Her lips parted, words of hatred and contempt on her tongue, but before she could say one of them he began to laugh, covering her mouth with his free hand, his eyes teasing her.
'Don't say it,' he said wickedly. 'Your eyes are very expressive, Leigh, and a lady should never use words like those, whatever the provocation.'
Against the strong, silencing hand her mouth made muffled sounds of bitter protest.
She tried again to get up, but he leaned over her, his long, hard body easily defeating her attempt to escape.
He watched her, reading the blue blaze of her eyes with an amusement which seemed untouched by the scathing contempt she was throwing at him. Gradually the hard barrier across her mouth softened. The fingers began to slide gently over her face, outlining the cool, regular features, their tips smooth and caressing. Leigh was furious at the reaction her own body was giving him. She disliked and despised him, but she seemed unable to control the instinctive effect of his touch. There was some sort of chemical explosion which happened every time she set eyes on him. It had nothing to do with the emotions, she told herself contemptuously. It was purely physical, but potent, all the same. However she rationalised it to herself, she found herself, every time, the victim of the same violent upheaval, as though there was a flaw in her character, a hidden abyss from which these searing flames flew upwards in response to the presence of this man.
'If you promise to behave yourself I'll let you go,' he said softly. 'I want to talk to you.
Will you swear not to bolt like a terrified doe if I let go of you?'
Her blue eyes surveyed him smoulderingly, then with a faint sigh she nodded.
He removed his hands, swinging away from her to sit up, his arms laced around his knees, watching her.
Leigh sat up, instinctively tidying her hair and the dark brown silk of her dress. His lazy glance followed every movement, and she became intensely aware of the way he was watching her. Turning her head, she gave him her coldest glance.
'Well?'
'My secretary is leaving to get married,' he said. 'I want you to take the job.'
The casual statement took her breath away, then she gasped aloud. 'Why, you ...'
She closed her lips on the insult she was about to fling at him. After a pause she said stiffly, 'I have a very good job, Mr. Hume. I have no intention of changing it.'
'What's your salary?' he asked in an unmoved tone.
Tightly, she told him.
'I'll double it,' he said, watching her face.
She looked at him, taken aback and suddenly wildly angry. 'You don't honestly expect me to take the job, do you? I can imagine just what functions your secretary would be expected to fulfill, and believe me, I've no intention of so much as considering taking an offer like that! The fact that you've made it is sufficiently insulting.' She scrambled to her feet and faced him as he joined her. 'Goodbye, Mr. Hume. In future will you please leave me alone? I'm not the sort of girl you're looking for.'
'You've no idea what sort of girl you are, Leigh,' he drawled mockingly. 'There are going to be no goodbyes between us, so don't waste your energy in running. You're going to need every ounce of it in the hand to hand fighting.'
Her face was washed with bright colour, her eyes vivid as summer lightning in her face. 'You vain, egotistical swine ... someone ought to teach you a lesson you richly deserve!'
He grinned. 'You can try, Leigh,' he said in his lazily assured voice.
For a wild second Leigh was on the point of acknowIedging that she was tempted to accept his gauntlet of challenge. It would be richly satisfying to take him up on "it dare.
But something buried deep inside her head warned her of the danger of the gamble. She was not quite sure she could win. Mattieson Hume was too dangerous to tangle with, and she was afraid of the outcome.
"I can't be bothered,' she said, lifting her sleek head with a shrug of her shoulders.
'You aren't worth it.'
As she turned to walk away he fell in step beside her, his hand under her elbow, although she tried to pull out of his grasp.
'I'll drive you back to the hotel,' he said.
"I would rather walk. I wanted to do some shopping.' She halted to look at him directly. 'Please, will you leave me alone? You're ruining my morning.'
He looked at her through his dark lashes, a calculating lock on his attractive face.
'This job is a serious offer, Leigh,' he began.
"I know what it is,' she said through tight lips. 'Don't repeat the suggestion or I'll do something we'll both regret.'
