“But you’ve proven you’re not like that. Have you ever hit a girl? Have you even been in a fight since high school?”
“That’s not the point. There is no way to know if I’ll hurt a woman until I do. I’m not willing to let that happen. Not to anyone, but especially not to you.”
“Why especially not to me?”
I jump out of bed and pull on a pair of sweats. “I’m going to the basement.”
“To get away from me?” she asks.
“Nobody’s keeping you from going down there.”
“But you know I won’t.”
“I guess that’s your choice, then, isn’t it?”
I walk down the stairs, grab a bottle of water and head down to my workshop. A few minutes later, I hear Aspen playing the piano. I stop what I’m doing and listen. I always listen. I love to hear her play. It’s the only time my mind is truly at ease.
After a while, I look down at the template I’ve drawn. And for the first time, it’s not a butterfly. I realize what I’ve been drawing is Aspen’s hands on a set of piano keys.
Chapter Thirty-four
Aspen
“What the hell are they thinking?” I shriek into the phone.
I rarely call Sawyer when he’s on the road. We text sometimes to make plans. We email. But we never call. And I realize that even though he’s laughing at me right now, I like it. I like hearing his voice when he’s been away for a while.
“It’s been a week,” I cry. “One week. That’s not even enough time to pick wedding invitations let alone mail them. Did they go home that night and plan the entire thing in ten minutes? And two weeks from now. Are they crazy? Who has a three-week engagement?”
“Maybe she’s pregnant,” he says.
“She’s not. I asked.”
“You talked to him already?”
“Of course I talked to him. Why do you think my voice is so hoarse?”
He laughs. I’m sure he’s imagining me tearing into Bass. He thinks I’m stubborn. And a meddler. He thinks I’m a stubborn meddler. “Well, did he say why they’re doing it so quickly?” he asks.
“He claims it’s because of her parents. The ones who didn’t even come to Brooke’s Juilliard graduation. They will be in town for the next three weeks before they go cruising around the world on some multi-millionaire’s yacht for five months. So they insisted it happen before they leave.”
“What kind of father insists that his daughter have a short engagement just to fit into his schedule?”
“Exactly!” I yell. “See – even you understand that. Why not just push it out and be engaged for six months? Or a year, even? People can stay engaged indefinitely.”
“Maybe Brooke wants to make sure he doesn’t change his mind.”
I think about his words. And everything starts to make sense. Especially about how even Bass was surprised about the abbreviated engagement.
“Aspen?”
“I never thought of that,” I say. “But, oh my God, I bet you’re right.”
“You’ve always said she’s way more into him than he is into her.”
“It’s true. She is.”
“Well, there you have it.”
“He wants me to be his best man, or best woman, or whatever you call it when a girl stands up with a guy.”
“You didn’t turn him down, did you?”
“Of course not. He’s still my best friend. And even though I don’t agree with his choices, I’ll still be there for him. Oh, gosh – please say you’re in town on the fourteenth. I don’t want to have to go through that by myself.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I’ll be in town. But I hope it’s a night wedding because we play a double-header that day.”
I rifle through the ornate wedding envelopes to find the invitation. “It’s at six-thirty.”
“Good. Then I’ll be there. Just don’t expect much. Weddings aren’t really my thing.”
“Do you think he’s really going to do it?” I ask, ignoring his comment that was obviously directed at me. “I’m still not convinced he loves her. Why would he go through all the trouble?”
“Because the one he really wants is unattainable,” he says.
I snort into the phone. Then I let out a huge sigh. “Well then, I guess Bass and I have one more thing in common, don’t we?”
“Come on, Aspen. Don’t be like that. We’ve discussed this.”
“No. You’ve discussed it. You’ve unilaterally decided we can’t be more than friends based on a notion of something that will never happen.”
“Yeah, but what if we’re friends, who, you know—”
“Fuck?” I bite at him. “You want to fuck me, but you don’t want to love me?” I belt out a maniacal laugh. “Oh, that’s precious. And what will the press call us then?”
“Fiancés,” he says. “Just like now. It could work. We could just extend the contract.”
“Extend the contract?” I huff in anger. “You’re asking me to be your long-term fuck buddy? And you’ll pay me for it? To pretend for the sake of your career that we’re in love, which – news flash – we are, and despite the fact that we’re supposed to be, for appearances’ sake, you’re bound and determined to deny it in front of the only person who really matters. Oh my, I don’t think I’ve ever received a more romantic proposition.”
I realize my sarcasm is dripping through the phone, but at this point, I don’t really care.
“I’m not capable of more, Aspen.”
“Yes, you are. You’re just scared of more. You’re scared of me.”
“No. I’m scared of what I might do to you.”
“Then buy me a gun,” I say. “And if you touch me, I’ll shoot you in the leg.”
“It’s more than just physical hitting, you know. Abuse is emotional as well. Abuse is wearing someone down until they feel they are nothing and no one without the abuser. You deserve so much more than that.”
“Yes. I do. And you deserve to not live your life in fear of love, missing out on one of the greatest things in life.”
