by Linda Bleser
With a moan, he lifted her, carried her into the room and kicked the door shut behind him. She trembled in his arms, making him feel too big and too rough around the edges, but that didn’t stop him from holding her tight and clasping her against his pounding chest. He tore his lips from hers only long enough to lower them to the couch, covering her body with his before returning to the sweet seduction of her mouth.
He was intensely aware of the weight of his body sinking into hers. He couldn’t breathe. Everything became oppressively tight—his chest, his clothes, his skin. He felt ready to burst.
Softly, hesitantly, her tongue met his, sending a jolt through him, only to withdraw again. He groaned, following the shy retreat, meeting her once again in a silky caress that became bolder, hotter, hungrier.
One calloused hand snagged on the silk of her shirt as he followed the curve of her waist, traveling upward to find and cup the swell of her breast. She gasped, the sharp intake of air drawing a moan from his throat.
He tore his lips from hers, wanting to taste every inch of her. Years of frustration throbbed inside him. He wanted to make up for the lost time in one long deep thrust. He needed her so badly he couldn’t think straight.
“Max, please,” she pleaded.
He was only vaguely aware of the pressure of her hands against his chest.
“Please? I can’t breathe.”
Slowly the words got through to his foggy mind. He blinked and rolled to the side, taking his weight off her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to crush you.”
“No,” she said. “It’s not that…”
Max was surprised to see tears shimmering in her eyes. The sight tore at his heart. “Oh God, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No. We just…need to talk.”
Talk? That was the last thing he needed right now. He took a deep breath, trying to regain some control. His pulse pounded violently and his breath came in short, ragged gasps.
Kate turned her head, not meeting his eyes. “Everything’s moving too fast.”
“Too fast?” Max snorted. “I’ve been waiting years for this.”
Kate swallowed over the lump in her throat. So had she—in more ways than one. She pulled away from him. There were things she had to tell Max and she couldn’t think straight with his lips so close.
She slid to the opposite end of the couch, pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Please can we just talk for a minute?”
Max glanced at his watch. “I can spare a minute.”
Kate couldn’t help smiling at the twinkle in his eyes. “It might be slightly more than a minute.”
“As long as it’s not going to take ten years…” He held out his hand, trying to bridge the distance between them. “Come on,” he urged. “Just take my hand. I promise not to pressure you into anything more than that.”
After a moment, Kate reached out and took his hand. He gave her a smile of encouragement, but Kate had a hard time forming the words she wanted to say.
I’m a virgin.
She’d waited so long to throw those words in his face. A virgin. It was the ultimate, indisputable proof that Max and everyone else in town had misjudged her all those years ago. Her virginity was the one shred of evidence that no one could take from her and she’d held onto it like a badge of honor.
But in a thousand fantasies it hadn’t gone like this. In her fantasies she’d used it to punish him for her humiliation, to hurt him the way he’d hurt her. She hadn’t planned on needing more, needing forever. She hadn’t expected this storm of love to batter the walls of shame she’d erected around her heart.
She hadn’t planned on still loving Max. Now, nothing else mattered.
Max gave her hand a squeeze. This was the moment of truth. She cleared her throat. “Do you remember what you said to me that night at the drive-in?”
He shook his head, but didn’t release her hand.
Kate couldn’t meet his eyes. She took a deep breath, reaching deep inside for the strength to repeat the words that had haunted her for so many years. “‘What are you saving it for?’”
Max looked as if she’d pulled the floor out from under him. Maybe he really didn’t remember saying those words. But Kate remembered.
And now she knew the answer.
He started to apologize, but Kate stopped him. “No, this isn’t about blame. Not anymore.” She slid closer. “I didn’t know then, but I know now. I know what I’ve been saving myself for all these years.”
She closed the distance, letting his arms close around her. She’d often wondered why she’d waited even after leaving Easy. Why she’d saved herself when casual sex was acceptable and available. Now she knew why she’d remained a virgin. This is what she’d been waiting for, this feeling of rightness. She’d saved herself for Max—not to prove something to him, but because he was then, and would always be, her first and only love.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” she whispered.
Max clutched her tight. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He slipped a finger beneath her chin and tipped her face to his. “You’re a virgin?”
She nodded. Max watched the gentle slide of one tear from the corner of her eye. He reached out and wiped it away with the tip of his finger.
She turned her head and lifted her chin, as if daring him not to believe her. He didn’t know what to say. Even though he now knew the rumors that had destroyed her reputation had all been lies, the extent of how wrongly she’d been accused hit him like a blast of ice water.
Maybe a part of him still harbored suspicions. Maybe all those years of resentment hadn’t been completely erased by a moment of truth. But still…ten years? She’d been on her own in the city, all alone. Surely there must have been someone important to her?
He scooped her up and draped her across his lap, cradling her head in the crook of his arm as the raging heat of passion dropped to a slow simmer of tenderness.
