now before anyone gets hurt.
Taylor
I let the paper slip from my fingers as I soaked in the words she’d written. It didn’t sound like Taylor, not the Taylor I knew. We had grown close, or at least I had. My heart was aching at the thought of what we had between us being fake, unimportant, and disposable. What the fuck?
My knees buckled slightly beneath me, causing me to grab the chair next to the small table. I sat down, thought about her note, and realized maybe I was just caught up in the game. It was easy, no strings, no pressure. I’d thought about staying and not returning to Miami, especially after that night in the tent. I knew she’d said she loved me, and I’d said it too, even though she didn’t hear it. I never told her I was staying. I never made any arrangements back home with anyone to take care of my place, or possibly put it up for sale. Was I serious about her? Did I love her, or was I just enjoying the comfort of a relationship without the actual commitment?
Anger started boiling inside of me as I thought about the words on her note. Fuck her if she wanted to be that way. Now that I was staying, there was nothing she wanted to explore, no desire at all to
maybe find out of we’d work? I didn’t need this shit. Relationships weren’t my thing. I’d said that over and over again. I wasn’t going to let this woman get under my skin, no matter how much I really liked her.
I gathered my clothes, quickly dressed, and headed out the front door. A part of me wanted to head to Taylor’s, to tell her she was a coward for writing me a note and not telling me to my face. Nah, she doesn’t deserve to have me chasing after her. I used to hate it when women did that to me. Fuck!
I climbed into my car and drove to Kellie’s. I banged on the front door without bothering to use the bell. When she opened it, I took a deep breath and pulled back my anger. I wasn’t happy with her either, making demands on my personal life like she had any fucking right. “I’m here to see Bailey,” I announced firmly.
Her eyes narrowed as she puckered her lips in boredom. “Oh yeah? I thought we discussed that last night,” she sassed.
I could reach out and strangle her little fucking neck. I was in no mood for her games too. I’d been played enough already. “Taylor left me a note this morning; she’s gone,” I snapped. “There’s nothing to worry about; I’m alone just like you wanted.”
My tone had grown to a deep growl, one I could tell Kellie didn’t like. “I’m sorry. I’m just irritated. But, the fact remains, Taylor is out of the picture, never to return. So, it’s just me and Bailey, and I’d like to spend some time with her,” I said much calmer.
Kellie moved out of the doorway and motioned me inside. “She’s just finishing breakfast,” she pointed towards the kitchen.
Before I made it into the room, Bailey was already on her feet and running towards me. Her little hands gripped around my knees with a tight embrace. “Daddy,” she exclaimed cheerfully. That was a name I never imagined being called. Daddy: it did have a nice sound to it coming from Bailey.
“I was going to see if you wanted to hang out with me today, if that’s okay with your mom,” I looked towards Kellie with a pouted lip and my best sad puppy dog eyes.
“Please, mommy, can I?” Bailey whined in her mother’s high-pitched voice.
I chuckled at the thought of how much pleasure it brought me when it came from Bailey, and how much anguish it caused when coming from her mother.
“Oh, okay,” Kellie gave in to her child’s pleas, or possibly my pitiful look. Either way, I was going to spend the day with my daughter, just me and her. Who needed Taylor anyway? I had everything I needed right here, in this little girl with juice-stained lips that called me daddy.
“Where are you going to go?” Kellie asked.
I hadn’t really thought about where we would go or what we would do. She was only three, and a little girl. I had no idea what three-year-old little girls liked to do. “Go to the beach, maybe down by the harbor,” I suggested.
Kellie seemed fine with the plan, nodding and then sending Bailey to her room to change into her swimsuit. “I’ll pack her a bag,” Kellie said, moving past me to the other room.
I stood there, still stunned by the news I’d received from Taylor, and irritated by Kellie’s aggression, but my heart felt full at that moment. I had my daughter. It would all be fine.
“I’m ready,” Bailey chanted, running out of her room. Kellie was behind her, barely keeping up.
“Here,” she handed me a purple bag with a bright blue whale on the front. I’ll look adorable with this on my arm.
We left the house with Kellie watching. It was easy to see she was nervous letting me take Bailey on my own, but there was no way she was as nervous as I was. What am I going to do with this kid?
Bailey helped strap in her car seat and immediately asked to listen to the radio. I turned it on as we pulled away, and laughed proudly as she sang along to an AC/DC song. “You know this song?” I questioned.
She nodded with a wide grin and then continued to sing along with the chorus. She was certainly mine.
At the beach, Bailey ran ahead while I spread out the blanket in the bag Kellie provided. I watched as she started her sand castle, again in the soft, dry sand. “Let me show you,” I told her, taking her bucket and moving it towards the damp sand. She helped me fill it up several times, and then dump it into a perfect shape for the castle walls. “Wow,” she exclaimed.