He sighs into the phone. There’s a lot of sighing going on in this conversation. I guess he thinks there’s really not much more he can say that hasn’t already been said.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I know we’re not going to settle anything when you’re a thousand miles away. I just called because I was surprised and upset by the invitation.”
“Things have already been settled.”
“Sawyer …”
“Aspen …”
I expect him to make an excuse to hang up the phone. But he doesn’t. I hear him breathing. I hear him thinking. He wants to stay on the phone with me.
Things have most definitely not been settled. Not by a long shot.
“Where is the wedding?” he asks. “I’m sure all the best places have been taken.”
“The ceremony will be at her parents’ church on Long Island. The reception will be at their house. They already planned the honeymoon and everything. Do you know her parents bought them a two-week trip to Hawaii? Paid for it all in advance. They can’t even go for six months since Bass is just starting his new job next week. Can you believe that?”
“Must be nice to have rich parents.”
“No thank you,” I say. “I’d rather have had only nineteen years with parents who loved me to the ends of the earth than parents who could buy it for me.”
“You were lucky to have them.”
“I know,” I say. “I know that now more than ever.”
“I have to go. I need to report to pre-game in thirty minutes.”
“Good luck today, Speed Limit. Steal a base for me, okay?”
“How about I steal two?”
I stare at my phone long after the call disconnects, knowing the man on the other end of the line has stolen a lot more than just bases for me. He’s stolen my heart.
And I’m not sure I’ll ever get it back.
Chapter Thirty-five
Sawyer
Entering the dugout before our first game, I think about how today is going to be a long day. Two games and then Bass’s wedding. I can’t help but dread it a little – the thought of attending a wedding with Aspen. Weddings make girls get all mushy and emotional. As if she hasn’t been already.
She’s tried for weeks to get me to change my mind about us. It’s no use. No way in hell would I ever put her in danger. And being with me is exactly that. Dangerous.
I, on the other hand, have tried to talk her into extending our contract beyond the season. In a little over a month, the season will be done. We’ll be done. I’m not ready for that. But I’m also not willing to do what she wants – have a real relationship.
The contract makes things safer for everyone. I don’t get why she won’t agree. She still gets me. She gets me for as long as she wants to extend the contract. She gets me for as long as she’s willing to keep things the way they are now.
Why do women always need more?
I look out into the stands, up to where she normally sits, wondering if she’s even going to come today. It’s Bass’s wedding day. Maybe she’s hanging out with him doing ‘best man’ duties or whatever.
Just as the pre-game festivities end, I take a seat on the bench, waiting for the ceremonial first pitch to take place. Caden elbows me. “You might want to watch this one, Mills.”
He walks out on the field, presumably to be the catcher of the first pitch. Curious, I stand up and walk to the railing. Then my jaw drops when I see Aspen and Danny walking out onto the field. Aspen is talking into Danny’s ear. They walk to about the half-way point between home plate and the pitcher’s mound and then she hands him a ball, pointing to Caden as she gives him a few words of encouragement.
I stand here, stunned, wondering how this even came about. I’ve been trying to get Danny to a game for years, and now, not only does Aspen get him to one within weeks of meeting him, she’s arranged for him to throw the first pitch.
He throws the pitch. Caden catches it. The crowd cheers.
Danny jumps up and down, clapping. Aspen finally looks over at me and smiles.
I smile back. I can’t help it. She looks so beautiful out on that field wearing my jersey. And she got him to a game.
Caden comes back into the dugout and looks at me. “Are you pissed? Aspen thought you might be pissed.”
“Pissed? No. Not even close. But how? And, uh … how much do you know?”
“As far as the how – maybe you should ask Aspen. And all I know is that Danny is someone special to her, and, I guess, you.”
I nod my head. “Yeah. Yeah he is.”
Caden puts a supportive hand on my shoulder. “Whenever you want to talk, brother. I’m here.”
I nod my head again, then I walk away to find a piece of paper.
I write a note for Aspen, asking her to bring Danny to meet me outside the clubhouse in between games. I have to know how she made it happen. I give the note to the security guard standing near the dugout and ask him to deliver it to her.
When I walk out to bat, I can’t get the picture of them out of my head. Aspen and Danny, both wearing my #55 jersey, walking out onto the field. They are the two most important people in my life.
Then it hits me like a hundred-mile-an-hour fast ball. I fucking love her.
I almost said it to her weeks ago. I’ve said it to her in my dreams. I know she already knows it. But now I know it. I know it for sure.
I touch my tattoo before I stand at the plate. He loved her, too.
I stare at the pitcher, wondering what he’s going to throw me. Baseball. That’s what I love. That’s what I can control. Nobody gets hurt in baseball. And when I take a swing and hear the crack of wooden bat on ball, I run my ass off. I run around to second, thinking of Danny the entire time. And when the ball gets thrown back to the pitcher, I take off for third. I run for him, for Danny. I run because he will never be able to.
Having caught the pitcher off guard, he’s late on the throw, and I just beat it, sliding feet first into third base, touching the bag with the side of my cleat before the glove with the ball in it tags me.
