On her way home from the office Nicole decided how to prepare for Jordan’s visit.
Dining inside the house at the breakfast bar was an option, but the table and chairs she’d gotten for the deck were more comfortable. Besides, enjoying the wholesome evening sunlight was better than them being alone in the house with the bedroom upstairs.
Because they’d be on the deck, she securely close the louvered doors around the hot tub, latching them so they couldn’t be accessed from outside. It was a feature she’d insisted upon so she could feel safe using the hot tub alone in the evening. It hadn’t occurred to her that it could also provide protection against impulse.
Honesty compelled her to admit that she wanted to spend another night with Jordan. But while one slip in her resolve was all right, another might send her in a direction that could only lead to heartache.
Chapter Fifteen
JORDAN DIDN’T BELIEVE the evening would end with pleasure, but people sometimes changed their minds. It was improbable, to say the least, considering what Nicole had said, and he would be wise to resist temptation regardless. One option that could help was not restocking his wallet with condoms. Would having no protection available help him resist?
He pictured Nicole in the hot tub, her skin flushed and eyes filled with allure.
Maybe not.
He’d never been reckless and was always prepared, no matter what. There were several things he was genuinely old-fashioned about—especially that a man didn’t make a baby without taking responsibility for it. So if he wanted to maintain his carefree bachelor life, protection was the route.
Yet a voice inside Jordan’s head had begun teasing him, asking if the single life was as great as he believed. And what if one of the reasons he’d rejected fatherhood was because he was sure he’d be rotten at it? Maybe he wouldn’t be. And was the reason he wanted to be honest with Nicole about the past because he couldn’t see them building a trusting relationship if he kept that kind of secret?
The cold shock of his soul-searching brought him up short. He’d never doubted that being single and free of encumbrance was what he wanted. It stunned him to know that Nicole, of all women, was tempting him to consider alternatives. Could he actually contemplate taking the proverbial plunge?
The chilling irony of it struck Jordan. Since Nicole appeared genuine when saying she wasn’t interested in marriage, he’d better not fall for her.
It was probably stupid to tell her about their parents. Personally he’d put the matter aside, having had fourteen years to deal with it, but it might upset her. Then it struck him that he still wasn’t giving Nicole enough credit to assume she’d react like a teenage girl.
He drove to her house after picking up food from his favorite Thai restaurant. As he got out, Chelsea came down the stairs from her apartment.
“Hi, Jordan.” She smiled at him cautiously.
“Hey, Chelsea.” Jordan wished his sister didn’t seem so uncertain, but she appeared to be getting more confident. When he’d gone through the Moonlight Ventures reception area earlier in the day she’d been dealing with a man who was insisting on an immediate meeting with Nicole. Chelsea had handled it so competently he had realized that she’d finally gotten what she most needed, a fresh start.
Blast it all. That was another thing in Nicole’s favor. She had hired Chelsea and was obviously giving her the support needed to make the transition to Seattle. And while Chelsea wouldn’t say anything about the agency, it was obvious that she was filled with admiration for her new boss.
“I’m, uh, going for a walk,” she said. “Have a nice evening.”
“You, too.” Jordan continued up the walkway.
“Is something wrong?” Nicole queried when she opened the door. “You look grim.”
“Not wrong, exactly.” It was hard to break the habit of keeping everything to himself, but she seemed to understand people in a way that he obviously didn’t. “I just wish I knew how to connect with my sister better.”
He wasn’t sure what more he should say. Chelsea was the one who had taken their childhood the hardest. Sweet and gentle, she had been frightened by their parents’ relentless fighting—arguments that had often gotten physical.
“Oh?” Nicole said, and he was sure she was trying to sound noncommittal.
“What is it?” he asked. “I can tell you have an opinion.”
“I have an opinion about practically everything.”
She closed the door behind him and started toward the back of the house. On the deck, he put the food on the table and looked at her with a fixed expression he’d once found useful as a reporter in getting someone to give him an answer.
“Well?”
“I think that your intense personality could be daunting for someone like Chelsea.”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m a very laid-back guy.”
Nicole laughed and the sweet sound and movement of her body almost made him forget his affront at the suggestion he somehow intimidated his own sister.
* * *
NICOLE SAW JORDAN’S eyes darken with desire and held herself together with a firm grip—not easy since her first impulse was to suggest they forget dinner and head upstairs.
So much for resolutions.
She put her hands on her hips. “Jordan, you’re the last guy I’d call laid-back. As a kid you were ambitious and charged ahead to get anything you wanted and you don’t seem to have changed. Even when you relax, you do it with a fierce determination. All of that could leave a sibling feeling overwhelmed, especially a sensitive younger sister. I’m not saying you did anything wrong or that you intended to make her feel that way. It’s just family dynamics.”
The lines on his face smoothed from annoyed to thoughtful, and she dropped her gaze. She didn’t need to see how expressive his face was or remember the way his lips had kissed practically every inch of her body.
“Okay,” he said slowly, “how do I stop overwhelming her?”
