Sweet Secrets

by Rhonda Sheree

  “So maybe deception isn’t always the worst thing in the world. Especially when the cause is a noble one.”

  “Okay. Fine. I agree.”

  “Callia.” Grayson says my name in a way that chills me. Quiet, cool, and with underlying tension.

  “Gray, what is it?”

  “Callia,” he says again and looks down at his sneakers, then back up at me. “Callia, I’m responsible for your father’s death.”

  Chapter 44

  The music swells around me, enveloping me in the recorded sounds of an tuneless xylophone. Where is that stupid music coming from? The carousel. I watch the painted horses spin around; smiling children wave at their parents, who stand on the side with cameras and cell phones pointed at them. The other children who aren’t big enough to ride alone sit on their parents’ laps on the benches that do nothing more than turn in a slow circle.

  Grayson is saying something to me. Words. Horrible words that I cannot mentally process. My eyes are dry; my throat is even drier. And all I hear is the sound of the music playing in an annoying loop.

  “Callia, did you hear me?”

  I heard him. My ears heard every word but I can’t think. I can’t put the pieces together in a coherent manner. What he is asking me to do is let go of a fact that I knew to be true and accept an alternate reality. Suddenly, the scent of fried dough and hamburger meat turns my stomach. And the music begins to screech in my head like the sound of metal against metal.

  “Can we go?” I ask.

  “Don’t you have anything to say?”

  “Have you told me everything now?” I ask, not able to look at him.

  “Yeah,” he says.

  “This is your big secret with Carmen,” I say. “She was there.”

  He takes in a heavy breath and releases it. “Yeah.”

  I nod. “I want to go home.”

  We are silent the entire way back. I am not angry, nor am I sad. I’m confused, shocked. My daddy did not die of a heart attack.

  The heart attack was a lie. A cover-up. A tidy ending to a messy story.

  An affair? Mom? It doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense.

  I get up and start to walk toward the front entrance of the park. I stop and turn in a circle, confused.

  Grayson puts a hand on the small of my back and leads me in the right direction. I let him.

  “Everyone knew but me.”

  “I don’t think your mother knows,” he says and tosses his Coke into a nearby trashcan.

  “Maybe you’re wrong,” I say, “about the affair, I mean.”

  Grayson shakes his head. “I know this is hard to digest, Callia. I’ve lived a long time feeling guilt for my part in your father’s death. I feel responsible. If I’d never been in Carmen’s room that day…”

  His voice trails off. I say nothing to ease his guilt. When we get inside the car he broaches the subject again, but I shut him down.

  “No. I don’t want to talk about it now.” I get on my cell phone and dial Carmen’s number. She answers on the first ring, but I don’t give her a chance to speak either. “Is Mom there?”

  “Yeah, and she’s not the only one. There’s a—”

  “Gray and I are on our way back to the house. The four of us need to have a conversation.”

  “About what?”

  “About how you killed Dad.”

  I hear a soft thump and figure either her phone or her body just hit the floor.

  Chapter 45

  When we get to my neighborhood, Grayson expertly parallel parks the car in front of my house. I don’t know if I’m ready for the truth. If I reexamine Dad’s death, I’ll have to mourn him all over again.

  “Are you okay?” Grayson asks. I shake my head. Why lie? There have been so many lies already, why add one more to the mix? “You’ve never asked me where I got the name Georgia Kinsey from.”

  “Really, Gray? You want to talk about yourself right now?”

  “Your dad was from Georgia. Macon. And one of his characters in a short piece he let me read was named Kinsey. My pseudonym was my way of remembering him forever.”

  Dad would’ve liked that, but I don’t tell Grayson this. I guess a sadistic part of me wants him to hurt a little while longer. Feel what I’m feeling now. Betrayed. But Grayson has lived with this lie for years. Is it possible he’s suffered enough?

  “You write love stories in my father’s memory,” I say.

  Grayson takes a deep breath. “We’d better get inside. Get it over with.”

