by D. C. Gambel
I groaned again. “It’s not like that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
Shawn watched me for a minute, almost like he didn’t believe me. “Gaby, I know that with this crazy angel blood thing that you two are drawn together and it wouldn’t surprise me if…” he let his words fall away. I wasn’t sure if it was because he thought I knew where he was going or if he just didn’t know how to say it.
“Nothing happened.”
“Okay,” he gave me a curt nod. “But, just so you know, if you wanted something to happen, you are well within your right to be able to and you shouldn’t feel guilty. You’re single now and if that’s what heals you…”
“Stop,” I cut him off. I wanted to yell at him. How dare he insinuate that? Grayson was my world and I still felt a hole in my chest from the loss. Instead I spoke calmly because even though his words upset me, I knew he was just trying to be a friend. “I understand what you’re saying, but it’s only been a few weeks. I’m not ready.” And I wasn’t sure if I ever would be. Something inside me was telling me that I still had to have hope.
“That’s fine if you’re not, but when you are, don’t let the guilt overpower the desire to move on with your life. I know that Grayson didn’t like Sebastian, mainly cause of the bond you two have, but I know he’d want you to be happy. Just remember that, okay?”
“Okay,” I nodded.
The room where I stood was cold and damp. The hard cement floors were filthy covered with dirt and dead bugs, along with some other stuff that I didn’t care to analyze. I looked around and saw metal bars on either side of me but it didn’t look like I was caged in. Actually, it appeared I was standing between the cages in a makeshift hallway. I padded across the floor wishing that I had shoes on; I had no idea why I was barefoot. I looked into each of the cells and saw them empty. As I moved further down, I was drawn to something. I was almost to the end when I found myself anchored to the floor. It couldn’t be? I reached up to grab the bars so I could pull myself closer, to peer between them for a better look, but when I grabbed them, my hands grasped nothing and I fell into the cell. What the… I shoved myself up off the floor and looked over my shoulder. The bars were still there, they hadn’t actually vanished.
I moved to my knees and realized that I was incredibly close to what I had seen.
“Grayson?” My voice was breaking as I spoke. The head that was sagging between its shoulders wobbled a bit, but lifted up. I gasped. “Grayson!” I moved to hug him, but my hands swiped through him like a ghost. I could feel the tears streaming down my face. This was a horrible dream. After weeks of nothing and now that I was finally able to dream about him, I couldn’t even touch him.
“Gaby?” his brow was knitted with confusion. “Am I dreaming?”
I shook my head. “No, but I am.”
He gave me a small smirk. “Couldn’t you have at least dreamt us into a nicer place instead of this shithole?”
I couldn’t help but laugh and he smiled to. “I know. I was just thinking that, along with this.” I tried placing my hand on his arm, but it just fell through.
“Well, that’s lousy.” He looked up at me and his face softened. “What are you doing here?”
“I don’t know. I’ve wanted to see you so bad, but this is the first time I’ve been able to dream about you.”
“Here,” he patted to the spot by him. “Come sit next to me.” I moved, but when my body pressed to his we blended together. I huffed and tried to adjust. “No. Let it happen. When it does it feels like I can sense you a little.” I gave him a straight lipped smile that was trying to hide the sadness, but did as he asked. Grayson held his hand out and I placed my palm against his letting my hand blend with his. I tried to focus on it and he was right. I could feel him, but it was a whisper of a touch and even though it was torture to be so close and barely feel him, I let it happen because a little Grayson was better than no Grayson.
“God, I miss you,” he mumbled against my head.
“I miss you too.” We both looked down at my hand and I was starting to fade. “I think I’m waking up,” I cried.
“Shh… baby.” Grayson tried to comfort me, but couldn’t hold me the way he had before to calm me. “Promise you’ll dream of me again?” He said as I faded more.
“I promise,” I said trying to focus on him with tear filled eyes.
I woke in bed next to Shawn with his hands on my shoulders shaking me into consciousness.
“Gaby, are you alright? I heard you crying in your sleep, but I couldn’t wake you up?”
I buried my head against his chest and cried. I cried for the moment I had and lost, even if it was only a dream.
Shawn and I decided that with Mr. and Mrs. Alexander gone, we no longer needed to stay in the apartment that I had once shared with Grayson. It was still too hard for me and I honestly think that Shawn was worried I’d vanish again if I was left alone there while he had to work. Saturday, we piled ourselves and some of my belongings into a taxi and headed back to Shawn’s apartment.
We spent the weekend getting settled then we vegged out in the living room with ice cream and watched cheesy horror movies; the ones with such bad effects that it was almost criminal to call them horror movies. On Sunday Clive stopped by. It had been awhile since I had seen him. I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that Shawn had been busy tending to me and Clive was suffering for it.
“Don’t worry about it, Gaby. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through and if having Shawn around helps, then that’s the way it needs to be for now.”
“Thanks, Clive, but I know you two still need time together.”
After a long talk going back and forth between the three of us, they both had finally conceded to going out together that weekend.
“Don’t worry about me,” I said after Shawn tried using me as a reason not to go. “I’ll head over to The Angelo Tower and talk with Damien or hang out with Jade. If that’s a bust, there’s always my mother.”