“I’m not a relationship guru.”
“I’d still like your opinion.”
That was new.
“I don’t think you should try to change who you are, but you could listen to her more without making judgments.”
He frowned. “You think that’s what I do?”
“Come on, Jordan, I’ve heard you tell her how to live or do things at least twice since you started the interviews with me. So I suspect you do it other times as well.”
He muttered an expletive under his breath, then shrugged. “I’ve been trying, but shouldn’t a brother or sister try to help if they see someone they love making a terrible mistake?”
“I suspect you’re talking about the guy Chelsea was dating down south.”
“You know about Ron?”
“She’s mentioned him.”
“Terri and I both tried to get her away from that manipulative creep. Was that wrong of us?”
“Probably not, but you may also be in the habit of assuming she can’t handle anything for herself.”
“You might be right,” Jordan admitted with obvious reluctance.
Nicole released a gasp of mock surprise. “You think I could be right about something? I may die of heart failure.”
“Amusing. Okay, enough of that. I picked up the pad Thai and chicken curry. I see you have plates and silver ready, so let’s eat.”
“Nothing to say concerning the mystery first?”
“If it’s all right with you, I’d rather talk afterward.”
“Sure.” Nicole didn’t know what to think. His manner was subtly different and she didn’t believe it was merely because they’d spent the previous night in bed together. Asking her opinion about Chelsea could be another example. Were some cracks forming in his cynical surface, or was she just imagining things?
The deck had been the right choice for din
ner. The spacious backyard, tall trees and early evening sky fostered a comfortable atmosphere. While it wasn’t possible to relax and completely forget the desire tugging at her, at the very least she was able to suppress it.
“I was wondering something,” he said partway through the meal.
“What’s that?”
“Why did you leave before I woke up this morning?”
“I needed to get to the office.”
“I think it’s more than that. Were you embarrassed? It isn’t as if I believe those salacious scandal papers and the party-girl stories they wrote about you, especially now that we’ve gotten reacquainted. Hopping from bed to bed doesn’t fit the person I’ve gotten to know. Why did you leave so quickly?”
She sighed. “It’s nothing mysterious. I just don’t enjoy the way a guy stares at me when I fail to look like an airbrushed magazine layout, and it’s impossible to look that way first thing in the morning.”
His brow creased, but Nicole launched into asking him about the history of Fiji. Considering his aggressive curiosity about everything, it wasn’t surprising that he knew quite a bit.
After they’d eaten and cleared the table, Nicole poured cups of coffee and sat back to listen.
Jordan didn’t seem primed for immediate disclosures, so she waited patiently. A variety of emotions crossed his face—pain, embarrassment, anger, even sadness. What could evoke all that?
“It’s about our parents,” he finally started, absently stroking Toby, who’d been begging for attention.
“That’s what I figured.”
“Aside from them, I may be the only one who knows what happened. Did you ever wonder why our mothers started hating each other?” he asked.
“Sure, but to be honest, I was mostly grateful I didn’t have to see you as much, though you acted even worse at school.”
He let out a short, hard chuckle. “I wanted to believe it was partly your family’s fault. I’m sorry I behaved badly.”
“I already told you it isn’t a big deal any longer.”
“So you did. Well, in a nutshell, my mom tried to seduce your father. He rejected her and said he would tell his wife, which ended the friendship.”
“Wow. That explains a lot. How did you find out?”
“They didn’t know, but I was in the hammock around the side of the house and overheard the whole nasty mess.”
Nicole winced. “That’s a terrible thing for a teenager to deal with.”
Jordan gazed at her, surprise in his eyes. “You aren’t upset?”
“I wouldn’t be thrilled to find out my dad had an affair after believing he was faithful to Mom all these years, but about your...” She stopped and focused on her coffee cup. No matter what else she might be, Delia Masters was still Jordan’s mother.
“Go ahead and tell me what you were going to say.”
“It isn’t necessary.”
“Let’s be honest with each other about this.”
She took a breath. “Okay. The revelation about your mother isn’t shocking. She had a reputation.”
“My father did, too,” Jordan added harshly. “And they both deserved it. As long as I can remember, they fought constantly and blamed each other for their serial infidelities.”
A part of Nicole ached for the boy she’d known. Underneath his bravado he must have been hurting deeply. It was ironic that he’d taken his teenage angst out on her since the George family had been the wounded party, but kids that age weren’t always rational.
“Do you hate your parents for your childhood?”
His eyebrows lifted. “No, and life got decidedly better after they finally split. The thing with your family was the last straw.” He paused. “On second thought, I probably hated them for a while. What teenager doesn’t hate their folks occasionally? In the end, I still love them.”
“That’s nice, and I’ve got to say that while they made a lot of mistakes, they couldn’t have been total disasters at parenting.”
“How do you mean?”
She lifted her shoulders. “All three of you turned out to be productive adults. You and Terri have edges, but you’re still decent people, and Chelsea is a love. That doesn’t happen in every dysfunctional family. I’m sure you’ve all got scars and issues you’ve had to wrestle with, but your mom and dad were either amazingly lucky or they did something right.”