Kate sighed. When he held her like this, it made her want him even more. It was obvious she’d shocked him. Maybe deep down he hadn’t really believed her when she’d told him the rumors had been lies.
He shook his head, staring at her with disbelief. “You should have told me.”
Kate remembered all those old feelings of betrayal. How could she? Didn’t he know that the fact that he’d believed the lies had hurt her most of all? All she’d wanted to do was run away. She’d been wrong. They’d both misjudged each other.
She reached up and pressed the flat of her palm against his chest, feeling the pulse and pound of his heartbeat. “There was only you.” She looked up, capturing his intense gaze. “You were the only man I ever loved, the only man I ever wanted.”
He made a sound that was part sob and part moan, pulling her tight against his chest. He buried his face against the side of her neck, muffling his voice so that she was barely able to make out the words.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “I should have had faith in you, should have believed—”
“Shh…” She ran her fingers through his hair. “We each made mistakes. We misjudged each other. I was as much at fault as you were.”
His grip tightened possessively around her. “Ed Tate,” he growled. “I’ll kill him for what he did to you. For what he did to us!”
“That’s in the past,” she whispered. “Let it go.” And she was surprised to realize that she already had. All the anger and pain and hurt seeped away. It was enough to be back home in Max’s arms where she belonged. They’d wasted too much time already and she wouldn’t let another moment slide away into the shadow of past regrets.
He reached up and cupped her face, staring into her eyes. “I let you down once, Kitty. I swear I’ll never let you down again. You can count on me. You can trust me.”
She did. His eyes burned with intensity, promising everything she’d always wanted and so much more. “I believe you,” she whispered.”
; He let out a long sigh of relief then kissed her face, her cheeks, the tip of her nose and, finally, her lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “So sorry for all the time we lost. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”
He would, too. Max wasn’t sure how, but he’d make it up to her somehow. He’d make her trust him again and win back her love.
He rocked Kate in his arms, wishing he could give her back those years, the loss of innocence. “How do you feel?”
She gave him a tremulous smile. “Lighter,” she said. “I’ve been holding so much bitterness inside. It feels good to let it go.”
Max combed his fingers through her hair. “Thank you for telling me.”
She took a slow, deep breath. “Are you disappointed?”
His heart swelled in his chest. How could he ever be disappointed in her? “Not in a million lifetimes,” he said, brushing his lips over her temple. “And as much as I want you, I’d rather just hold you tonight.”
Kate gave him a puzzled look. “But we don’t have to wait anymore. I’m ready now.”
“I know darlin’. I’m ready too. You have no idea how ready. But I want your first time to be special. I want it to be memorable. And I want to be sure that this is what you want.”
“I do,” she assured him.
“Good. Then it’ll keep. Let’s take this one step at a time, okay?”
Kate nodded, relaxing in his arms.
“First things first. How would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?”
“A date?”
“Yes, a real date—with candles and champagne and soft music. I want to show you off to the world and give you all the things we missed out on. I want to court you properly.”
Kate made a soft, purring sound. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”
Max rocked her tenderly, content to simply hold her in his arms. He realized that Kate wasn’t the only one who’d been saving herself all these years. He’d kept his heart locked up tight, waiting for the only woman who held the key. Now that she’d come home to him, he’d cut his heart out before letting her go again.
Max had been watching Kate sleep for hours. The fact that she trusted him enough to sleep in his arms touched him more deeply than if they’d spent the entire night making love.
Her face was even more beautiful in sleep—soft and sweet and innocent. This was exactly how he remembered her, without the hard edge of mistrust she’d spent the last few days trying to hide from him.
The delicate skin under her eyes had a translucent bluish tint, as if she’d spent many sleepless nights since returning home. He realized she must have been exhausted to drift off so easily.
As if awakened by his thoughts, her eyes fluttered open. Disoriented, she looked at him first with surprise, then a slow smile of recognition. “Hi there,” she said in a voice husky with sleep.
“Hey sleepyhead.”
She tried to sit up, but his arms tightened around her. He wasn’t ready to let her go yet.
“What time is it?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.
“A little past midnight.”
“Oh no! You’ve been here all evening.” She broke free of his embrace and sat up. “I know you need to get up early to work at the ranch.”
He smiled. “Don’t worry about me. I don’t need much sleep.” He winked then laced his fingers together and stretched his arms out in front him. Holding Kate close all night was well worth a few kinks.
While his arms were otherwise occupied, Kate slipped off the couch. He reached out to grab her and pull her back, but she’d already scrambled out of reach and stood looking around the darkened room as if searching for something she had to be doing.
“Stay,” he called after her.
They stared at each other across the room, the simplicity of that one word separating them. Not “stay now,” but “stay forever, stay here, stay with me.”
And that was a promise she couldn’t make. Not yet.
“You have to get back to the ranch,” she said, as if that explained everything. He stood up, every long, lean inch of him uncoiling from his sitting position and taking up so much space in the room, which suddenly felt too small, too intimate, too private. Kate’s heart fluttered in her chest.