The way she looked at me with such admiration made me feel ten feet tall. Her giant eyes widened each time I showed her something new, and by the time we made it to the water’s edge, it felt as though I’d known her since birth. “Ice cream,” she said, running from a large wave breaking near her feet.
“Okay,” I agreed, ready to get out of the sun. We packed up, walked to the ice cream shop near the beach entrance, and stood at the window where it said to place your order. My eyes drifted over to the bakery, Madison’s bakery, and I scanned the parking lot for Taylor’s car. I don’t know what I hoped to see, or what I planned to do if she was there, but I was relieved she wasn’t.
“What can I get you?” the woman appeared in the window and immediately turned her attention to Bailey.
“I want blue ice cream with a sugar cone, and sprinkles, lots of them,” she boasted, bouncing as she spoke.
“And you?” the woman turned to me.
“Just a vanilla cone, two scoops,” I smiled, still distracted by thoughts of Taylor.
We sat at a table where we could watch the waves slap into the shore. I was glad she picked the farthest one away from Madison’s store. My heart was heavy as I thought about Taylor. There weren't any clues that she was in it for just the sex, none.
Bailey wanted to watch the boats come into the harbor, so we drove to the pier and watched for about an hour. It was starting to get late, and I knew Kellie would be worried, so I packed up Bailey with her corndog in her hand and headed back to her house.
Her little body was limp as I lifted her from the seat and carried her to the front door. Kellie must’ve been watching, waiting for us to pull up, because she had the front door open before I could make it to the porch. “Looks like you wore her out,” she laughed.
I hated to let her go, the warmth of her body was so soothing. Kellie slid her from my arms, thanked me, and then went inside, closing the door, and me from their daily life.
As my heart ached for the little girl that called me daddy, I realized I’d made the right decision. There was no doubt in my mind. I just couldn’t help but wonder what it could’ve been like if Taylor didn’t bail. What it would be like to be a family.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Taylor
Madison sipped her iced latte while I spilled my guts. I’d spent my entire weekend going over what I’d done, trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, without much success. I knew my friend could justify my actions, tell me they were right. “Taylor, I think you dodged a giant bullet,” she assured me. Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?
“I wasn’t trying to dodge a bullet. I just didn’t want him to suffer any longer. He made the right decision to stay here and be a father to Bailey. I was just causing grief,” I explained.
“Maybe so, but the way Kellie reacted… she was going to be a nightmare,” Madison sighed. “She would be controlling your entire relationship, causing trouble every chance she got,” she added.
“Maybe,” I reluctantly agreed. I didn’t know what Kellie’s motives were. Maybe they were just to protect her daughter.
“I’m going to be late,” I rushed, pushing out the small café chair and standing to give my friend a hug. I wasn’t sure she’d made me feel any better about my decision, but I know she meant well. And who knows, maybe Kellie would’ve tried to split me and Elijah up if I tried to stay and make it work. She obviously didn’t want us together. Either way, I knew that things would be easier for Elijah this way. He could see his daughter now anytime he wanted, and he didn’t have to worry about hiding our relationship, as if that were even possible on this small island.
“Call me later, maybe we can go get a drink,” Madison offered as I ru
shed through her front door and to my car. I waved behind me, knowing that her idea of going to get a drink usually ended up with me babysitting her boyfriend’s brother. No thanks.
I was rushing through the building to my office when I arrived to work. I was never late, but today, I was off my game. “Taylor,” Mitchell stopped me just outside my door. “I’d like to talk to you today before you leave, if you don’t mind,” he said.
I knew he was going to ask about my decision, if I’d decided to become a partner or not. I had, and was excited about it, but now, I wasn’t sure. I was back to the same question spinning in my head: Could I stay on this island if I wasn’t with Elijah, seeing him with Bailey, possibly with Kellie?
“Okay. Milton’s out of town this week, so how about three o’clock?” I suggested.
Mitchell nodded with a wide smile. I hated to disappoint him, to disappoint myself. “I look forward to it,” he added as he turned towards his own office.
As soon as I sat down at my desk, my phone lit up. The secretary was ready to send in my first patient, a new one. I pulled out her file and agreed to see her, even though I hadn’t had the chance to look over her case, and tried to scan through the main points before she entered.
A tall blonde woman, in her late forties, entered my office. She wore a long flowing skirt, a cute pink top, and had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She smiled, shook my hand, and introduced herself as Leah. She was an attractive woman, but sadness filled her bright blue eyes and aged her face. “I apologize, but I haven’t read your file completely,” I admitted, feeling that starting out with honesty was my best bet.
“There’s not much to catch up on,” she laughed nervously. “My husband was in the military and passed about three years ago. I feel like I’m ready to move on, but I’m not sure this is the place to do it,” she explained.