I stand up, brush myself off, and look up to where I presume Danny is sitting. I point to him and say, “Eighty-eight.”
God, I love baseball.
~ ~ ~
Still in uniform since we have another game, I exit the clubhouse and look around. When I see Aspen standing with Lucy and Danny over by the wall, I wave them over and tell security to let them through the barrier.
Caden and Brady come out right behind me, just as Aspen and the others walk up.
“Danny, I’d like you to meet some of my teammates, Caden Kessler and Brady Taylor. Caden and Brady, Danny is a very special friend of mine. And this is his mother, Lucy.”
In typical Danny fashion, he hugs Caden and Brady and then they sign his program.
I grab Aspen’s elbow. “How did you do this?”
“She pretty much knows everyone in the Hawks organization,” Lucy says.
I shake my head, confused. I introduced her to Rick and Jason and some of the coaches, but that was just the one time. And it was months ago.
“Remember when I told you I do a lot of volunteering?” Aspen says. “Well, the Nighthawks is one of the places I do it.”
“You do?” I ask, surprised. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think I was doing it for you.”
I study her, and then I motion to Lucy. “And how did you get her to agree to this? I’ve been trying for a while to get Lucy to bring him to a game.”
“Your, uh, girlfriend is very persuasive,” Lucy says.
Something about the way she says it makes me wonder if she knows about Aspen and me.
“Aspen and I have become close in the past few weeks,” she says. “Daniel has really taken to her.”
I raise my eyebrows at Aspen. “You’ve been out to see them?”
“A few times, yes.”
I pull her to the side. “Why?” I ask. “You don’t think this will change things, do you?”
She shakes her head sadly and looks at the ground. “Everything is not about you, Sawyer Mills.”
I feel like a douchebag. “Sorry. I guess I just thought—”
“You thought everything was about you,” she says.
She’s right.
“Shit. I’m … I’m sorry. I’m glad you and Danny have become friends. He needs more of those.”
“I can see why you like him so much,” she says. “He’s absolutely delightful.”
“Did you see me throw the ball?” Danny asks excitedly, coming up beside me. “I’m a baseball player like you, Sawyer.”
“You sure are, buddy. You were great.”
I look at Aspen, her face glowing when she sees how happy he is. She’s responsible for that. She made his dream come true. All Danny ever wanted was to play ball. And she made it happen. She changes people’s lives. She changes people’s dreams.
But she can’t change the past. She can’t re-write history. Oh, but how I wish she could. I’d give anything – do anything – to make that happen.
I bring Danny into the clubhouse and give him a tour, introducing him to all the guys along the way. They treat him like he’s a celebrity. I’ve never seen him happier. By the time we re-join the ladies out in the tunnel, Danny looks exhausted.
“I’m going to see them off now,” Aspen says. “Then I have to go get ready for the wedding. I told Bass I’d get there early.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I tell her. “But it will be pretty close.”
“No extra innings,” she says, as they walk away.
I laugh. “As if I can control that, Andrews.”
“You’re the great Sawyer Mills,” she says. “I thought nothing was beyond your control.”
I wave at all of them as they leave, wondering if she was even talking about baseball at all.
Chapter Thirty-six
&nbs
p; Aspen
I walk into the groom’s room in the back of the church only to see Bass’s head between his knees.
“He’s a bit nervous, dear,” his mom tells me. “Maybe you can calm him down. You’ve always been good with him.”
“I’m not sure what I can do,” I say. “But I’ll try.”
He wasn’t nervous at all earlier when we were hanging out at his apartment. Brooke wasn’t there. She stayed at her parents’ house last night so they wouldn’t see each other this morning. Bass and I spent the afternoon talking about his new job as a firefighter. And music. He played a new song for me. He’s a true virtuoso on the guitar. He seemed fine. Relaxed even.
Bass’s mom brings me in for a hug. “If only you were the one walking down the aisle,” she whispers in my ear before walking out of the room, leaving me alone with him.
I stare at the empty hallway, not quite believing she just said that. I get that it was a short engagement, and it came as a surprise to everyone, but she needs to accept Brooke as her daughter-in-law or they will get off to a very bad start.
I walk over to Bass, wondering why he’s so nervous. He doesn’t get nervous. Not when he plays guitar in front of a thousand people. Not when he rescues people from burning buildings. Not even when he meets famous baseball players. So – why now?
“Bass,” I say, reaching out to rub his shoulders. “Is everything okay?”
He nods his head. Then he reaches over to grab a glass off the table, downing a large swig of light-brown liquid. I raise my eyebrows at it.
“Crown and Coke,” he says. “Just a little liquid courage.”
“If you need courage to do this, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it.”
He laughs. “As my best man, I’d think you’d be more supportive than that, Penny.”
“Sorry. In that case, where can I get one?”
He holds his drink out for me. “I’ll share it with you.”
I take a drink, feeling the burn as I swallow. “Ick!”
The Perfect Game: A Complete Sports Romance Series (3-Book Box Set) Page 85