  The first thing I hear when I step inside the house is a man’s laughter. There’s tension or nervousness behind his laugh and it strikes a chord in my memory, but I can’t place it exactly.

  Mom comes into the hall and gives me a sorrowful face. I’m taken aback by her appearance. Dressed in a white linen top and matching pants, Mom’s hair is perfectly coiffed, and a bold turquoise necklace hangs from her neck. She wears a matching ring with a bright gold band that complements her manicured nails. The woman looks ten years younger than I remember her and when she comes and wraps her arms around me, her soft perfume smells like freshly printed money. Is her mysterious new guy responsible for bringing my mother back down to planet Earth?

  “Callia, I wish you’d never found out.” She gives me a big squeeze. “Are you okay?”

  I need people to stop asking me if I’m okay. I’m starting to feel like I’m the butt of a joke that flew over my head.

  “Who’s in there, Mom?”

  “Are you in shock?” She searches my eyes. “Are you going to cause a scene in there?”

  “No,” I say a bit impatiently. I want to have this conversation now and I don’t want to wait for a prospective buyer to linger about the house.

  Mom looks at Grayson. “Did you tell her everything?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know how much of it she understood. We were at the state fairgrounds; there was a lot going on around us.”

  “Who’s in there, Mom? A buyer?”

  She stands back and looks at me. “No, I forget his name. You should know,” Mom says and turns to go back in the room. She’s clutching my hand, so I follow behind like a dutiful child.

  “Why should I know?”

  “Because,” Mom says, “he’s your ex-boyfriend.”

  That’s when I see him. Robert Watkins stands up from the recliner, looking like a living, breathing, six-foot-tall hunk of Teuscher extra-dark chocolate.

  “Hey, Callia,” he says. He gives me a hesitant smile. “I made it in time for your reunion.”

  Chapter 46

  “Robert, hi,” I manage to croak out of my dry throat.

  “Who is this?” Grayson asks.

  “This is Robert,” I explain. “Robert Watkins.”

  I stand dumbfounded while Grayson introduces himself.

  “Grayson Lane, nice to meet you.”

  Introductions during times of crisis are obviously not my strong suit. The men shake and inspect each other. One is just as fine as the other, which might account for how they stand, legs spread, chest high, hands fisted. I need to lower the flame in here so they know there isn’t going to be any chest thumping.

  “Robert, uh, what are you doing here?”

  “He said you invited him,” Carmen says and moves in between me and Robert. “That’s what he said, so I let him into the house.”

  I’m sure she would’ve let Robert into the house even if he’d said no such thing. All he’d have to do was unbutton his plaid shirt and show off his sculpted chest and she would’ve fallen into his arms. Standing here between these two men—handsome specimens that are proof that life is unfair and our looks are mainly luck of the draw—I realize that Robert’s beauty has always been skin-deep to me. Grayson, on the other hand, has a hold on me that is beyond physical.

  Comparing these two guys, however, is not going to get to the bottom of Robert’s impromptu visit.

  “I know I told you in Florida that you should come for a visit at some po
int.”

  Robert shoved his hands in his jeans and Carmen’s eyes followed his fingers and lingered far longer than was decent.

  “Can I make everyone a cup of coffee?” Mom asks. “I hope there are a few things left in the kitchen.” I nod in Mom’s direction. “Or maybe I’ll make us some lemonade.” Mom walks away, fanning herself. “All these young men in here are starting to make me feel faint. Carmen, I could use some help.”

  “Grayson,” Carmen says, “you want to go help Momma?”

  “Carmen!” I snap at her.

  She sucks her teeth, then walks away. “Fine, but don’t let anything good happen while I’m gone.”

  “Maybe I should go,” Robert says.

  “No, sit down. Grayson, you too.”

  We scramble about trying to figure out the most appropriate place to position ourselves. I’m first to the recliner so the guys take a seat on the sofa, as far away as they can possibly get away from one another.

  “Oh my goodness,” I say suddenly, as snippets of memory come back to me. “We talked,” I say. “One night on the phone.”