When he moved closer, she stepped out of his reach. Her entire body trembled. She wanted him to touch her but was desperately afraid that he would. She needed space to get her thoughts straight. Everything was happening so fast.
Sensing her hesitation, he stopped where he was and shoved his hands in his pockets. Neither said a word for a long, long moment. Then they both spoke at once and stopped at the exact same time.
Their nervous laughter broke the tension. Suddenly the room didn’t seem as oppressive. This wasn’t just any man, Kate reminded herself. This was Max, her childhood friend, her high-school sweetheart and the man who’d cradled her so protectively while she’d slept. Just Max.
“You first,” she said.
“I was just wondering if you were serving tea and crumpets here again in the morning?”
“Nope. I talked Nellie into taking a day off while we straightened things out. Lord only knows how the town will survive.”
“Good,” he said with a chuckle. “I talked to Tate and cleared up the little misunderstanding. You should be able to open the shop again Tuesday morning.”
He looked away and she didn’t dare ask him what was involved in “clearing up” the misunderstanding. There was no blood on his shirt, so she figured Tate was probably still alive.
Max reached out and fingered the wilting yellow flowers sitting on the mantel. It seemed so long ago that Bobby had knocked on the door with the handful of flowers. At the time, Kate hadn’t even realized Bobby was Max’s nephew.
“He’s a sweet boy,” Kate said, grateful for a safe subject.
Max nodded. “You know he searched all over for these rock roses. They were my mother’s favorite flower.”
“Rock roses?”
“Yeah. She named the ranch after them—Rock Rose Ranch. We just call it the TripleR though. It’s a pretty name for a flower but kind of a sissy name for a ranch.”
Kate stifled a laugh. There was nothing sissy about anything having to do with Max Connors. She had to force herself not to stare at him, but even without looking she was aware of every hard line of his body, the way he carried himself with casual cowboy grace, the snug fit of his worn jeans. Okay, that was dangerous territory.
She cleared her throat. “Won’t your sister be worried if you’re not home?”
He tipped his head and grinned. “Are you trying to get rid of me darlin’?”
“No, it’s not that…it’s just getting late, that’s all.” The truth was she was weak. It was hard enough seeing him in broad daylight, but at night when the shadows were like velvet and her resolve as weak as a midnight dream, she didn’t know whether she could fully resist Max Connors’ charms.
“Walk me to the door?” His voice was soft and coaxing, making her feel foolish.
“Of course.” She moved closer and he draped his arm around her shoulder, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And that’s exactly how it felt. Natural. Right.
At the door, he didn’t try to kiss her again. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Of course. We have a date, remember?” He tipped his head and winked. “You haven’t forgotten already have you?”
“No, of course not.” She felt suddenly shy, like a schoolgirl on her first date.
“I’ll pick you up at seven.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “See you then darlin’.”
When she closed the door behind him, she leaned against it and took a deep breath, trying to regain her equilibrium. He was dangerous—dangerous to her resolve, and even more dangerous to her intention to leave Easy in one short week and return to New York City.
She locked the door and walked across the room, catching sight of the flowers o
n the mantel. She fingered the petals that Max had fondly caressed. Rock roses, he’d called them. His mother’s favorite. She’d forgotten to talk to him about the friendship their mothers had shared and what that might mean. Rock roses…
Then it struck her.
Hadn’t Madame Zostra said something about roses? But Kate had envisioned the long-stemmed velvety florist roses, not these wild desert flowers.
Roses. Anne Connors. Again that connection. Could the roses refer to Rock Rose Ranch? And hadn’t Madame Zostra said something about Max holding the key? She had to be referring to the ranch!
Kate ran to the door and threw it open, intending to call Max back. But it was too late. His truck was already disappearing around the corner.
Tomorrow, she thought. There’d be time to talk to him about it tomorrow.
Chapter Fifteen
Max had no sooner sat down at the breakfast table Monday morning when Sue started grilling him.
“You got in late last night.”
Max pulled his chair up to the table. “Yep.” He piled bacon and eggs onto his plate, hoping she’d take the hint.
“I suppose you’ll be spending a lot of time with Kate while she’s here, right?”
“Reckon so. Least when I’m not here at the ranch doing chores.”
Bobby piped up. “I can help with chores, Uncle Max.”
Sue turned to her son. “You’re still running a slight fever. Best if you stay indoors for a few more days.”
Pouting, Bobby went back to his breakfast. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. “Don’t see why I can’t just hang out with Uncle Max.”
“Well, Uncle Max has other people to hang out with these days.”
Max glanced at Sue. Her shoulders were set and her face pinched with disapproval. Max figured she had something on her mind, but this wasn’t the time or place to discuss it. He’d talk to her alone later when Bobby wasn’t hanging on their every word. Maybe she just needed some reassurance that Kate wasn’t going to take him away. Sue should know better than that. His heart was here at the ranch, not in some faraway city.