Jordan stared at her with eyes wide and inscrutable. Then, after a long moment, he lifted her hand from the table and kissed it gently.
“Thank you for saying that.”
* * *
NICOLE HELD IT together for the short time Jordan remained at the house. When she walked him to the door, he turned and kissed her again. But it was a gentle caress with none of the teasing or passion he sometimes displayed, and it was also so brief she didn’t have time to respond.
“Thanks for the evening,” he said gruffly.
“You’re the one who brought dinner.”
Then he was gone.
It was best this way, though if she was any judge of the matter, he felt as much attraction as ever. But in addition to the revelations he’d felt necessary to share, Jordan may have discovered some regrets after all. She wasn’t the one who was supposed to be objective—he was. Bad enough to have had a one-night stand. Anything ongoing would only compound the situation.
Still, his restraint was probably due to her warning that he wouldn’t be staying. Not all men respected “no,” but she suspected Jordan did. He might test the waters occasionally, but he’d never drag a woman into them.
She smiled wryly as she recalled him describing himself as laid-back. Hardly. It might be how he saw himself—an easygoing guy swinging in a hammock by the beach—but it wasn’t him. On the other hand, he might simply feel he was laid-back in contrast to his intense parents.
As for Jordan’s revelations? Delia Masters had been a strikingly attractive woman, but Nicole’s father had chosen fidelity. It was nice to know. Sadly, Jordan had something less pleasant to remember.
After cleaning up the few dinner dishes, Nicole decided to spend time in the hot tub. Sensual memories swirled along with the curls of steam gently rising in the cool air. But she didn’t want that to be the only connection in her mind.
Opening up the cover, she saw her bathing suit floating lazily in the water. Her immediate impulse was to slam the cover back down again and put the house on the market. Instead she rescued the bikini, hung it up to dry, and forced herself to sit in the bubbling water while she considered her past and future.
Had she given up on the idea of love and family too quickly? The end of her engagement had felt like the last straw; she’d grown so tired of getting hurt. Now she wondered. While her well-known face—and undeserved notoriety, thanks to the paparazzi—would complicate a relationship, the right man might be able to handle it. Even Jordan might be able to do it...except for all the reasons he wouldn’t want to.
Angry, she slapped the water and got out. How could she consider the possibility that Jordan was the right man for anything? He’d spent his life determined to be a bachelor, traveling the world. His idea of commitment was spending the weekend with a temporary companion in a hammock built for two.
* * *
CHELSEA TURNED AND gazed in awe at Mount Rainier rising through a gap in the trees. It was the second Saturday she and Barton had hiked and she was getting the feeling he wouldn’t mind making it a tradition. To think that she’d spent her whole life in a city and had never thought of taking a day off to do something so wonderful. When she was a kid they’d gone on a few vacations to national parks, but spending a Saturday or Sunday in nature had generally meant visiting a crowded beach.
“You doing okay?” Barton asked, looking back at her.
“Great. I’m sure going up the stairs to my apartment several times a day has helped my climbi
ng muscles.”
“You appear to be in good shape.”
She wasn’t sure whether it was a compliment in the usual sense, but his eyes seemed to show approval.
On both hikes they had chatted occasionally, other times just concentrated on their surroundings. She was glad he was okay with them not constantly talking. Ron had...she promptly cut off the thought. It was getting easier to stop looking at the world through Ron-colored lenses.
Even though he didn’t know it, Barton had been a huge help. He was sane, sensible and nice, and could tell the goofiest jokes. No wonder kids seemed to think he was the greatest guy on earth.
The previous Saturday, they’d come back early because Barton had gotten a call from his closest college friend. His friend’s wife had gone into early labor, so Barton had gone to the hospital to bring his godson back to his house. Barton hadn’t expected her to stay, but she’d wanted to. Charlie was a cute five-year-old who had begged her to eat dinner with them and play, declaring that “you need at least three people for a real game.”
The evening had been loads of fun, although it had also made her sad. She’d expected to have kids by this point in her life, and spending time with Charlie was a reminder that so many of her hopes and dreams hadn’t come true yet. Still, other things were great and her job was one of them. Another of the Moonlight Ventures partners had been there the past several days. Rachel was as nice as Nicole.
They rounded a curve in the trail and Seattle’s distant skyline broke into view. Amazingly, her cell phone rang, though she couldn’t imagine a cell tower being anywhere nearby. Pulling the phone out, intending to turn it off, she saw the call was from Ron. Somehow he’d gotten her new number.
Suddenly angry, she hit the button to answer. “Hello,” she said crisply. Barton had moved a few feet further along the trail, perhaps to give her privacy.
“Honey, you haven’t been answering my calls or getting back to me,” Ron said in his most reproachful I’m-hurt-but-I’ll-forgive-you voice.
“That’s because I don’t want to talk.”
“I know you don’t mean that.”
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