  “Yeah, and you’d been drinking,” Robert says. He looks pleased that I finally remembered. “But I hadn’t realized that you’d drunk-dialed me.”

  “No, that’s not what happened,” I say, although I offer no alternative conclusion. “Grayson, Robert and I served in the military together. We were good friends.”

  “Very good friends,” Robert says, emphasizing the “very.”

  “And we parted amicably when I left,” I say quickly.

  “Hey,” Grayson says. “We all have a past.”

  Suddenly, I’m reminded about the reason why we’d come back to the house so soon. We all have a past, but apparently I don’t know mine as well as I thought I did. I turn my attention back to Robert. I can only put out one fire at a time.

  “How long are you staying?”

  “Just four days. I’ve got a hotel nearby and a rental car. Listen, Callia, I get that this might not be a good time, but you invited me to your reunion.” He looks at Grayson. “Is this the dude you wanted to make jealous?”

  Grayson eases his eyes over to me.

  “Lemonade,” Carmen announces as she reenters the room. She hands Robert—and only Robert— a glass of lemonade. Then she takes a seat in between both of them. Her lip has healed nicely and what remains of a bruise has been strategically covered with makeup. Her clothes are tight and her heels are high, a fact that doesn’t escape Robert’s appreciative eyes. Grayson, on the other hand, has his firmly on me, as though warning me that I have some explaining to do.

  “What are we talking about now?” Carmen asks.

  “I was just saying I’m staying for four days,” Robert says.

  “Have you ever been to Manhattan?” she asks.

  Robert shakes his head. “No, ma’am. I’m from out west.”

  Carmen nearly gushes all over herself at the use of the formal address. Ten bucks says Robert doesn’t even know he said it. Formal terms of address are so ingrained in military vernacular that it becomes as much a part of who we are as our toes.

  “We have to go while you’re here,” Carmen says. “How about tomorrow? Callia, are you up for it?”

  Grayson clears his throat. “Callia has a previous engagement.” He smiles politely at Robert. “We’re going to our reunion,” he looks at me, “together.”

  “I see.” Robert’s clenches his jaw together.

  “Robert,” I say, “I’m so embarrassed by this mix-up.”

  “You’ve wasted my time, Callia,” Robert says. “You really have. But I guess it was good seeing you again. I didn’t think you’d stick to the running and I see that I was right.”

  “Yo, man.” Grayson stands to his full height. “You’d better watch who you’re insulting. You can’t talk to my girl like that.”

  “Calm down,” Robert says, but he stands, too. “I don’t mean any offense. I just meant that I can tell Callia’s getting thick again.”

  “That’s it,” Grayson says and goes to throw a punch. Carmen and I both stand up and yell for them to stop, but it’s Mom who appears and puts an end to it with a whistle so loud and piercing it sounds more like it’s coming from a train than my pint-sized mother. She removes her two fingers from her lips and waves a long wooden spoon at Grayson.

  “I don’t know that fella, but I expect more from you,” she says.

  Slowly he lowers his hand.

  “Gray,” I say. “Robert didn’t mean any offense. Sometimes he makes asshole-ish comments.”

  “Whoa,” Robert says. “That’s how you talk to an invited guest?”

  “I’m not mad at you, Robert, but you’ve got no business making comments about my weight. If you can’t say something nice…”

  “I knew it was a mistake coming here.” Robert turns to go to the door.

  Carmen’s eyes opens in a wide panic. “You’re not going to just let him go, are you?”

  “Robert,” I say and take both of his hands in mine. “My family and I have something very important to discuss. How about you go back to your hotel and when we’re done here I’ll swing around and chat, okay? I’m really sorry I forgot you were coming.”

  Robert looks at his sneakers then back up at me. “I don’t think that’ll be such a good idea. My friends told me I was wasting my time by coming here. I guess they were right.”

  He turns to walk out the door but stops when Carmen shouts, “Wait! You’ve come all this way. You can’t just turn back around and go back to Florida. I mean, really…” she says and tries to make a look of disgust with her tight face, “Florida?”