'I want a secretary, not a mistress,' he said flatly. 'If you want a reference for me, ask my previous secretary ... she's worked for me for three years and she knows me very well. I've always had a very smooth working relationship with her.'
'I'm sure you have,' she said bitingly.
You wouldn't say it like that if you knew her,' he said, his voice crisp. 'She's a very nice girl. I give you my word of honour there's never been anything between us that I wouldn't want her future husband to know about.'
Its tone was convincing, but she looked at him scathingly. 'Maybe that's true, but your behaviour ever since we met hasn't given me the impression that I can rely on the same decency.'
A wicked light gleamed in his grey eyes. 'Surely you have enough trust in your own ability to hold me at arm's length, Leigh, to take the risk?'
She knew she did not have any trust in her ability to keep him at arm's length, but she also knew the danger of admitting as much, so she said coldly, 'I prefer to stay where I am. I wouldn't be able to see much of my fiance if I was in London while he was in Leicester.'
'On the other hand, think how much you could save,' he pointed out softly.
'I can imagine what Phil would say if I told him you'd offered me that sort of money,'
she burst out. 'His suspicions would be along the same lines as mine, I imagine, and he wouldn't let me accept.'
He grinned. 'Oh, I don't know. London salaries are much higher than those in the provinces, and I'm the head of a very large organisation. The salary I'm offering you isn't wildly above the norm for the sort of position you would be occupying. My present secretary gets a salary just a fraction less than that, in fact.'
She was surprised, her eyes widening at the information.
He laughed. 'Disappointed? Would you rather believe I'm offering to buy other services than your secretarial skills?'
'You can get someone much better for the job in London,' she said, ignoring his suggestion. 'I'm hardly qualified.'
'On the contrary, you are very qualified,' he said blandly. 'You are distinctly lovely to look at, very efficient, I would guess, you don't see me in a glamorous light and you wouldn't make a nuisance of yourself.'
The statements took her breath away. She stared at him.
He began to laugh again at her expression of incredulity. 'I can see you have no idea of the problems confronting an eligible bachelor when it comes to appointing a secretary,' he said with a grin. 'Being a normal male, I like to have attractive girls working for me--they're nice to look at and they please my visitors. But if I get a girl who has her sights set on becoming Mrs. Hume I'm in dead trouble. From time to time I've made a mistake, and got a girl who was blinded by the glamour of working for me.'
'How awkward for you,' said Leigh in mock sympathy, her eyes scornful.
He looked amused. 'Do you expect me to be unaware of the glamour of my job? I run a glossy business. The media have a deceptive brilliance to outsiders. Now you, Leigh, I suspect, have no romantic image of my world.'
'No, none,' she snapped.
'Which makes you an excellent candidate for the job,' he went on blandly. 'I wouldn't need to be wary of finding myself being pursued, would I, Leigh?'
'No, you wouldn't,' she said, her colour high, her eyes blazing. 'Never in a million years.'
'As I suspected,' he agreed silkily. 'We would make a good team. You're safely engaged to another man and
you're not likely to be tempted by the idea of becoming my wife.'
'I wouldn't touch you with a bargepole,' she said tensely.
He looked amused. 'I wouldn't put it quite like that,' he said very softly, and suddenly her heart was racing wildly.
Turning away, she moved towards the car, her slender body stiff. He caught up with her, eyeing her face with grey eyes which read the anger tautening her skin.
'The work would be much more interesting than working for a provincial solicitor,' he said.
'I don't want the job.' she snapped.
'We could at least discuss it...'
'No!'
He opened the car and she got into the passenger seat. He slid behind the wheel and glanced at her averted profile.
'Will you please take me back to the hotel?' she asked through tight lips.
