Abahn Sabana David
Page 8
The shooting gets closer and closer to the house of Abahn.
David, once more, makes an attempt. He grabs hold of the armrests with his hands, swollen by the work with cement, and lifts up his body.
He stands.
He finds himself upright once more in the room. He does not move. He looks at the Jew. His hands are hanging, swollen. He listens to Gringo’s shots over the ice of the pond. He alone knows what those shots mean.
“He’s the only one armed. It’s the same gun firing.”
Another shot, the dogs howling.
“Go,” says the Jew, “do whatever you have to.” He pauses. “By any means, try to live.”
“Yes,” David says to the Jew.
David closes his eyes, tries to separate Gringo’s shots from the howling of the dogs, he tries to calculate the distance, plan out the course.
“He is shooting in the direction of the field.” He opens his eyes, looks at the Jew. “Talk to me.”
“If you succeed and live,” says the Jew, “tell this story.”
“Yes.”
“Tell it. To everyone. Without distrust. Look around you. Closely. All this is destroyed.”
“Yes.”
Silence. Diane is no longer howling. There’s no shooting anymore, either. David listens.
“He is still coming. We have five minutes.”
David hasn’t taken his eyes off the Jew; all the while he has been listening to the turmoil of the Staadt night.
“He shoots because he is afraid,” says David.
“Yes.”
“He should be alone,” says David. “There’s no group. He made it up to make us believe he was busy. For me to be left alone with you, with a gun and the Jew.”
“Yes.”
The dogs, once more, howl.
“Leave your work,” says the Jew. “It’s difficult to do, but try.”
“Yes.”
“And your fear. And your hunger.”
“Yes.”
Silence. Gringo approaches without firing.
“Don’t be alone,” says the Jew. “That’s what I’m telling you. Leave that behind too.”
David does not answer.
“I don’t speak to you in your position but to myself if I were David. Not otherwise. You, do what you like. Go back to Gringo if that’s your plan.”
Silence.
Suddenly a shot rings out quite close to the house.
“I told you this in the forest,” says the Jew.
“Yes,” says David. “It feels far.”
“Far off, through the place of Jews.”
A shot hits the outside wall of the house.
Sabana and the Jew seem neither to have heard nor understood.
“He’s walking in front of the windows,” says David. “Flatten yourself against the wall.”
The Jew does not move. Neither does Sabana.
“I can’t see anything anymore,” cries out David. “I can’t see the Jew.”
Someone walks on the road a few meters in front of the house.
David says:
“He’s here.”
•
And now, the first cry through the howling of the dogs.
“David!”
“There is the brother, the ape,” says Abahn.
Sabana turns to look toward the road.
Abahn and David turn that way, too.
The Jew stops looking at David, he turns toward the darkened park.
They stay like that, as they are, scattered throughout the room, unmoving. Sabana next to the Jew, behind the bare windows. They all have the same expression of rapt attention.
The fear grows no more.
“David!”
The voice is getting closer. Still, that long howling of dogs in the park. The shooting has stopped.
“Three minutes,” says David.
“It’s daybreak,” says Sabana.
Beyond the road, toward the barbed wire, flush with the sky, with the growing light, still dark.
They talk, first one, then the others.
“He isn’t shooting through the windows.”
“He isn’t shooting.”
The howls of the dogs die down.
“He’s out there. He’s watching us. He isn’t shooting.”
“This is the lost time,” says Abahn. “The dead time.”
Some steps on the road.
“He’s leaving.”
More steps.
“He’s coming back.”
“What’s he looking for? The house of the Jew?”
The steps approach once more but this time more sure. The steps come all the way to the door.
“He hasn’t fired the gun,” David says.
He listens. Says:
“He’s afraid.”
“Of you,” says Abahn. “Of David.”
Someone calls out.
“David!”
David takes a step toward the door. He stops. He says slowly, sharply, “I HAVE NOT KILLED THE JEW.”
Silence on the other side of the door. There is no response to what David said. David starts up again:
“YOU SAW THROUGH THE WINDOW THAT THE JEW STILL LIVES.”
Silence on the other side of the door. No one responds to what David said.
There is a cry:
“There’s no point in hiding! We saw you!”
David doesn’t understand.
Silence.
David takes another step toward the door.
Silence still.
Then the voice of the Jew, slow, calming:
“We will walk past the ponds, we will walk north.”
David turns roughly toward the Jew: his eyes are closed, he’s not looking anywhere.
“Open up! It’s useless to hide! Open up!”
David advances again. He says:
“The door’s open.”