“I’m sure she’d be happier than you about that.”
Sebastian texted me a few days later; I found it impressive that he had mastered the art of modern technology when Damien couldn’t even be bothered to use a landline.
Sebastian: I stopped by your apartment to see how you’re doing, but you’re not there.
Me: Shawn and I moved back to his
I waited a moment for his reply, but set my phone down when there was a knock at the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Sebastian.
“Seriously?” I said after I opened the door.
“What? I just texted you.”
“Not that you were coming over,” I explained.
“Oh,” he pulled his phone from his pocket and began texting.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you dare?”
Sebastian gave me a devilish grin. Leaning against the doorway he asked, “How are you today?”
He was the only one that asked me that. Everyone either avoided the subject or, if they didn’t know that Grayson was dead, would ask if I had any news. I gestured for Sebastian to come in.
“I’m not sure,” I replied. If he had asked me the morning after I dreamt about Grayson, I knew my response would’ve been different. I was miserable that day and then slowly I got back to the standard grief-stricken that I had grown accustomed to since Grayson passed.
He looked around and saw several male outfits littered across the living room and kitchen.
“What’s all this?”
“Oh, that’s just Shawn. He’s hoping one of them will speak to him.” I had asked Shawn why they couldn’t speak to him in his closet or at their least, his room, but he explained he needed to see them regularly to know which one would work.
“Speak to him how?”
“He’s trying to figure out which one to wear on his date with Clive on Friday.”
“The human?”
I nodded. It sometimes seemed that supernaturals were sli
ghtly specious racist. They always called someone out by their specious. I had been called vampire, half blood, day walker, just like I had heard Shawn be called werewolf, Sebastian angel, and Grayson called human, of course that was before I turned him. No one ever pointed it out that doing this could be deemed rude. It was just the way things were.
“What are you going to do that night? I know you’re not just going to sit around the apartment by yourself.”
Sebastian was referencing to the day he saw me making a break from the apartment right before he found me. I had barely been left alone for an hour before the loneliness overwhelmed me.
“No, I’m not sure just yet, but I don’t want to be by myself.”
Sebastian seemed nervous. He fidgeted and moved something across the ground with his shoe. I saw him swallow hard past a lump in his throat and worry his lip.
“What?” I asked.
“You could always have dinner with me?” He kept his eyes down as he spoke, but turned them to me once he finished.
I gaped at him for a moment. “Like a date?”
“No,” he shook his head quickly. His expression, horrified how I could jump to that conclusion.
“Cause it sure sounds like a date.”
“Gaby, did San Antonio feel like a date?”
It hadn’t, even though there were times that the angelic bond taken over for me. It had felt fun, carefree, and happy. “I suppose not.”
“I want to take you to dinner, like I did in San Antonio; just you and me with no expectations. You can even pay for yourself, if you want.”
I thought about it for a moment. San Antonio had been amazing. It was the first time that I hadn’t been overwhelmed by my grief. I wasn’t sure if it was doing something that I had never done or if it was the company, but it was nice not to feel the heartache.
“Okay. Dinner as friends, like San Antonio. No expectations.”
“Done. I’ll pick you up at nine.” He turned to leave.
“Oh and Sebastian,” he looked at me over his shoulder. “Let’s keep it stateside.”
“No promises.”
Friday, both Shawn and I got ready to go out. I had chosen a pair of high rise, dark gray slacks with a red, low cut blouse. I like the pants because they showed off my waist, but fit lose all the way down my legs. They were even long enough that I was able to wear my heels.
“You look like you’re headed to work,” Shawn said when I presented myself after I was ready.
“Thanks…”
“I mean you look gorgeous, just work gorgeous.”
“Well, he says it’s not a date, so I don’t want to dress…”
“Like you think it’s a date?”
“Exactly.”
“That makes no damn sense, baby girl. And are you sure that he really thinks it’s not a date or that he was just saying that so you’d go out with him.”
“I didn’t even follow that, but I think the answer is no I don’t.”
Shawn sighed. “It’s just strange. I mean he was all about trying to get you to break up with Grayson before and now that there is no one standing in his way, he’s content keeping it friendly?”
A short while later there was a knock at the door. I was really hoping it was Clive, but felt the angelic tie flare. I had even debated not telling Shawn that I was going out with Sebastian, but then I thought doing that might make it into a bigger deal than it was. When I moved to get it, Shawn stopped me.
“I got it.” He put on his big brother face and answered it. “Angel.”
“Werewolf,” Sebastian replied. There was that supernatural racism again.
“I hope you know that there had better be no funny business,” Shawn said.
“Shawn!” I exclaimed.
Sebastian chuckled, not seeming offended by it. “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“Alright then,” Shawn turned to me. “You two have fun.” Shawn hugged me and whispered, “Remember what I said.”
His words confused me at first. It took me a moment, but then I remembered what he said about not feeling guilty. No matter how many times I told Shawn that this wasn’t a date, he still wanted me to know that, if it was, then he wouldn’t judge me and I loved him for that.