'Just as you like,' he said, shrugging. The engine started and they drove away through the wrought iron gates of the park into the thick traffic. Leigh was still bitterly angry at his suggestion. He might pretend he had other reasons for the offer he had made her, but his behaviour towards her so far had made it obvious that to accept a job which entailed spending hours alone with him in an office would be tantamount to staying in Bluebeard's castle. She did not trust him. She thought of her cousin's pale, broken little face, and anger darkened her blue eyes. He was completely ruthless in his pursuit of what he wanted. No doubt if Ann had slept with him the first night he took her out he would never have asked her out again. It was only the girl's loving innocence which had prevented him from pressing home his advantage. Even Mattieson Hume could not have failed to read the gentle innocence in Ann's soft eyes.
Calmly, he said, 'I think you're making a mistake, Leigh. You and I would suit each other very well. Beneath that elegant exterior you're as tough as leather, aren't you? I understand and respect the ruthless drive your fiance fails to notice in you. I admit I was tempted to knock you off your pedestal--the sight of you aroused the iconoclastic impulse in me. Your fiance may be happy to kneel and worship at the shrine, but adoration isn't my style. I'm offering you mutual equality, not worship.'
'I both love and respect Phil,' she said grittily.
'Just not true,' he retorted. 'How can you really respect a man who jumps when you crook your little finger? A woman of your intelligence needs a stronger opposition than that.' He shrugged easily. 'I can only suspect you like being the stronger partner of the two. Maybe Phil is what you want, a man who can always be dominated and manipulated.'
'I do not manipulate him!' she exclaimed, stung.
'Of course you do,' he said impatiently. 'It was as plain as daylight the first time I set eyes on you. I watched you operate from a distance and I was half irritated, half impressed by the way you handled him. When he got really upset you kissed him and that little peck was enough to make him happy again, wasn't it? You're a very clever angler, Leigh. You know how to reel the fish in with the minimum of effort.'
'Stop talking about me like that!' she snapped. 'That may be how you behave with the women in your life, but I'm not you.'
'We're more alike than you'll admit,' he told her, his eyes on the road.
The statement had a curious effect on her. Her body seemed to burn with unexpected, blazing heat. She sat staring out of the window, fighting desperately against the emotions which were sending her blood racing round her body, her nerves jumping violently.
'You're ambitious, aren't you?' he asked, as if unaware of the effect of what he had said. 'If you work with me you'll be stretched to the limit, Leigh. It isn't an easy job. It demands a good brain, a cool head and a great deal of work. But it is rewarding.' He pulled up outside the hotel and looked round at her.
She had got herself partially under control again. She met his dissecting glance coolly.
'Not rewarding enough,' she said icily. 'I like to work for people I respect.'
He shrugged and leaned forward, releasing the door handle so that she could get out. 'A pity,' he said.
'Goodbye, Mr. Hume,' her voice replied bitingly.
He laughed. 'You know me better than that, Leigh,' he said, mockery in every line. 'I'll be seeing you.'
She slammed the door and walked into the hotel.
Lunching with Phil she looked at him, wondering angrily if there could be any truth in Mattieson Hume's remarks about the way she acted towards him. She had never seen herself in that light, nor had she regarded Phil as a man easy to manipulate. Their eyes met and he smiled at her lovingly. She returned the smile and looked back at her plate.
The truth behind those bitter, stinging accusations Mattieson Hume had made was that Phil loved her more than she loved him, and it was that gap which made the difference.
When one person was more deeply in love, it put them at a disadvantage. She was anxious as she admitted the fact. There was one who kissed, while the other merely accepted the kisses. Phil was suffering from the weakness of loving her more than she could love him.
They talked while they drank their coffee, and he eyed her in some anxiety. 'You're so subdued, darling. Are you bored?'
She looked at him directly. 'No, just thinking.'
'About what?'
'Us,' she admitted.
His eyes were grave. 'What about us, Leigh?'
'You were right when you said the other night that it would be madness to get married while we were not sure,' she said huskily.
His face whitened and he put down his cup. 'Leigh, I...'
'Please, let me finish,' she said quickly. 'Phil, I've been unfair to you. When you asked me to marry you, I accepted because I was fond of you and liked being with you, but I never felt the same way as you do ... I knew that, even then. I didn't think it mattered. I thought we would work it out somehow.'