Silence. No one opens the door. No one responds to David.
“We will escape the field of death,” the Jew continues, “the dogs on the field of death.” His voice suddenly empties of its calm. “We will try.”
David turns once more. The Jew has the same expression still. Sabana’s gaze shifts from the door to the Jew.
Once more from behind the door comes a cry, very loud:
“It’s useless to deny it! You have been seen! Open up!”
Silence.
Silence behind the door. David’s fear returns. He takes his gun in his hand and calls out:
“The door is open! Come in!”
Silence.
Again the voice of the Jew:
“We will try not to build it. We will try.”
David holsters his gun. He turns back to the Jew. A wild spark of savage joy flashes across his eyes.
Sabana understands then that there is another person behind the door.
“Jeanne is with him,” she says.
Suddenly, on the other side of the door, Gringo’s voice bursts out; to David it is as if he has never heard it before:
“We demand that the Jew return David!”
David listens to the voice with great attention.
“David must return!”
David isn’t listening to the voice anymore.
“Dirty Jew, you better give David back!”
“We will try,” says the Jew, his voice breaking.
David isn’t listening to the voice anymore. He looks at the Jew.
“Yes,” says David.
“David has to come back!”
“We will find the forest,” says the Jew.
“Yes,” cries David.
“Dirty Jew! You give back David!”
The Jew lifts his eyes, looks toward the road, the dawning day, the invisible border, he does not hear Gringo. A painful smile—as exhausted and light as his voice—draws across his face. Sabana watches him.
“You dirty traitor! Give back David!”
“We will live,” says the Jew. In the silence between the cries his voice is just a murm
ur. “We will try.”
“Yes!” cries David.
David is overtaken by an involuntary shudder. His face grimaces in silence and then: David laughs.
“David is ours! David must be returned!”
At first timid, still mired in tears, the laughing slowly bursts forth from David’s body, from the cement and stone. The dogs cry out. Laughter issues from David in hiccups. The dogs start to howl in accompaniment with the violin sounds of Gringo’s shouts.
“David!”
David’s laughter takes its shape. No longer smothered. David’s entire body shakes with laughter.
In the half-light another laughter is heard: Abahn. The laughter of David and Abahn goes through the doors of the house of the Jew.
“David, come back!”
The laughter of Abahn and David passes through the walls, unrolls in the half-night of Staadt, spreads across the field of death.
“David!”
The laughter stills the howling.
“David.”
The voice is colorless, just like that: the anger fading, the voice is Gringo’s again.
“I want to speak in the name of our great Party. I will do my duty.”
The laughter comes again, irrepressible, crazy, child-like, mixing with the howling of the dogs, breaking apart the conversation, order, sense, meaning, light. It is the laughter of pure joy.
“Before we took over bad element bad worker he stole from the warehouses of Staadt unworthy worker without class consciousness without valid professional training with individual morality without a future from the Technical School of Staadt out of all the sites in the region whim criminal dilettantism the arrival of the Jew of the traitor for the first time in his life kept his job David was well taken care of two years yes two years spirit of anarchy and insubordination that increased David’s misfortune Two years yes of efforts all right the result was worth the trouble.”
Silence.
The howling of the dogs dies down. The howling of a man this time:
“Dirty Jew! Dog! I’ll teach you that a revolutionary doesn’t give up to anyone! Another six months and David will have you shot, you and your dogs!”
The howling stops.
Silence.
“Open it,” says David.
Silence.
David laughs again.
“I’m going to open the door,” says David, still laughing.
He smiles still.
“I’m opening it!” cries David.
Silence. They wait.
“He’s gone,” says David.
They wait longer. Steps resound on the cobblestones, rapid. They turn, see a shadow pass, etched onto the half-light of the new day.
Abahn and David walk to the table in the shadowy light, they fall into the chair there, laughter of joy still covering their faces.
The Jew goes to the door.
Sabana follows him.
•
“Jeanne,” says the Jew.
They are standing in front of the door, where David just was.
No response.
“Are you there?”
“Yes,” says Jeanne. And after a moment: “He’s gone.”
She falls silent.
“It’s you?” the Jew asks again. “Yes.”
“It’s you,” says Sabana.
The voice of Jeanne is heavy, slow, already seized by the ice of death.
“Don’t open the door,” she says. “I’m not coming in.”
The Jew listens to the voice of Jeanne. He does not answer.
“He went a little far,” Jeanne said. “He spoke in anger because you were laughing.”
“You lie,” the Jew says lightly.
Jeanne does not answer.
“I want to hear your voice,” the Jew says. “You’re David’s wife.”