  Robert takes a deep breath. “You’ve got a better idea?” He licks those full lips of his and Carmen stutters uncharacteristically, “We—we’ve got a new miniature golf place. How about if we go there this evening? You know, kill some time?”

  I look over at Grayson, who shrugs. Yep, it looks like he’s already been forgotten and Carmen’s onto the next one, which seems fine by Gray.

  We all wait patiently while the two finalize the details of the beginning of their summer fling. When Robert is gone and we hear his car pull away from the curb, I fold my arms across my chest and turn to them.

  “Now. I think all of you owe me the truth about what the hell happened to my father.”

  Chapter 47

  “I’ll go first,” Mom says, and sits down on the sofa.

  “Mom,” I say, exasperated already. “You weren’t even home when Dad died. You were at the hair salon with me.”

  “My affair with Grayson’s father ultimately killed him. It was an emotional affair. We never made love. I’ll regret that forever.”

  Ew. I glance over at Grayson, whose face reflects what I’m feeling inside. His eyes drop to the floor and he runs a hand through his curls.

  “Grayson’s dad?” I say and take a seat next to her on the sofa. “Mom, wasn’t he an…” I look over at Grayson and he nods his head as if to say it’s all right, go there. “Wasn’t he an alcoholic? Not really the kind of guy a woman would leave her husband for. Especially a guy like Dad, who was a good guy.”

  “Your dad was a very good guy, Callia. And I wasn’t leaving him for anybody. But our marriage had its ups and downs, and after being with the same person for so long, life became rote. Charlie wasn’t a fall-down drunk, if that’s what you think,” Mom says. Her eyes focus on an object only she can see as she remembers a man I’d never met. “He came over one day, fixed our shower upstairs and we began to talk. Your dad was at school and I’d taken that day off because I’d had a cold. Charlie didn’t care much for kids, and Grayson, for that I’m sorry, too.” Grayson gives a slight nod and sits on the recliner. “He’d been through a lot himself, and raising a son on his own wasn’t easy. Anyway, he made me laugh that day, telling me about some of the things he’d seen in his line of business. Next thing I know, he was coming over a few times a week when your father stayed late at school. Or I’d take walks
and end up at his place, especially when I knew that Grayson was in detention, which it seemed like every week.”

  Grayson chuckles at the memory.

  This is not what I’d expected. I expected tears and cursing and yelling, yes, but not sitting here, listening to Mom talk about an affair—and that’s what it was, emotional or otherwise—as though she was telling me a fairytale. Her voice holds not a hint of regret. She’s simply relaying a fact.

  “What happened that day?” I ask, ready to get to the crux of it all.

  “My dad got a call from your father asking him to come over,” Gray says. “I thought your dad was home alone, and I knew what was going on between your mom and my dad.”

  “You knew?” I ask.

  “I knew. And I didn’t like the idea of them being over at the house together alone. Your dad called mine over to the house under the pretense of fixing a leak, but I got a bad feeling about it, so I came with him.”

  Carmen pulls up an ottoman and sits down. Her flirty disposition disappeared when Robert did. “When they came over,” she says, “I thought it was a perfect time to, you know, fool around with Grayson. I told him to come to my room to see my new stereo.”

  “I said no, but she insisted.”

  “Where was Dad and Charlie?” Charlie. Saying Grayson’s father’s name felt odd. I knew it, but had never used it before.

  “They were in there,” Grayson says, nodding his head toward the kitchen. “Quincy told us to get lost, so stupidly I followed Carmen to her room.”

  “Grayson had never so much as looked twice at me,” Carmen says. “I was annoyed by that.”

  “You mean jealous,” I say.

  “Sure, whatever,” she says. “So I got him into the room and started to kiss on him and he backed away from me. He was having none of it.”

  “And then?” I say when the room is quiet.

  “And then,” Grayson continues the story, “she took her shirt off. I pulled my hands from my jeans to push her away and the necklace that I had, one half of your heart necklace, must have fallen on the floor. I didn’t know where I’d lost it.”