'And now?' he asked, as if he could hardly phrase the question through his white lips.
She met his eyes. 'If we marry as we are, something disastrous may happen. Love has to be equal. You'll begin to resent and hate me if we get married as we planned. I think you should accept that job in Saudi Arabia. It will give us a breathing space, time for me to work out whether or not I love you the way you want me to.'
He stared at her, his face shaken. 'Leigh, if I leave you for six months someone else will take you away from me.'
She shook her head. 'I promise I'll only let that happen if I fall in love myself, and, Phil, that could happen even if we married today. If I was going to fall in love you couldn't stop it, could you? Better for us to find out before we get married than afterwards.'
'Oh, God, I should have held my tongue,' he said to himself. 'I put these ideas into your head, after the wedding, didn't I? I've dug my own grave.'
She put her hand on his gently, shaking her head. 'Sooner or later this would have had to happen because we both know, that what you said is true. It isn't fair to you if I marry you without being able to respond as passionately as you want me to.'
His mouth was wry with pain. 'Half a loaf is better than no bread,' he sighed.
'Not always,' said Leigh. Mattieson Hume had opened her eyes to the truth about the relationship with Phil, but he had also opened her eyes to her own needs and feelings.
She detested and despised him, but he only had to touch her for her whole body to burn into terrifying life. Phil had never done that to her. She suspected miserably that when she was with Phil he was feeling very much the same way she had felt in Mattieson Hume's arms today. The thought of marrying him, knowing how little she could give him which would ease the pain of his desire, was horrifying. Her reaction to Mattieson Hume might only be a physical, chemical reaction, but it was monumental, and she guessed that to offer a substitute for that to Phil would be nothing short of cruel. Phil had a right to know what it was like to be given back the love he offered.
Anything less would be immoral.
Phil gave a long sigh. 'Are you trying to let me down gently, Leigh?' he asked after a pause.
Their eyes met. She smil
ed at him ruefully. 'I'm giving us both a chance to think more clearly,' she said. 'Away from me, you'll be able to see the situation as it is.'
'And our engagement?' he asked roughly. 'Does it still stand?'
She nodded. 'Until you ask for your ring back. Phil.'
'I won't do that,' he said.
Leigh did not answer. Although she-did not turn her head she had suddenly become aware that Mattieson Hume was on the other side of the dining-room; her ears had picked up the dark timbre of his voice, and she caught the silvery chime of laughter answering him. Her tense stiffness eased. He was with a woman. At least, she told herself, she could relax for the moment. If he was with someone he would be no threat to her.
Phil glanced at his watch. 'Time for the second session,' he said huskily. 'I'll have to go.'
Leigh stood up. 'I'll walk with you,' she offered. 'I think I'll take a look around this part of London this afternoon.'
He was looking rather shaken, she realised, glancing at him in affectionate sympathy.
Her hand slid into his and his fingers gripped it tightly. She pressed her shoulder against him, murmuring gently, 'Don't look so grim, darling. Six months isn't a lifetime.'
'It is when you want someone as badly as I want you,' he muttered under his breath.
As they walked out of the dining-room she was deeply tempted to look round.
Curiosity about Mattieson Hume's female companion was eating at her. But she controlled the impulse, concentrating instead upon Phil. As they left the hotel they ran into Fiona and Jefferson, who hailed them enthusiastically. They walked along together, talking, then Leigh left them and went for a long stroll around the London streets.
She returned to the hotel later in the afternoon, and went up to her room to have a shower and change for the evening.
She was just towelling herself when the telephone rang. She answered it, the towel wrapped around her loosely, and felt an electric shock of surprise as she recognised the voice on the other end.
'Where have you been all afternoon?' it asked directly without identifying itself.
For a second or two Leigh breathed thickly, then she said in a pretence of bewilderment. 'Who is speaking, please?'
Charlotte Lamb - Pagan Encounter Page 5