“Yes. Sabana and I.”
Silence.
“Forget what he said,” says Jeanne.
“He didn’t listen. He didn’t hear,” says Sabana.
“The way I want to understand your voice,” says the Jew.
Jeanne pauses a moment, then says, “I don’t want to meet you.”
“He knows,” says Sabana.
They wait for Jeanne to speak.
“Gringo is gone to the House of the People. Their meeting is still going on. I should go there and join him.”
Silence.
“He has to report on David’s mission,” says Jeanne. “I should go there.” She pauses. “I’m going to go.”
“There’s no meeting,” says the Jew.
Silence.
“Are you still there?” asks Sabana. “I can hear you.”
“Yes.”
Silence.
“What are you waiting for?” asks the Jew. “You can speak without fear.”
“For Sabana to speak to me,” says Jeanne.
Sabana hesitates.
“David isn’t coming back,” she says finally.
A sob is heard. Sabana and the Jew go closer to the door.
“Never?” asks Jeanne.
“Never,” says Sabana. “He doesn’t fully realize it yet. I’ll explain it to him later.”
They do not hear anything from Jeanne. They are still there, against the door.
“I’ll stay with him,” says Sabana.
A brief moan.
“Whatever happens,” says Sabana, “from now on I’ll stay with the Jews.”
Silence.
“Why?” asks Jeanne.
“They love everyone,” says Sabana.
Silence.
Jeanne says, “They want the world to end.”
“Yes,” says Sabana.
Silence.
“You want to say something more?” Sabana asks.
“Pay attention,” says Jeanne.
“Yes,” says the Jew.
“What else?” Sabana asks.
“The dogs.”
“David moved the kennels behind the garages yesterday,” says Sabana, “in the night.”
“That’s better,” says Jeanne.
She falls silent.
“What else?”
“Return to your life,” says Jeanne. “Don’t leave Staadt before nightfall. I won’t leave until your departure.” She pauses. “And above all . . .”
“Yes?”
“STAY TOGETHER,” says Jeanne. “DON’T LEAVE ONE ANOTHER.”
“Yes,” says the Jew.
She falls silent. The Jew calls out:
“You cannot help but follow him?”
There is a long silence. Then: “No. I am Gringo as well. The female Gringo.”
She pauses and then:
“But I’m barren. I can’t bear children.”
She pauses again but speaks no more. They do not press her with any more questions.
She stands there still, silent, just like them.
Then in the silence they hear her body move. She is walking away from the door.
Then, light footsteps on the cobblestone, hers.
Sabana turns back to the field of the dead.
The Jew slowly straightens up. He does not try to make out through the window the form passing by. He does not move. He seems indifferent to everything around him. He has left once more, left again, now he is with her, the one walking away on the deserted road in the new day dawning on Staadt, once more anew in his life.
Acknowledgments
An excerpt appeared in Clockhouse.
Douglas A. Martin gave me encouragement and feedback at the right moment. Jeffrey Zuckerman read an earlier draft and gave invaluable feedback, corrections and suggestions. I am indebted to his keen eye. At every thorny moment when I could not bridge the gap between Duras’s extremely subtle poetic mind and her clean and spare prose style, Nathanaël was there, sometimes to salve, sometimes to scold, but always to guide me toward a deeper and more difficult relationship to the text.
I also thank Libby Murphy, who was my co-translator on L’Amour. Working with her on that proje
ct made me feel capable to tackle this one on my own. Certainly throughout this work I felt her influence and sensibility as a translator guiding me.
There is a sideways debt I offer to Ananda Devi, whose powerful book of poetry and prose When the Night Agrees to Speak to Me I was translating simultaneously. Her sensibility drew me through languages to find this book in English.
Finally, I want to thank Open Letter Books and Chad and Kaija, who are so devoted to literature in translation and to Duras in particular.
Marguerite Duras was born in Giadinh, Vietnam (then Indochina) to French parents. During her lifetime she wrote dozens of plays, film scripts, and novels, including The Ravishing of Lol Stein, The Sea Wall, and Hiroshima, Mon Amour, and was associated with the nouveau roman (or new novel) French literary movement. Duras is probably most well known for The Lover, an autobiographical work that received the Goncourt prize in 1984 and was made into a film in 1992. She died in Paris in 1996 at the age of 81.
Kazim Ali is a poet, essayist, and novelist. In addition to his own writing, he has published a translation of Water’s Footfall by Sohrab Sepehri, and, along with Libby Murphy, he translated L’Amour by Margeurite Duras, which is also available from Open Letter.
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