I nodded to him and followed Sebastian from the apartment. It was then that I took him in.
“You look great,” I said just a bit surprised. Sebastian was normally extremely relaxed in his clothing, but tonight he was dressed in a deep blue suit that had a sort of sheen to it when the light hit it. A pale rose colored tie that stood out against his white dress shirt.
“Thanks. So do you. Are you ready?”
“Absolutely.”
When we made it outside the lobby, Sebastian stepped up to the curb to hail us a taxi. It was odd since I knew he disliked them.
“What no dissipating tonight?”
He smiled at me crookedly. “You said to keep it stateside. I even kept in local.”
Once we were in the cab and the address given, we were on our way.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
After a while, we pulled up outside a high upper-class restaurant called A Taste of Diamonds. It was well known and had a wait list a mile long. Even some of the A listers had a hard time getting in. It was by far the most expensive place to eat in town.
“Oh my god! How did you get us in here?” This was definitely not what I had expected.
“When you’re friends with vampires, anything is possible.”
The valet opened the cab door. Sebastian stepped out then held his hand out for me. I took it completely preparing myself for the overwhelming pull that came when we touched, doing so made it seem less overwhelming.
Once inside we were ushered quickly to our table. Remarkably, there was no wait. I suppose it made sense. If your bill was going to be enough to buy a small car they had better not let anyone wait.
Sebastian placed an order for a bottle of some expensive sounding French wine and we ordered a first course of their featured appetizer of roasted mushroom. When it was served there were only four.
The longer we sat there the more uncomfortable things seemed to be. It was feeling like a bad first date. It wasn’t the carefree way San Antonio had been. Conversation was bleak and it just felt awkward and forced.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Sebastian asked. I had been staring at an elderly couple that was cuddled up on the same side of a booth, thinking how amazing it must be to be together that long and still feel that strongly.
“Honestly?” He nodded in reply. “Not really.”
Sebastian let out a deep sigh. “Oh thank god.”
“What?” I laughed curiously.
“Gaby, this isn’t me,” he gestured to his suit and our surroundings.
“Then why did you do all this?”
“I thought this is what you’d enjoy. The fancy clothes, the expensive dinner.”
“Sebastian,” I leaned across the table placing my hand over his. “You didn’t have to try so hard. San Antonio was just us being easy and carefree. That’s all I wanted.”
He gave me a half smile. “You wanna get out of here?”
“Please.”
He threw down more than enough cash to cover our drinks and appetizer, plus a generous tip before grabbing my hand, pulling me from the building.
We walked the streets going nowhere in particular. As we passed a homeless man, Sebastian stopped and gave him his suit jacket and tie. The man thanked him. I smiled at Sebastian as he undid the cuffs on his sleeves and the top few buttons on his shirt. He looked more like himself and not who he thought I wanted him to be.
As we walked, we stumbled across a street fair.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Famished.”
As we strolled through the fair, we savored as many varieties of fried food as we could get our hands on.
“Which one is that?” He asked
as I made a loud moaning noise the moment it touched my taste buds.
“Fried Oreo,” I spoke with my mouth still full of the yummy goodness.
“Do you mind?” He asked gesturing to the paper tray I held. I held it up to him offering him one. There were more than I could eat.
His eyes widened as he tasted its amazingness. “That is fantastic.”
“I know, right?”
As we wandered, we came to a clearing that had patches of people in their own groups dancing to the sound of a small band on a makeshift stage. We stood a good distance away listening to the music. All of a sudden, Sebastian pulled my hand dragging me into the crowd.
“What are you doing?” I asked when we abruptly stopped.
“Dance with me? And don’t say you can’t. I’ve seen you do it.”
I didn’t know when he had seen me dance, but it wasn’t like I was shy about it. I pursed my lips at him and it slowly turned into a smile. He grabbed my hand and moved me to the music. It wasn’t a slow song, but it was relaxing, like something you might hear in a coffee shop.
Sebastian and I didn’t dance pressed together. He moved me around, swinging me here and there, having me spin under his arm then back. He’d extend me out then would have me spin back into him, which would curl both our arms around me. None of it was done in a sexual way like it was when some couples tended to dance. It was goofy and fun.
I started finding a pattern to his rhythm and it became easy to follow. He no longer pulled me; instead I stepped into the move. Realizing this, he decided to change it up. As I tried to go one way, he pulled me another, causing me to lose my balance and fall against him. We were both laughing as he helped me right myself while I used his chest for balance. I looked up at him and saw the carefree humor on his face and realized that this was the real Sebastian.
Slowly my amusement ceased as I felt my body hum against his. I stared up at him from under my lashes and soon his laughter stopped too. We both stood there staring at one another, neither of us speaking. I gradually slid my hand up his chest and around his neck threading my fingers into his hair. I watched as his eyes briefly fluttered closed from the contact. Stepping into him until I was flush against him, my eyes dropped to his lips before meeting his gaze, all the while Sebastian stood motionless, his eyes locked on mine. With the music still playing around us, I stood on my toes and pressed my lips against his, not because the pull towards him was strong or because I was drunk, but because I wanted too.
